


It's Not a Sixth Sense, It's a Pain in the Ass

by EJelly



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Car Accidents, Dead People, Detective AU, First Kiss, First person POV Eren, Fluff, Funny, Ghosts, Grumpy Levi, I can finally add that shit, M/M, Sad, Slow Burn, a lot of swearing, because thats the way I like it, but can you blame him, detective eren, ereri, funny will hopefully make up for the sad, he's dead, more tags added as story goes on, non-binary Hange, some sixth sense shit, therapist Hange
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-24
Updated: 2019-01-30
Packaged: 2019-04-07 14:46:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 129,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14083260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EJelly/pseuds/EJelly
Summary: Three months ago Eren was in a life altering car accident. Out of the precinct for three months left him a bit out of touch with the detective scene and the new undead additions to his line of sight have left him a little out of touch with life. He could have lost an arm, left paralyzed from the waist down or reduced to a vegetable in the hospital, but no.... he can just see Casper in his fucking kitchen. After a few weeks to adjust to his new 'sight' Eren starts to think he won't be able to handle this, the death, the sorrow, the loss. He doesn't think he can cope with it alone, that is, until he meets one ghost, a short, grumpy ghost with the kind of detective mind Eren would kill for and a hankering for some cigarettes.Apparently the dead can't smoke though, so, huh, who knew?





	1. First Day Back

**Author's Note:**

> Whoo, some sixth sense Ereri shit right here!! Hahaa, hope you enjoy and please let me know what you think of this first chapter!!!

"Dispatch this is Kirstein and Jaeger, 10-23, we’re gonna need some back up to keep public stragglers at bay." I place the radio half-heartedly back into its hold and park the car up the curb.

"Holy shit, guy gets murdered down the road from your house you’d think people would keep their distance." Usually I wouldn’t agree with Jean but when that _guy’s_ one of the Titan’s biggest high end assets, Kitz Wielman, you _would_ think people would keep their distance.

"Yeah…" I’m about to get out the car when I turn to look at him. "But people are stupid Jean, and those stupid people are what keep us _busy and employed_." I give him one of my stupid smiles and open the car door. "Come on horseface, let’s go examine us a dead body." I can hear Jean grumble something under his breath as he gets out the other side, something along the lines of _preferred it when you were in a coma_.

"You missed me and you know it!" I wink at him then, making Jean roll his eyes as we make our way down the block towards the plethora of people.

God I missed this.

"Eren! Jean! You’re here!" Mina comes running up to us as we step under the police tape. "It’s so nice to see you back in the game Eren! You look really well…" She blushes a little and clutches her clipboard to her chest.

"Thanks Mina, it’s really good to be back." I smile at her and start to head inside, passing more officers and more police tape.

"Jesus Christ, this guy must have been fucking loaded!" Jean starts to put on his gloves and heads further into the house whilst I stay stood in the doorway. I take in the scene a bit more and turn around to look out onto the yard. There are people all over the place, making it hard to know who’s here to help and who’s here just to get in the way. I glance over the once pristine lawn and notice a confused bearded gentleman who appears to be in his pyjamas and a grey silk dressing gown. Dude must be a nosey neighbour, not that he should have been allowed this close. I’m about to go escort the man back behind the tape when I hear Jean from the other room.

"Yo, Jaeger, you coming or am I doing this on my own?!"

"Yeah!" I turn back around and notice the man is gone, probably escorted by another officer. I start towards the other room to catch up with Jean and find him half way up the stairs.

"There are too many people here, how are we supposed to actually _detect_ anything?!" He stops, turning around to look at me.

"A lot of precautions have to be put in place for this Jean, heavy Titan associate murdered in his own suburban home. A thing like that could spark a down right war between families." I put on my own gloves and follow him up the stairs.

"Yeah, I guess." We walk into what has to be the master bedroom. People are busy left and right, putting questionable things in plastic bags and writing down witness statements.

"Eren! It’s so awesome you could make it!" Armin stands up from the blood splatter he was inspecting and jogs over to us.

"Wouldn’t miss it for the world Armin." I take in the body lying diagonally on the bed. "Quite a case to come back to, huh?" Armin turns to look at the body with me and his face takes on a sour look.

"Yeah, things have only escalated since you were gone. The two families have been at each other’s throats causing more and more disruptions in the city limits. After what happened, Marlowe and Hitch were put on the case temporarily but leads went totally dry." I look down to see Armin biting his lip and I place a hand on his shoulder making him turn around. "I’m really happy you’re back Eren."

"Me too Armin, and I’m as good as new, _maybe even better_." I smile at him, removing my hand and gesturing triumphantly, tracing my hands up and down my body.

"Just in case anyone actually cares that I _also_ showed up…" Jean steps up to interrupt our conversation. "… I’m gonna go find out what Hannes got out of the housekeeper." Armin smiles as Jean walks away.

"You know he missed you too. You may not get along sometimes but you’re still his partner." He looks up at me.

"Yeah, I know." 

I follow Armin over to the body and notice the scarlet red soaking into the sheen of the man’s grey dressing gown.

Huh. Grey dressing gown.

The body has taken on a blue hue and the man’s eyes are glazed over. My own eyes rake over his features, taking in the full beard and the perpetual expression of fear and confusion left on his face.

Oh shit, not again.

"Eren, you alright?" I look over at Armin, concern clear in his expression.

"Yeah, just… something weirdly familiar about him…"

"Well yeah, guys been all over the news since he joined that political campaign, you probably saw his face a lot."  Yeah that’s probably what it is.

Bet he never wore his dressing gown on TV though.

We spend the next three hours at the house, gathering all the info we’ll need to open up the investigation and start filling in our initial reports. I drive back to the precinct, parking in the underground lot.

"You alright Jaeger, you were uncharacteristically quiet on the way home? Not that I’m really complaining." We walk side by side into the front of the building.

"Yeah, just… thinking, lot for a first day back is all."

"I suppose it is a bit, crazy job to come back to after a three month leave."

Three months, sure feels longer than that. Three months ago I was in a pretty bad car accident. It happened during a pursuit after a down town shoot out. We had good information that Titans were making a deal down the docks and waited to catch them, collect evidence that can finally put us back on track and put some of the damn bastards behind bars. But it didn’t go quite according to plan… my car rolled five times, it was surreal.

I thought I was going to die… and so did everyone else.

Our only Titan lead in six months was lost and I was unconscious in a bed at Shiganshina Heart Hospital. Overall, a pretty shitty end to a pretty shitty case.

I was in a coma for two and a half months, two weeks ago I woke up and after way too many tests and exclamations of ‘I feel fine Mikasa, I swear’, here I am. Back behind my desk at the Shiganshina precinct of 104, everything back to normal… well almost.

I open up the new folder that’s been placed on my desk next to a rather obnoxiously large arrangement of flowers and start to skim through it when I hear my name.

"Eren!" I look up and see Erwin standing outside his office, gesturing for me to follow him back inside. I get up from my desk and knock Jean’s lunch out of his hand as I walk passed.

Oh yes, I sure did miss this.

"Auuuhhh, Fuck you Eren, he’s probably just gonna yell at you for not wearing a tie again." I turn around, walking backwards still towards the captains office.

"Just because you want us all to look as stupid as you in your shitty suit vest, doesn’t mean I’m game." I reach the office door and turn around; going inside before Jean can retort and I close the door behind me.

"Sir?"

"Sit Eren." I do. "We’re all very happy to have you back Eren and on behalf of the whole precinct, we’re very glad you’re okay."

"Cool, um… I mean…" I clear my throat. "…thank you sir. I too, am very happy to be back... and okay." I smile.

"I just wanted to cover some basics whilst I have you and go over some of your reports of the incident, if you don’t mind?"

Erwin catches me up on three months of what few leads they had and we go over my incident reports of the events leading up to my crash. I’ve been working in the precinct for a while now and learnt how to work with Erwin. He can be a bit of a hard ass and lives by the most arbitrary of rules, but he’s a good captain. After about half an hour, I get up, opening the door to leave.

"Oh and Eren, I expect a tie tomorrow."

"Ugh, seriously?!"

"Yes Eren."

"But why, it doesn’t change my performance as a detective!"

"It’s not about your performance Eren, it’s about professionalism. _I_ know you’re by far one our best, but I still need you to appear like that to the rest of the world"

I sigh and nod my head, about to close the door again when Erwin’s voice slips through once more.

"Oh and Eren, don’t you have an appointment with Hange at four?" He doesn’t look up from his desk as he asks me. Another condition to me coming back to work was that I saw the departments psychiatrist, Hange Zoe, an eccentric, messy haired individual who probably knows more about my life right now than any other person.

Hange’s nice.

But they’re kinda exhausting.

"Yes, Sir, I’m leaving right now." I close the door behind me and walk over to my desk, kicking Connie’s shin to get him out of my chair. "Go mooch off someone else’s office supplies Springer."

Wincing at his now bruising limb, Connie gets up and leans against Jean’s desk opposite mine. "Oh come on Eren, you guys always have the best snacks!"

"What, Sasha send you over here?"

"Perhaps, but she’s currently scoping out the evidence room for any high end foods."

"Jesus, Connie, it’s an evidence locker not fucking lost and found, you can’t just claim the shit after four weeks." He just shrugs and I pull my jacket off the back of my chair, grabbing my keys to leave. "I’ll see you ladies tomorrow!" I wave with my back to them already half in the elevator.

I make my way across the other end of the building, through various other departments until I’m stood outside Hange’s door. I take a deep breath and open it, letting myself inside.

"Ereeeeeen! Uh, I’m so happy to see you!" They embrace me in a rather over the top hug and gesture for me take a seat. Settling in the chair opposite me, Hange takes out their notebook and starts to quickly glance over their notes from a couple days ago. I’m scheduled to see Hange at least a couple days a week because apparently what I went through was ‘very traumatic’ and ‘could seriously fuck me up if not handled properly’, yeah…think it’s a little late for that.

"Hange." I smile at them and sit awkwardly on the sofa, immediately reflecting on what we spoke about the other day, waiting for it to inevitably come up today.

"Right, Eren. First day back at the precinct today, how was that?" There’s a massive smile on their face and they lean forward as if incredibly intrigued as to what I might say.

"It was… good I guess." Hange nods enthusiastically and gestures for me to go on. "There was a pretty big murder case, Titan associate… nothing like a bit of rigor mortis to really bring you back in the game. Although I think the circumstance made everyone a bit stiff…" I smile lazily at my own joke.

" _Eren_ , what did we say about using humour as a coping mechanism…?"

"That its cliché and I need to find something more original if I really want to get any attention…?" Hange raises their eyebrows at me, a stern expression crossing their face. I sigh. "…That it’s the first sign of denial and me not dealing with what’s really bothering me."

"Good, good. Now…you feel like everybody’s treating you like they did before or is there any walking on eggshells – because you were a bit worried about that?"

"No, everybody’s… the same as before, they act as if I _wasn’t_ unconscious in the hospital for two and a half months. But, it was really nice to see everyone, and I got a lot of welcome backs so…" I’d been at the Shiganshina 104 precinct for almost five years now and everyone there I considered a close friend.

I’ve been seeing Hange for a week so far, one week after I came out the hospital and we’ve already covered the accident, my work ethic, my absent father and my dead mother…

"And what about the 'ghosts', have you seen any more of those?" Oh yeah, and the fact that I can see the dead now.

 

When I told this to Hange last week I wasn’t really sure how they were gonna react. The thing about Hange is, they’re serious enough about their profession not to jump to the conclusion of calling you crazy, but they’re crazy enough themselves to actually, maybe believe what you tell them. I noticed the change as soon as I woke up in the hospital, because there were way too many people around. When I questioned it to the nurses they just kinda thought I was still groggy from my long ‘nap’.

I went along with this for a while, ‘nope, just my imagination, tired side effect from my head injury, seeing things that weren’t there’. But then, it got a bit too real. People began appearing out of the blue, people no one else could see… people who weren’t _here_ anymore. I’ve found they don’t react to me if I don’t acknowledge them myself, some try talking to me but they can only say so much, and it usually ends up becoming fragmented and I don’t know how to help before they disappear.

It was hard to accept it was really happening and not just me going crazy, besides, crazy’s overrated. I decided to go back to the hospital to test out my dead theory and that’s when I found out my mind wasn’t bullshitting me, I was seeing dead people, ghosts, the deceased, spirits… fucking Casper. I spoke to them in the hospital and then watched as their families cried over their bodies.

It wasn’t a fun day.

When I got home after that experience, it was all a bit too much. I lost it. I threw things and I cried. That’s why I see Hange two days a week rather than one, not that anyone really knows the reason why I freaked out.

Accept Hange now.

I see people lost in the streets, some following other _living_ people and some just wandering around in circles around the same plot of land or building. I don’t think they can touch me, thank god. After talking to some in brief passing, it’s easy to see how people fare on the other side. Depending on time, some forget their names, how they died… basically who they were. They’re just left to forever wander the empty planes of the in between world until somebody figures out what’s tying them here.

Last week it all got too much, I had to talk to somebody about it, somebody who wouldn’t immediately label me as unstable and shove me straight back in the hospital. I know my friends would’ve only reacted like that out of concern but…. I just needed someone to take me seriously, or at least, look like they were taking me seriously.

And that’s where Hange came in.

"Have you had any recent interactions you want to talk about?" I still don’t know whether they believe me or whether they’re just humouring me. But I’ll take what I can get.

"I saw the murder victim today, walking around in his own front yard…"

"And what exactly made you so sure it was the deceased?"

"Because I saw him five minutes later bled out on his _fucking_ cashmere bedding… bullet hole and everything! I don’t know what’s keeping him from crossing over but I assume it’s got something to do with all the _fucking_ lives he’s _fucked_ up since working with the _fucking_ Titans – or maybe he just took a wrong turning somewhere, it’s not like I’m an expert or anything." My voice gets gradually less tense as I talk more, until I gesture lazily at the last remark.

"Okay Eren…okay." Hange keeps the smiles on their face, having gotten use to my little outbursts quite quickly into our sessions. "Have you had any more thoughts about the subject that you’d wish to share, last week you were wondering what might keep people tethered to certain areas?"

I think about Hange’s question, I had thought about it, a lot. I wondered, if I could figure out what kept people stuck in one place, it could lead to figuring out what kept them trapped here at all.

"I thought maybe, certain objects or… events that happened seem like the most likely tether points."

"And what do you wanna do with that information." They lean back in their chair and practically take on a vibrating excitement at the conversation; I’m actually quite impressed as to how professional they’re keeping it.

I shrug again.

"I don’t know, help them I guess. It seems stupid… t-to have this… thing, and not be able to do anything with it…"

"You help people for a living Eren; it’s in your nature. And you should by all means look into using it like that; besides, it’s always best to use one’s super power for good rather than evil… unless becoming the super villain is the ultimate sacrifice in order to empower others so they are able to reach their full potential and save humanity. BUT that’s an entirely different topic all together."

Yeeeah… anyway…

   
We cover the rest of life’s general topics and I leave an hour later, heading off home. I decide to walk since it’s only a few blocks away and the fresh air will probably do me good. The days have become considerably shorter over the past few weeks and the suns already setting outside, the street lights illuminating the still busy side walk. Can’t believe I missed the whole summer.

I step outside and do up my jacket, stuffing my hands into my pockets and start walking home. I get about a hundred yards when I notice a little girl sitting on a bench next to an array of bright flowers, all adorned with cards and stuffed toys. I walk past her and my heart tightens because I know… I know why she’s there.

"Excuse me Mr…?" I hear the light, quiet voice of the girl try and grab my attention – she must have seen me glance at her. "C-can you see me? Please tell me you can see me…" I consider for a moment to just keep walking, but how could I; if I wanna learn how to help people then I can’t just walk away from them. I take my hands out my pockets and turn around to look at her again. She has red hair, still up in two wonky pigtails; big green eyes just stare back at me, waiting for me to say something… presumably anything.

"Yeah…" Her eyes immediately spilling over with tears, she hasn’t been here for long, maybe a couple days, I know because the story of the hit and run only made it into the papers three days ago. "…I can see you…" I take a seat next to her on the bench and watch everyone else pass by, no idea on what’s happening around them. I turn to look at the girl who’s still crying, tears disappearing into nothing as they fall off her face. "You got a name…?"

"Isabelle… m-my name is Isabelle." I take in the big assortment of flowers next to her and a soft, white rabbit who looks well-loved strapped to the top.

"It’s nice to meet you Isabelle, my name’s Eren." She looks at me again and goes to poke my jacket, her finger just going right through the fabric, as if I was the one who wasn’t really here.

"C-can you take me home E-Eren…?"

Life would be so much easier if I could just be a super villain…

"I’ll try my hardest Isabelle…I promise…"

 

 

 A week’s gone by since I came back to the precinct and shits already hit the fan. The Titans were quick to respond with a counter attack towards the Scouts, assuming responsibility for Kitz’s murder. Three bodies were found at the Dock this morning, two of which were innocent pedestrians and one… a potential lead.

God please, thou shalt not shit on me no longer…

"Yo Jean, where are the perp photos from the Trost case, I wanna compare the tattoo to the one found on our John this morning?" I sit up leaning obnoxiously over Jean’s desk, smiling when he gives me the evils and I steal one of his crisps.

"Fingers off Jaeger! The pics are in the evidence and storage lockup." He swats my hand away amidst typing something into his computer.

Damnit – I was afraid he’d say that…

"Do you think you could go get them for me?" I flutter my eyelashes at him, leaning even further forward.

"Go get them yourself you lazy bastard!" Jean pushes me away and I land back in my chair, its wheels carrying me back until I crash into Ymir’s desk behind me. I swing around in the chair and rest my arms on her desk, fluttering my lashes again.

"Ymirrrr, do you…" She looks up at me, her eyes telling me I wasn’t going to get anywhere with her.

"Just go get them Eren, what’s the problem?" I stand up abruptly and kick my chair so it wheels back to my own desk.

"Nothing!" I raise my hands up, gesturing nonchalantly. "I’ll go get them, whatever…" I walk towards the back exit, rounding various corners, making my way to the back rooms. I never had a problem with the evidence lock up before, but now… I hated going in there. I can only assume due to the endless amounts of objects, most linked with various murders, both solved and unsolved lining the shelves.

And where there are dead people’s objects…

…there are inevitably dead people…

Figures

As I walk through the door I can already feel them, spirits wandering up and down the narrow aisles, in between boxes upon boxes of discarded evidence. The ends of the aisles are labelled alphabetically; I forgot to ask Jean whether it would come under location or case name so I go with ‘T’ for Trost. Walking round the corner, I run my hand along the shelving, my eyes searching for anything that could indicate I’m in the right section. As I pull one box off of its shelf I feel a freezing cold sensation on my back. I turn around abruptly and notice an old woman walking down the same aisle, she must have just brushed past me.

I purposely don’t look around at the body’s wandering around the room because if they notice I can see them, that’s when they’ll wanna talk to me…

And I’m not sure I can deal with some lost, melancholy soul right now.

"For fuck sake, this rooms a mess!" I shout it as my fist makes contact with the metal shelving unit which makes the whole thing rattle. "I just wanna find the bloody Trost box and get the hell out of here!"

_"Someone moved it five days ago, making the executive decision to royally fuck up a semi decent system since sorting evidence is always more efficiently organized by case profile, but hey, who’s gonna listen to the fucking dead guy. You’ll probably find it two boxes up from your left."_

I stop dead in my tracks as a deep rich voice starts talking behind me. Its tone bored and completely uninterested whilst telling me exactly what I needed to hear. I reach up slowly to where it said the box would be and I pull it out…  
  
...lo and behold…

I turn around slowly, the Trost box cradled in my arms and I notice a man standing about five feet away from me, leaning against the shelves with his arms crossed, not looking in my direction.

"Thanks…" My voice sounds quiet to my own ears and I’m not sure he’s heard me, but then, I’m looking into the sharpest grey eyes I’ve ever seen.

Wow, that’s an attractive ghost.

…okay, whoa, Eren… well that’s a first…

I take the ghost in, his dark, crisp suit, raven coloured undercut, and finally the look of surprise adorning his beautiful face.

_"… you’re welcome brat…?"_

 

 


	2. Levi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So super happy with the initial feedback!!! Ahhhhh  
> Just one note for the story in general, I've written Levi in italics (you've probs already noticed but eh), he's the only ghost I've done this for purely because he's in it a lot and it makes it a bit easier to distinguish whose talking . KWL XD  
> Really hope you guys like this update!  
> I ALWAYS appreciate feedback and kudos so pleased comment to let me know your thoughts on how its going! Spread the love!!!!! *throws confetti* *immediately regrets confetti* <333

I can’t take my eyes off of the ghost, the surprise on his face long gone and replaced with a completely, stoic, unreadable expression. I should probably say something…

Words…

No, no, there _are_ no words… that’s gotta be a first …for me.

 _"Take a picture brat, it’ll last longer… Although I can’t guarantee it’ll work, photographs were always the biggest load of bullshit evidence on those shitty ghost hunter shows. They’ll probably say you Photoshoped me… which is just insulting…"_ The ghost shakes his head slowly, seemingly appalled by the idea of becoming debunked evidence. _"So you_ can _see me…?"_

"Um…yeah, I…yeah…" Well done Eren, really making the most of this power.

 _"Oh good, I’m so relieved the one_ living _person I can seemingly talk to is so… articulate."_

"Hey! I’m still adjusting I’ll have you know… and you don’t gotta be so sassy!" Apparently insulting me is the best way to get me talking? Huh… yeah sounds about right.

The ghost hasn’t moved from his initial position since I turned around, leant up against the far shelving unit, arms crossed. He just raises a perfectly thin eyebrow at me.

 _"Well would you look at that, a full sentence, I feel so privileged… nice tie by the way."_ He points at my collar and I look down at my green tie with the little paw prints and cats on it. I was told to wear a tie, so… I wore a tie. Plus Jean hates it so that’s a bonus.

"They told me I had to wear a tie… so I wore a tie…" I adjust the evidence box so it balances on my hip and I raise my free hand in a fist. "… I’m making a stand, in my own way…"

 _"Your_ stand _has kittens all over it…"_

"Well… ya!"

_"You know the tie is to make you look professional, right?"_

"Um, I _do_ look professional, plus… _approachable."_  I lift the tie up half-heartedly and gesture outwards. "The perfect detective… _and_ , it brings out the green in my eyes…"

_"You’re crazy…"_

"Says the dead guy…!"

 _"Says the brat_ talking _to the dead guy…!"_

I open my mouth to throw back but… I got nothing.

"…Touché…" I raise an eyebrow.

 Am I _flirting_ with the dead guy? Okay, Eren, focus.

"EREN!" Shit its Jean. "Yo, Jaeger, what the hell’s taking so long?" He appears from around the corner and I turn to scowl at him. "And who the fuck are you talking to!?"

"I’m…" I turn back to look at the ghost who’s disappeared… like he was never there to begin with. "…no one…my-myself." Jean punches me lightly in the shoulder to get my attention.

"Sounds like a surreal conversation Jaeger…"

"You have… _no idea_ … anyway, what do you want?" He looks down at the box in my hand, nodding, and then shoves a file into my free hand.

"The file you asked for last week, the one on the hit and run down the road. Don’t know why you want to look at it anyway; guy was caught, number plate and everything. Case closed."

Yeah well, tell that to the little girl stuck sitting on that shitty bench.

"Thanks Jean, you did me a solid." I smack him lightly with the file, a small gesture of thanks in Eren language. Jean starts to leave but turns to point a finger at me.

"You owe me one!" Well shit. He leaves and I start to walk out the door myself but stop to look back at the cold room.

There’s no sign of the ghost I was talking to, just the old lady walking back down the same aisle, so I quickly turn to go before she sees me. I don’t have the energy to talk to anymore dead people. Part of my brain wonders if the conversation I just had even really happened, and then another part… _really hopes it did._

I leave the precinct at five, deciding to walk again; I remove the stupid tie from around my neck and do up my jacket, shoving my hands into my pockets. As I walk down the street I check the bench over the other side of the road to see if Isabelle’s there. Over the past week she’s come and gone. I don’t know how much control ghosts _have_ over when they appear, where they appear or how long for.

Looking over her file earlier just put me in a bad mood, no loose ends, no complications, nothing to explain why she’d still be here.

She’s there today and so I make my way across the road to sit down. As soon as she sees me I hear my name.

"E-erEn!" Her voice is slightly fragmented for some reason, and I don’t know what that means… is it a bad thing? It’s like when you’re listening to the radio and you go through a tunnel, except, instead of outdated pop music, it’s the voices of the dead – okay, so…basically the same thing, but still.

"Hey Isabelle." I try and keep my voice quite quiet as to not attract unwanted attention. Although having said that, lonely man talking to himself on a bench in the middle of the city, ain’t such a rare occurrence. "How are you doing today?"

"I’m oK-kay… h-how wAs yooour day?" The lonely, soul-trapped dead girl is asking about _my_ day… some people are just so selfless.

"Umm, well, it was okay I suppose…" I sigh.

"Catch a-aNy baD guys?!!!" I look down at her eyes - how they still manage to look so full of wonder and excitement, I don’t know how – but I’ll try my best to make it stay there.

I chuckle but shake my head.

"Not today… just a load of paper work and _really_ … bizarre conversations."

"With Pe-eOple like meee?"

"Um, yeah, actually – I suppose he was…"

"Y-yOU’re smiling Eren…!" She giggles but her face suddenly takes on a serious expression. "Have you figured out h-How to geT me h-home yet?" My stomach drops at her question, because I haven’t figured out shit.

"Not yet Isabelle, I’m sorry…"

"That’s o-OkaY ErEn, I know you’re t-trying your HarDest to heLp M-me!" She looks up again, smiling.

This little girls gonna be the death of me.

 

I finally get home, opening the front door to the apartment complex and immediately come face to face with our old landlord, and I mean, _old_ landlord - who died last year…

…and I went to his funeral…

…then I went to his wake…

I ate cake…

And now I’m watching him go through peoples post?

"Mr Pixis Sir, should you be doing that?" At the sound of my voice, he spins around causing envelopes to splay all over the floor. Ghosts may not be able to physically touch things but their energy can cause shit to happen.

Sigh… I’m gonna have to clean that up aren’t I?

"Eren, ma boy! How was your day?" The old guy was always good to Mikasa and I. Since he knew we didn’t have any other family he checked up on us often and helped us out at the beginning when money was tight. I ran into Dot my first day back from the hospital and he was the first ghost who really tried to talk to me… and I fainted.

But I couldn’t figure out why he was still here, the guy died of a heart attack…

"It was alright sir, and yours?" He smiles at me, making his moustache smile with him and his crow’s feet stretch around his eyes.

"Yes yes, it’s been quite productive. I’m waiting for the pretty lady from 7b to come and collect her mail." Pixis was a good guy but he could be kinda eccentric…. or creepy, and not in the cool ghost kinda way.

"… _well_ … I should really get up to see my sister…" I raise my hand in a so long and start walking up the stairs, shouting down to him. "…and try not to mess the post up too much!!"

Crazy old bastard…

But you should _never_ speak ill of the dead.

Unless, you know, they were a total dick whilst they were alive...

Fact: Ghosts can be dicks too.

I get to the fourth floor, grabbing the keys out of my pocket and open the front door. I kick it shut behind me and take in the quiet apartment.

"Yo! Mika, you in!?" I walk further inside and turn on a lamp. That’s weird. I walk to the kitchen area and notice the red light blinking on the landline – must be a voice message. I grab a bottle of water from the fridge then jump onto the side, pressing the blinking light.

'YOU HAVE ONE NEW MESSAGE – 16:37PM – (message tone)’ Mikasa’s voice suddenly fills the apartment.

"Eren, I’m so sorry but my shifts going to go over again at the hospital tonight and I won’t be back for dinner, please make sure you cook something substantial, don’t just… heat up a pizza or something. You need to keep your strength up. I’ll be home quite late so don’t wait up; get some sleep…oh and … huh? Okay, Eren I have to go but we’ll talk tomorrow okay? Love y…"

"PRESS 1 TO DELE…" I immediately get rid of the message and jump off the side. All her voice mails were along the same lines anyway: gotta work late, eat something, get some sleep….

I look around the now silent apartment and close my eyes. For a guy who can talk to the dead, I sure don’t have many people to talk to right now.

I decide to heat up a pizza – because I’m an adult and I’m fucking tired – and go over Isabelle’s report again, along with some of the Trost case evidence. Looking over the case takes me back to the ghost in the evidence room; I wonder why he was in there.

How _long_ has he been in there?

How did he die?

NO Eren, you don’t have time to fix every ghost’s problems. My eyes travel back to Isabelle’s file and I read over the girl’s general info to see if anything sticks out about her individually.

Isabelle Magnolia, Eight years old…

Fucking e _ight_ man…

She lived in the far end of town with her two parents and younger brother, Farlan who was six… far end of town gets pretty rough around there, family must have a few financial struggles. Mr Magnolia works as a building sight operator and Miss Magnolia, a stay at home mother.

Standard family…well they were.

Loss like that changes a family.

I would know…

I finish going over the report, put the leftover pizza in the fridge and after many hours of rough, disturbed sleep, I manage to get a good couple hours in.

 

I stumble into work the next morning, late and …no tie. I slept like shit, and I feel like shit as a result.

Stupid nightmares…

I walk over to my desk and throw the files down, sending a loud slap sound around the precinct office.

"Wow, Jaeger, you look like shit." Thanks Jean, but we already covered that. "Rough night?" Jean’s a jerk sometimes but an inkling of concern does actually come through in his tone.

"Yeah, something like that. Oh, and thanks again for the Magnolia file…" I lob it over to his desk, and watch it land precariously on top of his breakfast pastry, sending crumbs everywhere. Oops. All concern drains form Jean’s face and he just looks kinda pissed now…

…which actually cheers me up a bit.

He just brushes the crumbs onto the floor and places the file in his top draw.

"Was it helpful?" He proceeds to eat his now abused pastry.

Well!  No _and_ Yes, _no_ , because it didn’t show anything I could determine an anomaly to work with, and _yes_ , because it _showed_ me there was nothing I could determine an anomaly to work with… So just _no,_ I guess.

Semantics

"Not as much as I would have liked but, still useful, thanks."   

"No problem Jaeger, what about the Trost evidence, any luck there?" Actually, that there was our silver lining.

"Yes! So, the John from the Trost case was ruled ‘dead evidence’ because he was a singularity in a much bigger line of potential leads, right? One suspected Titan found at a crime scene wasn’t enough to follow anything, _but_ , the guy from the docks had exactly the same marking and tats on his body. Two Titans now at two _seemingly_ unrelated homicide scenes…"

"If they’re seemingly unrelated how are we supposed to put a new case together…?"

"That’s the thing; I was going over the locations and I _know_ I’m onto something Jean, I just… I know they’re connected but… a third murder would be helpful…" I shrug and Jean raises his eyebrows at me. "… but not preferable!" His face just turns to a scowl and I raise my hands defensively.

"Eren, you know Erwin’s gonna want a report on this mess by the end of the week, along with some kind of development on Kitz Wielman."

"Fuck. Yeah, I know…"

 

"Ereeeen, hey Eren…" I feel somebody lightly push the side of my head, making my whole body aware of the extremely uncomfortable position I’m in. I pick my head up and realise I fell asleep at my desk, looking up I see Sasha standing next to me, a coffee in hand which she holds out for me to take.

"Thanks Sasha"

"Maybe you should head home Eren." I look up at the clock and realise its well past seven. "Jean left like, an hour ago. I wasn’t sure whether we should have woken you up sooner but… you seemed really tired." 

"No, its fine, thanks again for the coffee…" I lift it up in thanks before taking a sip. Sasha smiles and turns to leave, putting her coat on.

"I’ll see you tomorrow Eren."

"Night Sasha…" I look around the office and its quiet, everyone else having gone home. I wanted to get the development of the Kitz report written up before tomorrow and if I didn’t do it here, I’d just have to do it at home and there probably wouldn’t be anyone there anyway. I get up and grab the evidence box for Wielman and take it back to the store room.

Standing outside the door I walk in and hit the light switch with my elbow, making the whole room flood with a cold illumination. I walk down the aisle and push the box back where Jean had gotten it out earlier, part of me wanting to walk around the room to see if I can find the ghost from yesterday.

I make my way towards the door when I kick something I hadn’t noticed on my way in. I bend down and lift up the front; it’s an evidence box, ‘WALL ROSE CASE 13.06.17’

This case is nearly a year old, what’s it doing out here?

_"That’s your third connection…"_

The deep, rich voice sends a shiver down my spine and I spin around, standing straight with my back to the door. The ghost looks exactly the same as yesterday, which of _course_ he would, he’s a ghost. He leans against the metal shelves, arms crossed and the same deadpan expression.

"What do you mean?" He looks me in the eye with this intense stare and I can feel my pulse speed up.

Damn you hot ghost!

 _"The third connection…. Linking to the Dock homicides yesterday, you came in here looking for the Trost evidence box, supposedly finding a correlation between those two cases. A suspected Titan body found at both locations is one body away from a pattern, you find what links the locations together, and you can create a lead for the Titan’s attendance. One obvious connection being their produce distribution, the Docks, the predominant fishing port for the city and Trost, sending thousands of fruit crates up and down the county…"_ I stare at the ghost, not wanting to look away in case he disappeared again.

"And how does this case come into it?"

" _I_ _t’s your pattern, last year a suspected Titan body was found at the murder scene inside one of Wall Rose’s company building’s, Wall Rose being one of the biggest meat packing name’s in the industry. Now you have three locations with three bodies and three clear smuggling routes… the third connection you need to build a new case."_

My mouth hangs open, ‘cause fuck, how did I not put that together?

"That was amazing…"

_"No kid, I just have a lot of fucking time on my hands, it was mediocre detective work.’"_

"Well… thanks anyway, you have no idea how much stress that’s gonna save me."

 _"Guy spends his time talking to ghosts I imagine he has a lot on his plate… besides, detective work is what I do… well…it’s what I did, anyway."_ The ghost’s expression doesn’t change, giving away no emotion.

"Well you’re… real good at it…detecting I mean."

 _"Well thanks Eren."_ His voice still sounds bored, almost mocking, so I’m not really sure whether he took the compliment, whoa, wait, how the hell does he know my name?

"How do you know my name!? … You really _are_ a good detective..."

_"No, Eren, your equestrian friend called you by it when you were in here yesterday. That wasn’t detective work, that’s called listening – you should try it some time."_

Huh, okay, yeah, I’ll give him that.

 _"Not making a stand today I see?"_  The ghost points to my shirt where my tie sat yesterday. I shrug.

"Na, Erwin…th-the captain, let it go for now since I’ve…got a lot of stuff going on…"

 _"Ghost stuff…?"_ His tone is still quite condescending.

"Amongst _other_ things…" I feel my face heat up slightly and I rub the back of my neck. "Wait! How did you move the box?" It only just occurred to me that he must have picked it up off the shelf in order to get me to notice it.

_"Well, I used my hands, and moved it… with my hands…"_

"But you’re a ghost…"

 _"Yes that has been well established Eren, you really are a detective…"_ I ignore his sarcastic tone and step closer.

So much sass from one ghost…

"I thought your kind couldn’t… touch… stuff?"

_"Well first of all, my kind? Kid, you make us sound like a minority and that’s just not cool. There are way more dead people than living people."_

"Okay, I’m…sorry if I offended you?"

_"I wasn’t offended, that would be a ridiculous thing to be offended by…"_

"Then why did you bring it up!?" I gesture my hands out and the ghost just shrugs. "So you’re just _trying_ to be a dick then?"

Fact: Ghosts can be dicks too

 _"Yeah…"_ The ghost lifts his shoulders slightly and I notice the left side of his mouth quirk up. Bastard’s getting a kick out of this. "… _not many ways to entertain yourself in here… but to answer your initial question, we_ can _touch things, it just requires a shit tone of energy. Moving that box alone took me like_ all _fucking day. We can touch large physical objects such as furniture or walls, but… I don’t know! I’m not an expert on this shit!"_

"But you’re a ghost, how could you not know?"

 _"Well you're_ alive _, do you know the complex ins and outs of the sophisticated intricacies that is the human respiratory system!?"_

"No, of course I don’t…!"

 _"Then don’t assume I know why and how the fuck my body does what it does!’"_ Okay, fair argument. " _As far as I’m aware Eren, most of...us, can’t touch anything at all, and it takes quite a long time to get even remotely good at it, or use it efficiently, and when I say efficiently I’m not talking about that poltergeist bullshit."_  

"So, you must be reasonably good at controlling your energy, how long have you been down here?"

The ghost just shrugs again.

"Well… do you know _when_ you died?"

Shrug

"Do you know _how_ you died?"

Shrug

The ghost shows the first sign of emotion flicker through his eyes.

 _"I have no idea how long I’ve been stuck in this store room Eren…time works… differently this end. I could have been dead for years, or weeks, I wouldn’t know. If no one comes in here for a while, I stop feeling like I exist at all… until one of your bratty co-workers bargse in moving boxes or looking for food…"_ He raises a thin eyebrow at the last point and I chuckle.

"Yeah, that’s Sasha, she’s been told to stop doing that."

_"Guess they really do let anyone become a detective now days."_

"Shut up… So what, do ghosts feed off living people’s energy… sounds like it?" The ghost’s face takes on a thoughtful expression, I feel like I’m watching his brain work in the reflection of his eyes.

 _"Suppose that would make sense…"_ I take a few steps forward and raise my hand to poke the ghost in the shoulder, but my finger just goes right through it. It makes a sad feeling start to swell in the pit of my stomach, I knew he was dead and I knew he wasn’t _really_ _here_ …

…but I guess a part of me still kinda hoped he would be.

 _"Oi brat…! Do you mind?"_  I realise I’m still just staring down at him, my eyes lingering on the spot my hand just went through.

"Sorry! That was probably rude wasn’t it, I was just curious…" Something I just noticed was how much the ghost uses my name. "You call me by my name a lot…?" I didn’t actually mean to voice the question out loud; I actually quite liked hearing the ghost say my name.

That flicker of emotion shows up in his eyes again. Quick, but it was there.

 _"I guess it’s just nice to know, to remember, somebody’s name… Eren…Becomes harder to hold on to even small pieces of information for very long anymore…"_ His voice is quieter than before and I suppose it only just occurred to _me_ , that I never asked the ghost for his.

But I have a pretty good feeling that _time,_ isn’t the only thing the guys lost touch with…

"You don’t remember your name, do you?" His face stays impassive, showing no sign of correcting me but his eyes look down at the floor, avoiding my own.

A detective lives to solve puzzles, know the facts, and be one step ahead of everyone else at all times. It didn’t take me long to figure out that the guy standing in front of me was one hell of a detective once, heck... he still is. But to be stuck in here, fragmented by time and not even knowing your own fucking name…

"Well, we’ll just have to figure it out then." The ghost looks up at me. "Two detectives, shouldn’t be too difficult, right?" I look around the shambles of a store room. "Any idea where we could start though…?"

 

I lift the massive box up onto a metal table the far side of the room and start piling up the various files.

"You knew these were here but couldn’t go through them?"

 _"There’s a lot I can’t do Eren, remember?"_ I sit down at the table and open the first file. The box is full of past employee and detective files, both deceased and retired. The files cover the precinct for over five decades, so… there are quite a lot.

Each file comes with basic information regarding the individual, their background, their reason for leave and their badge. The ghost leans against the tables edge next to me, watching another ghost, a scrawny middle aged man, walk past.

"Can you, like, interact with the other ghosts?" It’s a question I’d been meaning to ask for a while, because surely he did have some form of company.

 _"In a sense, some are easier to talk to than others, some disappear more than others and some just have no idea what the fuck is going on…"_ he looks down at me _. "… they don’t make riveting company is what I’m saying."_

"Bet you’re real happy you met _me_ then." I smile up at him.

 _"Tch!"_ That’s a yes. " _What about you then…?"_  I look up again from the next file I pulled out the box. " _How come Eren Jaeger can talk to dead people?’"_  Good question.

"Good question, I’ll let you know the answer to it when I _find out_." I look down again and continue scanning the file. Nope.

I pull out the next file.

Nope.

I look at my watch and notice I’ve been going through the files for a good half hour and there’s been no sign of my ghost’s face, whoa… _the_ ghost… _the_ …  I take the opportunity whilst he closes his eyes to look up again, taking in the straight angles of his jaw line, and perfect profile. Take away the bags under his eyes and perpetually pissed off expression, you wouldn’t think he was a detective. I look down at his pristine suit, tailored to fit his short yet perfectly built body.

Jesus Eren, stop checking out the dead guy next to you and fucking concentrate.

I’m so tired and the pile of files is getting thinner and thinner, but no sign of… whoashityesomg… I look down at the same sharp piercing grey eyes that now glare at me from across the table. I run my thumb over the still shining gold of the badge fixed to the top right hand corner of the file page.

I look down at the photo, then up at the ghost in front of me…

…down at the photo…

…up at the ghost…

…down at the photo…

…up at the…

"I think I found you…" The ghost’s eyes widen ever so slightly but he makes no sign of moving. "Levi Ackerman…" I glance up again and notice his eye’s look distant. "Ring any bells?" He nods his head slowly. "Levi Ackerman, thirty-four years old, served nine years in Shiganshina 104 precinct….died…" My heart drops as I read on.

I look up at…Levi… and try to take in any expression he might give me, but there’s nothing. I clear my throat to continue.

"…Died 3rd of March 2013…" That was the same year I started at the precinct, maybe… five months before. "You’ve been stuck in this _fucking_ store room for over five years Levi."

 _"And what a five years it’s been…"_ His voice is still that bored, unimpressed tone I’m quickly getting use to.

"A-aren’t you angry!!?" I stand up from the table, pushing my chair backwards.

 _"And_ who _, and or,_ what _, am I supposed to be angry at Eren?"_ Levi leans back in his chair, crossing his arms. His eyes travel down, across the table and glance at the file… his file! " _How did I die?"_

I hadn’t read that far and I really didn’t want to, but Levi had a right to know.

"It says you were doing undercover work with a uh…" I look up catching his eye as he raises his eyebrows, gesturing for me to go on. "…a, um… a _Titan_ case, the case was closed swiftly after your cover was blown. Your death resulted in a lot of controversy regarding the liabilities of the procedures taken to procure information. It w-was…" I blink quickly to urge the tears at the corner of my eyes to go away. I didn’t want to read anymore. "…believed that you ignored the practiced extraction plan and pursued the… the target resulting in the capture of three high profile Titan heads, one of the biggest additions to the Titan case in decades. Regardless of casualty, the mission was deemed a big success and…your body was found 24 hours later, you bled to death by gunshot wound in a back alley…" I watch my tears drip onto Levi’s file and I swiftly wipe my eyes with the back of my arm.

_"Why are you crying brat, we already knew I was dead…?"_

"Y-yeah well it’s different when your given the whole picture… it was deemed a fucking success Levi, you died and all they cared about were s-some shitty results!!"

_"It hardly matters now…"_

"Of course it matters, you were brave…!"

 _"I was reckless!"_ Levi’s voice raises a notch, enough for me to notice the spark of anger in his eyes before its gone again. So he is angry, but with who? " _You should go Eren… thank you but you need to leave."_

"Levi!" Before I can even begin to argue he’s gone, just like that. I look around the room and it feels empty now.

I pick up Levi’s file and place it underneath my arm, placing the other files away in their box and placing that back on the shelf.

For some reason it hurt worse now, a ghost without a backstory is just a ghost, but a ghost with a past is a memory now…

It was easier when he was just a ghost…

I pick up the rest of my things in the store room and close the door, Levi’s file still under my arm; I place the Wall Rose box on my desk and leave to go home.

Now Levi knew his name, we just had to figure out what tethered him to that store room.

 

I get home a lot later than I’d planned and open the door to a dark apartment. Throwing my keys and Levi’s file onto the side table, I shake off my jacket. I’m so fucking tired and I just want this day to be over.

I glance at the clock above the cooker, the red lights telling me it was almost midnight – oops, Mikasa is probably asleep by now. I start to make my way to my room when a deep voice stops me in my tracks…

 _"What the fuck Jaeger!"_ I spin around, back against the wall, what the actual shit?

"Levi! H-how are you…"

 _"I don’t fucking know do I Eren, how am I…?!"_ Levi’s expression is one of pure confusion and a bit of shock. If I wasn’t so stunted myself I’d probably enjoy his non-composure more.

"Well, something must h-have made you follow me home, b-but… I…" I immediately run over to the side table and flip open Levi’s file, ripping off the badge attached to the corner. I hold it up to him, raising my eyebrows. "You think maybe you followed this?!" Levi’s expression has reverted mostly back to normal but his eyes widen again. Looking up, he takes a few steps until he’s standing right in front of me, he goes to touch the badge, but his fingers just go straight through it, causing the cold to run through my own fingers as he brushes them. Levi’s whisper fills the short space between us.

 _"Well shit…"_ We look at each other, neither really sure how to take in the moment.

"Eren!?" Fuck!

"OH MY GOD MIKASA!?... Mikasa, oh my god Mikasa, you’re awake." Caught up in the moment I totally forgot my sister was still asleep in the other room.

"Well, yeah, Eren, who the hell were you talking to at this hour, and why are you _home_ so late?!" I was never a good liar. I look down at Levi and he just shrugs.

"I, uh um, I was…just…talking to myself!?"

 _"Smooth Eren."_ I scowl at the ghost, gesturing my indifference.

"Shut up!" I whisper it but immediately realise I’d still look stupid. Levi chuckles at the whole situation as Mikasa’s face takes on a very confused expression.

 "Eren!?" I look back up at Mikasa who’s started to walk towards us from the other side of the room. She goes to stand in front of me, making Levi swiftly step to the side in order to avoid being walked through. She raises her hand to my forehead and frowns.

"Are you feeling okay Eren?! If not, we can schedule another hospital appointment, bring your next one forwards…?"

"Mikasa I’m fine!"

 _"Debatable…"_ I frown at Levi again who’s off to my side and I remove Mikasa’s hand from my forehead.

"I swear I’m fine Mika, I’m just tired…"

"Are you sure?"

 _No_ , I can actually see dead people now, it has really taken a strain on my mental health and today I got to know a ghost from my precinct who died five years ago and I accidentally brought him home with me.

"Yeah, I’m sure, just tired…"

 


	3. Let's Talk About It

I wake up to the obnoxious sound of my alarm…

"BZHZHZHZHZHZHZHZHZHZHZHZHZH…"

Everything seems quite fuzzy, the day before, finding out Levi’s name, reading how he died…that sucked. Coming home, seeing my sister, Mikasa thinking I was going crazy because I was talking to Levi, the ghost who I accidently brought back to my apartment…

…accidently brought back to my apartment… shit. I abruptly sit up in bed and run my hands through my hair, the brown ends sticking up in all manner of ways. I jump out of bed, still in my joggers and old t-shirt and run into the front room.

Where the fuck is my ghost?

"Levi?" I see a pale hand appear from the other side of the couch, so I walk over gingerly, still a bit foggy from sleep. I walk around to stand at the end and lean on the armrest, looking down at the still flawless dead guy lying there casually, one arm behind his head.

 _"Mornin’ kid, nice hair."_ I close my eyes for a second and try to tame my hair a bit, but I know it’s hopeless. My mind fills with images from yesterday, the words written down inside Levi’s file, the feeling when learning about his death, the look on his face when he told me to leave, and now… I open my eyes …the same guy tethered to the shiny badge now sitting on my side table. I make sure to keep my voice low.

"Okay, dead guy’s still in my apartment, now w-what, how does this work? A-are you gonna come to work with me!?" I gesture my arms open, a silent 'well!'

 _"Well, I’m sure as hell not staying here for the rest of eternity…"_ Levi stands up and takes in the rest of my appearance, then glances around the apartment. "... _but I don’t particularly want to go back to your precinct either."_ He crosses his arms and looks back at me.

"I think it would be best if you did come back… it was your precinct as well remember, there are people there who were probably your _friends_ …" I pause, this thought only just occurring to me as I voice it. Levi probably used to work with a lot of the people I do, including Erwin. "…If you spend more time around them, your memories might start coming back?" I shrug.

 _"First of all kid, you don’t have to whisper, your sister left at least half an hour ago. Mind you, that is something we need to work on, people are gonna start thinking you’re crazy if you keep talking to yourself."_ I give Levi a pointed look to stop avoiding my question. He sighs. " _F_ _ine, I’ll go with you, back to your shitty precinct."_

"Our precinct…" A flicker goes through Levi’s eyes as I correct him.

 _"It hasn’t been my precinct in a long while Eren."_  When he says it, it makes my stomach drop and I look away.

"Well, as long as you’re with me, it is…" He just sighs at this and raises an eyebrow, taking in my appearance one last time.

 _"Just go have a shower brat, and put on some fucking clothes before you’re late."_ So I do, smiling since I seem to have convinced Levi to come with me. I run back into my room, slamming the door behind me and jump into the shower.

Once I’m ready, I leave my room spotting Levi leaning against the kitchen counter, waiting by the side table where his badge sits. I imagine it’s probably the most frustrating feeling in the world, having an object determine where you can and where you can’t exist – and you can’t even touch it.

I walk over and shove my jacket on, flinging my bag over my shoulder and making sure Levi’s file is inside. I then go over to pick up his badge, I glance at him as I do, no emotions showing on his face.

"Technically, the fact you’re tethered to this is still just a theory, so this is our first test." I shove the badge in my back pocket.

_"What else could it have been?"_

"I don’t know, maybe your spirit just really missed me…?" I step up closer to him and smile, Levi’s face completely expressionless.

 _"Just walk out the fucking door Eren."_ …So I do, I walk outside and gesture for Levi to follow, and then I close the door behind us. We look at each other and start walking down the hallway.

Cool, so far so good.

"Nice, so we’ve pretty much got confirmation on that then…" We go down the stairs until we reach the ground floor, walking in a weirdly comfortable silence.

"Eren, good morning!" Levi and I turn around to see Mr Pixis standing by the mail… again.

"Good morning Mr Pixis…"

"Who’s your friend?" I turn to look at Levi and only just realise that… well yeah, ghosts can see each other too. I gesture to Levi beside me.

"Um, this is Levi, a friend…from, uh, from work." I smile and Pixis offers a hand out to Levi.

Can ghosts even touch each other?

Levi reaches out and accepts the gesture, both of them sharing a very formal introduction.

"Nice to meet you Levi." Levi nods in return. I look down at their joined hands and a small spark of jealously goes through my body...

…which is stupid, to be jealous of an old dead man…

They both step back and Levi and I make our way out the building, heading towards the high street. I shove my hands in my pockets and take in the world around me; it somehow looks different today, maybe because I have company?

 _"Well, he seems like an interesting man…"_ Levi looks over to me. " _…you talk to him every day?"_

"Pretty much, he’s the first ghost who actually tried to talk to _me_ …" I look over at Levi and notice a small scowl. "…why, you jealous?" I smile at him but Levi just rolls his eyes.

 _"Tch"_ That’s a yes " _How long exactly have you been seeing dead people Eren?"_

"Um…" I sigh. "…about three and a half weeks now…" I stop talking when a woman walks passed us with her child, I smile at them and she smiles back. Mikasa always said I had a certain charm about myself. I turn back to Levi and notice him looking at me, but he stops as soon as I catch his eye. "…uh, yeah, I was in a… pretty bad car accident during a case pursuit a few months ago and… I woke up two and a half months later with this…" I gesture to myself. Levi’s quiet when I finish and I wonder what’s going through his head.

We walk a bit further in silence, Levi not having said anything since I answered his question, face taking on a thoughtful expression. 

"Can I ask you a question?"

 _"Is it a personal question or a ghost question?"_ I have to think about that for a second.

"Both?" Levi looks at me then shrugs, a 'go ahead'.

"Whilst you were in the evidence room… I mean, you were in there for while right?" Levi nods, raising his eyebrows. "Did you like, know who I was before we met, properly, ‘cause I went in there a lot before so… you would have seen me right?" I glance over; slightly embarrassed for having asked the question, part of me hoping he _had_ noticed me before, and another part kinda hoping he hadn’t.

I’d done some pretty stupid stuff in that storage room... most of it Jean’s fault.

Levi answers after a thoughtful pause.

 _"Like I said before Eren, my time in there was pretty fragmented, I forgot things almost as soon as I’d taken them in because I had next to no contact with anybody… living."_ He looks over at me at that and I ignore the small pang of disappointment. _"I_ _didn’t know who you were when we met Eren, but…"_ Levi stops, clearly deciding he didn’t want to go on and shoves his hands into his pockets.

"That’s fair enough." I just chuckle lightly, ready to change the subject.

 

We reach the precinct building about fifteen minutes later and we head up in the elevator. As soon as I walk into the office everything feels normal. Connie and Sasha eating their breakfast over Jean’s desk, just to annoy him and Krista dropping off Ymir’s lunch before she heads off to her own department. I look over at Levi then rub the back of my neck.

"This is gonna be kinda weird isn’t it?"

 _"Gonna be weirder for me kid."_ I head over to my desk and drop my things onto the chair, Levi leaning against the other side.

"Yo, Jaeger…" I look up at Jean as Connie walks passed, nudging me with a hello. "…what’s with the year old case sitting on your desk?" I give him a confused expression then look down, spotting the Wall Rose box where I left it the night before.

Oh yeah… god that seems like a long time ago.

"It’s um… a new development in the Titan case that I’m working on." Jean raises an eyebrow but seems to go with it, and it wasn’t like it was a lie.

"Fair enough, you finish the Wielman report?" I take what he wants out my draw and lob it onto his desk, carefully avoiding his breakfast today. "Thanks… you alright, you seem a bit spaced?" I sigh.

 _"Yeah Eren, got a lot on your mind?"_ I glance over to glare at Levi then turn my attention back to Jean.

"I’m fine, just a lot to focus on right now…" Jean finishes going through the report I lobbed at him then passes it back.

"Eren!" I look up to see Erwin standing in the doorway of his office, uuuuugghh, not a good time Erwin.

"Sir?"

"My office…" He just lifts his hand, gesturing inside before going back himself.

"I have been summoned." I direct my words to Levi, subtly turning my head. I take his badge out of my pocket and lay it gently on the desk. "You wanna stay here?" Levi doesn’t answer but waves me off nonchalantly.

"Well, I wasn’t exactly planning on going with you… you’re a big boy now Eren." I look back down to Jean, slightly confused, then realise I’d asked the question too loudly, again. Sigh. Levi shakes his head slowly next to me, already exasperated by my ineptitude.

"Yeah, yeah, I know, I was just..." I give Jean a dismissive gesture; I don’t have time for this. "…forget it." I look back to Levi once more before leaving and notice him staring in the direction of Erwin’s office. I remember to whisper this time. "You alright?" His attention goes back to me, nodding.

Okay… cool?

I head off towards Erwin’s office and step inside before sparing one last glance to where I left Levi with Jean. God my life’s fucked up. I close the door behind me and give Erwin my undivided attention.

"Eren, please sit down…" I do "…I wanted to get a catch up on the Wielman case, have you finished the report I wanted by this week?" I nod "Good, Major Zachary is on my case regarding getting this out of the public eye as soon as possible. We need it be easy and clean."

"With all due respect _Sir_ , the guy was a huge asset and a major player in the county elections, there’s no way that can be _clean_. Plus we can’t afford whitewashing this; it could become a massive lead in…"

"Eren, I understand why you might feel inclined to follow this investigation through, but I am telling you to find a way to wrap it up, now. Sometimes things need to be swept under the rug for the good of the bigger picture." He gestures for me to leave. "Finish up any loose ends and get this case closed, also, remember your appointment with Hange has moved up to this morning so don’t be late." I stand to leave, my fists clenched, because this is total bullshit. I thought Erwin was a good man, and I still do, but the higher ups in this department have dirt all over their hands.

I’m about to leave the room when my mouth decides to go off on its own.

"Sir, was there a Levi Ackerman who worked here, some years ago now?" I don’t turn around at first, my hand still on the door handle. Erwin doesn’t answer for a moment so I think maybe either he doesn’t know or he’s just ignoring me.

"Where did you hear that name Jaeger?" My shoulders tense at the use of my last name because Erwin always calls me Eren, he believes the informality helps build trust. I gingerly turn back around and take in his face, but he’s looking back down at his desk, writing something down.

"I, um, read it somewhere, Sir, I was just curious…"

"I’d just focus on your work Eren and getting that Wielman case closed." I can tell that’s all I’m getting from this conversation so I walk out, closing the door behind me. I head back over to my desk and spot Levi reading over the notes Jean’s writing up for his domestic abuse case.

I walk around to my side, sinking into the chair and lay my head on the desk.

"So, how’d it go?"

"Total _bullshit_! That’s how it went…" I sense, rather than hear, Levi walk back around to my side and lean on the desk next to me. I lift my head back up and run my hand through my hair. "He wants us to wrap up the Wielman case before it can spread further into the public eye and cause more problems than we can solve them…" Jean leans forward, a disgusted look on his face.

"What!? He was a huge asset and high runner in the election next month…"

"Yeah, Jean, I know…" We both sit back in our chairs, reflecting on our life choices no doubt.

 _"Even the most noble of men have dirt on their hands, Eren."_ I look up at Levi whose face is as blank as always, but his eyes are following my own. " _Everyone’s got their orders."_ I nod, and my mind drifts back to Erwin’s response to Levi’s name.

Dude knows something…

I peer over to my computer and notice the bright yellow sticky note on the side of my monitor, pulling it off, I go to stand up. “HANGE 11PM BRING ALL THE GOSS’” I take in the scratchy handwriting and I can only assume they came down here and wrote it themselves. Hange isn’t a detective but as a psychologist they do a lot of work within the precinct. Plus I think they’re quite good friends with Erwin, which is slightly surreal.

Really can’t see that being a conventional party.

 _"You got an appointment?"_ Levi peers down at the sticky note in my hand.

"Yeah, I have to see a therapist as part of my recovery in accordance with me coming back to work." I immediately realise my mistake and point a finger at Jean before he has a chance to open his mouth. "But you already know that…!" I chuckle nervously. "…sometimes I just like to clarify my own circumstances, Jean. You know, just to make sure we’re all on the same page." Jean gives me a weird look but goes back to his work; I look over to Levi who rolls his eyes.

How do these people expect me to juggle the plains…?

I grab Levi’s badge, catching Jean follow it with his eyes as I put it in my pocket, a slightly confused expression on his face. I know he’ll just get use to my odd behaviour in no time, ‘cause that’s what partners do, they turn a blind eye to each other’s quirky, yet, mental instability suggestive actions.

If I wanna talk to myself, I’m gonna talk to myself.

"See ya later Jean…" I raise my hand in a half-hearted goodbye but I’m stopped when he stands from his desk.

"Whoa, whoa, Jaeger, did you write this?!" I walk over and glance at the piece of paper Jean holds up in the air, it was a typed up report with some notes written within the margins in red pen and perfect handwriting. I glance over to Levi.

"No sorry mate." I shrug and slap him on the shoulder as he turns the paper back around to look at it himself.

"Can’t believe I didn’t notice it before, of course her sister was involved…" Jean trails off, walking back to his desk.

Levi and I get into the elevator and as soon as the doors closed I spin around to face him.

"Did you write that!?"

 _"Kid was overlooking a key detail in that report case; it was just a push in the right direction…"_ He shrugs his shoulders and sighs when he sees the look on my face, turning to look at me properly. " _Okay, I’m sorry if I interfered too much with your equestrian partner…"_

No…

"No, Levi, I’m not mad you helped Jean do his fucking job… I j-just… you used a frickin’ pen Levi, how…I thought ghosts couldn’t pick up small objects…?" Levi’s face takes on a thoughtful expression.

 _"Don’t get me wrong Eren, it wasn’t bloody easy to do, that’s why it was so poorly written…"_  Levi folds his arms and turns back to face the elevator doors.

"First of all… poorly written? Dude, that handwriting was immaculate and you know it!" I point a finger at him. "…and it doesn’t make any sense, yesterday it took you all day to move _a box_ , now you’re writing frickin’ calligraphy?!" Levi just shrugs again and we both go quiet after that, thinking about what it could mean.

The elevator doors open up to the seventh floor, the 'ding' taking both of us out of our thoughtful funks and I lead us down the first corridor.

_"So, therapist huh?"_

"Yep…" I look over to Levi. "They’re great; I think you’ll get on _really_ well." I smile, a knowing smile, Levi just raises an eyebrow.

 _"Has it got anything to do with you talking to yourself all the time?"_ We stop outside Hange’s office.

"Amongst _other_ things…" We both look at the door.

 _"Is it_ a _good idea for me to go in there with you, wouldn’t it just make it worse?"_

"Um, nah…" I look at him again and smile once more. "… I think it’ll be a healthy session."

 

A second after I knock on the door it flings open, Hange pulling me into a massive hug.

"Hey Hange." I keep my arms by my sides and wait for the hug to end, glancing back to Levi who just looks bored. They eventually release me and hold the door open for me to come inside.

"It’s so lovely to see you Eren, as always…" They go to close the door but I quickly grab it so Levi can walk inside without having it thrown back in his face. I mean, I imagine it would just go right through him, but I’m sure it’s not a particularly pleasant experience. Hange looks at me, a confused expression on their face. I just smile and promptly release the door when I see Levi walk through.

_"Thanks kid"_

"No problem…" Shit "…uh, um, I mean, no problems to talk about today..." I step back from Hange and take a seat on the sofa, opposite their chair. Levi sits down beside me and I rake my eyes over him quickly, his presence filling me with a strange sense of calm when I know he’s there.

I look up at Hange and notice their face is back to their iconic manic smile, looking over me like they’re waiting for me to do something exciting.

Well, I’m sorry to disappoint you Hange, but I am but your average youth who talks to ghosts.

"Soooo…" I clap my hands together awkwardly, not really sure what to say, this seems to bring Hange out of their awe like trance.

"Yes, Eren, shall we begin! How have you been?"

"Um, the same I guess…" They nod their head.

"Uh huh…" They look down at their notes. "…last week we had a more in depth discussion about your accident, did you want to carry on from…"

"No!" I lift my head up, inwardly cringing when I raise my voice. "No, lets… talk about something else…" For some reason I didn’t want to talk about my accident in front of Levi.

"Okay, that’s fine, why don’t you tell _me_ what you want to talk about?" I close my eyes and a million things run through my head, things I want to talk about but, I don’t feel like I can. I take a deep breath and rub my eyes with the palm of my hands. When I exhale it comes out jagged, the tiniest expression of the ball of stress that resides inside my body.

God, I’m so tired...

 _"Hey, kid, you alright?"_  I sense Levi lean forward to look at me, Hange still waiting for me to answer her question.

"Yeah, I, uh… I just need a minute…" And a really long fucking nap.

"That’s fine Eren, take your time." Hange responds, no idea that I was actually answering Levi’s question. I suddenly feel a coldness spread through my left arm and I look up to see Levi closer, a pinch of concern flickering through his eyes.

 _"I can leave if it makes it easier…?"_ I sit straight up at that, feeling Levi’s badge in my pocket.

"No! No… you don’t need to leave…" I look up at him and see his eyes travel across the room to Hange, clearly concerned by my obvious outburst directed at him, and not the other living person in the room. I lean back in my seat again, Levi moving back to where he sat before and I look over at Hange.

"Eren?" They lean forward and say my name quietly, their eyes slowly looking over to the spot next to me where Levi sat. "Who are you talking to Eren?" Hange’s voice was genuine, not at all condescending like you’d expect of someone who’s questioning your imaginary friend.

"..." I look over to Levi who just shrugs and looks over to Hange, his face taking on an expression I didn’t recognise. "Levi…?" As soon as I say his name, the expression’s gone and he looks back at me.

"Eren?" Hange’s voice has gone up a notch, no longer just the curious nature of a therapist. "Who are you talking to Eren, w-who’s Levi?"

"Um…"

"Is Levi a _ghost_ Eren?" I look down and run a hand over my face.

 _"You told your therapist you could see dead people, are you trying to get locked away!?"_  I turn my head to Levi again and lift my hands up, exasperated.

"Well I had to tell somebody, it was driving me crazy!"

_"Well maybe you are crazy!"_

"Hange’s fine! They’re not gonna tell anyone if I didn’t want them too, I have it under control Levi!"

 _"You have it under control!? You're sitting in front of your therapist arguing with a fucking invisible person, what part of that exactly, brat, is under control!?"_  What Levi says seems to take us out of our little spat and we both turn to look at Hange who’s gone quite pale.

"Sorry Hange, I swear, I know how this must look…"

"No no no, Eren i-its… I think this is very healthy to get out in the open…"

 _"What part of this, pray tell, is healthy shitty glasses!?"_ I turn my head back to Levi.

"They can’t _hear_ you Levi!"

_"Yeah, I know, why don’t you pass on the message then!?"_

"I’m not talking to my therapist like that!"

"Eren?" I sigh and then turn back to Hange. "Can I interrupt?" They’re still smiling although you can tell they’ve taken on a slightly more cautious tone. "I have to say you’re not usually so animated in our sessions…" I close my eyes.

"Sorry, he’s just a bit… difficult, sometimes…"

_"Well you didn’t have to bring me with you, brat!"_

"I wasn’t just gonna leave you somewhere!!" I lift my hands up defensively. 

"Eren, Eren… just..." Hange raises their hands at me, and then looks over to where Levi is sat. "…Levi, perhaps we should all just have a discussion about this together?"

 _"They don’t genuinely believe you're actually talking to somebody do they?"_  Levi looks slightly taken aback.

"Well I am!"

_"That’s beside the point brat, only a crazy person would go along with whatever bullshit we’ve got going on…"_

"They’re trying to help Levi, just go with it!"

"What is he saying Eren?" I look over to Hange once more and take in their now very excited expression.

"He thinks this is a waste of time and the fact you’re going along with it is ridiculous…" I turn back to Levi. "And would you stop calling me 'brat', I have a name and I know for a fact you like using it!"

_"Fuck you Eren."_

"Well fuck you too Levi!" We both face forwards then, crossing our arms. I can only imagine what we must look like to Hange, but I really didn’t have it in me to care right now.

We sit in silence for a few minutes until Hange finally writes a few notes down, then puts their hands together.

"Okay, now, I feel like a lot has been said, and that’s good, um…" Hange puts their notebook down and they look quite unsure about what they’re about to ask. "Eren? D-do you think you could tell me a bit about Levi?" Said ghost glances over to me, arms still crossed.

"I mean… he’s kinda grumpy and acts like a _dick_ most of the time…" I look over at him and notice the deadpan expression covering his face that says 'you think I give a shit what you think about me brat?' Hange leans back in their chair.

"And Levi… do you have anything to say to that?"

 _"Seriously…?"_ Levi sighs then rolls his eyes, resignation setting in. " _Well, okay, for starters, I’ve been dead for over five years and living in a_ fucking _store room, then along comes this kid, I discover my name again for the first time since I seemingly bled to death in a_ fucking _alley way."_ Levi looks over at me then. " _I haven’t been able to have a_ fucking _cigarette for over five years, have you ever experienced that kind of cold turkey Eren, no? Well you’d be grumpy too if you had to go through that shit…"_  He turns back to Hange. " _… and now I’m sitting here explaining about the existential fuck-up that is my existence to some shitty glasses who can’t even hear what I’m saying…"_ Eyes back on me. " _…and no_ fucking _paraphrasing kid, pass on the message."_  

I’m quiet for a moment, knowing Hange’s waiting for me to say something, or tell them what Levi told me to tell them. My voice goes quiet.

"Sorry…" Levi sighs.

_"Its fine Eren, that did actually make me feel marginally better…"_

"If it’s any consolation your dickish behaviour can be quite endearing..." I smile at Levi, catching a smirk before he promptly makes it disappear.

 _"And I find your brattish behaviour to be quite endearing… sometimes."_  I chuckle outright at Levi’s response and take it as a win. Leaning back in the chair, I sigh.

"Yeah, most people do… but you’re still lucky you’re pretty." I laugh as he shakes his head.

 _"Don’t push it, kid…"_ We both look forward, back at Hange who amazingly managed to sit through the whole thing in silence.

"…Well… I’m not sure what just happened, but, I _think_ progress was just made…?" I look down, smiling and nod my head. "Eren, before all of this…I, uh…I have to say today’s session has been quite eye opening. Where exactly did you meet Levi?" I look up thoughtfully before I answer.

"Here, at the precinct..." Hange nods at my answer.

"And what d-does he look like?" They lean forwards on the edge of their chair. I glance briefly to Levi then back again.

"Um… he’s kinda short..."

 _"Watch it…!"_ I raise my hands defensively.

"I’m just answering the question!" Hange chuckles at this. "He, uh, has dark hair, cut into an undercut…" I rub the back of my neck, quite embarrassed at having to describe Levi when he’s sitting right here. "…he's got a nice face I guess…"

_"Gee, thanks Eren..."_

"Shut up!"

"And what did he call me?" I look back to Hange.

"Um, I… don’t remember…"

_"Shitty glasses..."_

"I don’t wanna tell them that!"

_"Why not, you’ve called me a dick at least twice today!"_

"Yeah well that’s different…"

_"How…?"_

"Well, because you _are_ a dick!"

"Eren!?" Hange raises her voice to get my attention, taking me out of my seemingly one sided argument.

"What!? Hange! Shitty glasses, he called you shitty glasses, and I apologise on his behalf!"

_"Don’t apologise on my behalf!"_

"Well too bad shorty!"

_"I swear to God Eren!"_

"What you gonna do Levi, make me feel cold!?"

"Eren! Levi!" Levi and I both turn back to stare at Hange, their eyes clouded over and the pen in their hands shaking. "You really haven’t changed after all this time, have you Levi…?"

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for your continued reading, I LOVE reading your comments so much! As long as I know you're enjoying it, I'll continue writing, promise <3333
> 
> Tumblr in case anyone has any questions about the fic - jovialjellyfishreaper


	4. A Friend Forgotten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter continues on from last...

Hange knew him…

"You…y-you knew Levi, when he was alive…?" Hange’s eyes glass over until they wipe the threatened tears away from under their glasses.

"Yeah…yes, I did, we were very good friends, well, Levi may have argued with me on that but…yeah..." I look over to Levi whose gone quiet, his eyes slightly widened when he looks at me. I’m about to say something when Hange continues. "Does he… remember me?" The look on their face is full of hope and I hate that I’m about to break that.

I glance over to Levi again and he’s looking down, almost as if he feels guilty. I want so badly to be able to do something to help, even if it was just a comforting hand…

But I can’t even do that…

"Levi doesn’t remember a lot at the moment… when we met a couple days ago, he didn’t even remember his name…" A sliver of disappointment crosses Hange’s face but they quickly compose themselves.

"Okay, well, how did you help him remember _that_?"  I turn to Levi again and he immediately looks away in the other direction.

"We found his file in the released and deceased box in the evidence store room, we figured he must be tide to something in there so… it made sense that he worked in the precinct I suppose..." I shrug my shoulders, finding having to explain this to another person very strange. Hange nods in understanding.

"Well! I guess we’ll just have to help him remember everything else, won’t we!" They smile at that, picking up their notebook to jot something down. I find their enthusiasm regarding the situation very comforting, but I still get the sense Hange’s hiding and holding a lot back.

Heck, they just found out their dead friend’s been stuck roaming the same precinct for the past five years.

 _"Sorry…"_ Levi says it so quietly and I glance over, catching the flicker of emotion go through his eyes, the rest of his face still void of any expression, except if you count the subtle clenching of his jaw. " _Please tell them I’m sorry…"_ I nod and have to fight back the urge to reach out to him again. I turn back to Hange.

"He, uh… says he’s sorry, that he can’t remember you." Hange’s excitement from their previous exclamation dissipates and turns back to glassy eyes, a sad smile taking over.

"I know..." They say it quietly as well, the atmosphere in the office feeling as if it gets thicker. "But it’s not Levi’s fault, I just want to help him…" I smile at them then turn back to Levi, whose now staring at Hange.

 _"I thought I recognised them when we first came in, but… it seemed stupid…"_ I think back to the emotion that flickered across Levi’s face earlier in the session.

Maybe he did recognise them.

"I think all of your memories are still there, just sitting under the surface. We…" I gesture to Hange. "…just need to figure out what could trigger them." Hange nods enthusiastically, agreeing with my hypothesis.

"I’m sure it won’t be too difficult Levi!" Levi looks at us both, his face reverting back to his usual bored expression, and suddenly everything seems right in the world.

_"Okay…"_

"Okay!" I smile at him, his eyes catching my own.

"Okay." Hange joins in, everyone now seemingly on the same page.

So where the hell do we go from here?

"I suppose first of all…" Levi and I both turn our attention to Hange. "… it would probably be a good idea for you to help me understand a lot of this Eren, like for example…um, the e-extent of what Levi can do, what he _does_ know… that kind thing." Sounds like a good idea.

"Yeah, that sounds like a good plan, uhhh…" I have to think for a moment, gathering my thoughts over the last two days. "Well, so far Levi seems to know two things, his name, and the fact he was a detective. Heck, when we met he was already in detective mode… and he was kinda rude." I frown, thinking back on our first encounter.

 _"I wasn’t_ that _rude."_ Levi crosses his arms in an almost childlike gesture.

"You insulted my tie…!"

 _"That’s because it was a stupid tie…"_ Levi looks at me _. "…and I was slightly taken aback since you were the first living breathing person I’d spoken to in five years… give a guy a break Eren!"_

"So what, you’re telling me your social skills were just a bit rusty?" I raise an eyebrow and hear Hange chuckle in front of us.

"Oh, Levi _never_ had any social skills!" Levi scowls at them then turns back to me.

 _"Just keep fucking talking Eren."_ So I do, trying to think of anything that could be useful.

"Okay, yeah so… after we found Levi’s file, his name and stuff, we found out he’d been stuck in the evidence room for nearly five years..."

"What!? The one in the precinct!?" I nod and Hange’s face seems sad for a moment. "I go in there all the time…" And I know exactly what they’re thinking.

"Yeah, I know but… Levi didn’t really acknowledge things all that well when people just came and went. It’s almost like when a ghost has so little contact with the living, they begin to cease to exist themselves. That’s why Levi’s memory has deteriorated so drastically. I wondered if he recognised me before we met but …nothing..." I shrug it off like it was no big deal. 

"Interesting…" Yeah that’s one way of putting it. "Has he changed at all due to his time spent with you, do you think?" My eyes travel over to Levi and I take in his overall appearance.  Thinking back to when I first met him, he does almost appear more…there. As if this weird transparent covering had disappeared. His hair was darker, his features sharper and his eyes… Levi looks over to me and I catch the swirling colours in his stare. What were once just dark pools of grey now hold splashes of blue.

The deepest and most beautiful blue…

"Eren?"

"Oh, uhh, yeah…" I rub the back of my neck, a nervous habit it would seem. "… I think maybe he has become a bit more… solid, like they feed off the other person’s energy." Hange keeps nodding, a very excited expression filling their face. Levi’s still very quiet next to me and I imagine it’s quite weird having two people discuss you so vividly when you’re sitting right there.

Well, kind of…there.

"What about interaction, can he interact with things?" Hange leans forwards.

"Not particularly well…" My mind goes back to when Levi first tried to explain this to me. "…they can touch large physical objects like furniture." I gesture to Levi beside me, sitting on the couch. "But smaller things are harder, I’ve seen evidence of Levi move a box… and he wrote with a frickin’ pen this morning…!" My voice gets slightly higher as I recall the earlier discovery and I turn to Levi who still looks bored. "…Which you never really explained how you managed to do by the way?!" He just shrugs.

_"Like I’ve said before Eren, I don’t know how or why my body does what it does…"_

"You’ve never managed something like this before, Levi?" Hange looks over to where they assume Levi is sitting and he turns to looks at them.

 _"No."_  I shake my head to pass on Levi’s answer to Hange.

"What were you thinking about when you wrote it, w-what were you using, oh, and what were you actually writing!?" Hange poises their pen, ready to scribble down Levi’s answers.

 _"What difference does it make shitty glasses; I just used a fucking pen…?"_ Levi keeps his arms crossed but shrugs at Hange’s flurry of questions.

I paraphrase…

"He says he just used a normal pen and I saw what he wrote, it was just some notes on the side of Jean’s report write up."

"Hmmm…" Hange holds their chin in their free hand. "But what were you _feeling_ ; perhaps emotions could play a big part in it… on TV when a ghost gets angry they make quite a mess?" Levi’s expression goes slightly darker at having been compared to some…

_"Media bullshit! Why would my emotions have any effect on picking up a fucking pen shitty glasses!?"_

I’m starting to feel like I’m just here to sensor the conversation….

"Levi isn’t… _convinced_ how his emotions could affect his ability to interact with physical objects." I glance over at Levi and see he’s not as pleased with my censorship as I imagine Hange would be if they knew.

"Well, because what we’ve seen so far suggests energy plays a major role in determining what and how you are perceived. A person’s emotions could certainly affect that energy, if you were to feel very strong feelings such as… anger, despair…love…" Hange shrugs. "… it would make sense that this would transfer to your overall body’s capabilities and interaction with the physical world."

Yeah, that did make sense. I turn to Levi, raising my eyebrows.

"Well?" Levi sighs.

_"I don’t know what I was feeling! I’m dead Eren, most of my internal thoughts just consist of 'oh great, another day in fucking purgatory'!"_

"He doesn’t know Hange…"

"Did you notice anything different about Levi when it occurred?"

"No, I wasn’t even in the room; I was in Erwin’s office." Hange’s face takes on a strange realisation all of a sudden and they go to write something down. Levi and I glance at each other then back to my scribbling therapist.

"What diff…" There’s suddenly a tentative knock at the door, making all of us freeze.

"Yes!?" Hange looks up towards the door and a head slowly appears from the other side.

"Mz Zoe, your twelve o’clock is here."

"Thank you Moblit, um…five more minutes!" The quiet man smiles and closes the door again, Levi and I seemingly releasing a breath at the same time.

"Okay, so… there is so much more to cover, I wanted to ask, what about people, can Levi touch other living human beings?"

"No…" Part of me wonders if I answered the question a little too quickly, but I keep going. "No ghosts can, it just kinda feels like a coldness that spreads though wherever they _try_ to touch you." Hange seems fascinated by my answer and I turn to Levi, gesturing in Hange’s direction.

_"What?"_

"Go show them, it’s probably the closest we can give them to evidence that you’re actually _here."_ Levi sighs, rolling his eyes but swiftly stands. I watch him walk towards his friend, a confidence you wouldn’t think possible in a dead guy.

" _What exactly should I do?"_ Levi turns back to me and I take in Hange's look of pure anticipation.

"I don’t know just… pat them on the shoulder?" So he does, Hange’s face displaying the shiver that runs through their body.

"That’s amazing!" Hange stands up, their eyes wide.

 _"It’s really not that amazing; I have the equivalent affect to an open window..."_  Levi’s voice sounds very unimpressed and it makes me chuckle.

"And what a wonderful open window you are." I smile at Levi as he turns around to scowl.

God, I’m starting I love that scowl…

Hange’s excitement dissolves into confusion and another knock comes at the door.

"One minute Moblit, they can bloody wait!" Hange turns to me as I get ready to leave. "Eren! There’s so much more to discuss, how about I pop over this evening..."

"To my home?"

"...Yes! I hope that’s okay!"

"...Well…"

"...Good! Very excited to discover more about the ghost plain..." Hange smiles at me and starts to usher me out of the room. "Oh! Wait, I have one more question!"

 _"Oh for fuck sake…"_  Levi mutters it under his breath and we stop to turn back around, both of us equally ready to leave.

"What is it Hange?"

"How did you get Levi out of the evidence room?" That’s a good question and one I’m surprised we hadn’t actually covered.

"Well actually, that was kind of an accident…" I take Levi’s badge out of my pocket and show it to Hange. "…but we discovered that he seems to be tethered to this." Hange reaches out to take the badge but I quickly pull it away.

Not because I don’t trust them, but because… well, I don’t really know.

"Sorry, but that is _fascinating_ , makes sense too, Levi was practically married to the job."

"That’s okay, i-it’s not that I don’t trust you it’s just…"

"An important object, I get it!" Hange smiles at me and glances to where Levi’s stood beside me, I didn’t tell them where he stood, so maybe they can sense him in a way.

Perhaps Levi’s _here_ , more than we originally thought…

"I think, even in death you will be good for him Eren, good for each other…" Hange turns back to grab the door handle before glancing back to Levi one last time, to them, an empty space. "…Keep an eye on him though Levi; he has a habit of pushing himself." He actually nods his head slightly, glancing over to me and with that, we leave the office.

 

We head back to the precinct and I crash into my chair, Levi standing in his spot beside me, leaning on the desk. The last hour seems like a blur, the fact Hange believed us, the fact I have someone I know I can really talk to now. My thoughts drift to what Hange was saying about before, with Levi’s emotions affecting his abilities.

Why would _me_ going to speak with _Erwin,_ make Levi able to pick up a fucking pen?

Why is that a question I even have to ask myself?

"So, you have a good session with Hange? You get all your crazy out, I hope?" I’m taken out of my thoughts by Jean’s obnoxious questions. I lift my head up and gesture around the precinct lazily.

I’m so tired...

"I don’t know Jean; I think I may have brought a lot of the crazy _back_ _with me…"_ I drop my head back and peer up at Levi who glances down, scowling…again.

"Shame…" Jean turns back to his computer so I pull out the Wall Rose box, ready to start writing up the new Titan case report. "Oh wait…" Jean leans down and pulls something out of his top draw. "I was gonna return this back later today, but I thought I’d check with you in case you wanted to look at it again, before I do?" I look up just in time to catch the file he flings in my direction.

"The Magnolia case?" I sigh. "I didn’t really find any…" I stop for a moment and glance over to Levi, wouldn’t hurt to have another pair of eyes take a look at it. "…um, yeah actually would it be okay if I _did_ take another look?" Jean shrugs and nods, giving me the go ahead. Levi seems to have picked up on what I want him to do and turns around to face the desk, now leaning against the filing cabinets to the right of my cubicle. I place the file down and open it to the first page.

 _"Hit and run, Isabelle Magnolia, eight years old… this happen a couple weeks ago?"_  Levi peers down at me and I nod my head, trying to look as if I’m still absorbed in my own work. I can still feel his eyes on me as he asks his next question? " _You spoken to her?"_   I nod my head again, my jaw clenching ever so slightly. " _You’ve read over the report and can’t figure out why she’s still here, where is she now, home?"_  I shake my head. " _Scene of the accident?"_  I raise my eyebrows and nod my head to the side _. "Close enough then… an eight year old girl, killed by hit and run and stuck forever roaming the side of the road until she inevitably becomes like… me, I guess."_ Levi sighs _. "And I suppose Eren Jaeger has promised the poor eight year old girl he’d figure out how to get her home, am I right?"_ Levi looks over to me again, expression clearly unimpressed. I shrug my shoulders, feeling the world perched precariously upon them. " _Hange’s right, you do push yourself too much…Okay kid, I’ll read it over, turn when I say so."_

So we settle into a pretty good system, me typing up my own work and turning over the page of the Magnolia file when I’m told to. I read over my last paragraph, trying to piece together the connections for the three separate Titan homicide scenes.

 _"Page..."_ Levi’s bored tone cuts through my own writing.

I turn the page.

I’m about half way through my report when my phone goes off; I swiftly take it out of my pocket and look at the picture popping up on the front -a blonde melon head, staring suspiciously into the camera whilst drinking a massive milkshake.

I remember when my life was just milkshakes and chill, no ghosts, no death, no car accidents and no grumpy hot ghosts invading my every other thought. I answer the phone.

"Yo Armin, what’s up?"

**"Hey Eren! You busy, I was just calling to say we need to meet up sometime soon…"**

_"Page"_

I turn the page

**"…we haven’t had a proper catch up since… well, you know, I think it would be nice!"**

"Yeah, definitely Armin, I’m sorry, I should have gotten in touch sooner but… a lot of shits been going on."

**"Don’t worry about it Eren, works been pretty hectic down here anyway, higher ups have been on my back non-stop regarding the blood splatter for the Wielman case. I think they’re gonna try cover a lot of it up you know…"**

"Yeah, Armin, I know…"

**"Anyway though, you free tomorrow, lunch?"**

"Um…" Can I bring my ghost? "Sure, tomorrow lunch, sounds good."

**"Awesome, I’ll see you then Eren, shall we say twelve thirty outside Maria?"**

"Sounds good, see you then Armin?" I hang up the phone and sigh.

 _"Page"_ I turn the page. " _You got a hot date tomorrow?"_ I roll my eyes up at Levi and keep my voice low, swivelling my chair subtly to face him.

"My friend Armin, I haven’t seen him properly since before the accident so I couldn’t just blow him off. You find anything?" I gesture my hand over the file.

 _"It’s all pretty tidy Eren, the guy was caught, prosecuted, dealt with…"_  Levi shrugs. " _I don’t see how there could be anything more to it."_ I lean back in my chair and run my hand over my face _. "The area though…"_

"What about it!?"

 _"… just … something familiar about it."_  Levi frowns down at the paper in front of us.

"Maybe you did a lot of work around those parts; it’s a pretty rough area so..." I let the sentence fade off.  "Mind you, maybe you knew something… maybe….maybe the reason she’s here has nothing to do with _how_ she died at all?" I look back up at Levi who crosses his arms. "We need to figure out…"

"Eren, you alright?" Jean’s voice makes me sit up straight and I peer around my monitor.

"Yes Jean, I’m fine, are _you_ alright?" I try to keep my voice nonchalant but going by the look on Jeans face, I wasn’t particularly successful. I hear Levi chuckle next to me and I just know he’s shaking his head at me.

"I, w-well yeah, I’m not the one muttering to myself Jaeger!" Jean looks down at the files on my desk. "And since when were you such a multitasker?"

"I have always been a good multitasker _Jean,_ I’ll have you know, _plus…"_  I lean forwards across my desk, making sure I don’t lose eye contact with him. "…you ever think maybe I talk to myself, because sometimes I actually want some decent conversation." I raise my eyebrows in a 'you ever think about that?' I sit down in my chair and smile up at Levi.

 _"Burn"_ His tone suggests he doesn’t think much of my come back.

"Whatever you say Eren, in all seriousness though, you look fucking knackered – maybe you should take a half day or something?"

"I appreciate the concern Jean but I’m..."

 _"He is right Eren, maybe you should slow down…"_ I raise my hands up defensively.

"What is this, gang up on Eren day?! Like I said I-am-fine!"

"Eren I’m just trying to look out for you, you’re running yourself kinda dry lately and you’re hardly a month out the hospital!" I’m annoyed because I know he’s right.

"Sorry Jean, I’m just stressed…I’ll get these last few bits done and I’ll go home." He nods, both of us coming to a compromise for my well-being.

Why am I even compromising for my _own_ well-being, I probably _should_ take a half day… sleep for a year, then move to Mexico, live on a beach, drinking Pina coladas and never return.

"I’m just gonna head to the evidence room…" I stand up and side glance to Levi, gesturing for him to follow, Jean nodding as I leave. As soon as we’re alone in the store room I release a breath.

 _"And why are we back in this god forsaken fucking room?"_  I turn to Levi and run a hand through my hair.

"It’s just so we could have a conversation without my partner thinking I’m going crazy. As we were saying, before we were so rudely interrupted, if we figure out why you found the area of the Magnolia family familiar, it might give us more of a lead…"

_"And how are we gonna figure that out? My file didn’t say anything about it…"_

"No, but that was your release and decease file, it only covered your general info and the reason for leave. What we need to look at are your private records. As a detective of the precinct it would lie with the Captain to keep track of that. It’s only been five years so it would make sense that you’re still very much in the system…"

 _"Makes sense, how you gonna get that though, your Captain…_ Erwin _, isn’t just gonna give out people’s private information."_

"We’ll just have to cause a distraction." I smile at Levi and know he’s _so_ not game.

_"Seriously, a distraction, and who’s gonna…"_

"Eren, what you doin' in here? And who you talkin’ to?" I spin around to see Sasha, snacking on a snickers and looking up at the evidence boxes. I turn back to Levi and raise my eyebrows, a plan flawlessly falling into place.

"Sasha, how would you like to earn a little food for your good services?" Her face lights up and, oh, I know _she’s_ game.

 

I wait outside Erwin’s office, just out of view of the door and watch Sasha knock, waiting to be invited inside. As soon as Erwin calls her in, I hear her shrill voice bullshitting some excuse to get the Captain to leave. Even though the conversation is muffled, I can tell it’s going along in our favour.

"…and then… I told them to stop… could get hurt!"

"…God sake… act like children…!"

I quickly duck behind the wall when the door swings back open, Erwin leaving his office with Sasha on his tail. She spins around, giving me a thumbs up and I immediately sneak into the now empty room. Closing the door behind me, I peer at Levi who’s also taking in the meticulously furnished surroundings.

"Soooo, where the hell do we look first?" I trace my eyes over the arrangement of filing cabinets.

 _"Just check as many as you can, we don’t know how much time we have."_  I crouch down and start flinging draws open, flicking through files as fast as I can. Nope.

Next draw… Nope….

Next draw… Nope…

I’ve checked nearly all the most obvious locations when I get to the bottom of a very boring looking metal system. I go to yank it open, my nerves increasing since we’ve already been in here longer than I’d planned.

It doesn’t budge and I look up at Levi.

"This one’s locked…" I keep my voice low.

 _"That’s a good sign."_ I scowl at him.

"Are you being sarcastic, because I really can’t tell anymore…!"

 _"No, Eren, if personal records are gonna be anywhere, of course they’re gonna be in the_ locked _draw!"_ He gestures lazily towards the cabinet. " _You’re just gonna have to pick it…"_

"Pick it?! I don’t know how to pick a lock!"

 _"Seriously!? What kind of a detective can’t pick a lock?"_  I stare up at Levi incredulously.

"Um… a law abiding one!" He sighs at that and glances around the room.

_"Just find a couple paper clips or something and I’ll talk you through it…"_

"What kind of detective _were you_ …?"

 _"Just do it Eren!"_  I get up and start frantically rummaging through Erwin’s desk until I spot a couple paperclips, keeping a stack of, what look like, fairly important papers together – but I need them so, sorry Erwin! I grab the paper clips and crouch back down to the cabinet, Levi doing the same beside me.

 _"Bend them out straight and follow my instructions…"_  I nod and do as he says.

It takes a few minutes but I manage to get inside thanks to Levi’s useful, yet somewhat questionable, talent in explaining the art of lock picking. There’s no  'Ackerman' at the beginning so I have to hope he’s gotten mixed up in between. I start going through the files inside, spotting names I recognise as I go, 'Blouse', 'Kirstein', ' _Jaeger'_ … I’m only a couple away from the back when a file catches my attention, one much thinner than the others. I lift it up and notice half of the front profile peeled off, but not enough for me to mistaken that dark hair and those piercing eyes.

"I think this is yours…" I take it out of the draw and open it up, a large tear going down the middle where a large portion of the pages have been ripped out. I look up, catching Levi’s eye. "Something about this isn’t right Levi…"

"WHOOO, WHOSE UP FOR SOME MR MADERA’S PIZZAAAA!?" Shit, that’s Sasha’s signal for when Erwin’s on his way back.

"We gotta get out of here!" I quickly shut the cabinet, no time to relock it and jump up, Levi’s file still in my hand. We both leave the office, gently shutting the door behind us. I walk over to my desk and set the file down, smiling at Jean like I didn’t just break into our superior’s office and go through everyone’s private records. I watch Erwin return to his office from the corner of my eye, Levi staying quiet by my side. Jean stands up from his desk opposite and goes to put his coat on.

"You coming for pizza Eren?"

"Uh, nah, not today Jean, I’m just gonna get this last thing done then head off home…"

"Cool, see ya later Jaeger." He looks like he wants to say something else but seems to decide against it, waving as he walks towards the elevator.

"Later Horseface!" I receive an obscene gesture in return before the elevator doors close. I sigh and relax a little, most people having left the office. I look down and open up Levi’s file, or what’s left of it.

 _"Why would someone try cover up that I worked here?"_ I peer up at Levi.

"Is that what you think’s going on?" He just shrugs.

 _"Why else would most of my information be hidden, why else would people who work in the same precinct that I evidently worked in for nine years not have heard of me, not once… why would I still be fucking stuck here if shady shit hadn’t gone down!"_ Well, I’m glad I'm not the only one thinking along those lines.

"No, I agree, something doesn’t sit right about any of this at all, I asked Erwin about you this morning and he started acting quite strange about it…" I look up at Levi and notice a dark expression cross his stoic face. "But we’re gonna figure it out… whatever it is." His sharp blue eyes find mine and my pulse quickens…

I look back down, focusing on what we’ve accomplished, glancing over the little information inside the manila folder. It covers Levi’s general info, like the file before, name, age…. Yadda yadda yadda…. early life? I start reading over Levi’s life leading up to his recruitment and his previous home address causes this high pitched noise to come out my throat. I turn to Levi, his thin eyebrow raised at my reaction.

"You grew up there! That’s why it’s familiar Levi!" I slide the file across and see Levi’s long, pale fingers rest gingerly on the desk. I look up and see his eyes moving backwards and forwards, reading the paragraphs telling him of his past. He nods his head slowly. "Do you… remember any of this?" I notice he’s reading on and his jaw clenches ever so slightly, eye’s glazing over. I reach over to brush his hand but a chill just runs down my arm. "Levi?"

 _"Yeah… I remember, growing up there…"_  His eyes go back to their usual sharp gaze, any sign of emotion gone. The fact he remembered so quickly is a good sign, his memories really must be just below the surface.

"Okay, well that’s awesome! We can go down that way and see what we can find, maybe even visit the Magnolia’s…" I sense Levi’s body tense up beside me, his fists clenching from the corner of my eye. I look up at him. "Or… we don’t have to Levi, w-we can do it another way, I won’t make you go down there if you don’t…"

 _"Its fine Eren… it’s a good idea."_ I catch his eye. " _You should go talk to the parents, a lot of kids down that way don’t always grow up in the most… affectionate of households…"_

So it was a plan, tomorrow we would go visit the Magnolia’s.

 

I pack up the couple of files I wanted to take home, i.e. Levi’s and Isabelle’s, and we head down in the elevator, Levi quiet beside me. I didn’t read any more of Levi’s file since it seemed slightly intrusive, I was taking it home in hope that he could read it through later, perhaps remember a bit more about himself. My mind is whirling around, thoughts on why someone would want to keep the memory of Levi buried. Hange obviously remembers him so we need to see what they know about the events of his death, and I know Erwin knows something, does he remember Levi… him and Hange are friends so it would make sense that him and Levi were friends…?

For some reason this thought makes me angry…

 _"What are you so pissed about kid…?"_ Levi glances over to me, his arms crossed and tone bored.

"Nothing, I j-just… you’re the one who should be pissed; it’s got to be a hell of a lot to take in today?" I turn towards him but he just remains looking forwards, merely shrugging at my concern. "Okay… did you wanna talk about any of it…because I’d be happy to…"

 _"No, Eren, I don’t want to talk about it…"_ Levi’s voice comes out flat and I have to push away the sinking feeling it sent to my stomach. I imagine the guy’s angry, and he should be. You discover your death and your whole service to the force has been covered up for some unknown reason, people walking around like you never existed… it’s got to hurt, right?

"Sorry, it’s just… if you wanted to…"

"…"

"I don’t think anyone should keep this kind of stuff to themse--"

 _"Fine! Eren! You want me to fucking talk to you, yeah…"_ Levi finally turns to look at me _. "… it’s a lot to take in and I have all these shitty memories coming back to me, a shitty childhood in a shitty neighbourhood that seemingly led to a shitty career in a shitty precinct which evidently ended in a shitty death dedicated to a shitty cause… Now I’m dead and stuck with some shitty kid in a shitty situation which I can’t get out of because some shiny bullshit representation of my previous life won’t let me go…"_  I consciously feel the badge in my back pocket.

_"…"_

_"…you happy now Eren!?"_

No…

"Sorry…"

_"J-just… stop kid, okay…"_

"Sor--" I stop myself, my voice coming out quiet- I knew he had every right to be angry, but I didn't want him angry at me. "I… g-get that you’re annoyed and I’m sorry you have to relive any bad memories there may be." I hear Levi sigh. "… And I’m sorry that I can’t help you any more than I’m trying… and I really _am_ trying Levi…" My words start getting wobbly towards the end and I have to compose myself.

_"Eren…"_

"No, Levi…!"

 _"You stand there and you want me to tell you how I’m fucking_ feeling _, but I don’t know…!"_

"You don’t have to tell me know you're  _feeling_ ; just know that you can _talk_ to me…! I understand to an extent what--"

 _"You think you understand Eren!? I’m sorry, I didn’t realise you have also been dead for the past five years with absolutely no control on whatever piss poor excuse of an existence you call this!"_ Levi’s voice rises slightly, but gets quieter when he goes on _. "Don’t tell me you fucking understand Eren, because I don’t even understand what’s going on any more…"_ I take a deep breath to try and control my emotions, shoving my hands into my pockets.

"Okay…" My own voice coming out quiet "…you’re right, I don’t understand… but I want to, and…and I want to help you understand what’s going on…"

_"Eren…"_

"…and I’m sorry that you got stuck with some… _shitty kid_ , heck, I still don’t understand why a lot of this is happening to me so I don’t really know what to do from here… but I want t-to help you…Levi." I look back up at him, my eyes slightly glassy from everything that’s happened, my mind exhausted from the rollercoaster of emotions and my body running on fumes from the lack of sleep.

I’m so fucking tired...

I take a deep breath, calming my pulse and blink away any tears that threatened to fall. I take in Levi’s guarded expression and think maybe he’s about to say something…but he decides against it, both of us standing in silence.

We walk out of the building and start heading down the street. The quiet between us isn’t the usual comfortable silence, but a tension that hangs… and it makes me feel sick. I think about saying something but I don’t know what, I can’t offer Levi anything… even with this “gift”…

I feel pretty useless…

"EREN!" Levi and I both look up, eyes darting across the street to see Isabelle waving her arms around to get my attention. I glance over to Levi who gestures subtly in her direction, a silent, 'well go on then'. We cross the road and sit down on the bench next to the smiling eight year old, completely oblivious of the tension between us. I keep my voice relatively low since the street has a few people walking home.

"Hey, Isabelle… you okay?" It was a stupid question really, but I didn’t know what else to say and my brain wasn’t really in a talking mood.

"Yes, I’m doing okay…" Her voice was back to normal today which must be a good sign. "Who’s your friend Eren? He can see me can’t he?!" She leans forwards to wave at Levi on the other end of the bench. "Hello Mr!!! My name is Isabelle!" I’m about to introduce him when he surprises me, smiling at the little girl himself, the expression a complete contrast to how he looked at me moments ago.

 _"It’s nice to meet you Isabelle, Eren’s told me a lot about you…"_  I watch her eyes light up at that, smiling at us both.

"He has!? How do you know Eren!? Are you the person who was making him _smile_ the other day!?" Isabelle laughs the most carefree sound in the world and I can feel Levi’s eyes on me, my neck heating up at her question.

Because he was…

"Um, Levi is a friend from work…"

"Well it’s very nice to meet you Levi! I like you _already_!" She looks down suddenly, kicking her scuffed pink shoes on the floor and I know she wants to ask me something. "E-Eren, have you figured any way of helping me _leave_ yet…?" The guilty look on her face at asking the question doesn’t help the immediate tightening in my chest. I look down, because no…

I haven’t figured out _anything_ …

Because I’m useless at this…

I take a deep breath, blinking back the same tears from before and calm the emotional rollercoaster that’s come crashing through again. All I can hear is the blood rushing through my ears and I run a hand over my face.

I can’t do this…

 _"Not yet Isabelle, but Eren’s got me now… so I’m gonna help him, okay?"_  Levi smiles at her again and it makes his eyes grow warmer. I release the wobbly breath I'd been holding, extremely grateful to Levi for stepping in.

"Thank you..." Isabelle kicks the floor again, and then looks back up at Levi whose leant forwards so she can see him. "Is Eren helping you too?" She says it cautiously, as if she didn’t want to bring up the fact she realised Levi was a ghost aswell. He goes quiet for a moment, looking up at me then back to Isabelle.

 _"Yeah, yeah he is…"_  Isabelle smiles widely at his answer, perhaps happy to find out she wasn’t the only one stuck in this situation. A sad expression flickers across her face momentarily until she looks up at me.

"I was all alone until Eren found me…" I look into her swirling green eyes and try to smile back, grateful for the small gesture I could do for her, if nothing else.

 _"Yeah… me too…"_ Levi’s reply causes a warm feeling to run through my body, despite the cold emitted by the two ghosts. I look back down to him and his eyes catch my own, the smile forming on my face more genuine than any I tried before.

 

We leave Isabelle, promising to visit her tomorrow, and then head back towards my apartment. The tension has gone back to a comfortable silence, but there’s still things left unsaid, silent thank you's and silent apologies….

Levi and I stop outside the front door to the apartment and I let us in, closing the door behind us. I turn around and take in the empty room, the red light blinking on the answering machine. I place the files down on the kitchen counter and carefully remove Levi’s badge from my back pocket, putting it on the side table. Pressing the blinking button, Mikasa’s voice fills the silent apartment….

'YOU HAVE ONE NEW MESSAGE – 15:59PM – (message tone)’

"Eren, I’m gonna be back late today but I wanted to…"

‘MESSAGE DELETED’ I don’t bother listening to it…

Same old…

Same old…

I turn back to Levi, who hasn’t moved away from the front door, so I start walking back over to him, a 'thank you' and an apology on the tip of my tongue.

I sigh.

"Levi…"

 _"No, Eren…"_  He sighs and looks down. _"I’m…_ sorry _...I was an asshole today and I shouldn’t have taken out my frustration on you."_  He runs a hand through his dark hair and I’m not really sure what to say, slightly awestruck by the apology. " _I_ _f it wasn’t for you, I’d still be stuck in that fucking storage room for… god knows how long."_  He hasn’t looked back up, so I step over to stand in front of him, the moon outside the only light coming into the room.

"Levi…"

 _"No, I’m not finished…"_  I swiftly stop talking. " _I’m not really sure how I’m supposed to be handling any of this, I’ve had these… fragmented pieces forcing their way into my mind all day and it’s disorientating… and aggravating and, so, god damn confusing… but… of all the people I could have been stuck with during this…"_  Levi gestures lazily around, regarding the whole situation. " _…I’m glad it’s you Eren…even though you can be kind of annoying."_  He looks up then, a small smile playing on his lips which makes my stomach flutter.

I smile back…

"Well… of all the ghosts I could have been stuck with… I’m really glad it’s you…" We just kind of look at each other for a while, everything finally feeling back to… normal? "I would hug you, but…" I shrug.

_"Yeah, that’s not happening…"_

"Because you’re physically only a manifestation of energy or, because… we’re just not there yet…?"

_"Um, both, probably both--"_

"Both?"

_"Yeah… I think…"_

"No no, th-that’s fine, I get it…"

_"Cool…"_

"Yep..." I nod my head and we stand there for a while, awkwardly, until I let out a small chuckle, making Levi quickly follow suit. I run a hand down my face, about to say something else when there’s a knock at the door. Levi and I glance at each other and I open it.

"Hellooooo LADIES!!" Hange stands there smiling, lifting up a bottle and small box in their left hand. "I brought commemorable items!!!"

"Smokes and booze?" I raise an eyebrow.

"YES! Two of Levi’s favourite things!" They swiftly let themselves into my apartment then turn back to stare at us. "Come on! We need to help Levi remember ME!!"

 

_"You don’t have to drink that Eren…"_

"Come on Eren, drink up! It was Levi’s favourite whisky, not bloody cheap either…" Hange takes a big gulp, making a rather sharp face afterwards. We’re sat around the table in the middle of my apartment, Hange opposite me and Levi on my left.

"Hange the point of you coming over here was to help Levi remember stuff from his past… we kind of need you sober for that…"

"Don’t sweat it Eren, I have a _very_ impressive alcohol tolerance!"

 _"Yeah, they really do…"_  Levi’s tone is still bored, but when I look at him, his eyes widen, realising what he just said.

"What made you say that?" I stare at him.

_"I don’t know…"_

"Whoa, w-wait, w-what did he say!?" I look back up to Hange and run a hand through my hair.

"It doesn’t matter right now; we have a lot to cover so we’re…" I gesture between me and Levi. "…just gonna cut to the chase Hange. Someone or some people have gone to various lengths to cover up Levi having _ever_ worked at the 104 precinct and we need to know what the _fuck_ you can tell us about …" I flail my hands around a bit. "…all of it!" Hange’s face drops for a moment then they look back up.

The three of us sit there for a moment, waiting for Hange to gather their thoughts…

"Um… when Levi… was pronounced dead, it’s a bit of a blur to be honest." Their eyes look distant, as if they’re reliving the past. "I wasn’t actually in work that day, I w-was, um… working with some people across town on this, uh, homicide case…" They look up at me and gesture lazily, glass still in hand. "I had numerous psychological interviews to conduct. It was quite late… like maybe… t-ten-ish, or maybe later, I , uh… don’t really remember…"

"That’s fine Hange, just… keep going." Their voice was getting wobbly and I’m starting to think the alcohol was a really bad idea.

Emotions were already running high…

"Right! Yes, sorry…uh, so Erwin called me that night t-to tell me about the mission gone wrong. I don’t know how much you know, but Levi was on a pretty deep undercover job when it happened." I nod my head, letting them know I was on the same page. "Well, we were told it went wrong and Levi wasn’t able to get out in time… Erwin said they found his body in the, uh… Maria river s-some miles down…"

"Wait, wait, his body was found in the _river?"_  I look over to Levi, his emotions hidden but the slip of confusion mirroring my own. "When we read Levi’s file it said he was found in an alleyway, shot, bled to death…?" Hange’s face takes on its own confused look.

"Well that must be wrong, Erwin told me himself and he was there when they pulled him out…!" We’re all quiet for a moment, not really sure what to make of any of this.

"Some shady BULLSHIT is going on!" I slam my fist down on the table.

 _"Hear, hear…"_ I knew Levi wasn’t going to get angry like me, but I would still like a bit more of a reaction. I look up at Hange and notice their conflicted expression.

"How well do you _know_ Erwin, Hange?" Because the guy’s starting to appear more than I’d like in this story.

"We… we were close, we _are_ close. The three of us went to the same academy, until I switched to psychology. Levi and Erwin were good friends. Does Levi remember their relationship _at all_?" Their eyes travel over to where Levi’s sat, his face displaying no reaction to the question.

"No." My answer is almost drowned out by Levi’s, at least to my ears.

 _"I’m not sure…"_  I turn to look at him, my own eyes widening.

"So you _do_ remember him?" He looks at me, his expression bored but eyes swirling.

 _"I don’t know Eren, but…"_  He sighs. " _…my body feels like it reacts to him in a way that I can’t control, I feel… angry…"_

"Okay, so… you don’t remember him, but he makes you feel _angry_!?" What the hell is that supposed to mean!?

"The PEN!" What?!

"What!?" I turn back to Hange. "Can people please start _fucking_ elaborating!?" I hold my hands up in frustration.

"When Levi used the pen earlier today, you said you were in Erwin’s office right? If Levi got _angry_ then that would explain his physical capabilities at that moment in time!" Hange seems very pleased with their theory.

"Well, do you know why Levi might feel angry at Erwin?" Their face falls at my question and I suspect they do.

"I have a good idea…" Hange’s voice goes quieter than their usual enthusiastic tone. "…I actually fell out with him for a while, not long after we lost Levi… but you have to remember Eren, it was a very sensitive situation." My fist clenches again and I hide it by crossing my arms, leaning back in my chair – Levi still silent next to me, waiting for Hange to go on. "Levi and Erwin were always very different; I mean the three of us were the biggest anomalies in the academy…" They chuckle lightly at the memory. "…Erwin was ambitious, he joined the force with the intention of climbing the ranks and… he wanted to make a difference. Levi, on the other hand, just rolled with the punches. He was never interested in climbing the proverbial ladder, he just… did his job and he did it _bloody well_ Eren, Levi was one of the best detective minds the precinct had and this made him stand out… stand out for opportunities th-that he didn’t even _want_ , and I knew for a fact Erwin got jealous of this…"

"So Levi became Erwin’s competition?" Hange shrugs their shoulders uncomfortably.

"I mean… no, not really, Levi declined any promotion once he reached detective, and they were still good friends." 

 _"If we were all such good friends, why did you fall out with Erwin after I died?"_ I quickly glance at Levi then back to Hange, their eyes expectant for a question.

"If you were all such good friends till the end, what made you fall out with Erwin?"

"Like I said before Eren, it was a… sensitive situation, and everybody deals with loss in different ways. I took quite a bit of time off work, I found it h-hard to be there after everything that happened you know… but Erwin… Erwin took a promotion, the promotion that had been set aside as an offer for Levi once he was off the Titan case…" Hange nods their head slowly and takes a sip from the whisky, my own voice coming out quiet.

"His friend just died… and he took a _promotion_ …?" I clench my jaw and feel the room get slightly colder. I look at Levi but he just keeps the same expression, arms folded.

"I know how it sounds Eren but, I believed Erwin saw this as an opportunity to make a difference. Once Levi’s death was announce it was almost immediately drowned out by tactical news, the higher ups didn’t want anybody else catching onto their royal fuck up in the biggest Titan case in decades. Levi did his job to the 'T'…. h-he gave his life to deliver evidence that could have taken those bastards years to cough up…!" Hange’s voice gets wobbly again, their eyes turning glassy. "I didn’t really understand what the problem was, they lost a detective… but they treated it like he had betrayed the precinct, like he was an enemy! My best friend was killed on that fucking job and they wanted everyone to act like he n-never even existed!!" Tears drip down Hange’s face and I reach a hand out to rest on top of theirs.

"It’s okay Hange, you don’t have to…"

"No…!" They take a deep breath. "I’m okay… w-when Erwin took that job, I thought he was going to sort out this political bullshit, but…. he just followed their orders, sweeping Levi’s career under the rug like they hadn’t been close friends for years...!"

"Hange, whatever reason they had to do this to Levi… it was way more than political publicity bullshit. There’s something more to this…" They nod and remove their hand from under mine, wiping it under their nose. "When we snuck into Erwin’s office earlier today to find Levi’s personal records, at least half the content was ripped out."

"I-I know… the people who made these decisions were powerful and I didn’t really know what to do. When I spoke to Erwin about it, he insisted he was going to make a difference, get rid of those people… but after a few months he wouldn’t even talk about Levi, I m-missed my friend and I didn’t have anyone to talk to about it… my friend who…w-who I’d known since forever, my friend who gave others the death glare when they used the wrong pronouns…" They give a humourless chuckle. "…my friend who had the affectionate characteristics of a lawn chair but was always there none _the less_ … my,my _friend_ …" Hange’s voice catches on the last word. "…who didn’t get a chance to experience so much more that he _should have_!" Hange covers their face with their hands, more tears falling and sobs escaping from their throat. I’m about to go over to comfort them, when I see Levi get up from his own chair beside me.

I watch him walk around the table, taking a seat next to Hange and reach out to cover their hand with his own. I see the immediate chill run through Hange’s body and their face calms down. Levi’s face still void of any emotion, but his eyes were swirling faster than ever.

 _"I’m sorry shitty glasses…"_  He says it quietly, the gentleness in his voice showing the affection behind the nickname, a nickname I realise Levi never really forgot…

Hange looks over to where Levi now sat, smiling.

"I w-wish I could see you…" They look over to me and chuckle lightly. "Is he rolling his eyes at me, Levi always hated it when I got emotional." I smile at them, my chest tightening at the scene in front of me.

 _"I only ever rolled my eyes because you got emotional over the most stupid fucking things…"_ Levi turns to look at me, as if on cue, rolling his eyes.

I think it’s safe to say his memories are coming back, and I don’t think they’re all gonna be that bad…

We sit there in silence for a little while, Hange nursing the rest of Levi’s whisky and I pick up the box of smokes to keep my hands busy. I’m staring off into space when I feel a pair of eyes watching me, and looking up; I see Levi’s attention on the box of cigarettes in my hands. Smiling, I lift them up and shake them lightly.

"I suppose you _really_ want one of these, don’t you…?" My smile doesn’t disappear and I know I’m being kinda mean, Levi’s face trying hard to remain passive.

 _"I’ve done five years… what’s an eternity more?"_  I wasn’t convinced…

"Whatever you say old man…" I shake the box again and chuckle.

"I can’t imagine it’s that much different to a pen, if Levi was able to conjure up enough energy, he may be able to interact with the cigarette accordingly." Hange puts their glass down, gesturing to Levi who’s making his way back beside me. 

 _"So what, you’ve both gotta just piss me off so I can have a smoke?"_  Levi looks rather unconvinced.

"Well, it is the only way we know for sure to increase your… solidity?" I shrug as I take the glass of whisky Hange pours and inform them of Levi’s question. "We just make him angry right?"

"In theory…?" Hange shrugs as well, then looks up as if to think about what they could say to infuriate the ghost. Suddenly their eyes light up and they snap their fingers. "You _are_ particularly small in stature…" They raise their eyebrows and nod as if feeling very satisfied. I smile and turn to Levi myself.

"Plus, that hair cut doesn’t look as good on you as you think it does…" Levi’s expression turns to one of complete indifferent.

 _"How original four eyes, insult my height, no one’s done that before…"_  He turns to me. " _And that’s a lie and you know it…"_

Damn it…

He looks fucking great and he knows it… I sigh

"It didn’t work Hange…" I raise my hands in defeat.

"Oooh, what about… remember that time you trusted me to water your plants when you went away to visit family in France. I stayed and drank soda on your couch but spilt a load on the cushions and so I had to frantically replace them before you got home…!?" Levi leans forward abruptly, pointing a finger at them.

 _"I knew you had done_ something _you shitty glasses, but you just sat there whilst I tried to figure out what had changed in my apartment, then you told me I was just getting old and convinced me to buy you dinner as a thank you for doing my fucking plants!"_  I laugh at Levi’s outburst, both because it was so stupid and the fact that… I really needed a laugh. I look at Hange and point a finger in Levi’s direction.

"H-he remembered i-it!!" I’m still laughing when I try saying it, wiping the tears starting to form in my eyes. "He got really p-pissed!" Hange immediately bursts out laughing with me, giving me a high five and turning to Levi.

"QUICK LEVI, try pick up the cigarettes!!!" I see him go to pick them up, but instead of going for a single one he manages to grab the entire box and flings it at Hange.

 _"Fuck you shitty glasses!"_  He turns back to me. " _And fuck you too Jaeger!"_ I look up at Hange’s shocked face as they pick the box up after it bounces off their head.

"Close Levi, not quite what we meant…" I smile back at him and I see the corner of his mouth quirk up into a smirk. "… But still progress!"

We've got a long way to go...

But it’s still progress…

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whooo! What an emotional rollercoaster - love it! Thank you to EVERYONE who's read, left kudos and commented. It makes me so happy to hear when you're enjoying it, keeps me writing <333 Really hope you like the new chapter update too!
> 
> Tumblr - jovialjellyfishreaper - if yo wanna talk about it <3


	5. No Progress Without Struggle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 100 Kudos!! OMG, I'm so happy!! Thank you to everyone for your support and for reading!! Your comments are so lovely to read <333
> 
> Chapter 5 didn't go quite as I'd initially planned but I hope you enjoy it! :) Plus, I was so frickin' tired as I wrote a lot of this and uploaded it so I apologise if there are any stupid mistakes, I will read it over again in the morning XD Kisses and smiles <333

My head hurts…

Why does my head hurt….?

Images of Hange cackling go through my head and… oh yeah… that’s why my head hurts.

After Hange spilled everything they remembered regarding Levi’s death, we switched back to the whisky and between the two of us we managed to finish the bottle. Levi rather put out by the whole being dead thing and not being able to participate, found us both quite the pair. I roll over in bed and crack my eyes open, pulling the ends of my hair. When I glance at the blaring red numbers on my side table I think maybe I’m still dreaming….

10:12am…

I hear some moving around in the living room and wonder who it could be…

10:13…

God my head hurt…

10:14…

I sit up properly in bed and rub my eyes; I stretch and take a drink from the glass of water on my bedside table. Glancing back down to the clock again, I expect to see a slightly more appropriate hour…

10:15…

Shit! I didn’t set my alarm and now I’m crazy late for work, damn you Hange! I leap out of bed and have, what has got to be, the quickest shower I have ever had. I use the towel to half-heartedly dry my hair and shove my clothes on. I throw open my bedroom door and see Levi leaning on the edge of the couch, seemingly ready to leave.

 _"Look who finally decided to show his face…"_  He raises a condescending eyebrow at me and crosses his arms.

"Why the fuck didn’t you wake me!?" I throw my arms open and grab my shoes.

 _"Look kid, to start off, I’m not your fucking butler…kay? And for the record, I did try wake you but you didn’t seem to hear me, the range from the badge doesn’t reach into your bedroom."_  Levi gestures towards the door behind me. I sigh, running my hand through my slowly drying hair. I kneel down to do up the laces on my suit shoes.

"Well thanks for trying…" I glance up. "… Erwin’s gonna give me so much shit!"

"Eren!?" I hear Mikasa’s voice muffled from the other room.

"My _sisters_ still here, why didn’t you say anything!?" I lower my voice to a whisper and Levi just shrugs, a slightly amused look on his face. "And we’re gonna be so fucking late!"

"Eren! What do you mean 'we'?" Mikasa suddenly appears from behind her own bedroom door the other side of the apartment.

"Uhh, like 'we' as in the collective 'we', like…'I'?" I shrug, completely aware of how little sense I’m making. Mikasa seemingly passes it off for some stupid younger brother overslept nonsense.

"Why aren’t you at work already?" I stand and pick my jacket up from the back of the chair.

"I just over slept Mika, its fine…" I wave my hand nonchalantly and quickly change the subject. "You going to work this morning? I thought you worked late last night?" She looks a bit exasperated with my question and sighs.

"Eren, I wasn’t working last night…"

"Then where were you…?" I start gathering my things around the apartment, shoving them in my bag.

"Didn’t you listen to the voicemail I left you?" She takes a step towards me and I stop what I’m doing, frowning momentarily to try remember.

"Sure, you… you said you were gonna be back late and… and that you… love me?" I was spit balling.

"Damn it Eren! I count on you listening to those voicemails! What if something bad had happened!?" Uuuuurrrgh Mikasa… I drop my head to the side and gesture to her.

"Did it!?"

"No! But that’s not the point Eren!" I look down at my watch and throw my head back impatiently.

"Mika, look, I’m sorry, next time I’ll listen to it twice but I really have to go..." I start to leave, then stop. "Where were you then if you weren’t at work anyway, it’s not like you exactly have a social life?"

 _"Run away Eren, run far away…"_  I hear Levi beside me as he makes his way towards the front door.

"Gee, _thanks_ Eren! And I’ll have you know I was on a DATE last night, how’s that for no social life!?" Mikasa puts her hands on her hips, looking rather pissed off.

"Wow, Mikasa, that’s great! I’m happy for you, genuinely!" I try to make my tone lighter and start to turn around.

"Wait, Eren, I really think you should hear it from m--"

"I really need to go Mikasa, I’m sorry but I’ll see you later!" I quickly grab Levi’s badge and shove it in my pocket before closing the door behind us. I stop for a moment, gathering my thoughts and turn to Levi.

"I’m gonna get shit for that later aren’t I?"

 _"Yeah, I’d imagine so."_  Levi’s face is as bored as ever. " _At least I’m counting on it..."_ He smirks at me.

Well, I’m glad my suffering brings him some semblance of joy…

"Oh well, that’s future Eren’s problem!" And we head off to the office.

 

 

Walking into the office late always takes me back to the school days when you walked into class _way_ after the second bell. You feel like every single person in that room notices, watching you do that walk of shame between the desks, silently judging you.

Except, deep down…

Nobody gives a shit…

Levi and I walk out of the elevator and nobody gives us two minds about it, so I walk over towards my desk. The closer I get, I notice a brown ponytail sticking up from the back of my chair, once I reach it I spin the chair around to reveal Sasha drawing, what looks like, cartoon foods on the back of my notebook.

"What do you want Sasha?" I look to the side and drop my bag onto the floor.

"You still owe me lunch for yesterday!" I quickly shove my hand over her mouth, shushing her in front of Jean. I kneel down in front of her and lower my own voice.

"I already gave you money for pizza yesterday, I’ve paid you!"

"Well I want more, do you know the shit Erwin gave me for the havoc my accusations caused him!? Come oooon Ere--"

"Fine!" I shove another twenty on the table and watch her take the money before walking away happy. I stand up and turn to see Levi giving me a rather disappointed look.

"She did us a solid Levi!" I raise my hands defensively and drop into my chair, Levi walking round to lean against the desk next to me.

"Nice to see you finally showed your face Jaeger." I glance up and glare at Jean, my head still thumping lightly from the night before. I don’t humour him with a reply and start up my computer, my mood plummeting by the minute. As I get up my Titan reports I glance to Levi beside me and then to the Wall Rose file I laid out in front of him to read.

I’m finding it hard to focus on anything; even though I actually slept last night I know I was still restless. I never really remember the dreams, but they leave me feeling uneasy and completely drained. The words on my screen are blurring and before I know it my heads on the desk.

 _"Eren… Eren!"_  I feel a freezing chill ice over my forehead and sit straight up. I look to my right, seeing Levi leant down to look at me. " _Jesus Eren, why are you still so fucking tired?"_ A flicker of concern goes through his eyes and I follow them as he stands back up.

"So Eren…" Sigh, Jean!? "…did Mikasa talk to you this morning?" His voice takes on a cautious tone.

Jeez, I’m just tired not catatonic. I sit up in my chair and lean forwards, my face no doubt taking on a 'why dafuc you wanna know?’ expression.

"Um, yeah…?" I raise an eyebrow.

"So she told you about the date?" She told _you_ about the date?

"Yeah… _why_?"

"But you’re okay with it?" I frown.

"I…guess so…?" Jean’s face looks weirdly relieved. 

 _"Eren, I think--"_ Levi tries to butt in, but I need answers.

"Why do _you_ know about the date Jean…?" Relief dissolves into confusion.

"Because… I was on it, with h-her, Mikasa, I went on a date with her…" Confusion dissolves into worry.

 _"Eren…"_ Levi’s tone becomes warry.

"You, y-you… went on a _date_ … with my, _my,_ sister? W-what, w-why- why would you do that!?"

"Well we got quite close whilst you were in the hospital…" I stand up from my chair and sigh, running my hands through my hair. My sister… and my partner? "She told _me_ she told you yesterday and that she’d talk to you again this morning!" Jean stands up from his own chair and gestures his hands out. "Eren…"

"So, what… poor Eren’s stuck in the hospital, let’s go hit on his sister?!" I abruptly move around the desk so I’m standing in front of him, my voice getting louder.

"It wasn’t like that! She was scared you were gonna _die_ Eren and she needed someone…!" I take a step back then grab my hair, the headache increasing twofold.

Deep breath…

I knew I had a temper and more often than not it had gotten me into some pretty shitty situations in the past. Mikasa always told me that one day I’d do something I wouldn’t be able to take back…

"Eren, I understand why you might struggle with this, but I care about your sister, Mikasa, a lot, I always have…" I look up at that. "…and it’s about time you supported something that made _her_ happy, you put her through so much _crap_ over the past few years, you have no idea--"

"I have no _idea_!? What the fuck Jean, FUCK YOU!!" I shout, pushing him back against his desk. "FUCK YOU!" A small part in the corner of my brain knows I’m over-reacting, but my temper and lack of sleep drown this out.  

 _"Eren!"_  I see Levi step into my peripheral when a door slams open from across the room.

"What the hell is going on?!" Erwin’s voice carries over the precinct, stopping everyone in their tracks. This is _so_ not what I needed. He steps over to us, making me step back and take a deep breath, but when I look up at him, it just increases my headache… and my anger. "Eren Jaeger, you show up almost two and a half hours late for work then decide that’s a good time to cause a scene, in _my_ precinct. You are supposedly a professional so bloody act like one!" I clench my jaw, trying with everything I have to keep my words at bay. Jean steps around me to try talk to Erwin.

"With all due respect Sir, it’s my fault; we just had a little misunderstanding, please--"

"Sit down Kirstein!" He does. "I would have thought you’d have gotten sick of covering for Eren’s temper by now?" Jean looks down and I risk opening my mouth, hoping for something smart to come out.

"Sir…"

"No Eren, you’re really starting to make me reconsider whether you were ready to come back to work or not." I clench my fists. "Your behaviour over the past couple weeks has been concerning, and over the last few days particularly. Your temper does not appear to have improved and your uniform is not of my written attire requirements."

"You’re bitching about the _fucking_ tie again!?" So much for smart…

"Eren!" Jean gives me a pleading glance to step back.

 _"Eren…"_  Levi steps around so I can see him more, taking my focus partially off of Erwin. " _Eren, don’t do anything stupid. Take the reprimanding and let it go…!"_   Erwin continues the reprimanding, in front of all my colleagues, my friends, which is a really shitty thing to do.

"Yes Eren, I’m starting to believe time off or probation will be the next step, whether you decide to act responsibly or not." He keeps his tone steady, controlled, which only manages to piss me off more. "Your stability physically and mentally has been taken into question and Hange has informed me that they agree on my analysis in taking such measures."

"That’s BULLSHIT and you know it Erwin!" I take a step forward, not questioning Hange’s loyalty for a second.

"Eren, your behaviour is inexcusable; you’re not focussing on things you should be…" I look into his eyes; feeling like the air between has taken on a different tone. "…asking about things that don’t concern you…" He lowers his voice. "…sticking your nose into things that could get you hurt… _Jaeger_." He keeps a straight face whilst my own drops ever so slightly, my stomach twisting at the…threat?

 _"What the fuck is that supposed to mean eyebrows!?"_ Levi turns around to look at his supposed past friend, then back to me. " _Eren, just walk away!"_ His voice takes on a more pressing tone.

"Fuck you Erwin…" I say it quietly enough for no one else to hear but him, my anger rising and fists clenching tighter.

 _"Eren! For God’s sake Eren, don’t let the asshole get in your head!"_ Erwin steps closer to me, everyone else in the room trying to pretend they’re focusing on something else.

"Are you going to hit me Eren? Ruin your career over a tie..." I clench my teeth and strain to hear his next sentence. "…and a dead man?" My eyes widen.

 _"Eren, please!"_  I can feel the cold increase rapidly around me.

"I don’t know what you’re doing or who you’ve been talking to Eren, but I suggest you just do the jobs we ask of you…" I can feel my hands start to shake, a mixture of anger and stress.

 _"Eren, don’t do something stupid you’ll regret…!"_  Levi’s voice gets louder as Erwin’s gets even lower.

"Hit me Eren, hit me and let me take that badge away from you, for good…"

I want to…

Oh God I want to hit him so badly…

My hands clench into fists again, the only thing I hear is my heart beating in my ear and Mikasa’s words, 'deep breaths Eren, deep breaths'.

"Hit me Eren…" Shut up Erwin!

I’m so tired…

_"Eren!"_

I don’t really care anymore…

I feel my arm begin to lift, the noises around me drowned out and suddenly someone clutched the front of my shirt. The brisk physical contact taking me out of my daze and my fist lowers back to my side. My eyes focus and I notice the hands crumpled into the front of my shirt were…Levi’s?

 _"Eren, fucking snap out of it, don’t give this asshole what he wants, you punch him, that’s your career…over!"_ The fingers are so cold, but they’re really there, the skin beneath my shirt sending chills down my spine. I nod my head slowly, breathing heavy.

"Are you finally calming down Eren...?" I glance up at Erwin and I almost forgot the altercation that was about to take place. Levi nods, so I nod at Erwin. "Good, are you just going to focus on the cases you’ve been given from now on?"

 _"Yes sir…"_ I look back down to Levi, telling me what to say.

"Yes sir…" I can feel Levi’s fingers loosen slightly in relief at my cooperation.

 _"I’m sorry…"_  An involuntary clench of my jaw causes Levi’s fingers to tighten again.

"I’m sorry…" I wasn’t.

_"And it won’t happen again…"_

"And it won’t happen again…Sir."

"Good, perhaps go and take a breather Eren." And with that Erwin walks away, back to his office. "Back to work!" Everyone starts moving again, but I feel like I’m still frozen to the spot, my heartbeat not slowing down. I look down to see Levi close his eyes and take a deep breath, leaning his head against my chest and his fingers slowly loosening.

 _"Jesus Christ kid, you’re gonna be the death of me…"_ I let out a humourless chuckle, then slowly move to run my own hand over Levi’s. It was so cold…

But real…

As if he only just realised what had happened, Levi picks his head up and looks at me, both our eyes widening in the reflection of each other’s. With the situation calming down, we both follow suit, and with that, Levi’s hands start to disappear again. The once tight clutch on my shirt soon turns to nothing, leaving Levi and I stunned.

"Eren…I’m sorry…" I can hear Jean get up from his chair; I probably look like I’m in shock… which I kind of was. "Erwin doesn’t usually come down so hard on you, plus, I didn’t think he had noticed you coming in late…w-we should talk about this a bit more Eren, I don’t want you to be mad--"

"It’s fine Jean…" I take my eyes off of Levi and wave a hand at him, my head still trying to catch up with everything that happened. "I don’t hate you, I was just… surprised." I look over Jean’s surprised and slightly relieved face. "I need to go but I’ll talk to my sister later." I quickly start to grab my things and head towards the elevator.

We need to see Hange…

"But Eren…" I turn back to Jean.

"I just need some air Jean; I’ll be back sometime later…" I start to head off but want to say one more thing. "…thank you…" He looks rather perplexed at that. "…for standing up for me with Erwin…" He nods his head and I step into the elevator, Levi by my side. I take a deep breath and my shoulders sag, leaning on the railing.

_"Well fuck…"_

"You could touch me Levi, w-what…how?" My voice is hoarse and he looks up at me, eyes tired, but still alive.

 _"I don’t know Eren, I just…you were about to do something fucking stupid, so I stopped you…!"_ We’re both quiet for a minute.

"Thanks…I guess." It comes out quiet in the tight space.

_"That tempers gonna get you into some serious shit one day kid, you know that?"_

"Yeah… I know." I stand up straight so I can turn towards Levi whose leant up against the other side of the elevator. "I just don’t understand…!" I feel agitated still.

_"Understand what kid, you’re gonna have to narrow it down, there’s kind of a lot to not understand…"_

"How… how _one_ minute you’re there and the _next_ … you’re just _not_!" I step towards him, making Levi stand straight as well, turning to look at me.

 _"Eren…"_  I reach my hand out and brush it across Levi’s shoulder, but it just goes straight through. I take a deep breath and swallow the lump in my throat. " _Eren, I don’t think it’s gonna be that simple…"_ Levi steps forward and brushes his own hand against my shoulder, going straight through again. Levi sighs. " _…I think maybe we should just focus on the shit Erwin was spouting, he threatened you, Eren."_  I throw my arms out and give another humourless chuckle.

"What’s he gonna do Levi? The guys all talk, besides, he doesn’t really see me as a threat, he doesn’t even see me as a professional, you heard him."

_"You just need to be more careful, Eren…!"_

"Why!? You worried if I fuck up you’re just gonna be stuck here!?"

 _"That’s not what I meant and you know it…"_ Levi pinches the bridge of his nose, seemingly done with my outbursts. I take a deep breath and run a hand through my hair, my voice coming out quiet.

"I know…" I blink away the tears of frustration, exhaustion, and whatever other fucking emotions are circling around in my body. "I didn’t really mean that… I’m just…"

 _"I know…"_  Levi walks over to stand closer to me, the cold seeping through the whole of my right side when the door to the elevator suddenly opens. An older woman walks inside with some papers, not paying us… _me_ , much attention. Levi looks up at me as I try to compose myself in front of the woman." _We’ll figure it out Eren…"_  I look down into his swirling blue grey eyes _. "…but in the mean time I really don’t want to see this tear you apart. You’re fucking knackered, you haven’t been sleeping and I‘ve hardly seen you eat anything over the past few days…"_

"Levi…" He immediately interrupts me before I make myself look foolish in front of the lady in here with us.

 _"… you’re smart Eren, contrary to what Erwin said, I can tell he thinks you’re a good detective, so don’t ruin this for yourself. Don’t ruin your future for a five year dead, thirty-four year old alcoholic asshole who just really wants to have a smoke and then die in peace."_  I look down at him, the height difference between us making the position we’re in feel almost intimate. " _You promise me Eren, if this shit gets too much, you’ll drop it… and just forget about me."_  I shake my head softly.

No

_"Eren…"_

"No…" Levi sighs again, realising I was gonna be too stubborn.

The doors finally open, putting a stop to our conversation. The women gets out and I realise we’re on seven, Hange’s floor. I step out of the elevator, Levi on my heels, and make my way to Hange’s office. They probably have a client round about now but this is too important. We walk down the long corridor until we reach Moblit’s desk, I place my hands down and the timid man looks up at me. Now I wouldn’t say I’m a particularly intimidating man, but I’m very tall, fairly built from training, and my temper is well established around most departments.

"Eren!? H-hello, how are you, I’m afraid Mz Zoe is with another client at the moment…"

"Yeah, I assumed they would be but this is _really_ important Moblit, is there any way I can just talk to them for a moment?"

"I’m afraid--"

"Come _on_ , I can tell you now, whoever is in there ain’t got _shit_  on what I’ve got going on out here!" I stand up straight and gesture to the closed office door. Moblit stands up and raises his hands; as if that was gonna calm me down.

" _Eren_ , I’m going to have to ask you to calm down…"

Oh, well, since you asked so nicely…

"No _Moblit_ , just…" I sigh "…let me talk to Hange, just for a minute… _please_!" I can tell he’s about to try arguing again but then he turns towards the door, knocking to let himself inside. I turn back to Levi, giving a rather smug grin.

 _"You sure can be persuasive when you want to be…"_  I can’t tell whether he’s being sarcastic or not.

"Thanks, it’s the charm…" I smile at him again and get a smirk in return.

 _"Right, the charm…"_  He shakes his head slowly and raises an eyebrow. " _… it’s all in your eyes brat…"_

"Oh! So Levi Ackerman likes my eyes?" He rolls his own eyes at me but the smirk doesn’t disappear. "It’s an interesting development Levi, I have to say, but not one I can focus on right now." I let out a light laugh and turn back to see Moblit looking at me, a slightly concerned and slightly scared look on his face.

Yes Moblit, yes I am talking to thin air…

"Come on Moblit, can I see them or not!"

"Mz Zoe is with…" Before he can finish, I barge passed, no longer laying mind to boundaries. As soon as I’m in the room, I hardly take notice of the other person.

"Hange, we need to talk, like, right now!" They stand up, very composed and gesture to the client sitting in the chair opposite. I turn around and recognise Marco from the department over.

"Eren I understand but I just need you to take a deep breath…"

"Mz Zoe…" Marco starts to say something but I cut him off.

"Shut up Marco, you work in the bloody health department, how stressful can it really be!?" I turn to him and gesture my arms out. "…take a fucking bath and take up painting or something. Some of us have real shit going on!" I know full well I’m being out of order, the dude _could_ have very real shit going on.

But it wasn’t _my_ shit…

"Marco darling…" Hange turns back to the now scared looking man standing up from his chair. "…I’m afraid we’re going to have to reschedule, but remember to call me if you need to…" they gesture to the door. "…Moblit will book you in for a new appointment." Marco smiles at Hange then turns to me, I smile back condescendingly, making the man walk out faster. As soon as he leaves, closing the door behind him, Hange turns on me. "Jesus, Eren! You think you could be a bit more subtle, I understand you have a lot going on but I do have other clients!" I run a hand through my hair and pace the room a few times.

"I’m sorry Hange! I know I was a dick just then but I needed to talk to you…" Hange’s eyes soften and they gesture to the seat for me to sit down. My breathing is getting more and more erratic so I hunch over in my seat for a few seconds, counting to ten. When I look up I see Levi standing beside Hange, both of them looking slightly concerned.

"Okay Eren, do you want to tell me what this is about, is Levi with you?" I sit up straight, nodding and take a deep breath.

"Well, first off, I was late this morning because you made us drink the rest of that _bloody_ whisky last night, I got into a shit storm with my sister before I left, and probably the longest conversation I’ve actually had with her in the past month! When I finally got into work Jean dropped the bomb shell that he went on a date with Mikasa last night, which apparently she did _try_ tell me about, but, God knows, I’ve got way too much going on in my _own_ life to acknowledge there might actually be something going on in hers, can I say shitty brother alert…!"

 _"Eren…"_  I see Levi step towards me to try calm me down but I need to get everything out.

"I got pissed at Jean so I yelled at him, making Erwin come out of his office, he starts giving it the whole 'I’m an asshole, I’m big, you’re small, I’m rubber, you’re glue' BULLSHIT, I got pissed and wanted to hit him. Erwin knew I had a temper and tried to goad me into it so he could take my badge away, threatened me because I asked about Levi, said a bunch of shifty stuff under his breath so nobody else could hear, pissed about my fucking tie again, and before I could actually punch him Levi stepped in and stopped me by fucking materialising out of fucking nowhere and grabbing my shirt--"

"He could touch you!?" Hange’s eyes widen in their head.

"Yeah! Which distracted me from the stupid thing I was about to do, Erwin buggered off after patronising me a bit more, then Levi went back to being the figment of energy he’s been since the beginning…" I take a massive sigh once I’d finished, all of it seemingly coming out in one massive breath, but honestly I felt a million times better.

"Okay, well… that’s a hell of a morning you’ve had Eren." Hange looks at me with, what I hope isn’t pity and I look up, seeing Levi pacing the room much like I was before. "Levi?" At their enquiry Levi swiftly brushes his hand over Hange’s head, telling them he’s there, making a small smile appear on their face. "Um…. have you tried… touching, again…?" I nod my head. "…hmmm…?" I lift my hand up in a half-hearted gesture.

"It was just like one moment he was _so_ real Hange..." I look over and catch Levi’s eye. "…and then he was just _gone_ … again." I close my eyes and just desperately want to go back to sleep.

"Okay, Eren, take a deep breath…" Levi sits down next to me as Hange starts talking again. "…in a way, this makes sense and does follow along with our original theories. If Levi was concerned that you were going to do something dangerous, making his emotions respond to the situation, it makes sense that his ability to interact with people can be affected as well." I lay my head against the back of the chair, listening to Hange’s steady voice. "Levi was worried for you Eren, and so his body reacted accordingly." They smile at that, their explanation helping to calm me down. I turn my head so I’m looking at Levi again, lowering my voice.

"Awww, you were worried about me?" I smile at him, holding my hand to my heart in an almost mocking gesture.

 _"Tch…"_  That’s a yes. " _As soon as you do something stupid, that’s coming back on me kid."_ I knew that wasn’t really how either of us actually felt after our talk in the elevator, but I let it slide as teasing.

"But Eren…" Hange’s voice brings my attention back to them. "…did you say Erwin threatened you?" Their face was now full of quite a bit of concern and I almost forgot I included that.

"Well… he basically said I should stop looking into things that weren’t my business and could get me hurt…sounded like a threat to us. Oh! And he told me that he spoke to you and that you said I should be put on probation for being physically and emotionally unstable!" Their eyes widen.

"What!? I haven’t spoken to Erwin about you at all, Eren, I swear!"

"No no, I know that!" I wave my hands frantically, brushing off Erwin’s comment as garbage. "He was just being an asshole…"

"What did you say to him, after he mentioned the case… did he mention Levi?"

"I told him I’d stop and keep to the cases I’m given and no, he didn’t… but there were some pretty damn big implications." Hange sighs, slightly taken aback by their friend’s actions.

"I guess I’ll talk to him and… Eren?"

_"Eren, your phones going off."_

I was so spaced I was the only one in the room who didn’t notice the loud vibrating in my pocket.

"Sorry…" I look at the screen and see an array of text messages from Armin. Shit! Lunch! "Shit, I was supposed to be having lunch with Armin today…" I look up at Hange. "…I can cancel."

"No." Hange raises their hands quickly. "…I think it might be good for you to take a couple hours and have a normal lunch, see a friend."

"A normal lunch, Hange? There is no normal now, normal died way back when." I give Hange a rather unimpressed look. "Plus Levi would have to come with me and he doesn’t wanna do that."

"Well then he can stay here with me!"

 _"Nope."_  I turn to Levi.

"Oh come on Levi, it’s just a couple hours, I don’t want to make you sit through it, besides, Hange would love to have you around…"

 _"They can’t even fucking see or talk to me, they wouldn’t have_ me _around, I’d have_ them _around and they’d have the occasional cold spot! I wouldn’t be able to talk to anyone…"_

"Pffft, when you talk to _me_ , most of the time you’re just bitching and moaning…!"

 _"Yeah, Eren, they’re two of my favourite things to do, you gonna take that away from me…?!"_  We both sigh and cross our arms, taking a couple minutes to think. Levi leans his head against the back of the couch before he continues after the silence, his voice coming out quiet. " _I’ll stay here Eren, if you want some time alone with your friend…you probably deserve that any--"_

"…No, Levi, It’s not that I don’t _want_ you there, I’d never _want_ to hand you off to somebody else. I just feel bad for dragging you around everywhere…"

_"I don’t really care Eren, as long as I’m not stuck in that God forsaken fucking store room, I don’t care where we go."_

"Okay" I turn back to Hange. "It was very nice of you to offer Hange, but Levi’s gonna come with me anyway." Hange just smiles at us, as if they already knew that was going to happen.

 

 

We walk down through the High street towards the Maria Café on the front by the water, the same place Armin and I always meet. As we get closer, I notice the blonde shape of Armin’s head sticking out the other side of a topiary bush. I lean in towards Levi quickly before Armin notices.

"Okay, so, Armin’s real smart, I won’t be able to bullshit my way out of anything like I do with everyone else…"

_"What exactly are you saying, Eren…?"_

"I’m saying, please try to _not_ make me look stupid in front of my friend, the last thing I need is Armin thinking I’m losing my mind… he’s persistent when he wants to be…" I look forward again and notice Armin waving, so I smile and wave back.

 _"Okay kid, no making you look stupid…"_  Levi turns his head in my direction when I try to not acknowledge him. " _…but I’m not so sure you need my help with that anyway…"_  I risk a scowl at him before we finally reach the café’s entrance.

"Eren!" Armin goes in for a hug and I’m not quite ready for it, quickly adjusting my footing. "It’s so good to see you!" As he lets go I take in his appearance - he looks well.

"Hey Ar…" We head inside and Armin heads for a table for two at the back of the room. "Uuuuh, w-wait Armin, do you think we could sit at a bigger table?" He turns around to give me a slightly confused expression but moves on towards a four person table on the other side. We sit down and I watch Levi take the seat next to me.

 _"Thanks…"_ I brush Levi’s 'thanks' off with a lazy gesture and turn my attention to Armin as to not draw any attention to the seat beside me.

"So…" Armin adjusts himself a bit, taking off his coat then smiles at me. "…this table to your liking?" I can tell he’s just teasing but it still makes my pulse increase slightly.

"Y-yeah, thanks, I just…like having…space?" I didn’t mean to phrase it as a question but, as I said before, I’m no good at lying. Armin sniggers at my concentrated expression, I know lying shouldn’t be this taxing but…

"So how have you been Eren, I spoke to Mikasa the other day and she seemed a bit worried about you…?"

"You spoke to Mikasa? Is that why you rang me, she send you to make sure I’m not going crazy!?" My voice rises a little towards the end and I can tell I’m still pretty het up from earlier.

 _"Eren…"_ Levi’s voice brings me out of any potential spiral and I sigh.

"Sorry, Ar…" I run my hands through my hair. "…I’ve just had a really shitty morning…" Armin doesn’t appear at all perturbed by my outburst and it doesn’t surprise me, if anyone is use to it by now, it’s Armin. He actually smiles at me.

"That’s fine Eren, you’ve had a pretty rough time of it lately in general and you deserve to feel a bit on edge at times." He looks down at the table. "And to answer your question, the reason I called _was_ in part due to Mikasa’s concern, but also because I missed my friend."

"Yeah… I missed you too Armin…"

 _"How touching…"_  I glare sideways at Levi and take in his very bored expression, I told him he didn’t have to come.

"So what’s new Eren?" Jesus, ain’t that a loaded question. "I heard about the push in the Titan case, good call on the third homicide pattern by the way. I had Hitch send out for the initial forensic report and we should be able to get the matches to you in the next week. The push has really taken a load off us since the drop on the Wielman case, it means a lot…"

"That’s awesome…but I don’t deserve all the credit for spotting that, it’s really no big deal."

"Well, whoever did, make sure you thank them for me…" He smiles then looks down to check his phone. I take the opportunity to glance at Levi, dropping my head to the side, a silent, 'he said thank you'. Levi glares at me for a moment then sighs, turning to look at Armin.

 _"You’re welcome…"_ He turns back to me, rolling his eyes, which just makes me smile. Armin puts his phone away and gives me his attention once again.

"He says you’re welcome…" Armin just looks confused.

"What…?"

"Nothing, so… how’s your grandpa, last I heard he was back on dialysis, is he doing alright?" Armin smiles, but before he can answer my question, the waitress appears from out of nowhere…

"Hello, welcome to the Maria café, can I get you some drinks today!?" The girl was quite cute and smiles at us both as she takes down our orders, glancing back to me every few seconds whilst she listens to Armin.

 _"I think she likes you…"_  I roll my eyes at Levi’s stupid observation and try talk to him as subtly as I can as she walks away, sparing me one last smile before she does.

"That’s stupid..." Levi raises an eyebrow at me.

 _"You telling me, with a pretty face like that, you don’t get this all the time?"_  He looks rather unconvinced and I’m not really sure I heard him correctly. I close my eyes briefly and will the crimson away from creeping up my neck. I can hear Levi chuckle next to me and when I look up I can tell Armin’s noticed as well.

"I think she likes you…" God damn it Armin, not you too! He giggles. "…calm down Eren, you were always the one to get the attention anyway, you should be used to it by now…" I’m not blushing because of the stupid girl Armin, I’m blushing because of the stupid dead guy next to me! "Should we tell her you’re gay now, or wait till she slips her phone number on the back of the bill?" Armin chuckles again as I glare at him, the blush finally disappearing. "Back of the bill it is…" I can feel Levi’s eyes on me and I have to focus really hard not to look at him. I sigh.

"Anyway!" I give everyone around the table a rather unimpressed smile. "Shall we move onto a less 'let’s torment Eren' topic?"

 _"Oh but where’s the fun in that…"_  I can hear the smug satisfaction in Levi’s voice and can’t stop my head from turning in his direction this time. As if to torment me more, as my eyes catch his, he smiles at me, making my stomach flip flop in all kinds of ways. Armin interrupts the flip flopping by standing from his chair.

"Whilst you think of a topic, I’m gonna pop to the toilet…" He’s about to leave then turns back. "If the pretty girl comes back, can you ask for a ginger beer?" He smiles when I nod, leaving Levi and I alone. I turn to the ghost and quietly whisper my contempt.

"What part of 'don’t make me look stupid' don’t you understand!?" Levi’s face has gone back to its neutral expression- a.k.a- no expression.

 _"Well, how was I supposed to know who’d blush like a little school girl…?"_  His eyes are smirking at me and I glare back.

"I should have left you with Hange…"

 _"You would have missed me and you know it…"_  I lean back in my seat, pinching the bridge of my nose. I don’t really have a retort to that, because it’s true…

I know I would have…

I would have felt lost if he wasn’t there and it’s only been a few days, it makes me wonder what I’m gonna be like when he’s gone….

Because at some points, there’s not gonna be a Levi…right?

 _"Oi, pass me that empty can…"_  Levi takes me out of my thoughts and I look up, confused. I look over to my empty coke can then back to the ghost.

"Why?"

_"Because I wanna practice…"_

"Practice what, fucking _recycling_ …?"

 _"Just shut up and pass me the can, brat…"_ I sigh and put the can down in front of him, watching Levi stare at it for a moment until I realise…

"You wanna try interact with it?" Levi’s hand goes back and forth through the metal, his face taking on a subtle frown of concentration, which was actually kinda cute.

"Hey! Sorry about that…" I quickly take my eyes off of Levi and smile at Armin, back in his seat. "I miss anything?"

"Uh, nothing… out of the ordinary…"

We settle into some pretty normal conversation for the rest of lunch, Armin telling me about his work, his grandpa, and me talking about adjusting back to my life before the accident, my sister and the Titan case. I catch a glance of Levi every so often from the corner of my eye, trying to pick up the can. His expression still looks bored, but I can see the flashes of anger and determination go through his eyes. Armin and I just finish paying the bill and I start to try and wrap my head around what I need to do for the rest of the day, first, we need to go to the Magnolia’s….

"Eren…?" I look up after putting my jacket on and take in Armin’s warry expression. "I actually wanted to tell you…" He looks quite unsure of what he wants to say. "Reiner contacted me the other day… he wanted to know how you were doing…"

"Armin…!"

"I know Eren, but he was worried about you whilst it was all happening and h-he just wants to see you, to make sure you’re okay…" Armin raises his hands defensively.

"Armin, I’m doing fine, and Reiner doesn’t _need_ to see me to know that…!" I throw my head back and sigh loudly. "It’s none of his business anyway how I’m doing!"

"I understand that you two didn’t leave on the best of terms but you dated for over a year…"

"Fucking so!?"

"You cared about him Eren, and he still cares about you, a _lot_!" I think I’m about to start pulling my hair out when a metal _crunch_ distracts us. I look over to my right and see the coke can crumpled, Levi seemingly having crushed it. That’s some serious practice… I try not to glance up at Levi.

"Eren, did you see th--"

"No...! I didn’t see anything Armin."

"But I could have sworn--"

"…Armin, just… _please_ tell him I’m fine and not to bother me, okay?" Armin decidedly forgets about the coke can and smiles apologetically at me.

"I’m sorry."

"It’s fine, I know you were just the messenger." I smile back and we stand from the table. I look over to Levi who’s not showing any sign of acknowledging what had just happened. We head around the table and I grab the crushed can on my way out, Levi following behind. As we leave the café, Armin and I say our goodbyes and he makes his way towards the bus station. As soon as Armin’s gone from sight I turn around, lobbing the coke can in Levi’s direction; unsurprisingly watching it pass through him like air.

_"Well that was rude…"_

"What the fuck was that Levi!?" He shrugs.

 _"Reflex?"_  I frown at him in confusion and he sighs. " _I didn’t mean to fucking do it Eren, it just happened! Your little friend let it go so what’s the problem!?"_

"Jesus Christ, Levi, what isn’t the problem!?" I turn my back to him and sigh, putting my head back and running my hands over my face. I start to finally feel calmer when something hits me from behind, bouncing off the back of my head. I spin around and look down to see the crushed coke can at my feet and look up to see Levi standing there, arms folded with the scowl of a petulant child. I bend down and pick it up.

"Did you just throw this at me?" My voice is quite quiet and I feel conflicted between annoyance and wonder, what seems to be my whole fucking life right now. "What was that, more _fucking_ practice?" Levi doesn’t say anything but stands there, still, not backing down from my own scowl. I take the moment to admire his stubbornness, perhaps we’ve got more in common than I originally thought, although, how Hange thought we’d be good for each other is still a bit beyond me. We’ve argued more than anything else. Levi’s blank expression slowly starts to take on a small smile as I begin to step closer; I take in his swirling eyes, his sharp cheek bones and his raven hair.

God, I wish I could touch it….

"If you…" I take another step towards him and take his badge out of my back pocket. "…throw anything else at me; I swear to God Levi, I will leave this badge on the fucking bus…" I smile an evil smile as Levi’s voice comes out quiet.

 _"You wouldn’t dare…"_ I take another step closer, holding the badge up for Levi to see.

"Oh wouldn’t I Levi, you’d just be stuck there, roaming the same filthy bus route for the rest of eternity…" He glares at me for a moment longer, eyes flickering between the badge and myself. "Say you’re sorry…!"

_"…No!"_

"Say it!"

 _"No!"_  I take in the world around us quickly to make sure no one’s calling the police on the crazy guy in the café parking lot.

"I’ll leave you on the bus…"

_"No you won’t…"_

"And what makes you so confident I won’t…?" We eye each other for a moment, the badge suspended between us both.

 _"Because…"_  Levi takes one step closer, until we’re inches apart, my heartrate picking up. I see a flash of something go through his eyes, quicker than I can register what it was, and then he grabs it. The badge was in my hand and then it wasn’t. My eyes widen in shock as Levi beams, now holding his badge between his fingers. " _...You’ll have to take it out of my cold-dead-fingers Jaeger…"_ And with that he leaps backwards as I lunge for him.

"You bastard!" He steps back again, still clutching the badge and I smile, because he looks so… care-free. "H-how the _fuck_ …!" Levi laughs, like, actually laughs, a sound that makes all the other sounds that have sounded before sound dull in comparison. He shrugs.

 _"I d-don’t fucking know any more Eren…"_  I stare at him for a moment then lunge forward again, making to grab the badge, but instead of the badge, my fingers clasp around his wrist and I pull him forward. He turns around trying to block me as I go for it again and I circle an arm around his waist, the cold from his skin seeping into mine. " _Y-you bastard…!"_ We’re both laughing now as I wrestle the smaller, yet weirdly strong ghost for the power of the badge.

Everywhere I touch is cold…

But everywhere I touch I can feel…

Levi turns around, smiling one last time before the badge suddenly falls from his grasp, his whole body losing focus and then he’s gone… again. I catch the badge before it falls to the floor and look Levi in the eye, reaching out to run a hand over his shoulder, my fingers going straight through. Both of us are breathing heavily and I can tell it took more energy out of Levi than usual, because he’s dimmed slightly.

"Well…" I run my thumb over the badge in my hand. "…that was … progress?" I chuckle, smiling at Levi’s raised eyebrows. He chuckles.

_"Progress? Is that what we’re calling it…"_

"Shut up…" I shove the badge into my back pocket. "We need to go meet the Magnolias." I sigh and look up at Levi one last time before we leave, trying hard not to let my emotions show. Every part of him I grazed I could still feel on the tips of my fingers, the cold spreading through my body. I rake my eyes over his features, the blue in his eyes back to the dark grey, it was like one step forwards, two steps back. I look up to his hair, spilling across his forehead and I wish I’d run my hands through it whilst I’d had the chance.

Because even though, yeah, it was progress…

…you can’t have progress without struggle…

…and I had a feeling there was a whole lot more struggling to come…

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr: jovialjellyfishreaper - if you have any questions or just wanna say hi <3


	6. Because You're Special...

After we leave the café, Levi and I take the closest route that heads towards down town. I can’t say I’ve spent a lot of time down that way myself, although, I have heard plenty of what goes on the further East you go. We walk, as usual, in a comfortable silence. I run a hand over my chest. Even though what happened in the café parking lot was a little while a go now, I can still feel where Levi’s hands pressed against my skin, wrestling for the badge.

"Do you think…" I break the silence as we walk along the river. "…in time you’ll be able to materialise for longer?" I look over at Levi. "You’ve only been with me for three, _four_ days; imagine what you might be able to do in a week…?" Levi sighs next to me, the laughter having long resided and his expression back to neutral. 

 _"I don’t know Eren, I…We don’t even know how long I’ll be here. We don’t know why I can do what I can do and..."_  Levi appears to struggle with a thought _. "…have you ever even seen another ghost do what I did?"_  He looks up at me.

"No, I haven’t seen a ghost interact even remotely as much with anything like you have."

_"Then why me, how come I’m able to do this shit when others like me can’t?"_

"Well, maybe you’re special…?" I shrug, smiling.

_"Maybe I’m fucked up…"_

"Come on Levi, how could this possibly be a bad thing?" It was Levi’s turn to shrug.

 _"I don’t know, but I’ve come to assume that whatever happens to me at this point in my life…"_ He looks forwards. " _… probably isn’t a good thing."_

"Levi…!" I stop, causing Levi to follow suit, stopping in front of me. I can tell he knows I don’t approve of his outlook and he looks away from me. "… I understand that a lot of shit has happened in your life, dying probably at the top of that list…but _I’ve_ decided that _this_ is a good thing, and it’ll only get better..." Levi finally looks at me, a frown masking the clench in his jaw.

 _"Even so Eren, you could have all the optimism in the fucking world, but what’s the point… so what if I can interact with your world, it doesn’t change anything?"_  I knew he was right to a degree, Levi being able to crush a coke can or punch me on the shoulder wasn’t gonna change our circumstances.

At least not in the long run…

"Even so…" I reach my hand out, almost like a new compulsion, and run my hand over Levi’s shoulder, watching it go through like air. He’s become a little more solid again and the blue in his eyes is already coming back. "...whilst you’re here, and whilst I have you, every step of progress is good in my eyes, no matter _how_ short term it may be." I place my hand on my hips and drop my head to the side. "Plus, I’ve decided to be the optimistic one in this relationship…" Levi raises his eyebrows.

 _"Relationship?"_  He crosses his arms and I take my hands off my hips, shrugging nonchalantly.

"Y-yeah, you know, like partners…"

_"But you already have a partner."_

"I know, Jean’s fine and all that but, I just don’t think he gets me like you do…" I smile, making Levi roll his eyes. "Plus, he’s evidently dating my sister now so… yeah… I actually kinda forgot about that for a second, I should have asked Armin about it…" I see Levi snap his fingers in front of my face.

_"Focus Eren…"_

"Right, sorry… anyway, let’s just focus on the current job at hand, we’ll go talk to the Magnolia’s, then deal with your existential dilemma afterwards…and then…" I shrug again. "…everything else…"

 _"And then everything else…?"_ I nod, both of us silently daunted over what 'everything else' might entail.

 

We get to the end of the river edge, near the dock and take a left, heading up the main high street of down town Shiganshina. The houses already begin to change, becoming more concrete, making the surroundings appear duller. The streets are littered with weeds and various other questionable items, from garbage to abandoned shopping trollies.

"So… you actually grew up around here?" I peer around, not being able to picture Levi living in an area like this at all.

" _Y_ _eah, what of it, not good enough for Eren Jaeger?"_  I quickly raise my hands, shaking my head.

"No, no it’s just… you’re so together and… tidy as a person. I can’t really picture you growing up here."

 _"You think, maybe, I appear that way_ because _I grew up somewhere like this…?"_ I frown for a second and think about it, if someone was forced to live somewhere dilapidated and filthy, it makes sense they’d do everything in their power to not reflect that once they leave.

"I guess that makes sense…" I turn to look at him. "…did you want to go have a look at anything first, like your old address or something?" Levi looks up at me, face showing absolutely no enthusiasm for that suggestion.

 _"Let’s just go talk to the kid’s parents Eren, this isn’t gonna turn into the fucking Levi tour."_  Okay, no going down memory lane then… I take the piece of paper out of my pocket that I wrote the family’s address on.

"We take a left on ford street and that’ll take us along the right road, we’re looking for a number fifteen…" We walk passed an old factory looking building with small groups hanging around in packs, no doubt exchanging things I should arrest them for. God I’m glad I don’t have to wear a cop uniform anymore. A couple of people wander around on their own, quite aimlessly, nobody else giving them any acknowledgement what-so-ever.

 _"Don’t look at them…"_ I turn my head and catch Levi looking away _. "They’re dead Eren and we don’t want them knowing you can see them."_  I quickly glance over to the roaming bodies again then back to Levi.

"Why?" He sighs.

_"Because they were most likely OD’s, crack addicts whilst they were alive. It was a massive problem whilst I was around, part of the reason I had to infiltrate the Titan’s…"_

"Wait, you remember!? D-do you remember anything else?" Levi stops for a moment, appearing to really take in what he’d said.

_"…No…"_

"What about--?"

" _Dying? No Eren, I don’t remember anything from my actual job, just… being around here I guess is bringing back some general information. I obviously spent a lot of time in these parts and a massive organization within the Titans operates over the further North East side of the river, so, we’re not actually that far away from where I supposedly died."_  Levi looks over to me and a sickly feeling spreads through my stomach. I can tell Levi sees it cross my face because he smiles, a humourless smile. " _I guess you’re not so up for the Levi tour either now…"_ I ignore his comment and switch back to the original topic.

"So, what… you think the OD’d ghosts will be dangerous?" Levi accepts my diversion of topic and shrugs lightly.

 _"I don’t really know but, going with Hange’s theory so far, emotions affecting a ghost’s ability to interact with the real world…"_  Levi looks as if he’s thinking about how to word his explanation and gestures a hand out lazily. " _…drugs affect the human’s body in a multitude of ways, but, one of the most dangerous as a secondary effect is its manipulations of a person’s emotions. Someone high on an A class drug could become incredibly unpredictable, and more often than not, aggressive. If you think about it, there’s no reason this wouldn’t apply to when they’re dead as well. An emotionally unstable ghost could cause havoc. When I got slightly pissed off I could lob a small object…"_  Levi gestures subtly to a middle aged man yelling, and banging his shoulder heavily against the wall. " _…imagine what he could do."_ I could see Levi’s point and made sure I didn’t give any indication of seeing the other ghost.

"So what if a ghost was to attack me…?" I try and think about the movies I’ve watched in the past. "…what exactly am I supposed to do, could I defend myself?" I look over to Levi who makes a rather noncommittal sound.

_"I dunno…"_

"Well, I feel like we should entertain the possibility, I need to know what I should do…d-do I need to get some holy water…?" Yes, I was being serious. Levi actually turns to look up at me for that, face taking on a 'please tell me you’re not serious' expression.

 _"Jesus Christ Eren, beside, that’s for demons…"_  I look down at him again, roaming my eyes subtly but greedily up and down his body. I shrug.

"I don’t see any difference…" Levi goes to shove me for that, but obviously, his hand just goes through my arm. I hear him swear quietly under his breath which makes me laugh.

_"You’re lucky we’re on different plains of existence brat…"_

"Salt!" I snap my fingers at Levi, clearly expressing my genius. "Ghosts don’t like salt!"

_"You what…see that on Supernatural or something kid?"_

"NO!" Yes! "…we could try it when we get back; I’ll throw a little at you and see what happens…" I smile, actually quite excited over the prospect.

_"No, not happening…"_

"Oh, come oooon! It’ll be good for me to know, in case something bad ever happens." Levi sighs, but seems to take my reasoning into account. I know I can’t take all of my knowledge from the shows my sister use to watch but, I mean, I haven’t exactly got a text book to go by or anything. Thinking through the things I’ve seen on TV is a start, salt, iron and grave digging… grave? I should ask Levi about that, although, of course he’s not gonna remember, or know, what happened to his body… but Hange might. I look over to the ghost next to me and take a mental note, whatever happens to a ghost’s body could have a big impact on how they move on.

 

 

We walk on a bit further, the street getting quieter as less and less people are around. Every so often a couple of children run past us and I look down at my watch, noticing the local schools have probably just been let out. We follow the rest of my directions and eventually find ourselves stood at the end of number fifteen’s driveway. I walk up to the front door, Levi by my side, and knock confidently.

"Now just let me do all the talking, alright". I smile and glance over to him.

_"Is that supposed to be fucking funny…?"_

"Just a little ghost humour, you know, to keep the spirits…high…" I wiggle my eyebrows.

_"Fuck sake kid, it’s hardly the time for fucking short jokes…"_

"Well that was both a short _and_ ghost joke, its official, I’ve peeked as a comedic genius…" Levi crosses his arms, facing forward towards the door.

 _"Don’t quit your day job."_ I chuckle humourlessly.

"Rate I’m going, I’ll be put on probation before I _can_ quit… or I’ll be locked up for being crazy…" I shrug casually, meaning it as a light joke, but I can see the flicker of concern go through Levi’s eyes. I take my attention back to the door, listening for any sign of someone being home. I knock again.

"OKAY, OKAY, HOLD ON A SECOND, FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST!" Levi and I glance at each other, raising our eyebrows.

"Well, she sounds like she’s gonna be pleasant…" I smile unconvincingly and sigh. I definitely meet some… interesting people on this job. The door opens a minute later revealing a short, ginger haired woman with a cigarette in one hand and a glass of wine in the other. Her expression suggests she was about to mouth off to whoever made her get up for the door, but once her eyes look up at me she smiles, clearly quickly adjusting her approach to the stranger at the door.

" _She thinks you’re cute; use it to our advantage…"_  I hold my tongue before responding to Levi and remind myself that, to the rest of the world, I was on my own. 

"Hello?" Mrs Magnolia puts her cigarette out, flicking it into her own front yard before resting her now free hand on the door frame. I give her my most charming smile, a smile that has never really failed me in the past, making up for my somewhat sensitive temperaments.

"Hello Mrs Magnolia, I am detective Eren Jaeger…" I take my badge out from inside my jacket, holding it up for her to see. "…I was wondering if I would be able to come inside and ask you a few questions regarding your daughter, Isabelle." The woman’s face drops for a second but she composes it quite quickly.

"I’ve already discussed everything there is to discuss with the police, but…" She opens the door gesturing for me to enter. "…I don’t see why not." I’m having second thoughts on whether this was a good idea or not, but step inside the house nonetheless, Levi stepping in swiftly behind me before the door closes.

"Mrs Magnolia--"

"Lilly…" I smile at her, following her into the living room.

"Lilly… I wanted first to offer my condolences regarding your daughter." Lilly smiles back, gesturing for me to take a seat.

"Thank you detective, she really _was_ an angel..." She goes to light another cigarette and sits down in her own chair. "…Always smiling, never stopped asking questions, a little curious thing she was…" I feel the cushions shift gently beside me, Levi taking a seat on my right. I take a glance in his direction whilst Lilly lights her cigarette, his eyes seemingly taking in everything the room has to offer. "So… what did you want to know detective?" I have to think about this for a second because I’m not really sure what I’m looking for in these questions. I just need something to stand out as… odd.

"Miss Magnolia--?"

"Lilly…" She corrects me abruptly, the fluttering of her eyelashes contrasting disturbingly with the large dark bags under her eyes.

"Lilly, you have a lovely home…" She really didn’t, but I say it as I adjust myself on her couch. "I wanted to ask you about the kind of child Isabelle was, in addition to the curious nature you’ve already spoken of. Did she have any particular interests, how did she get on with the rest of the family…?" Lilly sighs and takes a drag of her cigarette.

"She was just you’re average kid really… had friends, she liked animals, had a bit of a temper though…"

"What kind of temper, did that ever cause her any trouble, say, at school?"

"A little bit, it was more of a home thing really, she was only just on her way to womanhood, she’d recently learnt to answer back - that kind of thing…" She takes a sip of her wine. "…but that was normal for a kid her age…" I take in Lilly’s body language; I kind of expected a more emotional reaction after the woman having had lost her daughter not a month before.

_"Ask about the dad…"_

"What about Isabelle’s father, how involved was he?" Lilly leans forward, tapping her cigarette on the ash tray balancing on the armchair.

"What exactly has _this_ got to do with the hit and run…I was told the case was all sorted out?" It was a reasonable question, and one I wasn’t sure how to answer.

 _"Tell her individual victim profiles need to be thoroughly put together for the records, in case anything more ever comes of the case…"_ I run a hand through my hair, Levi’s voice reassuring me by my side. " _…tell her its procedure, they never argue with procedure."_  I relay what Levi told me to say and Lilly sits back in her chair, seemingly convinced. God, I wished I’d had Levi since the beginning; guy could get out of any situation with an abundance of confidence. Mind, I bet he could just intimidate people into telling him pretty much anything when he worked as a detective.

"Isabelle and her father weren’t particularly close, but he loved her…"

"May I ask where your husband is today?" A flicker of annoyance crosses Lilly’s face.

"He’s at work, why, m-my husband hasn’t done anything wrong…"

"No, no Mrs Mag - _Lilly_ , I wasn’t suggesting anything as such, I merely would have liked to have listened to what he had to say about his daughter." She nods, taking another drag from the cigarette. The lady wasn’t really much to looks at, the report said she was in her early thirties, but I could have pegged her for a decade older. Her ginger hair has obvious evidence of past dyeing, the roots coming out far darker than the rest of her light strawberry blonde hair. I’m about to ask another question when a ringing sounds from the other room, causing Lilly to stand from her chair.  

"If you’ll excuse me, I need to get that." She leaves the room; heading for what I assume is the kitchen and I turn to Levi, keeping my voice low.

"What are you thinking?" He frowns and turns his head to look at me.

 _"She was awfully quick to defend her husband from no particular accusation, and when you mentioned the girl’s school her shoulders stiffened momentarily."_  I didn’t notice that.

"I agree about the husband, that was weird… you think maybe Isabelle got her temper from her father?" Levi nods his head slowly, deep in thought. "… Something could have happened with Isabelle’s school?" Levi shrugs.

_"Possible that Isabelle took out some frustration from home at school, or…"_

"What?"

 _"Maybe the school got involved with something that took place at home, girl comes into class with a black eye and a solemn expression, any good willed teacher is going to want to say something. However, there’s no way of knowing without asking out right, and I get the impression if you push her much she’s gonna become pretty stubborn."_ Yeah, I could see that happening too.

"Whether Isabelle’s father was abusive or not, that wouldn’t explain what’s making her latch onto this world, surely she’s gonna want to get as far away from it as possible."

_"Home abuse is never going to be that simple Eren, young girl gets abused by her father, the girl starts lashing out at others, she becomes erratic, her behaviour becomes reckless …she runs out into the middle of the road and gets hit by a car...what makes you stay, what stops you from leaving it behind?"_

"But she doesn’t strike me as that kind of child when I’ve spoken to her…" I can hear Mrs Magnolia talking to someone on the phone in the other room.

_"Well, I guess death changes people Eren, I don’t know!"_

"It doesn’t appear to have changed you, from what I’ve heard…"

 _"Yeah well…"_ Levi looks up at me. " _…I’m fucking special remember…"_ I smile at him, pleased he’s taken on board my outlook.

"Damn right…" I then look down at Levi’s hands because he won’t stop fidgeting. "You alright?" I frown lightly.

 _"Yeah, I’m fine Eren, just… this whole shitty house stinks of cigarettes, which is simultaneously the most disgusting and withdrawal triggering thing I’ve had to deal with so far…"_ I chuckle and take a mental note on how we could try tackle his nicotine addiction later. " _Whoa Eren!"_  Levi takes me out of my thoughts and I look up at him, his head gesturing to the door way. I look up and see a small head appear from around the door frame, tiny fingers clinging around the scratched wood. I lean forward slightly and make sure my voice comes out gentle.

"Hey, can I ask what your name is?" The kid doesn’t respond for a minute and looks over to the other room. I think maybe he’s waiting for his mother to come back inside, however, after a moment of deciding the coast is clear, the small boy walks gingerly into the room, his mother not returning any time soon.

"M-my name is Furlan…" Furlan? Isabelle’s younger brother, I forgot she had a brother. "W-who are you?" I take my badge out of my pocket, keeping my voice low.

"My names Eren…"

"Are you here about my sister!?" Furlan looks at my badge and walks a little closer.

"Yes Furlan, I’m here about your sister, were you close with her?" He nods, tears starting to gather in his eyes. A normal reaction from a close family member, something I would have expected. "Did you want to tell me anything about her, Furlan, what was your sister like?" I cross my arms and rest them on my knees so I can lean closer to the boy, without appearing too intimidating. He stands there for a moment, coveting his right arm, rubbing his other hand up and down it. I take in the almost subconscious gesture and wait for the boy to speak.

"Sh-she was a good big sis, she helped me with a lot of things… it’s really lonely without her here." Tears streak down the kids cheeks and I want to reach out to comfort him, but I don’t, in fear of scaring him away. I glance over briefly to Levi then back to Furlan, who looks at me with a funny expression, wiping his tears away. "Who were you talking to?" The sad expression is temporarily replaced with a look of confusion.

"Your mother?"

"No, a moment ago, I was watching you talk to somebody…" Furlan looks to where Levi’s sat. "…is it an imaginary friend…" He looks back to me. "…because I have one of those, he was friends with Isabelle too, but now it’s just the two of us." I nod my head, smiling at the boy.

"Yeah? How long have you had an imaginary friend Furlan, does he make you feel safe?" With children around Furlan’s age, it was normal for them to have an imaginary friend, but significantly more frequent in children who experience neglect or abuse. It wasn’t my field, but Ymir’s girlfriend works in the child services department and I picked up a bit over our time spent together.

"Yeah, he keeps me company when nobody else is home."

"Are you left on your own a lot Furlan?" He nods and looks down, scuffing his shoes on the carpet.

"Isabelle always looked after me before, when… no, yeah, it’s just me now…" He leaves the sentence hanging then peers up at Levi’s seat. "Does your friend make you feel safe?" I look over at Levi and nod my own head.

"Yeah, Furlan, he does…" I feel Levi move beside me but keep my eyes on the kid.

"Dad always said that imaginary friends were stupid and that I should make real friends like a proper kid…" I clench my jaw, getting a pretty good image of Furlan’s father.

"Well, I say you can be friends with whomever you want Furlan, and I have a badge so I must be right…" Furlan chuckles which makes me smile, his own smile making his eyes look brighter. I think about what I want to ask the boy before his mother comes back through. "Furlan, do you know when your dad will be back home?" At the mention of his father Furlan stiffens slightly.

"He doesn’t usually get back until late, I try to be in bed before, so I don’t really know…" I nod my head reassuring Furlan his answer was enough.

"Thank you Furlan, you’ve been very helpful, and I’m very sorry you had to lose your sister like you did…" The boy starts to tear up again, nodding at what I say. "…But I have no doubt she’s still looking out for you, even now…"

 _"Eren…!"_ I jump at Levi’s voice, his tone suggesting he’s thought of something important, however, before I can ask, footsteps fill the hallway.

"FURLAN! What did I say about staying upstairs!?" Mrs Magnolia marches into the room, grabbing Furlan by his arm and starts yanking him out of the room. "You shouldn’t bother the nice detective…" She turns to me and I stand from my chair. "…I’m very sor--"

"That’s quite alright _Mrs_ Magnolia…" I am sure to use her formal name on purpose. "…That won’t be necessary, your son was very helpful and wasn’t a bother in the slightest…" My tone makes her release his arm, but the boy runs off anyway, regarding me with one last glance before he leaves the room. "I think I have heard everything I need, thank you for your time." I start to head across the room, Mrs Magnolia moving to the side to let me pass.

"Well, I will be telling my husband that you dropped by; I hope there won’t be any further problems in the case, as we were told in confidence that it was closed." I stop in the middle of the hallway, turning to look down at the mother, Levi stopping by my side.

"Good day Mrs Magnolia." I have more I want to say to the woman but reframe from turning it into more than it needed to be. "Again, my condolences for your loss." And with that I step out of her front door, listening to it close harder than necessary behind me. I sigh, running a hand down my face as we make our way slowly back down the street.

"So now what…?" I look over to Levi, needing him to give me some kind of guidance because….

Jesus Christ, it’s been a long day…

 _"Well…"_ Levi appears to swallow, leaning his head back. " _…the boy was definitely a big give away…"_

"You had a thought whilst I was talking to him?" He sighs and looks over to me; the blues in his eyes now back to full colour.

_"What you said to him, about his sister looking out for him even now… maybe that’s why."_

"You think Isabelle’s spirit is trapped here out of concern for her brother?" It seemed plausible I guess.

 _"Think about it Eren, two kids grow up in a rough home, dads abusive, mums a drunk. All you have is each other; the older sister takes care of her younger brother, protecting him from the harsh reality of their parents. Dad comes home tired; he’s been drinking with mum passed out on the couch. You move in the way so your younger brother doesn’t get hit…"_  Levi’s voice is void of emotion, but the confidence in which he says it causes a knot to form in my stomach. "... _You are all that stands in the way of your brother and a black eye, so when you die, the last thing you want to do is leave him alone."_

"Makes sense…" I swallow the ball that forms in my throat. "…she’s only eight though…"

 _"Some kids are forced to grow up a lot earlier than they should have to…"_  A flicker of emotion goes through his eyes and I can’t help but think back to mine and Mikasa’s childhood. We were definitely forced to grow up quicker than we should have, especially Mikasa, with mum gone and Dad M.I.A.

"He definitely responded to the mention of his father, plus he seemed to have something wrong with his right arm… maybe bruises, there’s no way of knowing." I sigh. "I find it strange that Isabelle’s never mentioned her brother to me…"

_"Maybe she doesn’t really remember much…It could be predominantly sub-conscious, physically she knows she’s stuck here, but it’s her sub-conscious that knows why…"_

"What are we supposed to do, get the boy out of there; we have no way of proving any of it." Levi thinks about it for a second.

 _"True, I guess, you need to find someone willing to testify so a social worker can visit, and then it’s up to them to get the boy out."_  Sounds simple enough, I sigh again _. "We could try Furlan’s school, enquire to see if any of his teachers had ever seen anything out of the ordinary."_  I stop walking and turn to Levi, taking in his momentarily questioning gaze.

"That’s actually a good idea…" I let out a light chuckle. "…you know I’m really seriously starting to wonder how I managed to do anything before you were here." I frown. "…I didn’t realise how inept at my _job_ I was before I met you…" This makes Levi chuckle back.

_"Sorry, kid, it’s a gift..."_

 

Once we’re out of the neighbourhood we head back to the precinct, I would have suggested we take a bus but the weather’s quite nice, so we walk. I think the trip in all was quite successful, definitive signs in the Magnolia household have certainly pointed us in a direction, now I just need to talk to Krista as to how to go about it next. By the time we get back to the police department, the suns already started to set; I look up at the building then across the road. I spot Isabelle sitting on the bench.

"I’ll quickly run upstairs and pick my things up…" I gesture my arm over to Isabelle who’s waving at us frantically. "…why don’t you stay and talk with Isabelle whilst I’m gone?" I start crossing the road, Levi on my tail.

_"Are you gonna be alright on your own, you know, after this morning?"_

"Yeah, I’ll just be in and out, I have no interest in talking to anyone else today." I wave Levi off dismissively and walk up to Isabelle.

"Hey! GUYS!!" She beams a smile at me then turns it to Levi.

"Hey Isabelle…" I take Levi’s badge out of my back pocket. "…I just have to pop into the station but do you think I could leave this here so Levi can stay with you?" She looks at the badge questioningly but just shrugs, turning to the other ghost.

"Of course!!" I run my thumb over the badge and look for somewhere safe I could put it whilst I was gone. The last thing I want is for someone to steal it.

"Would it be okay if I tucked it into here..." I gesture to the large array of fresh flowers left on her bench and Isabelle nods her head enthusiastically. "…now this is an extremely important object so keep it safe, yeah?"

"Okay dokay Eren!" She looks up at me then over to Levi. "…and if anyone comes too close…"

 _"We’ll scare the shit out of them…"_  Levi finishes for Isabelle, which makes me smile and I slowly start walking away from the two of them. I glance back, seeing Isabelle begin to talk to Levi, and whatever she asks causes a smile to spread across his face. I wish I knew what it was. I cross the road and peer behind me one last time, Isabelle still talking Levi’s ear off but he looks up at me and I smile before going inside the building. I head up in the elevator and breathe a sigh of relief when it appears pretty much empty inside, everyone else having either gone home or on a call.

I walk over to my desk and pick up the few things I left behind this morning, rummaging through the array of case files I never got round to organising. I spot the Wall Rose folder and shove it in my bag, since its Friday I won’t be in the office over the weekend, so best take my work back with me. I put the strap of my bag over my shoulder and start heading back to the elevator.

"Eren…" I freeze mid stride, Erwin’s voice making my blood run cold. I turn around, the fucking tree of a man striding towards me. "I’d hoped to catch you at some point before the day ended."

"Sir…" I don’t say anything else.

"Eren, what happened earlier…" He sighs. "…clearly tensions have been running high due to the recent circumstances and difficult cases that have presented themselves. Have you calmed yourself down now?" My fists clench involuntarily at his question but I release them a second later, Levi’s voice in my mind telling me to stay calm.

"Yes Sir…" The next words taste bitter in my mouth but I know it’s the best way forwards. "…I’m sorry Sir, for my behaviour earlier and it won’t happen again. You’re probably right and everything that’s happened… I just need to focus on these cases and keep my head clear…" I adjust the strap of my bag and make sure to not lose eye contact with Erwin.

"Good, I’m glad to hear it." He smiles, expression not showing any sign of bringing up other particular topics from earlier. "Are you heading back, I shall share the elevator down with you if that is okay?" I try to smile back but I know it doesn’t reach my eyes.

"Of course…" I gesture for him to go in before stepping inside myself. Erwin presses the button and we stand there, side by side, in silence. I take a deep breath, keeping my head clear, but it comes out shaky when I exhale. I feel my hands in my pocket but there’s nothing there, the usual security I’ve become accustomed to from Levi’s badge left outside with the ghost. I think about trying to make some kind of conversation but I have no idea where to start, so, I opt for continued silence. Just before we reach the ground floor Erwin turns his body slightly towards me, his voice coming out gentle.

"Eren, I trust you’ll do as you say and stay out of trouble…" He looks me in the eye before turning back to face the door. "Despite what can be said in the heat of the moment, you are a capable detective Eren, and I wouldn’t want anything to get in the way of the bright future you could have." Erwin’s words remind me of what Levi said to me earlier in the day, in this same lift.

Everybody seems more concerned for my future, rather than what happened in Levi’s past.

"Yes…Sir…" I don’t know what to say, but the elevator door dings before I have to think much more about it. We both step out; I’m a few steps behind Erwin and we head for the front entrance, a couple of other people around in the foyer. Erwin opens the door, letting me step out first; I do and notice Levi and Isabelle still sat on the bench up the road. Levi looks up, his eyes obviously catching sight of Erwin as the man pats me on the shoulder.

"Have a good weekend Eren…" I glance up at him and try smiling back; I don’t wish him the same but manage a slight nod of the head. My hearts going a million miles a minute, not really sure what to make of what just happened. I jog across the road, more than ready to get out of here. I spot Levi stand up from the bench, a slight look of concern passing over his usually passive expression. I run a hand through my hair as I slow down, walking up to them.

"H-hey, we should probably get going…" I can tell they’ve both noticed my rather obvious distress but I try to act like everything’s fine. I pick Levi’s badge back up from amongst the flowers, shoving it back into my pocket.

 _"Eren… what happened?"_  I turn to see Levi standing right in front of me. I glance to a couple people walking passed, waiting for them to get a decent enough distance away.

"Nothing Levi, it was fine, Erwin just…" I look down into Levi’s eyes, the concern still apparent. "…he just wanted to settle things from earlier, he wanted to make nice."

_"And…?"_

"And I soccer punched him in the jaw…" I chuckle lightly at Levi’s scowl, which causes him to then roll his eyes. "…I apologised again and, hopefully pushed any suspicion away from myself, told him it was…" I shrug. "…stress or whatever…" Levi seems to relax a little at my explanation.

"Are you alright Eren?" I look down to Isabelle.

"Yeah, Isabelle, just work stuff…" She smiles and looks over to Levi. "So what did you guys talk about?" I look down at Levi, our height difference never ceasing to make me smile.

 _"Nothing much, she does ask an awful lot of questions though."_  Levi doesn’t seem impressed with that, but I can tell he quite likes the girl, she gives off this sense of upbeat youth that’s hard to stray away from. Isabelle laughs at what Levi says but doesn’t deny it.

"I just wanted to get to know him better, since you’re _such_ good friends, it only seems right." I smile down at her.

"Well Levi and I need to go now but we’ll try come see you some time at the weekend, okay?" We’re about to head off when I notice her stand up from the bench, the first time I’ve ever seen her do that. Before I can ask, she takes a small step towards me and reaches out, her hand going through my body which causes a shiver to shoot down my spine.

"Sorry…" She looks up at me. "…I just thought I’d check." Before I can ask what she was checking, Isabelle disappears in front of my eyes.

"What was that?" I turn to Levi who stares at the spot Isabelle was just standing in.

 _"Stepping away from the bench must have taken quite_ a _bit out of her so she couldn’t appear in_ a _physical manifestation any more…"_  He looks up at me. " _…Plus,_ I _asked her about the extent of what she can touch, she told me she couldn’t touch anything apart from that bench. When_ I _told her what happened with you, she wanted to try it."_  I run a hand over the spot Isabelle’s cold touch still resided.

"That’s strange, her extent of interaction with this world is so limited..." We start walking down the street. "…it’s such a contrast to yours…" Levi just nods his head and we walk the rest of the way in relative silence.

 

Once we make it back to the apartment I can tell Mr Pixis is stood in the mail area, the cold extending to the front entrance.

"Eren, my boy!" I hold the door open and wave at the older ghost. "How has your day been, still got your friend there I see…?" I smile at him, already making my way up the stairs.

"It’s been good Mr Pixis Sir, thank you… and yep…" I turn to face forward, continuing up the first floor. "…he’s still here."

We get into the apartment, the place itself seemingly void of life and I put my bag down over on the desk.

"Well…" I shove my jacket off and gesture my hands out. "…I’m not really sure whether it’s been much of a productive day or not. We didn’t get anything helpful regarding your situation and we just found out that Isabelle was from a pretty shitty family home." I sit down on the couch, burying my head in my hands. I can feel Levi sit down beside me so I glance up, seeing the ghost manoeuvre himself so that he’s sat cross legged, facing me on the seat. I run a hand through my hair again, lifting my head to look at him.

"What?!" I frown.

 _"Just… sit up and face me."_  I raise a sceptical eyebrow but do as he says. I kick my shoes off, undo the top button of my shirt and roll my sleeves up. Turning around in my seat, I cross my legs, the both of us now facing each other.

"Now what?"

 _"How long have you been speaking to Mr Pixis down stairs Eren?"_   I shrug, finding the change of topic rather out of the blue.

"Um, since I came out of the hospital, so...nearly a month I guess… why?"

 _"Have you ever seen him anywhere else, other than the mail area that is…?"_  I shake my head. " _Have you ever seen him interact with anything?"_  I shrug again, still shaking my head.

"No, I haven’t really seen him do anything much, maybe move a small letter occasionally but, apart from standing around waiting for people to collect their mail, that’s it… why, Levi?" He looks as if he’s trying to figure something out, like he’s uncomfortable with an idea…

 _"Don’t you think it’s weird, Isabelle and Mr Pixis… you’ve known and interacted with them for longer than you have with me, yet…"_ He sighs. " _…you and Hange suggest that by being around you, that’s why I have become more in contact with this world, but how come that doesn’t apply to anyone else, how come, with all the times you’ve sat with Isabelle at that bench, she still can’t move two inches without exhausting her energy, how come, after every morning talking to that old man down stairs, he still can’t lift a single package… why am I the only one you affect?"_   I go quiet for a second, considering what Levi’s said.

"I don’t know…" My voice is quiet. "… Maybe because--"

 _"And don’t say it’s because I’m fucking special Eren! There was nothing special about me whilst I was alive, why would that be any different now that I’m dead!?"_  I shake my head, because I didn’t want to argue again.

"Levi…" I don’t raise my voice this time, keeping it gentle."…I still don’t know the answer to… a-any of your questions but…" I sigh, not really knowing what else I could say to reassure Levi that it doesn’t matter… at least not to me.

 _"Put your hand out…"_  I lift my head up, raising another sceptical eyebrow, but again, do as the ghost says. " _No… like this…"_ Levi lifts his own hand, holding it in a patty cake gesture, palm facing me as I do the same. Once my hands out, suspended between the two of us, Levi places his own hand closer so it almost touches mine. " _When I grabbed my badge earlier, it was… fucking exhausting; it felt like this massive weight had been placed between my temples."_ His eyes focus on our hands, his forehead crinkling ever so slightly in concentration. " _But when you grabbed my wrist, it was like that weight lifted for a moment, and… it was the most alive I had felt in… so long."_  He doesn’t lift his eyes but I can see the colours swirling around. I don’t say anything, not wanting to distract from his concentration. " _For those few moments, I felt like your world and my world were one and the same…"_  His fingers brush mine, his forefinger going straight through my hand _. "…and then it all just came crashing down… the weight, the reality… then nothing…"_ He sighs again and finally looks up at me.

"Levi…"

 _"I don’t know how I’m doing it, but, the inconsistency of it's driving me crazy."_  He chuckles dryly at the end. We sit there for a while, both our hands still inches apart. I look into Levi’s eyes as they concentrate on the touch; I want nothing more than to give him all the answers he wants and more. Anything that would make him smile and laugh like he did earlier, and if my touch could make him feel that alive, then I would sit here patiently until we figured it out. " _Talk about something…"_

"What do you mean?"

 _"Anything, just… the silence is weirdly distracting, I need something else to focus on… just tell me something, anything…"_  He shrugs without looking up. " _…why did you become a detective?"_  I shuffle myself in my seat a bit, making sure I don’t move my hand. I clear my throat.

"Uh, well… I decided I wanted to work for the police when I was about fifteen…" Levi nods, his eyes flicking up to me and I take it as a silent gesture to go on. "…I noticed a lot of bad in the world and I wanted to help fight that I guess, I was kind of a hot head and always getting into trouble." I clench my jaw slightly. "My mum said I’d be better off putting that energy into something productive, so..." I stop for a moment; I haven’t really spoken about this much with anyone apart from my sister and Hange. "…My-um… my mum died when I was fifteen, she was killed in an altercation involving gang activity…just, the uh, wrong place, wrong time kinda thing, you know." I can feel Levi’s eyes on me this time, but I keep my head down, the cold from Levi’s hand still seeping into my own.

 _"You don’t have to talk about this Eren; I just suggested the topic on a whim…"_ I shrug lightly and look up.

"No, its fine, I mean, I know a lot about you so, it only seems fair…" I smile, trying to reassure Levi that it was in fact okay. "Because of the circumstances, my mum’s death was never really _solved_ and… that was it really. Mikasa and I were left with a loss stricken father, until he left us a couple years later, then we were on our own. I became a detective because I didn’t want any other kid living with those kinds of questions or that absence in their lives…" My voice sounds small towards the end. "…I just wanted to help people." The touch on my fingertips warms up ever so slightly, Levi still looking at them, no longer frowning in concentration.

 _"When you woke up in that hospital Eren, and by some mystical medical bullshit with…"_ Levi shrugs. " _…this… you could have ignored us like the forgotten souls people inevitably become…"_ He looks up at me, my eyes glassy from talking about my mother. " _…but you didn’t, you’ve gone out of your way on so many accounts already to help us, to help me… so I can see that, Eren…you do help people, even when you don’t think you are."_  I can feel a tear slip down my cheek and I brush it away quickly with my free hand. " _Geez, you’re as bad as Hange…"_

"Shut up…" I chuckle, still wiping my eyes with the back of my hand. Levi chuckles, a smile now completely replacing any signs of doubt. I’m about to say something, when I feel it, Levi’s fingers placing perfectly in between my own, our hands interlocking… two plains becoming one. "Holy shit…" I whisper it, all previous conversations forgotten. "…you did it." I look up at Levi, not daring to move my hand, his eyes now holding my own. I can tell it’s still taking quite a bit of concentration and energy, because his breathing appears faster than normal. I squeeze his hand back, running my thumb up the side of his and I immediately notice a change. Levi relaxes slightly, the tenseness in his shoulders disappearing.

_"It’s a hell of a lot harder than it looks…"_

"I don’t doubt it for a second…" Levi nods, his smile small but still prominent. I lean forward slightly and reach my hand out to run it through his hair, my fingers splaying through the soft raven undercut. Part of me expects Levi to push me away, but I sense him lean in closer, something akin to relief passing over his face. I close my eyes and place my forehead gently against his, the cold coming off of his body more subtle than last time. "You’re really here…" My voice is still quiet. I feel Levi untwine our fingers and I’m about to object when I feel his own long fingers run through my hair. I chuckle because it’s such a simple gesture, but it’s such a massive step. I open my eyes and look into Levi’s, both of my hands cupping the sides of his face.

I find it hard to believe how it’s only been just a few days since I met the ghost in front of me, because I can’t really remember what it was like without him. I start to wonder what I did with my time, who I talked to, and why I smiled… Levi looks down for a moment and I run my thumb gently over his cheek, then I sense his breathing quicken again. His jaw clenches and when he looks up at me, the blue is gone from his eyes, only a dim grey swirling back at me.

Not already…

 _"Eren…"_  Levi’s voice is so quiet I barely hear him.

"No, it’s fine…" My fingers start to feel colder again, and I begin to remove my hands from Levi’s face. Before I can, he grabs my wrists, the pressure of his fingertips the only thing I can feel, until I can’t… Levi’s body dims considerably, and my hands fall down into my lap. We sit there, neither of us wanting to break the silence. I rub the back of my neck and look up, I want to say something, but before I can, a vibrating makes us both jump. I sigh, taking my phone out of my pocket and see Hange’s number flashing back at me.

"Dammit Hange…" I say it quietly then answer the phone, because I know they won’t stop ringing until I do. "Hange?"

**"Helloooo EREN! Thought I’d catch up with you, see how you boys are doing!?"**

"We’re fine Han--"

 **"Brilliant, do you think I could pop over, have a chat!?"**  Sigh. I glance at Levi, his face taking on a now blank expression.

"I’m not sure it’s such a good time Hange…"

 **"Oh come on Eren, PLEASE, I won’t stay for long!"**  I close my eyes for a moment then take the phone away from my ear, peering over across the room. I put the phone back…

"You’re already here aren’t you?" As soon as I say it there’s a loud knocking at the front door.

God, dammit…

"COME ON GUYS, LET ME IN…!!" They knock again. "…I don’t care if I’m a third wheel, I swear, I just want to--!!!"

"JESUS, OKAY HANGE…!" Levi raises an eyebrow and I chuckle, silently thankful to Hange for interrupting us. I stand up from the couch and walk over to let them in.

"Thank you Eren, I just don’t like being left out of the ghostly loop, you know?" I close the door behind them and rub the back of my neck again.

"It’s fine Hange, you’re always welcome." I look across the room and see that Levi’s still sat where I left him.

"So what were you boys doing, any news from this afternoon, any progress?" Hange’s practically shaking from excitement.

"We, uh…" Before I can tell them anything, there’s another sound at the door, voices travelling through the thin wood. I take a step back, and then watch Mikasa walk into the apartment, Jean close at her heals.

"Eren?" She looks at me, surprised.

"Mikasa?" I’m equally surprised; assuming she’d be working.

"Hange?" Mikasa turns to look at my therapist, probably wondering why they were in our apartment.

"Jean!?" I peer around Mikasa, taking in my partner’s slightly concerned expression.

"What’s going on?" Mikasa gestures for Jean to close the door behind him. "Was there a problem…?" She looks to Hange. "…is my brother okay?"

"I’m fine Mikasa!" Hange steps forward.

"Yes Mikasa, your brother is doing well; I just came over…um, for uh, us t-to have a chat, just concerning a few areas I had neglected to cover in our session yesterday." Mikasa doesn’t seem overly convinced, although it’s hard to get a lot passed her. I watch Jean follow my sister further into our apartment then glance back again to Levi. He’s watching the debacle play out at the front door, his eyes catching mine. I suddenly feel very overwhelmed again, the day seemingly having gone on forever.

"How about…" Mikasa takes her gloves off and turns to the rest of us. "…we order some Chinese and catch up on a few things?" She smiles, Hange the only one mirroring her expression. Jean and I glance at each other and I look down, starting to feel slightly nauseous. "Mz Zoe, would you like to join us?" Hange nods enthusiastically, but looks at me before answering. I nod my head, telling them I would appreciate them staying.

"Yes, thank you, I’d love to Mikasa." My sister nods back. I walk back towards the couch and lean against it, crossing my arms. My shoulders tense up, not at all prepared for a lovely, family meal with my sister, her new boyfriend/ my partner, my therapist and my… I turn my head to see Levi walk around the couch to stand beside me. He looks up, his blue eyes taking me back to moments ago, the feel of his hair, and the touch of his skin…

 _"Better put on a smile Eren…"_  We both turn to look forwards, watching the other three in the room. " _… and start pretending like you haven’t got the most fucked up life ever…"_

So I do, I put on a smile, and prepare myself for the most awkward dinner I’ll probably ever have…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed the new chapter update!! Thank you so much for your continued support, I LOVE hearing your thoughts on it all and I'm so happy when I know people are enjoying it <3 Because that's why I write, for YOU guys!!  
> Keep staying cool! Smiles XD <33333
> 
> Tumblr - jovialjellyfishreaper


	7. Do You Believe In Ghosts?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoo!! chapter 7!! Hope you all enjoy!  
> I want to thank you all again for your beautiful comments and Kudos, they make me smile every time <3333  
> This chapter only covers the evening meal and we don't get that much in terms of story development but I hope you enjoy the banter none the less XD - also - there is a small Levi POV at the end which I was trying out - let me know if you like getting things from his perspective every so often <3

_"You know you’re gonna have to go back out there eventually?"_  Levi crosses his arms, looking down at me.

As soon as Mikasa decided she wanted this bullshit family dinner I hid in my room, not at all ready to take on this evening. I’m absolutely knackered from what has got to be the longest day I have ever had, I haven’t slept properly in weeks and my emotions are bouncing off of proverbial walls.

"I know… I just – I just need a minute…" I’m sat on the floor, back up against the wall with my head in my hands. "…uuugggh, I just… wanna go to sleep, and not wake up for a good couple weeks...!!" I hear Levi walk towards me and sit down by my side. 

 _"It could be worse…"_  I look up at him, my expression obviously conveying the unvoiced question, 'how could it _possibly_ be worse?' and he shrugs. " _…I dunno, but that’s what people say, right?"_  I laugh at Levi’s attempt at comfort, and then start to stand, slowly sliding myself up the wall.

"I guess best get this over with…" We walk out of my room and I take in the bizarre scene in front of us, my sister just puts the phone down, presumably from the Chinese and Hange is cornering Jean in the kitchen, probably asking him about his childhood – because they like doing that. I close my bedroom door behind me and make my way across the apartment.

"Eren, do you think you could help Hange lay the table?" My sister stops me in my tracks, giving an order in the form of a question- as per usual.  

"Sure…" I step into the kitchen, Jean seeing his opportunity to get out of whatever awkward conversation he was coerced into having.   

"Eren!?" Hange turns around to greet me. "…you feeling a bit better, taken a few minutes…?"

"I--"

"Awesome, do you think we could just have a little chat alone?!?" They gesture further into the kitchen and then turn to Jean. "If you don’t mind?" They smile and Jean leaves the kitchen, more than happy for the dismissal. Hange takes my hand, pulling me further away towards the sink where we start organising the cutlery for dinner.

"Is Levi here?" Hange keeps their voice low and I nod, watching Levi walk passed them, skimming a hand over their shoulder. "Thanks Levi!" The small gesture from Levi seems to make Hange very happy and brings them some kind of comfort, so I made sure to tell Levi to do it whenever they were around.

"What did you want to talk about Hange?" My voice is tired and I keep my attention to the job at hand.

"I just wanted a quick catch up on where things are with you guys, but also…" Hange stops to take something out of their pocket. "…I managed to get the prescription we were working on, so you can go pick that up this weekend." I take the white piece of paper from their hand, a small smile making its way onto my face.

 _"Prescription for what?"_  I lift my head in Levi’s direction and reply quietly.

"Just something to help me sleep…"

 _"Is it really that much of a problem?"_  Levi’s eyes flicker with their usual speck of concern.

"It’s not a big deal, just… starting to catch up with me…"

"It’s something we’ve discussed a few times in sessions but never really got to the route of." Hange looks at me thoughtfully and I have to glance away, not liking the scrutiny towards the inside of my brain.

"Where can I pick it up?"

"Um, just at the Shiganshina hospital…" My shoulders immediately stiffen at their answer. "… the pharmacy isn’t too difficult to find and that piece of paper should ensure you don’t have to wait around too long…" Hange looks at me for a second and places a hand on my shoulder. "…is that okay Eren, if it’s a problem for you to go there then maybe your sister…"

"No, no it’s fine." I smile at them, shoving the piece of paper into my pocket and the sinking feeling back down inside my body. "I just haven’t been back there since I got out, but I’ll go get it tomorrow." Hange nods at me and seems to try change the subject.

"So how was the rest of your day, after what happened with Erwin?" I sigh and proceed to fill Hange in on what happened, from my lunch with Armin, Levi grabbing his badge, to our meeting at the Magnolia house. I give them the short rushed version before my sister comes over, leaving out some parts - like what happened moments before Hange came over.

There’s a buzz at the door to signal the food’s arrival so we exit the kitchen, setting the plates and cutlery around the table. I put Hange opposite myself and Jean beside them so my sister can sit next to me, a set up preparing me for the inevitable interrogation to come. Once the food is lain out, we sit down and I gingerly push the chair at the end of the table out so Levi can sit down across from me. We sit and eat in relative silence for about ten minutes, before my sister decides to break it.

"So…Eren?" Oh God it’s begun. "Did you want to talk about what happened with your boss this morning?" It wasn’t a question I was expecting, and certainly not something I thought my sister would know about, at least not yet. I swallow the rice in my mouth and put my folk down.

"W-what do you mean?" I choose to play dumb.

"I mean the fact you nearly got into a physical altercation with your superior and you were threatened with a suspension." My eyes widen and, yeah, playing dumb definitely isn’t gonna get me out of this.

"How do you even know about that!?" Mikasa keeps her face impassive, not showing her anger regarding my behaviour, but I can tell if we were alone, it would be quite different.

"Jean told me…"

"Jesus Christ Jean! Is that how it’s gonna be now, you just gonna tattle every time I have a minor fuck up?!" I look at him over the table, but he just glances at my sister instead – don’t look at her for help you chicken!

"Eren, Jean told me because he cares about you!" I cross my arms, sitting back in my chair and I make sure the sarcasm is thick in my voice.

"Well, as long as it’s because he _cares_ …" Hange’s staying very quiet through the whole thing, but I know they’re taking in every single thing said – they’ll wanna revisit it all in our next session.

"Eren!" Mikasa pinches the bridge of her nose and sighs before continuing. "Stop being so childish! I wanted to apologise for not telling you about us beforehand but you made it rather difficult, I can hardly get a word in edge ways with you at the moment."

"Jeez, I’m sorry I didn’t sit down to listen to you talk about your new boyfriend in whimsical anticipation Mikasa…" I knew I was being difficult, but that’s what happens when your mental and emotional stability is pushed to the edge. "How ‘bout next time, we buy some snacks and have a sleep over, I’ll even braid your hair..."

"For God sake Eren…!"

"Eren…" Jean tries to jump in, defending his girlfriend I suppose. "You told me earlier that you were okay with… _this_!" He gestures between himself and my sister.

"Actually Jean, I said I didn’t _hate_ you, there’s a big difference!" I’m leant further over the table, Jean and I getting slightly in each other’s faces.

"Whooaaa, Okay!" Hange raises their hands in the air, bringing the attention in the room onto themselves. "How about we all just take a deeeep breath and settle down." I sit back in my chair and actually do as Hange suggests, running a hand through my hair. I glance over to Levi in his chair at the end, his face showing no response to the conversation, although I think I see a spark of amusement in his eyes. "Now, why don’t we talk about something else, like…uh, like umm…" I feel Hange kick me under the table and I wince.

Bloody psychologists…

Sigh

"Sorry…" I turn to my sister. "How’s work been, and...stuff?"  My sister seems to debate whether to take the bait for a change of topic but seems to accepts it in the end.

"It’s okay, very busy but it’s always rewarding, helping people, you know…?" I nod my head slowly and look down; she’s probably doing more for people than I am at the moment. "…We, um – we had this man in the other week…" Mikasa smiles to herself, seemingly reliving a memory. "…he was very old, but he was such a character. All of us nurses called him Bert, his name was actually Henry…" She chuckles, looking up at us. "…but we called him Bert, short for sherbet, because he always gave out Lemon Sherbets everywhere he went." We all smile at her story, and I relish in this slim opportunity to witness Mikasa share something significant about her workday. "He came in one day for a, um, small procedure, but things just kind of… escalated, and he never left. He passed away the other day." She looks sad for a moment and Jean leans across the table to rest a hand on hers.

"What happened?" Hange asks it quietly.

"It was a combination of things in the end, some people though… they can appear as happy and bright on the outside, but it just goes to show you never really know what’s going on underneath." Mikasa’s words sit with me whilst we all continue eating, and I know part of what she says is a reflection on me. I know she’s worried about me because of my behaviour, and the fact I won’t really talk to her about it.

Everyone finishes their meals and Mikasa heads to the kitchen to grab a bottle of wine – apparently the evening is calling for it. I rest my head against the back of the chair and rub my temples, a headache building up slowly as the evening goes on.

"Say, Mikasa…?" Hange crosses their arms on the table when my sister returns with the wine. "… random question, but… I thought it would be interesting to hear from someone in your field of work..." Mikasa sits down, a curious expression on her face. "…do you believe in ghosts!?"

"What?"

"What?"

"What?"

_"Ha!"_

"I’m just curious, I mean you work in a hospital, so you have to deal with death as a concept on a daily basis right…?" Hange shrugs. "…As a psychologist the idea of death is a frequent revisited question that _I_ face on a daily basis with clients, just humour me..." They smile and I sink down in my chair a little, Levi now leaning forwards across the table, all of a sudden quite invested in the conversation.

"Um, well…" Mikasa pours herself a glass of wine, taking a sip before answering. "…I suppose it’s a nice thought in a way… I think I’ve _always_ believed that there was more to life after death." I sit up again at her answer, slightly surprised she didn’t pass the idea off as nonsense.

"Do you think anyone has ever _seen_ a ghost?" Hange pries further and I frown in their direction.

"I don’t really see why not…" Mikasa shrugs again and takes another sip of her wine.

"That’s interesting…" Hange beams at her answer then turns to Jean next to them. "…What about you Jean, where do _you_ stand on the whole supernatural scenario?" They wave their hands around in the air for effect. I look over to Jean and see a small frown cross his face, then he looks over to my sister, obviously unsure of what he’s about to say

"I don’t think there’s really anything after death, I believe that once you’re gone, that’s it… you’re worm food." Well, that was quite the one eighty from my sisters answer. I lean subtly over to Levi, my voice a whisper.

"Hear that, you’re worm food…?" Levi turns to me, half his attention still on the rest of the room.

 _"Well aren’t the worms lucky…"_  The guys got a fucking answer for everything… and heck yeah the worms were lucky.

Hange nods their head at Jean’s answer, therapist style, and finally turns to me.

"What about you Eren? Where do _you_ stand?" The smile on their face is knowing and I frown at them in return, knowing exactly what they were doing. I think about what I should say, it’s not like if I say I believe in ghosts, everyone’s immediately gonna think I can see them or anything.

 _"Yeah Eren, where_ do you _stand?"_  I dare a look at Levi, his head now resting lazily in his hands.

"I…think…" I give Levi a pointed look, but before I can answer, my sister butts in.

"Eren doesn’t believe in any of that stuff Hange, he’s always been a massive sceptic." Levi raises an eyebrow and I look at my sister. "What? When we were younger you always scoffed at my beliefs…"

"I didn’t scoff, and besides, you were just going through some stupid gothy phase, it wasn’t like it was your religion or anything." Mikasa scowls at me but I just shrug, what I said must have peaked Jean’s curiosity.

"You had a goth phase?" Jean raises his eyebrows, a smile creeping onto his face, making my sister lean forwards.

"Yeah, just during my teens, why, you like that…"

"Maybe…" I raise my hands abruptly at that, definitely not willing to sit through this shit.

"Whoa, whoa!! I’m sorry but that’s gross, let’s move on…!"

"Jeez, Eren, grow up a little, its harmless--"

"Shut up Jean! I’m not gonna sit here whilst you fantasise about my sister in black corsets and leather boots." The fucking horseface has the nerve to wink at my sister then. "… I swear to God Jean, I will stick this chopstick in your eye and watch you scream…" I start to lift the discarded utensil but my hand is stopped by Hange’s.

"Okay, I think we might be getting a little bit off track here…Eren…" They look at me, a stern expression telling me to drop the 'weapon'.

"Sorry…" I comply with about as much maturity as my past teenage self.

"So Mikasa…" Hange turns the attention back to my sister and rests their chin in their hands. "…Did you dabble in the occult?" Mikasa spits out her wine at Hange’s question, quickly trying to mop it up. "What, that’s what teenagers do when they experiment in the macabre fascination of the gothic lifestyle?"

"No Hange, I didn’t… _dabble_ in the occult…" Hange looks slightly disappointed in her answer and I share a look with Levi. I glance back at my sister whose still mopping up her spilt wine.

"All she did was lock herself away in her room, lighting candles and playing with that stupid Ouija board..." I wave my hand nonchalantly in her direction.

"A Ouija board!?" Hange perks up at that. "I’ve always wanted to have a go on one, do you still have it?"

"Um…" Mikasa gets up from her seat, throwing away the soiled napkins. "…probably at the back of the wardrobe or something..." She shrugs, wiping her hands off and Hange stands abruptly from the table, pushing their chair back.

"Oh my God, we should totally have a séance!! It’ll be really cool, ooh, yes! Let’s do it!!" They clap their hands together frantically.

"Okay, Okay…!" I spin my head to look at my sister.

"You’re not actually going to go through with this, this is so stupid…" I give her an incredulous look but Mikasa seems intent on making my life a living hell – even if she doesn’t know she’s doing it.

"YES!" Hange sits back down, leaning across the table to grab my hands then they glance at the 'empty' chair where Levi’s sat. "Imagine who we might be able to communicate with!" They wiggle their eyebrows and I scowl again, turning to Levi, his expression mirroring my own.

 _"I am not some fucking movie trope; I’m not doing this…"_  I shrug my shoulders, gesturing subtly to Hange, a silent – 'it’s not for me, it’s for them'. Levi sighs and I rest my head in my hand.

"Maybe my sister won’t be able to find it..." I say it to Levi, Hange covering me enough that I don’t have to worry about Jean.

"I found it!" Levi looks back at me, a beautiful scowl adorning his beautiful face, and I can’t help but smile.

 _"You were saying…?"_  Hange claps their hands again, clearly very excited by the whole prospect of it all. I turn back to the ghost; keeping my voice low and take advantage of everyone else distracted by the setting up of the Ouija board.

"You don’t have to do anything, especially if it’s gonna make you use up the rest of your energy or something…" I wasn’t _too_ worried since he seems to be getting slightly stronger by the day, the contact from earlier only taking moments for his eye colour to come back. Levi seems to watch everyone else at the table sorting out the game, as if he’s debating something in his head. I assume when he’s come to some kind of conclusion as he lets out a small smile.

 _"Maybe, it could be fun...?"_  My passive face immediately drops – I don’t like the sound of that.

"Why do I get the feeling that 'fun' for you, isn’t gonna be fun for me?" I lean a little closer to him, keeping my back to the others and my voice at a whisper. Levi leans forwards as well, his face inches from my own.

 _"We don’t know how long I’m gonna be around Eren, so it only seems fair that I get to meet your family and colleagues on a more informal basis."_ He smiles at my pained expression.

"Don’t do anything stupid!"

 _"Stupid? I believe that is_ your _department…"_  I roll my eyes at him.

"Well, just… what if something happens, what if it’s not a good idea?"

 _"I thought you were supposed to be the optimistic one in this relationship Eren?!"_ Levi leans back again, still smiling at me, his blue eye’s sparkling. " _…besides, it will be a good opportunity to see what I can do in a slightly different environment."_  He shrugs, and I can see his point there, it will be a good experiment to see how he can interact with certain objects with more people around.

"Eren!? You ready?" I turn back to face the table, Hange smiling at me, the board lain out in front of us.

Sigh

"I’m just putting it out there…" I point my finger at them all. "…this is stupid, and you’re all fucking crazy." Hange laughs at me, the other two smiling and everybody places their fingertips onto the planchette in the middle.

 _"Eren Jaeger calling everybody_ else _crazy…"_ Levi’s voice drifts around me as he gets up from his seat. " _…isn’t that rich…"_  I scowl at him as my eyes watch him make his way around my seat to the centre of the table, stood in between me and my sister. I watch Mikasa from the corner of my eye and notice her shiver slightly, clearly shoving her reaction off as a coincidence.

"Now…" She readjusts herself, and starts to address everyone around the table, as if we actually were at a séance. "…it is important that you don’t let go of the planchette and to never move it on your own accord." We all nod at my sister, Hange’s face full of excitement, Jean’s slightly concerned and mine, totally done with the whole thing already.

We all sit up right, hands steady in the centre of the board and candles flickering from where Mikasa must have lit them earlier. The room is completely silent, then Hange starts talking.

"IF THERE ARE ANY--"

_"Jesus Christ, you don’t have to shout!"_

"--GHOSTS AROUND, PLEASE MAKE YOURSELVES KNOWN!"  I snigger at Levi’s reaction and look up to pass the message on.

"You don’t have to yell Hange, I’m sure if there _were_ ghosts here they can hear you just fine…" I see Jean chuckle from the other side of the table and I smile, because this is so ridiculous.

"Sorry…" Hange shrugs lightly, looking down at the still board, expression turning down for a second. "…Is he gonna try?" Their voice is low but I kick them lightly under the table.

"He? You expecting someone Hange?" Mikasa looks up with a teasing eyebrow.

"Uhhhruum, no, I mean… when I say 'he', I mean the general… 'he', like them…" Hange struggles for a moment then waves their hand down dismissively. "…you know what I’m like with gender, what even is a 'he' really…?" They chuckle nervously.

"Anywaaaay… I think what Hange is trying to say is…" I interrupt, seeing the relief wash over their face. "…if there _are_ any spirits in the room, we don’t know if they’ll actually _try_ to communicate with us…" Hange nods frantically at me, smiling their thanks.

"I think we just have to be patient…" Mikasa smiles at them sympathetically. I glance up at Levi as he steps forward and leans his hip up against the table, his body facing me. He looks down at me, then at the planchette in the middle of the table…

 _"What harm can it do, right?"_  He leans over the table, his delicate fingers resting just over ours, making a cold sensation run up my arm – and no doubt – everybody else’s.

"Uh, it’s gotten really cold in here…!" My sister shivers abruptly the other side of Levi.

"MAYBE IT’S THE GHOSTS!" Hange pushes themselves forward, disturbing the board slightly.

 _"Would you sit fucking still shitty glasses?!"_  I look at them.

"Hange you need to sit still for this to work."

"Sorry…" Their voice is small, but still full of excitement.

"Maybe we should turn a few more lights on…" Jean adjusts himself in his chair. "…it’s getting kinda creepy."

"Don’t be a wimp Jean, grow a pair, shut up and sit still." I roll my eyes at him and he gives me the finger with his free hand. I look up at Levi again whose concentrating on the planchette, trying to ignore the bickering going on around him. Everyone’s quiet for a moment, waiting for something – anything – to happen.

I hear Jean sigh in the silence.

"Sometime today would be nice…"

"Shut the fuck up Jean, or I swear to God I’ll chop your dick off and you won’t be a lot of fun for my sister then will you!"

"The fuck Jaeger, testy much!?"

"Yeah, I’ll fucking take _those_ too if you don’t shut up!"

"For the love of God!" Mikasa raises her voice to shut us both up. "…will you both be quiet, you’re not helping!" Everyone goes silent again, until Levi breaks it, only for me of course…

 _"Okay, ask a question…"_  I nod and sit up straight, asking the question clearly to the room.

"Is there anybody here?" Everyone else around the table glances up at me as I break the silence, then their eyes travel back to the board. I watch Levi’s hands come down to make contact with the empty end of the planchette, the heart shaped disk slowly budging towards the 'YES' sign.

"Is that fucking _you_  Jaeger, this is bullshit!" Jean glares at me.

"Oh my GOD!" Hange…

"It’s _not_ fucking me horseface!"

"Everyone be quiet!" So we are, watching all of our hands travel to the top right hand corner of the board, the 'Yes' perfectly centred inside the clear circle at the centre of the wood.

"He did it!!" Hange bounces in their seat. I look up at Levi and notice the concentration on his face, both hands needed to move the planchette on his own and I keep my eyes on him, mesmerised by his will power.

"What is your name?" I’m surprised to hear my sister ask the question, her face showing a slither of intrigue. Levi moves his hands slightly and I look at his eyes, making sure they still hold colour. I can tell he’s starting to struggle, probably because he’s used a lot of energy throughout the day, so I move my body to the side, nudging Levi with my leg. The contact is completely solid, making my heart jump in my chest, sending me back a few hours ago when we were on the couch. I look back up at him and notice how the contact seems to ground him slightly, and I remember what he said about when we touched earlier – how the contact made it easier on him- so I keep my leg resting against his own. He glances back at me, his face slightly less strained….

 _"What the hell should I write?"_  Oh yeah, he can’t exactly just write his own name – that could make things messy in the future. I shrug. He looks rather put out by my lack of advice and turns to start moving the planchette again on his own. Everyone around the table watches intently as Levi takes our hands around the Ouija board…

"P…"

"A…" The movement is slow; all of us letting Levi guide us over the letters.

"T…!" Hange shouts the third letter, excited to see what her friend will write.

"R…"

"I…"

"C…"

"K… Patrick!?" I look up at Levi who just shrugs. Why Patrick…?

"Hello Patrick!" Hange starts laughing, clearly knowing some meaning behind the name. "It’s very nice to meet you!"

"I’m sorry, but you’re not _really_ believing this bullshit--?" Mikasa interrupts Jean before he starts going off on one.

"Be quiet Jean…" She turns to me. "…Eren, ask another question." I sigh but lean forwards, racking my brain for a simple question to ask Levi.

"Um, uh..w-what’s it like being dead?" I shrug and look up at Levi.

 _"What kind of dumb-ass question is that!?"_ He shakes his head at me but starts to answer it regardless.

"Oooh, oohh!! It’s moving!" Hange jumps up in their chair before yelling the letters out one by one. "S…U…C…K…S…! It sucks apparently!" They start laughing loudly and my sister actually sniggers beside us. Levi glances down at me.

"It sucks…? Really, that’s your summary of death…?"

"I mean…" Mikasa looks over to me as I talk to the _supposed_ ghost in the room. "I imagine it wouldn’t be the most enjoyable of experiences Eren." I shrug again and smile at my sister as she unintentionally defends Levi and his over simplistic answer to an otherwise existential question.

 _"Yeah Eren, I thought it was quite accurate actually, and besides…"_ Levi gestures nonchalantly with his hand. "...' _boring as shit' was way too many letters to spell out…"_  I chuckle at that, which makes Jean give me a funny look and he scoffs – again.

"Well why don’t you ask a fucking question Jean!?"

"Fine!" He leans forwards, leaning his elbows on the table.

"Hello ghost, I want to know if Eren Jaeger is a moron?" He says it with such a smug look on his face, like it was the best insult his little brain could think of.

"Oh yeah, real mature horse face…"

"Shhhh, it’s moving!!!" Hange beams at the board whilst Jean and I scowl at each other. "He says Yes!!!"

"Hahaaa, damn right!" Jean smirks and I sit back, holding a hand to my chest.

"Uh! I can’t believe the dead would be so insulting." I fake glare up at Levi who nudges me lightly on the leg.

_"I was just giving the audience what they wanted…"_

"Guy’s this is getting ridiculous!" My sister adjusts herself at the table when the phone interrupts us all, and she sighs.

"I should get that… it could be the hospital." She gets up and Jean follows her lead, moving to stand up, but not before he can get a final word in on his scepticism.  

"Still think it’s all you Jaeger, pulling this kinda bullshit…"

"Why would I call myself a moron… you moron!?" I gesture my hands out, then to myself. Jean only dismisses my retort with a swipe of his hand, then follows my sister into the kitchen, leaving Hange, Levi and I alone with the Ouija board. I sit back in the chair and watch Levi lean against the table again, crossing his arms. He’s breathing heavier again, a sure sign he’s completely knackered his energy usage.

"Why Patrick?" I look up into Levi’s eyes, the grey’s swirling, although the edges still hold a subtle blue for a change. He chuckles.

 _"You know, like 'Ghost'…the movie…"_ I raise my eyebrow, expression thoroughly unimpressed.

"You mean Patrick Swayze!? All the names you could have picked and you make a frickin’ eighties movie reference?" I keep my voice low as to not attract any attention from the others in the kitchen.

_"Technically 'Ghost' came out in 1990…so…"_

"Seriously? _That_ you remember but the general ins and outs of your identity were a _struggle_ …!" Hange starts cackling louder at hearing my side of the conversation, getting the general gist of what Levi and I were arguing about. I take a deep breath and lean back in my seat.

"Even so…" I sigh and look back at Levi, his body dimming from the over activity. "…you still managed to do quite well; it couldn’t have been easy…"

 _‘Yeah, it fucking wasn’t, and the equestrian prick gave you all the credit anyway."_ I chuckle at that, because it’s true, and that’s got to be frustrating. 

"Eren is right, that was quite incredible how you managed to manoeuvre to so many letters. It’s only been, what, three days and you’ve already come so far Levi!" Hange smiles in his general direction. "The fact you were able to even touch Eren earlier on multiple occasions shows an increase on how your body seems to harbour the energy you pick up. Touching a living, human being would understandably boost this ability if you think about it, the strain reaching out to the living world puts on your body could be nullified by interacting with somebody else and _their_ energy." I share a look with Levi during Hange’s babbling, although what they say matches up pretty well with what Levi was saying earlier. "How are you feeling now, has all your energy disappeared? Can Eren still touch you or have you reverted back to the norm…?" We stare at them as Hange fires off questions; of course I understand their desperation to wanna be a part of it, since they weren’t there for the other two times… well, three times.

I lean forwards in my seat and go to lightly shove Levi’s shoulder.

"It’s a no go…" My hand goes through; part of me actually disappointed there wasn’t a change to the pattern. "…he’s used up a lot of energy today, it’s not surprising…" I turn back to Levi. "…you must be drained…" Levi nods. "…how do you feel, how’s your head?" I gesture at his temple.

 _"It’s not too bad…"_  He runs a hand consciously through his hair and nods his head at my leg. " _…you helped though."_  I smile, knowing I could help him physically in some way. We sit in silence for a bit and I can hear my sister and Jean talking now in the other room – I wonder if Mikasa was called into work.

"So…!" Hange leans forward abruptly, both of us turning to look at them. "…if Levi’s Patrick Swayze, does that make you Whoopi Goldberg?" They laugh at my expression.

"What, dude no…!"

 _"Well you’re the one who can see the ghosts, which would make you the psychic in this tragic love story…"_  I groan, crossing my arms and sit back in the chair.

"I’d _rather_ be Demi Moore…" Hange cackles again and leans further across the table.

"Na ah! I’m clearly Demi Moore!"

 _"In your dreams shitty glasses, I ain’t sitting at no fucking pottery wheel with you…"_  I smile, turning to Hange, passing on the message.

"Levi says he agrees and that he’d love to be your Swayze."

_"God damn it Eren!"_

"Hahaaa!! I appreciate the message Eren, but I suspect Levi wasn’t so game." They laugh again and I glance back to the grumpy ghost across from me.

"Sorry Levi, I don’t like the new casting of this movie any more than you do, but it is what it is…"

"Eren?" My head shoots up, catching Mikasa walking towards me from across the room. "…That was work; they want me to go in for the night shift last minute because Sheila’s kid is sick, I’m really sorry…"

"Don’t worry about it Mika, its fine…" She smiles at me and gestures to Jean putting his coat on.

"Jean’s gonna head back when I leave…" Mikasa looks over to Hange. "…would you like a lift home Hange, I’ll be heading into town."

"Thank you Mikasa, but I’ll just catch a late bus."

"Okay... I’ll see you tomorrow Eren, kay…?" My sister walks over promptly and gives me a quick hug, then heads for the front door. "… Bye Hange!"

"Bye Mikasa!"

"I’ll see you later…" I look over to the door. "…see you Monday Jean…"

"Yeah, see ya Jaeger..."

"Oh! Bye Jean!"

"Hange…"

 _"Bye…"_  Levi waves lazily at the closing door.

"Well! I guess I should probably get going, I _do_ have some clients on a Saturday…" Hange gets up from their chair, Levi and I watching them across the room as they pick up their coat. "…Eren, don’t forget to pick up your prescription…Levi…" They stop and point at Levi, pretty much nailing his location in the room. "…keep an eye on him." With that, Hange makes their way over to the door.

"Oh, I’ll show you out, just…"

"No need!" I hesitantly sit back down in my chair. "… I shall see myself out!" Then with a wave and a strange salute, Hange lets themselves out of my apartment, leaving Levi and I alone once again.

"What even _was_ this evening… ?" I hang my head in my hands, running my fingers through my hair. I realise that I didn’t actually get a chance to ask Hange some of the more important things I had on my mind, like what happened to Levi’s body.

But I guess it’ll just have to wait.

 _"It was… entertaining…"_  I look up at Levi.

"Well yeah because _you_ were the entertainment." Levi smiles and stands up straighter, walking over to stand in front of me, making me tilt my head up to see his eyes.

_"You look exhausted Eren; like you haven’t slept in weeks…"_

"Well I appreciate the concern Levi but you don’t look so hot yourself. _"_  I watch him raise an eyebrow and a smile creeps onto his porcelain face. I know exactly what kind of comment he wants to make so I stand up, raising my hands to avow silence. 

"I’m going to bed, okay, happy?" Levi steps out of the way and I make my way to my bedroom, wasting no time at all to remove my shirt and pass out on my mattress – welcoming the sweet sweet realm of unconsciousness.

 

(Levi POV)  


The dumbass forgot to take my badge out of his pocket before he passed out, and now I’m stuck in his bloody room all night. I pace up and down -never knowing what to do at night. Before I met Eren, I think I use to just fade when no one was around, time kind of just… stopped, but now because of the kid, my body never fades away completely and I’m conscious one hundred percent of the time…

Which gets kind of, as I said before, “boring as shit”…

I take the time to look around Eren’s room, although he doesn’t exactly possess a lot in the way of personal items…which is weird. There aren’t any chairs in the room so I lean up against the wall and slowly slide down to the floor. I peer up at Eren, the kid hardly prepared himself at all before passing out on his bed, only lazily removing his shirt and collapsing on top of the covers. I close my eyes for a second, wishing I could rest peacefully as well, but I know that’s never gonna happen and I keep my eyes closed non the less. I use the time to think back on all the shit that’s happened today. A couple days ago I never would have dreamed that I would be able to touch another person; I look down at my hands – to me – just as solid as any living persons. I can still see the look on Eren’s face when I grabbed the badge out of his hand, or when I linked our fingers together, it was a look that made me feel more alive than ever.

Sigh…

I lean my head back, my body starting to shut down slightly from the inactivity, since Eren’s asleep; I guess I don’t get as much energy… or something? Everything seems simpler when Hange explains it. I don’t know how long I sit there, staring up at the white walls around me, the only sound in the room is Eren’s light breathing.

It may not be proper sleep, but it’s the most peaceful I’ve felt since…dying, I guess. Minutes, maybe hours, tick by and I watch the outside sky change from darkness to the beginning of early morning blues. I look over at the clock and see that it’s still a good few hours until Eren will rise, probably planning on giving himself a decent lay in on a Saturday. I close my eyes again when the silence is broken by a quiet whimper from across the room. For a minute I think maybe it was a cat or something outside, but then I notice Eren’s breathing getting more and more frantic.

I stand up from my spot on the floor and walk slowly over to Eren’s bedside, the kid’s chest heaving in and out, his arms flinching ever so slightly. I think he’s having a dream….

Or a nightmare…

Eren suddenly let’s out this pained sound, one you might hear from someone suffering physically or emotionally. I walk a bit closer and wonder what I could do. I’m sure the kid could probably just ride it out, but I don’t know if this is normal, since I’ve always been left in the front room up until this point. Then I think back to the various discussions between Hange and Eren, talking about him not sleeping – and I would bet this has something to do with it.

The kid’s having nightmares, and I’d put all my money on it having something to do with the fucking spirits he sees day to day…

Eren lets out another distressed sound which tells me he’s definitely having a nightmare, and he doesn’t stop, his body beginning to struggle more and more in his rem sleep. For a moment I wonder how his sister hasn’t heard this before, but then I remember how she’s at work, and Eren’s invariably left here alone… with whatever the fucks going on inside his head. I lean slightly over the kid and place my hand gingerly over his head, my fingers going straight through his hair.

Damn it!

How the hell am I supposed to calm him down if I can’t actually physically be in the same _fucking_ room as him!?

 _"Eren…"_ I say his name quietly, not wanting to startle him out of the nightmare too suddenly. " _Eren, wake up, you’re having a nightmare…!"_  I reach my hand down again, but nothing…

His breathing calms for a second as the cold from my hand seemingly seeps through his skin. I wonder if maybe this is enough, but then he whimpers again, this time louder, his arms thrashing some invisible person in the room.

 _"Eren!.....EREN!"_ I raise my voice, getting more and more concerned.

Is this why the kid doesn’t get any sleep, because he goes through this shit every night?

And what the hell is he dreaming about?

 _"EREN!"_  My own pulse quickens as I start to wish somebody else was here… somebody who could actually help him. I run a hand through my hair then lean down on the edge of the bed lightly.

 _"Eren, please listen to me, you need to wake up…"_  Nothing. " _….FUCK!"_  I slam a fist down onto the mattress; the springs pinging it immediately back in my direction. I look at my hand, then at the mattress…

Then at my hand…

Well, I’ll be damned…

I lean slightly over Eren again as his breathing quickens, his nightmare seemingly far from over.

 _"Eren…?"_  I carefully place my hand on his bare shoulder, the heat from his body seeping into my cold fingers – I gently nudge him to wake him up _. "Eren….please wake up..."_  It does nothing, and Eren lets out a small cry, his eyes squeezing shut tighter. I kneel down beside the bed and rest my arms on the edge; I close more of the space between us and decide to keep my voice low.

 _"Eren…?"_  I run my fingers over his forehead, moving brown locks out of the way to see his closed eyes. I take in his semi peaceful expression, switching between restful to pained, moment to moment as the dream runs through. I watch him for a moment, my own eyes missing the beautiful green irises that always look back at me, and the smile that makes it harder and harder for me to keep my signature deadpan expression.

I keep my hand resting lightly on the side of his face, my thumb gently caressing his cheek every time his breathing hitches.

I’d say it’s a good job I’m a ghost, because I’d deny doing something even remotely as affectionate if anyone were to ever see me…

I watch over him for a moment longer, his breathing calming down more and more by the minute, and then I finally let my eyes travel over his steady rising chest. The nightmare finally gone.

 _"Sorry you’ve got to deal with this shit kid…"_   I let my fingers run through his hair once more before I run out of energy, although I don’t feel like I will -at least not any time soon. " _Sorry you’ve got to deal with_ my _shit as well…"_  I look at Eren’s now peaceful expression, no sign of there ever having been any distress on it moments ago. Before I make myself stand back up, I take my time to run my hand back down to Eren’s shoulder, my fingers running along his jaw on the way down. The heat from his body is so far from what I’m used to, it gives off the kind of comfort you might find in a hot cup of tea, or a warm fire. I sit on the floor and rest my forehead against the edge of the bed…

 _"What the fuck are we doing Eren…?"_  I look up once more at his closed eyes, then stand back up, making my way back to the spot against the wall.

At least I could begin to return the help the kid’s given me…

I look down at my hands, the energy I got from Eren’s body still running through my own – I feel like I could do anything, but I just slide back down to the floor and watch Eren for the last few hours until daylight…

Making sure he has no more nightmares whilst I’m around…

 

 

 


	8. Hearing voices

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaah, Omg first of all I'm so sorry about the late update - my final module deadline is next week so I've been CRAZY busy. Every time I sat down to write there was this small voice in the back of my head that was like 'Yeah, you know you shouldn't be doing this' and I was like 'Yeah I know' and then I'd have to close the word document and do some work :( - But here it is!! XD I wasn't overly sure about the chapter to be honest as I've been writing it in small bursts and so didn't have the usual flow I work with but I really hope you like it!! I'll probs have to go over and check through it again once my mind is less muddled...  
> Anyway I'll shut up now - again I really hope you guys like it and thank you EVERYONE for your amazing support!!  
> Love you guys <333

_"Oi…kid, wake up…"_  My mind was still amidst the deep coma of sleep, a feeling I hadn’t had in a long while. " _Eren…"_  The constant tension at the base of neck has lessened and I start to feel somewhat rested for the first time in weeks. " _Christ sake… Eren!"_  I start to make out a voice, becoming more and more inpatient.

Uuuuh, I don’t want to move….

_"EREN…"_

I’m about to roll away from the noise when I feel a semi-sharp slap across my face…

Okay, yep, I’m awake now….

 _"Fuck sake Eren, I’m bored and you’ve slept in long enough…"_  I open my eyes and peer up at Levi…why the hell is he in my room…?

I am in my room right?

What day even is it?

Shit, have I got to go to work…!?

Wait, no it’s a Saturday… right?

 _"Eren…!"_  I can feel the ghost shake my arm lightly which makes me sit up.

"What the hell Levi, W-why are you _in_ here?" My voice sounds hoarse from sleep and I run my hands through my hair, trying to regain some semblance of consciousness.

 _"I’ve been stuck in here all night because your tired ass didn’t take me out of your back pocket before you passed out!?"_  I glance up at him, suddenly becoming slightly more aware of the situation – I’m sitting in my bed, half naked, with the hot ghost hovering over me….I sigh and will the blush away, slowly creeping up the sides of my neck.

"Did you have to slap me?" Levi’s expression shows a mixture of nothing…aaaand… oh yep, nothing.

 _"It was just a light slap, and tired or not we have shit to do remember…?"_ He crosses his arms, his eyes momentarily flicking up and down my body.

Jeez, way to make me feel self-conscious…

I glance over to the clock on my bedside and expect to see a ridiculous hour given the sergeant drill wake up call, but…. 11:00…Damn, I really did sleep well. I sigh again and make to get out of bed, Levi stepping back to give me some room. As I stand up right, I stretch my arms, looking down at Levi – our height difference never ceasing to cause that little flip in the pit of my stomach.

 _"Well…?"_  I realise I’d just been staring at him and rub the back of my neck awkwardly, a hundred more thoughts suddenly rushing through my head.

"Um… so you were stuck in here all night?" Levi nods his head, quirking a thin eyebrow subtly. "S-sorry about that by the way…?" He shrugs. "So, uh… I didn’t disturb you or…anything did I…?" It sounds like a stupid question in my head, especially considering that I was the one who was actually asleep, but I know my nightmares can be quite bad. Every so often my sister has heard me over the past couple weeks, but she says I just have to ride it out. Although, I did feel better this morning, maybe I slept alright. Levi doesn’t answer for a moment but eventually uncrosses his arms.

 _"You seemed fine to me kid…"_ His expression doesn’t change. " _Now go have a bloody shower_." I smile.

"Right!" I walk over to my wardrobe, the hinges creaking painfully as I pull out some jeans and a T-shirt, and then I smile at Levi once more before sprinting to the bathroom.

 

Once I get out, showered and still feeling semi-rested, I walk back into my bedroom, violently drying my hair with the towel. As I remove it from my head I know that my brown ends are sticking up in countless directions.

 _"Nice hair…"_  I look up and capture Levi’s reflection in the mirror of my wardrobe door so I walk over to stand behind him.

"Well thanks, I think it’s the only way my body can physically express the chaos that resides inside my mind…" I rest my arm on the ghost’s shoulder, surprise flickering through both our eyes as we make contact. I look down to peer at Levi’s face as he turns to look up at me, his eyes travelling up passed my eyes to check out my hair.

 _"I can’t imagine that does it justice…"_  A sad flicker goes through his eyes but it’s pushed away just as quick. I decide to ignore whatever it was and glance back into the mirror.

"So, admiring your own reflection, I never really took you as a vain guy Levi?" I say it in a teasing tone but notice the sad flicker back in his eyes. "Levi?" I remove my arm from his shoulder, but keep my hand grasping his arm, my own body not wanting to stop the contact until I have to.

 _"This is the first time I’ve seen my reflection properly since…"_  Since he died… Levi lets the sentence fade off, shrugging off the discomfort I sensed in his voice. I look down at his face again, then back at the reflection.

"How... I-I mean, what about windows and stuff, we’ve been to loads of places where you could have seen…"

 _"It’s not that I’ve managed to avoid it Eren…"_ Levi’s tone comes out inpatient, but he quickly checks himself, sighing. " _…it’s just that I haven’t… had one..."_  Oh…ohhhh.

"So… up until this point, you haven’t actually seen your reflection, your…person, in the past five years?" He nods. "Do you look like you remember?" I raise my eyebrow, trying to lighten the mood a little. I can feel Levi shrug lightly under my grip on his arm – which is still as solid as the moment I touched him – maybe he’s getting stronger…?

 _"I guess… I never really liked change anyway…"_ I laugh at that because I could imagine he was a stubborn S.O.B back when. I stare at the reflection and frown a little.

"I’m actually kinda surprised you have a reflection at all, kinda thought you wouldn’t." Levi whips around to look at me, frowning slightly.

_"Why…?"_

"Well I figured ghosts would be like vampires you know… they’re both dead and… stuff…"

_"Whoa, whoa, what!? First of all, vampires aren’t real…"_

"How can you be so certain, of all people, you’ve spent the last five years as a paranormal being, how can you be so dismissive towards your counter partner relatives?"

_"That’s moronic and completely illogical…"_

"Oh yeah, and how are you so different?"

 _"Vampires don’t have a reflection because they don’t have a soul; ghosts on the other hand are physical manifestations of lost souls, therefore consisting of the complete opposite composition of what makes up a vampire…"_  Levi glances up at me.

"Okay, well… that makes sense I guess… smart ass…"

 _"But also, because I don’t suck blood, turn into a bat, live in a castle, sleep in a coffin and I’m not_ fucking _fictional."_ I look down at Levi, his expression reflecting my ludicrous accusations – but at least it’s better than the sad look he had before.

"Okay, okay, I get it… BUT…" I use my other hand to poke him in the back of the head. "…you are very brooding, so you got _that_ vampire trait going for you." I grin as Levi rolls his eyes, attention going back to the mirror and I feel my grip on his arm get weaker as his energy starts thinning out.

 _"You still look knackered…"_  It takes me a few seconds to realise Levi was talking about me; although, I don’t know who else he would be talking about. I shrug, resting my arm back on his shoulder whilst I still can.  

"I feel a bit better though, I think I slept a lot better than I have for a while." Levi nods his head slowly but doesn’t look at me. "I guess everything that’s been going on is just a bit draining on me at the moment…" I shrug again nonchalantly but smile so he knows I’m okay. "But hey…" I squeeze Levi’s shoulder slightly to emphasise my next point. "…you’re beginning to be able to manifest a lot longer and more efficiently lately, so that’s good." I watch his face, looking for some kind of relief or maybe even a smile, but all I see is a worried frown – Levi’s eyes travelling from my arm to look down at the floor.

We stand there for a moment in silence, Levi seemingly dealing with some internal argument.

"Anyway…" I decide to break the silence, and I want to distract Levi from whatever is causing that sad look on his face. I step back and grab my boots from the corner. "…I need to pick up my prescription from the hospital and then get in touch with Hange later…" I sit on the bed and look down to do up the laces. "…I have some things I need to ask them, I was going to last night but…" I look up. "…an appropriate time didn’t really come up…Levi?" Levi didn’t appear to be hearing anything I was actually saying, his attention looking down at his hands. I get up from the bed and go to touch his shoulder once more – but it goes straight through – times up. "Levi?" He finally looks up at me, jaw clenched in… frustration? "Levi what’s wrong?"

 _"Nothing, its fine…"_ He walks around me, heading for the bedroom door.

"You don’t seem very fine…" My voice is low so Levi doesn’t hear me.

 _"…you got my badge?"_ I sigh and turn around, taking his badge out of my back pocket, displaying it commercial style before placing it back again.

"Happy?" I take in his very NOT happy expression. "Good… fine let’s go..." I go to open the door, walking past him. "…fucking vampire…"

 

We make our way through town, since I decide to walk to work most days I leave my car in the precinct parking lot. The sun is out which makes the journey relatively nice, except… I turn to glance at Levi beside me, I can’t help but feel he’s keeping his distance, like he doesn’t want to touch me.

"Are you sure you’re alright?" I look back at him as we get closer to the building. Even though it’s the weekend people in the precinct still have to work – crime never takes a break so neither do we.

Except me, I get to take a break because I was in a coma for two and a half months…

I can see a car pulling out of the underground lot and recognise it as Ymir’s so I wave.

 _"Mmhmm…"_  Levi’s attention still seems to be elsewhere as we circle around the barriers.

"Look, you don’t have to tell me everything, just, if there’s a problem..." We stop outside the back of my car. "… you need to tell me Levi, whatever it is, either I could help or…" I shrug. "…a problem for you is a problem for me." Levi sighs and runs a hand through his raven hair, his features more tired than usual – how can a ghost even be tired.

 _"Sorry Eren, I’m just… thinking…"_ He gives me a small smile, no doubt an attempt to extinguish my concerns.

"Well stop it…!"

 _"You want me to stop thinking?"_ Levi quirks up an eyebrow.

"Yeah, I do it all the time; it can be a real life saver…!" He actually chuckles at that, and I feel relatively accomplished.

 _"Just get in the fucking car Eren; I know you don’t wanna go to this shitty hospital as much as I don’t."_ Well isn’t that just too true.

"Fine…" I take my keys out of my pocket and I’m about to unlock the car when my phone goes off. "Mikasa?" I look down at the flashing number on the screen. "I assumed she’d still be asleep since she worked a night shift in the end…" I unlock the car and settle into the driver’s seat before answering the call. "Sup Mika…" I lean across the middle to open the passenger door for Levi, waiting for my sister to respond. "I only left the apartment a little while ago…"

**"I know, I was asleep when you left…"**

"Is there a problem, do you need something, is it Jean, I’ll kill him Mika, he’s been a good partner and a sub-par friend, but I’ll do it…"

 **"Eren!"**  I laugh down the phone, glancing over to Levi once he’s in the car and I shove the keys into the ignition.

"Fine, sorry, what..." I stop talking when I hear another voice Mikasa’s end. "Who else is there…?"

 **"Eren, it’s Reiner, he came over to see you… apparently he’s been trying to contact you but you changed your number since…"**  Mikasa lets the sentence drift off when the second muffled voice chimes in- Reiner’s voice.

"Mika, just tell him to go, I don’t want to talk to him, tell him I’m fine and he can fuck off, ‘kay?"

 **"You don’t think I’ve already told him that’s what you’ll say!"** Her voice starts again away from the phone, probably passing on the message to Reiner. I lean my head against the steering wheel…

God I so could have done without this today…

As I lift my head again, I feel all of the rest I got last night come undone; the fatigue and the persistent headache settling back in.

"Mika…? Just--"

 **"Eren?"**  FUCK!

"What the hell do you want Reiner, and why did my sister give you the phone…?" I lean my head back, running my free hand through my hair. I can feel my pulse rising from frustration; I didn’t want to do this right now.

**"I just want to see if you’re okay Eren, please just… agree to meet me, just for a little while…"**

"NO Reiner, I don’t want to meet you, I’m fine, every single one of my friends you stalked down has told you the same and I’m telling you now, I. am. Fine!!"

**"You don’t sound very fine…"**

"Yeah, that’s because of fucking _you_ , I _was_ fine before you crashed my apartment and woke my sister up just so you could make me _not_ fine!" I take a wobbly breath, and my grip gets tighter on the steering wheel.

_"Eren…?"_

**"I’m sorry Eren, when I heard about the accident I didn’t know--"**

"Just shut up, _please_ , I don’t want to hear this; I have shit to do Reiner, okay. Leave me alone, leave my friends alone, and leave my _fucking_ family alone… goodbye!" I hang up the phone before he can say anything else, releasing the breath I didn’t even realise I had been holding. He better not pester my sister for my new number – shit!

_"Eren?"_

"It’s fine Levi…"  I take another deep breath and I lean my head back against the steering wheel, taking a few minutes to gain my composure. I can see Levi from the corner of my eye; his hand starts to reach out but stops, as if another thought halts all other instincts.

I woke up this morning feeling better than I had in a long, long time, and now everything’s gone to shit. First Levi starts avoiding me and now fucking Reiner…?

I can’t handle all of this on my own…

Did I do something wrong…?

Did I fuck up like usual…?

Like I do everything else…

"Okay, let’s go to this shitty hospital…" I start the car and risk a glance in Levi’s direction, but he quickly avoids any eye contact.

 

I pull into the hospital parking lot twenty minutes later. It’s not that far from the centre of town but traffic gets horrendous this way out. Shiganshina heart hospital is the busiest in the area, and it’s a place I’ve become more than acquainted with over the years with my job description - the coma aside. 

"We’ll make it a quick in out, I really don’t want to hang around anymore than we have to." We walk towards the West entrance, Levi a few paces behind me and I can already feel the cold seeping out of the building. I sigh and take a step inside.

"Hange said I can just go to the--"

"WHY CAN’T ANYONE SEE ME!?"

"PLEASE SOMEBODY HELP ME!"

"WHAT’S HAPPENINGHELLOEHAS ANYONESEENMY MUMPLEASEHELP…" I’m almost immediately interrupted by voices everywhere, voices inside my head and around me as they begin to merge together. I look over towards Levi to see if he hears all of them the same way, but he just looks concerned.

 _"Eren? What is it?"_  But he’s a ghost; ghosts can talk to _other_ ghosts, so why can’t he hear them in here.

"You can’t hear them…?" I whisper it, making sure not to alert the souls onto the fact I _can_ see them and then a sharp pain goes through my temple, making me wince out loud.

 _"Hear what? Eren…?"_  Levi moves to stand in front of me and I glance around, seeing a small hand full of people looking in our direction, but it’s a hospital…

And crazy shit happens at hospitals…

"Nothing…" I take a deep breath once the pain passes on and I move around Levi towards the GP area. I’ll just pick up my prescription and get out of here. We walk through the convoluted halls of the old hospital until I find the West wing, which opens up to a large waiting area and a long counter desk. I go to stand in line behind an old woman who appears to be carrying a large feather hat – which I find to be quite odd.

"That’s a very nice hat…" I smile at the woman as she glances behind her, her face portraying a glimpse of shock when she realises I was talking to her.

"Oh, sorry…" She laughs. "…I’m getting quite deaf in my old age." She lifts the hat to inspect it lightly then smiles up at me. "Why thank you young man, it was always my favourite, I like to dress up you see when I come visit my husband."

"Well he’s a very lucky man…" The old woman looks down then smiles once more before turning to face the desk. The next space opens up and I wait a moment for the lady to step forward – but she does nothing. I’m about to say something when she turns again, this time looking at Levi whose still a few paces away from me.

"Do I know you from somewhere…?" I spin my head around to look at Levi who appears just as confused as I felt… and then I realise….

"Next please!"

She’s dead…

"Next please…!" I turn back to face forward and notice the woman at the counter addressing me, and not the old woman in front of me…

Because no one else can see her…

"Um, uh yeah sorry…" I shake my head and walk subtly around the old woman, who smiles when I go passed.

I wonder how long she’s been waiting in line….

I glance behind me once more to see Levi standing where I left him, the old woman talking to him again. How could she possibly recognise him?

"How can I help you sir?" I look at the short stumpy woman behind the counter, her glasses slipping off her nose as I take the white prescription slip out of my back pocket.

"Uh, yes… I have a prescription form a Mz Hange Zoe, I was told I can pick it up straight away without consultation." The woman takes my slip, her expression not changing from the perpetual pissed off one she started with – she’d probably get along well with Levi.

"One moment please…" And then she turns to go out the back. Whilst I wait I turn back to see the two ghosts still talking amongst themselves, well, when I say _talking_ I mean the old woman talking and Levi slowly nodding his head – expressionless.

"Sir if you could please take a seat over there, your prescription will be ready soon." I turn back to the small plump woman who gestures to a very sad looking area of beige chairs off to the side.

"Okay, thanks…"

"WHEREAMIWHATSGOIGNONCANYOUSEEME…"

"...th-thank you…" I try smile at the woman as the voices start filling my head again. I scan the hospital room to see if I can spot anything abnormal – but everyone here just looks alive.

"HOWDIDIGETHEREWHATHAPPENEDCANIGETHOMEPLEASE…" The pain shoots through my temple again and I have to lean on the counter briefly before walking away…

"Sir, are you okay…?" I put a hand out to let the lady know I’m okay without turning around.

Not that I think I _am_ okay…not anymore…

"I’m fine thanks…" I walk over to the chairs and catch Levi walking over to meet me, having said his goodbye to the older woman. As I sit down, I’m actually quite surprised as he takes a seat beside me, half expecting him to avoid me again.

 _"You don’t look very fine Eren…"_  Levi’s voice is closer than I expected so I glance up, my face having been buried in my hands. His eyes swirl with blues, the concern making his fore head crinkle under the jet black locks falling over his face.

"It’s nothing, it’s just…there are a lot, and it’s like I’m hearing them shouting all at once and…"

"WHYMEWHATSHAPPENINGCANYOUHELPMEWHYWONTANYONEASNSWERME…" The words feel like they vibrate through my skull, making me lean forward, my head back in my hands.

 _"Eren!"_  I feel Levi grip my shoulder, trying to see my face better. " _…how long did they say it’ll take?"_  I shrug and take a deep breath – deciding to distract myself by changing the topic.

"Why did that old woman… _ghost_ , recognise you…?" I lift my head up slightly, my hair falling slightly over my eyes. I can still feel the grip of Levi’s hand on my shoulder and I focus on it instead of the pain in my head.

 _"I honestly don’t know…"_  Levi’s expression loses the concern and reverts back to his signature stoicism. " _…I don’t recognise her from anywhere…" H_ e shrugs then removes his hand from my shoulder, making me feel colder without his touch – which makes no sense. 

We sit there for a few minutes in silence, I feel like something’s happened between us to make it awkward, but I don’t know what the fuck it could be. I try focusing on my breathing, drowning out the voices with my own intrusive thoughts.

How long am I going to be fucking stuck here…?

"Excuse me young man…" I glance at the new voice in front of me and see a tall, elderly man gesturing out a bag of sweets. "…you look like you could do with a pick me up". The man smiles at me, shaking the bag lightly in offering but I turn my head to look at Levi, who frowns at the older man then turns to me.

 _"Your parents ever teach you not to take candy from strangers, kid…"_  He lifts an eyebrow at me and I’m about to make an obscene gesture back when the old man interrupts us.

"I swear I’m not that strange…" The old man chuckles but doesn’t remove the offering away. "…but the pretty boy has a point…" My eyebrows shoot up.

"You can see him!?"

_"Pretty boy!?"_

The old man chuckles again, taking a sweet out of the bag and popping it into his mouth.

"Of course I can see him…now take a lemon sherbet, won'tcha…" Sherbet?  He must be Henry, or Bert, I guess. "… and I promise, whatever it is, it’s gonna be okay." I gingerly reach out to take one of the sweets from the bag, but my fingers just go straight through the air, the subtle smell of sugar reaching my nose.

"Thanks…" I smile up at the old man, taking in his tired yet beaming features as he speaks these succinct yet confident words of wisdom to me. Mikasa would be happy to know that her friend is still smiling, but not if he’s stuck smiling here.

"No problem." And just like that he was gone; he didn’t even walk off, just vanished into thin air. We sit there for a moment in silence once more, neither Levi nor I quite sure how to take in the previous interaction.

_"So… how does that work then, did he die with the sweets…or did the sweets die with him…?"_

"Levi…"

_"Were they ghost sweets, can we purchase, is there an other worldly confectionary stand no one told me about?"_

"Levi!" He finally looks at me, my own face tired but semi relaxed since I’ve been distracted from the voices around the hospital.

 _"What is it Eren, I appreciate you’re having a particularly off day today but you don’t need to snap at me like I’m some_ fucking _teenager."_

"An off day?!" Bert having already been forgotten, I remember all of the other shit that’s thrown my day off so far. "…you’re the one who’s _fucking_ avoiding me, have I done something to piss you off, if so please…" I gesture my hands out, trying hard to keep my voice low. "…enlighten me…!" Levi just sighs and looks away, avoiding the question. "Fuck sake Levi..."

_"Eren…"_

"CANYOUHEARMEWHATSHAPPENINGPLEASESOMEBODYAMIDEADWHEREAMI…"

"UUrrgh, please just shut up!!" I don’t hear anything Levi says after my name, just the voices running through my head…

"Mr Jaeger…!"

 _"Eren…"_ I feel Levi gingerly shake my shoulder.

"WHYISTHISHAPPENINGAMIINAHOSPITALDIDIDIEISHECOMING…"

"Mr Jaeger, your prescription is…" I can hear the muffled voices of the hospital staff around me, but the disembodied voices start taking over more space than ever.

 _"Eren! You can’t do this here, they’ll haul your ass straight to the psych ward… come on kid, block it out…"_ Levi shakes my shoulder again, this time gripping it tightly, bringing me back to the present.

"Mr Jaeger!" I peer up to see the same plump lady from before flagging me over. Shit… I get up abruptly from my seat, forcing Levi’s hand to fall from my shoulder. I walk quickly over to the front counter and collect my prescription, briefly thanking the woman before heading straight for the exit – not sparing another look at Levi since I know he has to follow me – avoiding me or not.

I start down the small corridor, walking passed patient room after patient room, before Levi catches up with me.

 _"Eren…"_  I don’t look back; I just want to get out of here, away from these voices…

"WAITSTOPCANYOUSEEMEIKNOWYOUCANSEEMEPLEASESTOP…"

 _"Eren you need to stop…"_  My head is swimming and my body feels like it’s starting to shut down, as if all of the life has drained out of me… " _Eren…"_  I stop in the middle of the deserted corridor and hear footsteps running to stop in front of me. As I open my eyes I look passed Levi to see almost a dozen people stood around us…no, not people….ghosts… " _Eren I think they all saw you talking to the spirits in the waiting room, they’ve been following you since you left."_ I look down at Levi’s concerned expression then up again and as soon as I make eye contact with the first one they all start stepping forward.

"PLEASE YOU CAN SEE US RIGHT…"

"YOU HAVE TO HELP ME…"

"HAVE YOU SEEN MY WIFE…"

"CAN YOU TELL ME WHERE WE ARE…"

The voices cloud the inside of my head like fog, my temples throbbing  and I wonder if this is how Levi felt before when he reached out to our world.

 _"Eren!"_ Levi’s voice is distant, mixed amongst the various tones and pitches of the dead around us, the circle of ghosts getting closer and closer as my eyes get heavier and heavier.

"Levi… I can’t…" The throbbing peaks as soon as an unknown arm goes to grab the back of my jacket and then the voices start fading, I hear Levi start yelling at the other spirits, but I only catch fragmented parts…

 _"…fucking back…I…to God…I’ll……you touch him again…….fuck you old man…"_  Can you even threaten a ghost? I feel my legs begin to buckle; I don’t know what’s wrong with me… " _Eren…"_  I can feel Levi touch the side of my face, the voices around us getting quieter and quieter. " _Eren I…you to focus on me okay, not them…they’re not…only me…"_  I nod my head slowly, not taking my eyes off of Levi’s, his words fragmented.

"I can’t…" I try to speak again but my brain’s shutting down. My legs finally giving way, but solid hands stop me from crashing to the floor and Levi starts talking again -the only thing my semi-conscious brain is able to pick up.

 _"…just need…get help…you’ll…okay Eren…….fucking knew…bad for you…my fault…"_  I didn’t really know what he was talking about, none of this was his fault… at least, that’s what I wanted to tell him…

But then it all goes dark…

 

(Levi POV)

 

 _"Fuck!"_  Eren passes out in the middle of the corridor before I can get him to sit down properly, and as soon as he loses consciousness, I lose my energy, forcing him to fall to the floor.

I look around us and see the small crowd of ghosts fading away, as if Eren had been this supernatural beacon that had drawn them in, but without him, they had no interest in staying. I look back down at Eren and try running my hand over his shoulder…

But nothing…

I let out a frustrated growl. I have no idea what was wrong with Eren…well, I had an idea… I had a pretty damn _good_ idea, but I had no idea how to fix it. We were in the middle of a quiet corridor where patients were left to rest, and no one had walked down it since we stopped here.

I need someone to help him…. because now I’m useless…

 _"Sorry Eren…"_  I clench my jaw and turn back to the last stragglers of spirits behind us since most backed off when I yelled at them. I wasn’t overly sure what you could threaten a ghost with, but it turned out I could get quite creative when I was scared…

Not scared of them…

Scared for Eren…

 _"Okay, uh… Eren, I know you can’t hear me but I’m gonna try find someone to help you okay…"_ I watch his face show no response, which I kind of expected, but his breathing is becoming more and more erratic. I need to find him help quick. I look up and down the corridor and I know immediately, my badge won’t let me get far enough.

I think for a moment and I know that there was only one thing I could do…

I clench my teeth and focus hard on what I want to do; I focus my body and the small pull I can always feel towards the other world every time I’m near Eren. I’d been avoiding him most of the day, not because I wanted to… God knows I didn’t want to…

But because I was scared I was hurting him…

All Eren had done for me since he found me was help me, in more ways than he knows… and all I’d done was take, take up his time, take up his space and take up his energy.

 _"I’m so sorry Eren…"_ I whisper it into the empty corridor and feel the small amount of energy left around us pulling me towards him – this was my chance.

I grab my badge from Eren’s back pocket and quickly stand up, sparing one more glance at Eren’s lifeless body, slumped up against the wall, the most comfortable position I could get him in before he lost consciousness. 

 _"I’ll be right back okay…"_  I take a deep breath and start running back down the corridor, praying to God I had enough time before I was forced to drop the badge in my hand. I check in the room windows, looking for anyone with a fucking pulse around here who could help. As I get towards the far end, I notice it opens up into a small nurse’s station – there’s got to be people around here.

But before I can get there a pain shoots straight through my temples, the same pain as before, that’s persisted in my head every time I’ve tried to ground myself to this world without Eren. I have to stop running, everything becoming weaker and weaker with every step I take, until the badge smacks down onto the hard floor, making an echo smatter through the cramped corridors.

Shit…

I look down at the badge then down to the nurse’s station – I think I could make it. I start walking again, slowly, away from the badge I’m forced to leave on the ground.

Five steps…

Ten steps…

Twenty steps…

I can hear the chatter of the nurses as they frantically patter up and down the area, looking for files and guiding patients around. I walk up to the counter desk where a very slender blonde woman is typing away on her computer and another woman organising various bottles in the back.

What the hell am I supposed to do; they can’t even see you Levi?

I run a hand down my face in frustration and decide I’ll try anything that I fucking have to…

 _"Excuse me!!!"_  I try banging my hands on the table but it doesn’t produce any noise, the women carrying on as if nothing had happened _. "EXCUSE ME!!! FUCK …PLEASE!!!"_ I step away from the counter and walk around in a circle, shoving the first piece of furniture I can come into contact with.

 _"Fuck. This. Being. Fucking. Dead. Bullshit!!!"_  I can hear the nurses start talking to each other again, so I turn around and see a mess of papers scattered across the floor… did I do that? I look down at my hands and over to the woman whose come over to clear it up.

And then I remember…

Emotions can be just as powerful as somebody else’s energy….

And fuck was I feeling a lot of shit right now, so I just have to use it…

I scan the room for something I could use to lure them down the corridor with and I spot the woman carrying the newly sorted pill bottles, placing them onto a counter top by the station entrance. Man I’d feel bad if I messed up her hard work…

But desperate times…

I walk over towards the counter and try to conjure up some kind of feeling, I don’t know how the whole emotion thing works – it was always kind of spontaneous for me, so I think about the past four days…

The past four days I’ve spent with Eren…

Eren, who’s slumped over unconscious somewhere down the corridor on his own…

Eren, whose been suffering more than I know he’d ever admit to since he started talking to us…

Eren… who’s probably as bad off as he is, because I wouldn’t stop taking from him…

I kick over the counter with more force than I was expecting and I watch the bottles clatter and splay far across the floor.

"Oh my God…!"

"What the hell, Sharon?"

"I don’t know…"

"Did you…"

"We need them for…"

I hear all of the nurses stop what they’re doing to run over to the mess on the floor, bottles slowly rolling further and further away down the corridor – to where Eren is. I walk over to the centre of the corridor in front of the largest cluster of bottles and I look down at the nurse who’s desperately trying to pick them all up before they can get further away.

 _"I’m really sorry about this…"_  I kick the pile, forcing at least thirty bottles further towards where I need the nurses to go.

"What the hell is happening!?" At least three nurses rush down the corridor and I hear the plastic bottles rolling along until…

"Hey, there’s someone down here…!" I start running towards the voice, heading back towards Eren where the three nurses must have found him, but then I’m stopped…

And I look back, seeing the glint of the badge lying on the floor… so I can’t get back to Eren…

"We’ve got an unconscious male, mid to late twenties… breathing is erratic and pulse high…!"

"Wait isn’t that Mikasa’s brother..."

Two more women run passed me towards the growing crowd gathered around Eren, and then they start taking him away in the opposite direction.

I look back at the badge and I know…

I need to figure out a way to get back to Eren… or…

Maybe…

…maybe he’d be better off if I didn’t…


	9. Not Alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A chapter of pure angst and fluff - hope you enjoy my Ereri friends <3333  
> Might be a bit shorter than usual chapters but then we should get back into some main plot points after this :D

"Any luck!?" I sit up in the hospital bed as Hange comes back into the room, closing the door behind them, already sinking my shoulders as they shake their head.

"Sorry Eren, I’ve asked and… checked lost and found, no one’s seen a badge around the hospital anywhere…I’m sorry."

I woke up about an hour ago and I was told that my body had been suffering from extreme exhaustion - I mean, I knew I was tired but I thought they were being a bit dramatic.

"It’s got to be around here somewhere Hange, he was w-with me before I passed out… it doesn’t make any sense!" My sister just left to get me something to drink so I was able to be open with Hange in the room. They came to see me as soon as they heard about the incident, worried that it could either be related to my new prescription…or Levi; my sister was already here mind you so asking questions was kind of hard.

When I woke up, Levi’s name was the first thing out of my mouth, like I said, he had been with me when I passed out, and that led to an unnecessarily misleading conversation with my sister – but she quickly shrugged it off due to the exhaustion. It took me seconds to realise I didn’t have the badge on me, not only from the lack of the physical object, but Levi’s presence was nowhere around, and that was something I didn’t even realise was so apparent, until it was gone.

I sigh and lean back in the bed, edging on panic.

Where is he…?

Did somebody find the badge and take it somewhere…?

Was it stolen…?

Is he okay…?

"What...w-what am I supposed to do Hange, he could be anywhere and my sister won’t let me leave this…f-frickin… _hospital!"_  I run a hand through my hair and try to even out my breathing.

"Eren…" Hange steps forward and rests a hand on my shoulder. "…it’ll be okay, Levi is a smart…man…ghost?" I let out a tired chuckle at Hange’s choice of confused words. "…wherever he is, we’ll find him, okay?" I nod my head slowly, not taking my eyes off of the crumpled sheets in front of me.

I’ve been waiting for the voices to come back since I regained consciousness, the dead bodies still roaming around – but there was nothing. Maybe it’s my lack of energy, maybe it’s because of what happened before – I don’t know, but I’m not about to start complaining about it.

"I need you to convince my sister that I can leave." I look up at Hange and see an unsure expression cross their face. ‘Come on Hange, I’m fine!’

"Are you?" I frown at my therapist who appears to be treading lightly with what they’re about to say. "Eren… I know you probably want to leave and find Levi but…" They shrug, gesturing to me in the hospital bed. "…You’re clearly not okay, and you haven’t been for a while."

"Hange…"

"And maybe…maybe some time apart from the...g-ghosts, will um… will help..."

"What!? What the hell is that supposed to mean, okay yeah, sometimes it gets difficult but…" I run a hand frantically through my hair, my whole body itching to get up. "…but it was never like that with Levi."

"Eren, think about it, you’ve been so tired lately and our theory around Levi’s manifestations revolved around taking from you, taking your _energy_ – we were stupid to think that wouldn’t be affecting you as much as it has been..."

"No Hange, none of this is Levi’s fault!"

"Calm down Eren, I’m just… Levi would never do anything intentionally to hurt you; you’ve both gotten so close over such a short time. Even though I can’t see him, having Levi around, just that sense of him… it has made me so happy and…" Hange looks more distressed than usual, an odd occurrence since they were generally the excited rather than the anxious type. "What I’m trying to say Eren is… maybe Levi left…"

"What…w-why…!?" I can feel my stomach begin to knot, the voice at the back of my head agreeing with what Hange was saying, my mind thinking back to Levi’s weird behaviour during the day. He had been avoiding me… "No!"

"Eren…"

"No Hange, Levi wouldn’t _leave_ …"

"If Levi suspected that he was hurting you then I really wouldn’t put it past him."

"S-so…what!? He’s selflessly gone out on his own because he thinks it’s what I _need_ – Bullshit!"

"Eren…"

"No Hange, he’s just gone off to… I don’t fucking know! But he’s coming back…" Is he? "…He wouldn’t leave…" Wouldn’t he? "…besides… he needs me…" Does he?

Or do you need him?

I can feel tears start to form in the corner of my eyes and I lean over, covering my face with my hands. Hange takes a step forward, resting a comforting hand on my back.

"Eren…" Their voice is quiet.

"I can’t do this Hange, not on my own." My own voice is muffled against my hands, quiet inside the empty hospital room.

"You’re not on your own Eren; you’ll never be on your own…"  I shake my head, appreciative of Hange’s words, but it wasn’t the same. Levi was a part of it; he was someone I knew understood every fibre of what I was going through…

He was keeping me sane… and I needed him…

"Hey?" I hear my sister come back into the room, closing the door gently behind her. "Eren!?" She runs over to the bed, my face still hidden and Hange moves out of the way. "What’s wrong… Eren?"

"I’m…" I sigh, lifting my head and using the back of my hand to get rid of any tears that managed to escape. "…I’m fine Mika, it’s just…" I shrug, not even knowing how to lie to my sister anymore. "…It’s nothing."

"Eren, you’ve been going non-stop lately and I should have made you slow down. You haven’t been out of the hospital nearly long enough to just jump back into your life before…"

"Mikasa--"

"No Eren, you’ve been so tired lately, talking to yourself, getting into trouble at _work_ … it’s just all been too much." She runs a hand affectionately through my hair, her motherly instinct as palpable as ever. I nod my head slowly.

"Yeah, I guess you’re right…it’s all just been…" I look down at my hands, remembering the feel of my fingers interlocked with Levi’s. "…too much." I look up at my sister and take the glass of water she offers out to me. "Hey, Mika?"

"Mmhmm?"

"How, um… how long was I out?" I had no way of telling what the time was in here and I needed to know how long Levi’s been missing – the longer he’s on his own – the more he might disappear.

"You were out most of the afternoon so…" She looks at her watch. "…it’s coming up to eight in the evening so we should be able to get you out of here soon."

"Really, already…?" My voice pitches with my excitement, surprised that my sister will let me leave so soon. 

"Since I can keep an eye on you at home whilst you rest, it seems rather silly to keep you here, taking up hospital space." I nod my head frantically, so frickin ready to get out of here. "But I mean it Eren, you _will_ rest!"

"Come on Mika, I’m fine now…"

"No Eren, you are clearly not fine, you collapsed in the middle of an empty corridor, you’re lucky the nurses found you how they did – Sharon thought it was some _holy_ miracle…" My sister lifts her arms in exasperation.

"What? The hell is that supposed to mean?"

"She says everything was going crazy in the nurse’s station, things flying about all over the place. The only reason they found you was because the E ward's pills were scattered _all_ the way down the corridor – was a nightmare to clean up but was still damn lucky. I saw the aftermath and helped them tidy up after I knew you were stable." I frown, looking over my sister’s shoulder to Hange. "Bunch of the nurses think you have some guardian angel or something, told them to stop being so stupid." Mikasa starts to trail off as she organises the things on my side table and excuses herself from the room to get my discharge papers.

"Levi…?" Hange looks down at me smiling and I let out a huff of air, a silent chuckle.

"Bastard caused a right mess for them to find you…" Hange laughs back.

Levi’s a lot of things but… a guardian angel….?

It was a funny thought…

 

My sister gets me out of the hospital shortly after Hange goes home and I watch every crevice of the hospital halls as we make our way to the exit – but there’s no badge. The drive home is quiet, my mind racing back through everything that happened during that day, any signs of what could have happened to my ghost, of where he could be, or why he would leave me alone.

We park outside the apartment complex and make our way inside…

"Eren, my boy, you look rather down. Where’s your friend?" I glance over to Mr Pixis who twirls his moustache, a concerned frown causing creases to form all around his old eyes.  I stop for a second and watch my sister start up the first flight of stairs, keeping my voice low when I try reply.

"I…he’s not here… at the moment…"

"Eren!" Mikasa stops and looks down over the bannister. "…is everything okay, are you coming up?"

"Uh, yeah, I just needed a minute…" My sister accepts the excuse and keeps going up the stairs – I turn back to the old ghost.

"Mr Pixis?"

"Yes Eren?"

"I was wondering…" I rub the back of my neck, my body still exhausted – more emotionally than ever. "…you know…never mind." I smile at him, swiftly walking away from the conversation. What am I supposed to say, walk up and be like 'hey, you ever sucked the life slowly out of anyone, is that a thing, can that happen?' Fuck sake! I get back to the apartment and walk in on my sister making a cup of tea, her concern slipping through before she can hide it from me.

"Hey, you alright?" I nod my head and walk over to her, picking up a mug. "Eren?" I glance over to her, overly aware of the lack of sarcastic comments in the background.

It’s too quiet…

"Yeah?"

"I want you to get some rest okay, stay in tomorrow, maybe take Monday off…" I’m already shaking my head before she can finish. "Eren…!"

"No Mikasa, I don’t want to just…" I gesture out wildly. "… _stop_ … I need to keep going, I need to…"

I need to keep myself busy

I need to find Levi?

I need to help Isabelle

I need to find out what happened

I need…

I need to… move on?

"Eren, I know…" I jump down from the counter, sliding the mug back over to her.  

"No Mikasa! Y-you don’t…fucking _know,_ okay…you don’t know what the fuck I’ve been going through. I don’t know what the hell I’m supposed to do now, people...people are relying on me, people are looking to me for help, a-and I don’t even know how to fucking help myself right now…!" My sister gingerly takes a step towards me as I have my melt down in the middle of the room. "…I’m all alone because he just left and…" I lean against the back of the couch and sink to the floor, my voice going quiet. "…I can’t do this on my own." I can feel the tears again which only fuels to make me angrier.

Tears don’t accomplish anything…

"Eren…I…" Mikasa lowers herself to kneel in front of me. "…you’re right, I don’t know what you’ve been going through, you’ve been in an entire world of your own lately and I’m not a part of that…" I shake my head, lifting it up to look at my sister, her own eyes glassy. Mikasa never cries…

She was always the stronger one…

"No, Mika, you know that’s not what I meant…" I don’t bother wiping the tears away that fall down my cheek.

"Its fine, I just want you to know that you can come to me about anything, whatever it is, even if you think I won’t understand, I’ll still be there to listen." The speech rings many parallels to the one she gave me before I came out.

But there’s a big leap from “I think I’m gay” to “I can see dead people”…

I nod my head and rest it back against the couch, starting to come down from my small breakdown. My sister sits down beside me and I can sense she wants to say something else.

"Eren, you…said that somebody left…" My shoulders go stiff as she says it, realising that I went off on one and totally said shit I shouldn’t have. "Were you…talking about Reiner?" My head shoots up at her question.

"What, no! No Mikasa, I don’t… _I_ left Reiner, and besides, that asshole just needs to move on."

"You’re going to have to talk to him at some point Eren; it was really hard to get him to leave this morning." I can’t believe that was this morning – feels like a lifetime ago. "He needs to hear it from you…"

"He did…"

"I mean in person…"

"Yeah, he _did_ , when I fucking broke up with him Mika!" She sighs and seems to realise she needs to approach whatever she wants to say differently.

"I get that Eren but you were in the accident before anything could really be…" She shrugs. "…finalised? I don’t know." I try to think of some excuse, tell her how stupid that is, but all that comes out my mouth is an exaggerated moan – throwback to my teenager days. "Okay, fine…end of that conversation." We sit there for a few minutes in silence, both of us in our own heads.

I hated the silence now…

"If you weren’t talking about Reiner, were you talking about dad?"

"Oh my God Mika, can you just let it go!?"

"No Eren, I’m worried, it’s clearly something that’s got you all het up, don’t think I haven’t noticed."

"No, Mika, I wasn’t talking about dad…"

"What about Levi?"

"What!?"

"You said that name when you woke up, I figured maybe you’d been seeing someone, or…" I close my eyes and groan into my hands. "…Eren just talk to me." I stand up from my spot on the floor, looking down at my sister, resignation starting to settle over her features.

"I’m gonna go to bed…"

"Eren…"

"It’s…it’s fine Mikasa, it doesn’t matter anymore anyway." I just want to be alone now.

Which is kind of ironic…

Considering that’s what I’m scared of most…

 

I wake up Sunday morning after a long night of bad dreams and constant replays of the day before. I sit up in bed, the morning sun waking me up rather than a light slap in the face. I look over to my wardrobe where my mirror is hidden beneath yesterday’s clothes – I wonder what Levi really thought when he saw his reflection…

Bet he has no idea how beautiful he is… _was_ …

I think about getting up but decide that I’d rather stay here until…well, until everything magically works out.

"Eren!" There’s a knock at my door and I throw the duvet over my head, the door creaking open as if on cue. "Eren are you awake?"

"No!"

"Come on Eren, I made you some breakfast, we need to make sure we keep your body full of necessary energy."

"I’m not hungry…"

"Please Eren, eat something, for me…" I sigh and throw the covers off.

"What time is it?"

"Just after nine, I want you to eat something and then rest for the day." I nod my head and stand up – I guess I’ll go stock up on some 'necessary energy'.

 

The day passes by in a blur, Mikasa not letting me leave the house, but all I can think about is going out, looking for that badge. Not that I’d know where to start.

I’m lain out on the couch when there’s a loud knock at the door, which confuses me because the suns already setting outside – Sunday’s nearly over – go home folks. I start to stand up but my sister beats me to it.

"Don’t worry, I’ll get it!" She jogs to the front door and opens it, revealing…

"Armin?" I sit up and jump over the back of the couch as he walks into the apartment, swiftly followed by Jean and Hange. Mikasa closes the door behind them and gestures for everyone to take a seat somewhere. "What are you guys doing here?"

"Mikasa invited us, thought it would be good for you – she said you’d been a bit down." Armin smiles at me but I can see the concern lacing his blue eyes.

"Well, thanks, I guess…" I look over to Hange. "…Why are _you_ here?" I very much considered Hange a friend by this point, but I found it strange that my sister would think the same. In her mind Hange was still just my therapist.

"I’m here in case you wanna talk!" Hange beams at me, moving quickly to throw an arm around my shoulder. I try smile, actually happy to see my friends, but something still feels overwhelmingly missing.

Everyone stays for dinner, but I don’t say much, not so easily distracted from it all.

"Hey, mind if I sit?" I glance up at Armin who gestures to the empty chair beside me up the table - Jean, Hange and Mikasa busy laughing in the kitchen. I was alone, trying to rack up some conscious list on how to go about finding Levi… or some pros and cons on letting him go, because eventually, he was gonna go anyway – right?

"Go crazy…" I gesture my head at the empty spot, then turn my attention back to the drink in my hands.

"You’ve been awfully quiet, you okay after this afternoon?" I nod again, tired of being asked if I was okay. "…Well…Eren when I saw you the other day I thought you seemed really well, like… you were actually pretty happy and you had a lot going on – but in a good way, you’d really jumped back into everything very positively and it was so nice to see that." Armin spins his own glass around subconsciously. "Having said that…" I clench my jaw, worried about what he was gonna say. Armin was always crazy perceptive and getting anything passed him wasn’t easy. "…your attention was elsewhere a lot of the time."

"You think so…?"

"And I don’t know if it’s something you’re worrying about or…" He shrugs.

"Did my sister send you over here to talk to me?"

"No Eren, I sent _myself_ …" I look up at him -I just wanted to go back to bed and forget all of it… "You’ve always been independent Eren, you don’t like relying on people for things and you’ve always been that way. And I appreciate that since you got out of the hospital you’ve probably wanted to cling to that, but… sometimes you need to stop and see that there are people who want to help you. Mikasa said that you thought you were alone but you’re not, you know that. No matter how far you try go out on your own, everyone goes back to their roots in the end, back to what they know, because it’s where they feel safe." I frown for a second, something Armin says making me think. "…There’s no shame in it either, asking people who care about you for help…"

Back to what they know…

"Eren…?" I glance back at him.

Where they feel safe…

"Yeah, A-Armin, I know… I know that…" And Armin was right; I’ve always had a problem with taking on too much and never asking for help.

"You’ve been through a lot Eren, and you need to find someone you feel you can talk to. Hange seems like they’ve been doing good work, but even they say that there’s so much you don’t say…we’re just worried about you… Eren?"

"Sorry Armin, I have to go…" I stand up abruptly from the table and run into my bedroom, throwing on my boots and a jacket.

"Eren?!" I come out of the room and I’m immediately faced with my sister. "Where the hell do you think you’re going?"

"I need to be somewhere Mikasa…" I try walk past her but she puts a hand out, everyone else walking over to see what was going on.

"I don’t think so, you’re supposed to be resting, where could you possibly need to be at this time of night, plus it’s pouring it down with rain outside?" I clench my jaw again and look over her shoulder to Hange, pleading them with my eyes to understand and help me out.

"Maybe you should wait Eren…" I glance out the window, the rain running down the glass –no, it can’t wait…

I push past my sister and grab my phone on the way to the door.

"Eren Jaeger, get back here right this--" I slam the door behind me and sprint down the hallway…

 

(Levi POV)  


"So you ran?"

_"I didn’t run, I just…"_

"Ran?" I glance over to frown at the small girl beside me.

 _"I’m not about to let an eight year old lecture me…"_  Isabelle shrugs, watching a sketchy guy make his way across the road towards the underground –it was getting late, the rain was pelting down and the streets are as empty as they’re gonna get in this part of the city.

"Maybe you should just talk to him about it, Eren would understand…" Would he, he’s probably pissed about me taking off -  I wonder what he did when he noticed the badge was missing.

 _"It just… it would have been so much easier if I could have met him when I was f-fucking…alive…"_  I run a hand through my hair, trying desperately to calm my non-existent heartrate. My energy was lower than it had been in days, probably _since_ I met Eren. Once I was sure he was safe at the hospital, I just sat there in the corridor, waiting for something to happen – I wanted to go see him, to make sure he was alright, but I also saw it as an opportunity…

Or an excuse to run…

Isabelle was right...

I had sat there watching the depressing world of the hospital go round, nurses running around frantically, obviously paying me no mind. I sat there watching this clockwork display of give and take – people giving life, people taking it – the whole building was full of this energy that was, from what I could tell, up for grabs. It took a while for me to feel up to it, but I managed to pick up the badge, feeling the buzz of energy from strangers run through my body. I looked down the corridor, then back to the exit…

I just needed to clear my head…

"Have you ever told him that?" I look at Isabelle again and sigh.

_"No…"_

"It would probably be a nice thing to hear."

 _"How, it would just make him upset…"_  It was Isabelle’s turn to sigh.

"You know…" She turns her small body to face mine. "…for such a smart guy, you’re kinda dumb."

 _"Excuse me?"_  I raise my eyebrow, not overly keen on being ridiculed by the eight year old dead girl.

"You ran because--"

_"Because I was scared I was hurting him…"_

"Are you sure it wasn’t because you were scared about something else?"

When I left the hospital I didn’t know where I was going and I could already feel the energy seeping from my body, before I knew it I was gonna be ripped from my last connection to the living, breathing world. I walked slowly, my body taking me in some direction which just felt right, my badge discreetly floating in mid-air. It caught the eye of a few passers-by, but when there’s something humans can’t explain or rationalise, most just ignore it.

I sigh at Isabelle’s question and look down at my hands, then I hold them up, the light from the streetlamp across the road coming through. Twenty four hours without human contact and my body was already disappearing. The only silver lining being that I don’t get wet from the rain.

_"What else is there to be scared of?"_

"Maybe…maybe you’re worried about hurting Eren in other ways…?" I stare out into the empty street, water running down the side of the road, then back at Isabelle. It’s hard to believe she’s only eight years old, but then I remember her family, and remember how she wasn’t allowed to be eight years old at heart – forced to grow up quicker than she should have.

I don’t know what to say, I don’t even know what I’m doing here – was I waiting –if so, for what?

Eren?

When I finally realised where the badge had brought me yesterday I was stood outside the police department, my body had taken me back to where I had been trapped for the past five years.

I didn’t want to go back inside…

I crossed the road and sat down on Isabelle’s bench, the girl nowhere to be seen at the time, and as soon as I stopped moving, my body gave up, the badge falling between the gaps in the bench. I take a deep breath and start to wish that I _could_ feel the rain on my face…

I miss feeling things…

I glance down and see the shimmer of my badge bellow me from where it landed yesterday. I haven’t had nearly enough energy since to try pick it up, I don’t think I could even stand up from the bench if I wanted to. I was relieved when Isabelle appeared later this evening, worried that much longer on my own and my mind would have begun to spiral.

"Well, what are you gonna do now?" I withdraw at Isabelle’s question, putting my head in my hands, listening to the sound of the rain around us.

 _"I don’t know… I can’t do any of it on my own."_  I pull lightly at the roots of my hair, trying to feel something other than nothing. " _…maybe I should just go back to being…just… some ghost."_

"But you’re not… _just some ghost_ …" She tries a poor imitation of my voice, which actually makes me smile into my hands. "…At least not to Eren…" I rest my elbows on my knees and hang my head in my hands.

What’s the point?

I should be dead, right, so why can’t I just be dead….?

"Well I think you should just talk to him…?" I don’t look up from my position, relishing in my bubble of self-pity.

 _"And how am I supposed to do that… I’m stuck here, slowly losing what small semblance of reality I’ve managed to cultivate over the past week. Eren’s probably pissed at me anyway…"_  I shake my head slowly, watching the water drip off the leaves that had blown underneath the bench. " _…I’d love to ask him what the hell he was thinking… why he thought any of this was worth it…"_

"Well… then ask him…" Isabelle says it like it’s the easiest thing in the world. I lift my head to look at her, frowning when she gives me a smug smile, then she turns to look out at the street -and so I do the same.

And standing there under the street lamp across the road was a drenched, tired looking Eren…

 _"Eren?"_  It comes out like a whisper, not nearly loud enough for him to hear it from here. It’s too dark to see the look on his face as he makes his way across the road, slowly, almost like he was approaching a cat…

Like he was afraid I’d run away…

I sit up straight and watch him stop a few paces away, his expression now clear in the closer street lamp. Rain falls from the tips of his hair, his clothes soaked through – God he looks beautiful…

I don’t know what to say, neither of us quite sure what we’re supposed to do. Do I apologise, am I sorry… yes – I didn’t want to leave...

God, I didn’t want to leave…

I watch Eren’s face, waiting for some emotion I can work with, is he angry, probably… I’d be angry. I wait for him to ask why; I wait for him to yell at me…

I wait for him to tell me that was it…you’re not my problem anymore…

But he just smiles, that Eren smile which made me forget I didn’t technically have a pulse anymore – but it sure felt like I did…

I shouldn’t have left…

"~I’m Henry the eighth I am…~" Eren starts to sing it quietly and my stomach flips, a smile breaking out on my face. "…Henry the eighth I am I am…"

 _"Eren you--"_  He smiles at my protest and raises his voice over mine.

"~I got married to the widow next door. She’s been married…~" He takes a step forward until he’s stood directly in front of me, so I stand up, my body pulling me towards him like a beacon.

 _"~seven times before…~"_  Eren beams when I finish the song, the 'Ghost' reference going right over Isabelle’s head. Eren takes one more step forwards and looks down at me, the drips from his hair merging with tears running down his face.

"I don't know you. I don't know Sam, but let me tell you what he did to me. He kept me up all night singing 'I'm Henry the Eighth I Am.'." Eren says the quote quietly, the movie becoming like this olive branch. I reach up and run my fingers across Eren’s cheek, my body not even remotely affected by my lack of energy… it was like…

 _"That’s how he got me to go out with him…"_  I respond to the quote accordingly and Eren laughs.

"I guess _you’re_ Demi Moore now…" He winks at me and I scoff. "Well… you’ve got the hair for it."

 _"True… she had great hair in that movie."_ We both laugh and nod in agreement. " _You’ve brushed up on the movie…?"_ I raise an eyebrow and feel Eren shrug under my touch.

"Mikasa wouldn’t let me leave the house today so…felt like a good time…" I look into his eyes, wondering how the hell I walked away from this.

 _"I’m sorry Eren…"_  My voice is so quiet, the sound of the rain almost drowning it out completely. Eren shakes his head, his own voice quiet.

"Levi…why…why did you leave?" I shrug this time and remove my hand from his cheek, griping the front of his shirt, the rain finally soaking my own clothes. My body was as tangible as ever, every drop falling down my face – like Eren refilled any energy I had lost.

_"I was scared… I thought I was hurting you…"_

"So you left…?!" Eren’s voice raises slightly, his annoyance finally slipping through and I grip his shirt that bit tighter.

 _"I… I’m sorry Eren…"_  I was never one to feel weak, I was always the emotionless one, the stoic one, the guy who didn’t need anyone’s help… but I needed Eren. I look down and clench my jaw; I was so tired, my emotions having more control over my body than my conscience lately. I lean my head against Eren’s chest and glance down at Isabelle who mouths at me…

Tell. Him.

I lift my head up and take in Eren’s conflicted expression, his body starting to shiver from the cold.

 _"Eren…"_  I briefly glance down then back up, wishing I could offer him some kind of body heat, but I can’t – because I’m dead _. "…I… really wish I could have known you whilst I was alive…"_  Eren smiles at me, but it’s quickly replaced with a sad expression, his eyes looking down at the floor.

"Yeah… me too…" Then he looks back up and I feel his hands gently cup the sides of my face, tracing his finger along my jaw line and wiping away the rain acting as my own tears. "But I know you _now_ … and that’s all I want…"

 

 


	10. Reflections

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aahhhhh, I am so sorry for the big delay! I had a bad writing block for my other fic which pushed this one back and then life got hectic with moving back home for the summer - but here I am!! Updates should be easier now everything's settled.
> 
> This chapter was supposed to get a bit further in the story but it ended up being a lot fluffier than I'd planned and it's very dialogue based - but you guys know how much I like my dialogue XD hehee Also the whole chapter is from Eren's POV, no Levi POV today I'm afraid and it carries straight on from the last chapter.
> 
> Really hope you enjoy it!! Thank you all so much for your beautiful comments and support, they mean the world to me and I love sharing this fic with you!!! <33333

I can feel the cold sweeping through my jacket, everything I’m wearing now soaked through to the bone. My arms are tight around Levi, his head buried against my chest.

 _"You know…"_ Levi’s voice comes out muffled. " _…dead or not…I’m getting really fucking cold…"_ He really did have a talent for ruining beautiful moments. I sigh.

"How can you feel cold, you’re a ghost… you can’t _feel_ anything?" I can sense Levi shuffle slightly to look up at me, his voice finally clear when he speaks next.

 _"Well I can feel everything when you’re around…"_ My stomach flutters when he says it, even though I know he didn’t mean it in a romantic way. This is definitely a new development on Levi’s end, and something we needed to explore later on.

"Okay, well, then I’m sorry, I can just go if you want?" I knew I was teasing him and I start taking my arms out from around him, but his own cling tighter.

 _"You know that’s not what I meant!"_ I chuckle, about to tease him some more when I feel my phone vibrating in my back pocket. I fish it out and leave my free hand resting on Levi’s lower back.

"Shit it’s my sister…" I had about five missed calls and a plethora of text messages, some from her, some from Armin and even one from Jean. I don’t answer it and watch it go to voice mail. "She’s gonna kill me for this." Levi seems to contemplate this for a moment and looks up again, his expression revealing nothing.

" _I suppose it could make things easier since we’d both finally be on the same plain of existence."_ I can see the corner of his mouth quirk up in a smile and I shove him lightly without letting him go.

"Funny, I suppose when you put it like that…" My phone goes off again. We really should go. "…we should probably go back, Mikasa’s no doubt freaking out and I don’t know if everybody else has gone home."

_"Everybody else?"_

"Yeah, my sister seemed to organise some kind of…" I shrug. "…I don’t know, Eren intervention. They’ve probably all left by now anyway."

 _"Eren intervention?"_ Levi smirks. " _Was it really that bad without me?"_

Yes…

"No…! I’ve just… had a lot happen lately, you know." Levi doesn’t look convinced and I don’t blame him – I wouldn’t have believed me either. I put my phone back in my pocket and take a step away from Levi, ready to head back to the apartment. I turn to glance at Isabelle, who I felt kind of bad for neglecting over the past few days, but she was gone.

 _"Her energy must have run out…"_ Levi says it quietly and I look at him, the rain already going straight through him. It was as if as soon as we stopped touching, he went back to being a ghost, like I had brought him to life with a single touch. It was certainly different and something we needed to talk to Hange about tomorrow.

"I’ll organise it so we can go talk to her teacher tomorrow. With everything else going on I feel bad for leaving her here on her own." Levi looks over to me and nods. We have to make sure we don’t forget about Isabelle. "…Um, where’s your…badge…?" Levi looks momentarily surprised then seems to remember, pointing underneath the bench.

 _"Once I got here I ran out of energy to hold onto it physically, so I dropping it and it fell through the gaps of the bench."_  I kneel down in front of the bench and reach my arm out, not bothering to worry about my knees resting in puddles or my hand ciphering through leaves. I find the badge and pull it out. I stand in front of Levi and clean the mud off it to reveal the same glimmering gold from underneath.

"I’m not letting this out of my sight again…" I smile, but Levi seems perturbed by the presence of his anchor. "What’s wrong?"

 _"I’m sorry…"_ I shake my head immediately, he’d already told me he was sorry and I wasn’t even angry at him.

"Levi…"

 _"No, you could have…"_ He sighs " _…I didn’t even know if you were okay, and I took off because I was scared."_ Oh…

"Levi…" I take a step towards him again and rest my forehead inches from his own, the effect of our bodies on each other’s, something we didn’t know how to handle. "…I’m fine; I promise…at least, I am _now_." I put the badge into my back pocket, finally back to where it belonged.

We start heading back down the street, the rain pelting down, although I was already so wet it didn’t really make much of a difference. I hope I don’t get a cold after all this. We walk side by side without touching and I notice when I turn to glance at Levi, the light from the street lamps across the road seeps through his body. It was like looking at the street through a tinted window.

"How do you feel now...? I mean like, are you still cold?" Levi doesn’t look up at me and we keep walking.

 _"No…I don’t feel…"_ He finally looks up and shrugs. " _…anything."_ He sounds almost sad when he says it and if I said the change in his body’s behaviour didn’t worry me…

I’d be lying…

Levi looks back down and I feel my stomach drop. I take his hand without really thinking and intertwine our fingers together, squeezing his hand to tell him I’m here. As soon as I do it the rain drips down his face and his body becomes as solid as my own.

"Well I’d rather you feel cold than nothing." He looks up again and this time he smiles, both of us as drenched and cold as each other.

 

We make it back to the apartment in the early hours of the morning. I find my key and quietly open the door, trying hard not to drip water all over the floor. I ease the door closed behind us, still not letting go of Levi’s hand. I whisper into the dark and empty room.

"Maybe she’s gone to bed…"

"EREN!?" My sister sprints out of her bedroom, charging towards me. "I’m so glad you’re okay!" She grabs me into a tight hug and I attempt to reciprocate it with my one free hand. She lets me go and turns the light on, both Levi and I squinting from the drastic adjustment. I take Levi’s hand in mine and hide it subtly behind my back, since I figured it would look a bit strange to someone on the outside. "You must be freezing…!" Mikasa grabs a towel and passes it to me. I see her glance down onto the floor and frown at the puddle building underneath me, then she looks behind me, noticing the puddle building underneath Levi.

I worry for a moment and debate whether to let Levi’s hand go. In theory, when I do, he won’t have the solidity in this plain for the rain to run off of him, but I can’t…

I don’t want to…

"I’m sorry…" I choose to distract my sister instead. "…Um, I’ll clear up the mess and you should go back to bed, you probably have to work in the morning..."

"Eren, we should talk about this…"

"No, Mikasa…I…" I don’t really know what to tell her, all I know is that I’m finally okay. I squeeze Levi’s hand knowing that I’m more than okay – so that’s what I tell her. "…I’m okay Mika, I promise, I really am…" I smile at her but she looks unsure. After a moment, however, she takes a step back, the mess on the floor forgotten and her faith in my sanity marginally restored.

 

I lead Levi into my room and close the door behind us, everything finally feeling like it’s sorted itself out, well…apart from the dead people.

I look over at Levi who lets go of my hand, his eyes roaming over the room as if he hadn’t seen it in months, like it hadn’t been merely forty eight hours since he’d been in here last.

Although, it felt way longer than forty eight hours…

"Um, what exactly…" I step away from the door and awkwardly gesture to Levi. "…you’re um, you’re clothes are wet, but…so, how does that work…?" I rub the back of my neck and close my eyes. Way to go Eren- that was real articulate of you. I hear Levi chuckle at my literary incompetence and he takes a step towards me, making me open my eyes.

 _"I don’t think it will be a problem…"_ He shrugs his shoulders and I take in his semi-drenched shirt, sticking to pale marble skin. " _…perks of being dead I guess…"_ I smile and go to the wardrobe to find myself some dry clothes, removing my own soaked through t-shirt.

"I’m just gonna get changed…" I gesture to the bed and chuck his badge onto the covers. "…make yourself…comfortable, I guess. I won’t be long." I nod my head and start for the bathroom, but something stops me and I look back.

 _"Go Eren, I promise I’ll still be here when you come back…"_ Levi’s deadpan tone contrasts with his smile, so I smile back, leaving to finally dry off.

When I emerge from the bathroom, dry and overwhelmingly knackered, I find Levi, sat, cross-legged on my bed. He appears to have removed his jacket, his shirt sleeves rolled up to his elbows. He was staring out of the window, his mind seemingly elsewhere. I wonder what happens when he removes a piece of clothing. Does it just…disappear; does it become an independent ghost jacket…?

"You took your jacket off?" Levi turns to look at me and raises an eyebrow, his expression looking at me as if I’d asked a rather stupid question. Heck, maybe I had…

 _"Yeah…? Is that a problem?"_  

"No! Um, I mean…" I sigh and run a hand through my hair. "…It’s still hard to understand how parts of you interact with the living world. Plus, I’ve never seen you without a jacket before…" Levi interrupts my ramblings by pointing to a piece of fabric draped over the back of my desk chair. I walk over to it, my hands running over soft, damp cotton. His jacket…

How is that even possible…?

 _"It wasn’t particularly comfortable to wear once I’d gotten drenched, as you can probably imagine."_  I look at the jacket, then over to Levi.

"Your clothes are still wet, doesn’t it bother you?" I frown, walking over to him on the bed.

 _"I can’t feel anything remember Eren, the clothes will dry soon. The water needs something solid to stick to and I’ve got next to no energy running through me on my own."_ I take another step forwards and run my hand along his jaw, then up and through his hair. Droplets start falling from the dark raven ends.

"You’re still wet…it…I don’t understand how it’s possible." Levi just shrugs, not looking particularly worried about the perplexing scenario. Actually, if anything, he looks completely knackered himself...

Can ghosts _feel_ tired?

 _"Honestly Eren, I’ve kind of given up on understanding any of this."_ I remove my hand from his hair and run it down the front of his shirt. " _You do realise I have to feel the cold damp clothes when you touch me like that."_ I still don’t remove my hand, feeling rather confused.

"The clothes you’re in now are part of your energy makeup. As a ghost you exist as this _one whole_. It doesn’t make any sense if parts of you can exists separately, i.e. removing clothing."

 _"I suppose we could talk to Hange about it… everything’s kind of…"_ Levi looks away for a moment, contemplating something. " _…worked differently, since we spent time apart."_ I nod.

"I suppose you’re right, I guess we’ll talk to Hange tomorrow and… I just feel bad, for making you stay in them."

_"It’s not like there’s anything you can do, I can’t even borrow any of your clothes. I can’t interact with anything independently at the moment…except from you, obviously…"_

"Yeah, that’s… that’s really weird…" We both sit there for a moment, thinking over the confusing questions tonight has put forward. "I’ll be back in a moment…" I say it quite abruptly and leave the room, promptly returning with a towel.

_"What are you doing…?"_

"Take off your shirt."

 _"I beg your pardon…"_ I laugh at Levi’s tone and amend my request.

"I, uh… I’m gonna try dry you off a bit, so… it’s probably better if you take your shirt off. That way, you won’t feel uncomfortable whilst I try dry your hair." With my new explanation Levi starts undoing the buttons of his white soaked shirt and removes it, chucking it in my direction. I catch the shirt and toss it by the door, ready to be taken to the laundry room in the morning.

Can you launder ghost clothes… pretty sure there isn’t a setting for that…?

 _"Eren?"_ I shake my head and turn to Levi, still sat on my bed.

Sigh…

Damn you hot ghost…

 _"You know…I’m starting to think this was all just an elaborate ruse to get me half naked in your bedroom…"_ I laugh, taking in the beautiful dips of his stomach, the physique of someone who was constantly on the move.

"Can’t help but feel there must have been a _much_ easier way of getting to this point…"

 _"You callin’ me easy…?"_ I nearly drop the towel at Levi’s teasing frown and sit down on the bed, still laughing.

"I’m saying…" I turn to look at him and manoeuvre myself so that I can begin running the towel over his head. "…I wish it didn’t have to be so difficult, or that we could have at least avoided me being hospitalised… and you wrecking the nurses station…"

_"I did that for you…!"_

"I know, and I’m very grateful..." We move to face each other, making it easier for me as I work through his hair. "…genuinely though, thank you…"

_"You don’t have to--"_

"No Levi, I didn’t thank you before but… God knows how long I could have been passed out in that corridor if you hadn’t done something. Some of the nurses think I have a guardian angel..." I watch Levi’s eyebrow rise once again in typical Levi fashion.

 _"I’ve been called a lot of things during the thirty-four years I was alive Eren, but never something so…allegorically virtuous …"_ I chuckle at his choice of words.

"Not a religious man then?"

 _"I mean…before I died I didn’t think there was shit after death…"_ Levi gestures his arms out. " _…but look at me now…"_

"What about God?"

 _"If there is a God, he can suck my Patrick Swayze dick Eren…"_  Wow, such a way with words…

"How can you say that after everything you’ve been through? If there’s life after death, doesn’t that lead you to believe--?"

 _"Look, Eren, by all means, you can believe in whatever you want, I would never tell you otherwise…"_  I briefly catch my reflection in Levi’s grey eyes and rest my hands gingerly in his lap, not wanting to lose the contact. " _…but if there is a God, he hasn’t exactly dealt us a great set of cards, has he…?"_

"I guess…" I look down for a moment and try to put my thoughts into words that could do them justice. "…I guess I’m just worried, you know…for you…"

_"Eren…"_

"When you go, for whatever reason and you stop existing as a ghost…" I look up at him. "…we don’t know where you’re gonna go, we don’t even know if there’s anywhere _for_ you to go. I guess I just like to hold onto the thought that, when you finally leave me, you’ll be going to a… an allegorically virtuous place…" I smile at my use of Levi’s earlier words, but I know it doesn’t reach my eyes -my fears finally layed out on the table.

 _"Eren…"_ I feel Levi’s hands rest on top of my own. " _Eren, I would love to be able to tell you…"_ He sighs. " _….that I will never go…that if I do, I won’t be far away, that I’ll be in a better place… but I can’t, because I don’t know. All I know is that I am here now, and I want to spend what time I have here helping you…with you…"_ I nod my head, knowing that what Levi says is true, not wanting to hear him lie just to put my mind at ease. We sit there for a moment and I finish drying Levi off with the towel, his hair taking on this messy, almost bed head look.

"You’re cold…"

 _"Well yeah, that's because it’s fucking cold and I’m sat here without a shirt on and you turning_ on _every single nerve ending in my body…"_

"Sorry…" I chuck the towel beside Levi’s shirt and think for a moment. "…what if you wear this…?"

" _I don’t think…"_  I remove my own T-shirt and slip it over Levi’s head, avoiding any protest. Due to our height difference it comes up a couple sizes too big, even though Levi has broader shoulders and significantly more muscle. He looks kind of adorable…

Not that I’d ever tell him that…

"You look adorable…"

Okay, maybe I would…

Levi looks down at the drowning t-shirt and lifts it up with his delicate fingers. All through this I haven’t stopped any contact, making sure he can feel everything.

 _"Surely if you let go of me, it’ll just fall off?"_ Levi looks up at me, his protests abandoned but his eyebrows quirk up questioningly.

"I guess that just means…" I grab hold of his wrists and use my weight to throw us both down onto the bed. "…I won’t let go of you…"

 

 

"Did you get the info I needed?" I look down at Jean’s desk, paper’s scattered around, making it hard to decipher whether he actually had anything of any use. I glance back at Levi whose attention is still on the case file I gave him when we got here. He sits in my chair, gently swivelling back and forth whilst he reads.

"Here you go…" I drag my attention away from Levi and take the piece of paper from Jean. "…She went to a primary school out in the Colossal district, not far from where she lived. Should be easy to find."

"Thanks Jean…" As much as Jean and I have clashed in the past, he was always a pretty good partner, and he was definitely the man for finding information.

"What’s your plan exactly, I mean…" He chews on the edge of his pen and glances behind him before continuing. "…the case was closed; it was a hit and run, Eren. I don’t understand why you’re going out of your way for this?"

"It’s… I just have a feeling there’s more to this, you know?" He didn’t look like he did know, but he let it go.

"Okay, fair enough…you’re a good detective Eren and I couldn’t deny you have one of the best gut instincts in this office. Like a weird kind of…sixth sense…" You have no idea. "…just be careful, okay?"

"Yeah…of course…"

"Your sister actually said you weren’t originally coming in today but you seem better….I mean, better than last night. You were kind of freaking everyone out…" Jean chuckles nervously but I appreciate how I must have come across last night and my stomach drops a little at the worry I probably caused people – even Jean, apparently.

"Yeah, no, I’m uh…I’m all good now, and I’m sorry if I worried you guys. Plus, thanks for looking after my sister as well…"

"No man it’s fine, you clearly needed to sort some shit out, I understood. Your sister just worries about you Eren, she even asked me to keep an eye on you whilst you were here."

"Yeah, I bet she did…" I hold the paper up again; ready to go back to my own desk. "…Thanks again man…" But something stops me and I lean in once more. "…Hey, Jean?"

"Yeah?" He looks up from his computer.

"I wanted to ask you, if I wanted to, say…" I shrug. "…look into an old, rather sensitive case…what would be the best way of getting info on that?" He seems to think about it for a second, his expression taking on a rather concerned expression.

"Has this got anything to do with how you’ve been acting lately?" I didn’t really blame him for jumping to that conclusion – especially since the answer was _yes._

"No, it’s just…some difficult connections I’m finding in the, uh…Titan case…" I’m really not sure how convincing I’m coming across, but if I had to guess, I’d say not very.

"Well, can’t you just look at the files in the precinct?"

"Not…really, it’s a case which might have been buried…a little…"

"You saying…?" Jean quickly lowers his voice, eyebrows pinching on his forehead. "…there’s some kind of foul play going on?" I shrug lightly and glance quickly to Levi, then back to Jean.

"I just want to be careful…let’s say I want to find out about a specific case from a few years ago but…but I need to go over the precinct’s head. Is there anywhere else I could get access to a case like that?" I lean on the side of the desk, glancing around again for anyone who might be over hearing. Jean sighs, and I can tell he’s having some kind of moral dilemma inside. "…come on Jean…"

"Okay, okay…you could go to the forensic department…"

"The forensic department, how is that gonna help me?"

"The forensic department holds records for all of the cases it covers. It’s technically an outside party that gets hired by the precinct to cover the crime scene. If, and that’s a big _if_ , what your suggesting is true and info at the precinct has been compromised, then there should be an additional copy of the case in the forensic records. It’ll obviously cover a slightly different perspective on the case due to the goal of the department, but it’ll still have the general ins and outs of whatever it is you’re looking for." I nod my head, the idea coming together in my mind. That could work.

"How am I gonna get to those though, I have no grounds…"

"What about Armin?" Oh shit, why didn’t I think of that?

"Oh yeah… I’d feel kind of bad asking for a favour. I feel like I kinda blew him off last night, heck, I kinda blew you all off."

"I wouldn’t worry about it Eren, Armin’s always had your back. He was just worried last night, like the rest of us. I’d ask, he’d probably look the info up for you, this is Armin we’re talking about, Eren." I nod my head again and slap Jean on the back.

"Thanks again Jean, means a lot."

 

I walk back around to my desk and gesture for Levi to follow me as I keep going. I’ve learnt from past experience that when we wanna talk, we better go somewhere more secluded if I don’t want to look like a crazy person. We walk towards the evidence room but I can hear voices, so we keep walking further down the corridor. We stop outside the men’s toilets and I pull Levi inside behind me, making sure the door is fully closed and locked.

 _"Wow, never thought I’d miss the fucking evidence room…"_ I hold my hand up, stopping Levi from talking whilst I check the stalls – which in hindsight was rather unnecessary. Once I’m sure we’re the only two inside I turn back to him. " _You done?"_

"I’m just being cautious, I really need people to stop thinking I’m going off some kind of proverbial deep end."

_"So what did horseface say anyway?"_

"I have the address for Isabelle’s school, as a detective I can go and question her but she’d have to give any information voluntarily. Krista told me that without some kind of statement we can’t go any further. Best course of action is to explain what we know so far--"

 _"Avoiding the whole 'I talk to your dead student part'…"_  
  
"Well…yeah, we’ll tell her there have been suspicions on the family regarding their insurance claim or something, and then, we’ll see where it goes from there…"

 _"Okay…"_ Levi crosses his arms and leans against the sinks. I look up, glancing at my reflection, expecting to see the back of Levi’s head – but there’s nothing. " _…and what about this sensitive case, I assume you were referring to the one where I died?"_ I tear my eyes away from the reflection – or lack thereof – and focus on the conversation.

"Why did you ask me what he said if you just eased dropped through the whole thing?" Levi shrugs, his expression bored.

 _"You were like four feet away, I’m fucking dead, not deaf…so you gonna ask Armin?"_ I roll my eyes at him and sigh.

"Yeah, I just need to come up with some excuse…"

_"Well… what if you don’t?"_

"Don’t what?"

_"Come up with an excuse, Armin’s your friend, just tiptoe around the truth. Tell him you suspect foul play in the precinct and want to look into some questionable cases. He’s your friend, Eren, I’m sure he’d have your back…"_

"I…guess you’re right…" I look up at the reflection again and frown, this time causing Levi to wave his hand in front of me.

 _"Earth to Eren, what the hell do you keep spacing out for…"_ He turns around and immediately notices what’s been catching my attention. " _Oh…"_

"I don’t understand, you had one the other day…" I take a step towards him, his eyes taking on a sad quality that makes my heart skip a beat. "…Levi?"

 _"Well, it’s not like consistency is one of my most forthcoming qualities lately."_ I can tell he wants to shrug it off, but I’ve always found it hard to walk away from something that fills me with unease. I close the distance between us and circle my arms around Levi from behind, then looking up; I see the both of us. The reflection shows our height difference and I feel the relief make my shoulders sag.

"See… even if the rest of the world won’t reflect you, you’re still here…" Levi stares at his reflection, the same expression I saw on his face the last time we did this. "…I don’t know what’s happening but…but I promise we’ll figure it out." I circle my arms a bit tighter and bury my face into the crook of his neck. "…I promise I won’t let you disappear, at least… not yet, not until we’re ready…" I feel Levi lean back into my embrace.

_"It’s like…all of my energy is becoming concentrated. Before, it jumped from object to person to nothing…it didn’t really have a pattern, but now…"_

"Surely concentrated is good, I mean…" I lift my head back up and look down at him, then up at our reflection. "…it means your energy is becoming controlled…"

_"You say that like I have some kind of control over it, which I don’t!"_

"I know, but…we’ll just have to work on--" I’m interrupted by a loud thud at the door, someone clearly attempting to get into the men’s room. We wait for a moment, hoping the person will just move on.

"Come on Eren, open up! I know you’re in there!"

"Hange!?"

"Sasha saw you go in there, I came to see how you were doing. Mikasa messaged me this morning to tell me you got home okay but--" I walk over to open the door, the only way to stop them from spouting my business down the precinct corridors.

"I’m fine Hange…" I watch them lean into the room and look around. I step aside and let them in, closing the door once again behind us.

"So… whatcha doin’ hanging around in the men’s room all alone, Eren?" They look slightly concerned.

"I’m not on my own Hange, we just needed somewhere to talk so that--" I’m interrupted again by a high pitch squeal.

"You found him!? Thank God! Is he okay?" They glance around the room again, which was obviously pointless on their part. I look over at Levi who turns his back on the mirror, the reflection of just Hange and me.

"Yeah…yeah he’s okay…" I look down a moment and back to Hange, who doesn’t look convinced.

"You sure?" I expect Levi to walk over to Hange and let his presence be known, sending a cold touch their way – but he does nothing.

"Yeah, it’s just that his energy and…his body’s been interacting differently to the world than it did before." Hange nods their head, ponytail bouncing up and down.

"Okay, well…what kind of _different_ are we talking?" I share a look with Levi, and proceed to fill Hange in on what happened last night and the new development in Levi’s body’s behaviour.

 

"So…" Hange touches a finger to their chin, a thoughtful expression adorning their face. "…you’re saying that Levi’s energy has become concentrated, particularly when he comes into contact with you?"

"Yeah, so, it’s like any progress we made over the past week is completely erased when he’s on his own, but when I touch him he…" I rub the back of my neck awkwardly. "…he just kinda…comes alive. He’s more alive than ever."

"Interesting…" Hange shakes their head.

 _"Interesting is one word… I’m thinking more, pain in the fucking ass, but that’s how we differ…"_  I turn to look at Levi, still leant up against the sink with his arms crossed.

"They’re trying to help us Levi--"

"W-what is he saying, is he sassing me again?" I look at Hange, crossing my own arms.

"Always…"

"Awwwww! It’s so lovely to have you back Levi; it was awfully civil without you." Not sure that’s how I would have described my weekend.

_"So what’s the verdict shitty glasses, am I gonna disappear or become some super powerful ghost creature?"_

"Levi wants to know what you make of the situation Hange?" 

"Well…it’s hard to tell really. Everything we’ve been going off of so far is purely speculation and the theory works of an underpaid psychiatrist."

_"How reassuring…"_

"Perhaps, let me think about it, let’s say at the moment that it’s probably a good thing." I raise my eyebrows.

"You really think that?"

"No, but I find it’s best to stay optimistic in times like this. Just carry on with your day job and we’ll come back to it once I’ve had time to think. You got any leads to look into Levi’s case?"

"Yeah, I’m…uh, I’m gonna talk to Armin actually, about looking into the forensic department records. Levi and I need to go talk to Isabelle’s primary school teacher to see if she can give us a statement regarding the parents…"

"Awesome, so you’ve got lots to keep you preoccupied. If there’s any more changes to Levi’s behaviour let me know and I’ll organise for you to have a session with me, tomorrow maybe." I nod, comforted by Hange’s attitude. I look over at Levi to see how he feels about the plan, and if his expression is anything to go by then…well I have no fucking idea because his expression tells me nothing.

"Thanks Hange, we’ll talk to you again later." I walk over to Levi, still worried about his change in behaviour since we came in here. "Did you know he had a reflection the other day?" I choose to share a positive memory with Hange.

"That’s fascinating!"

"Yeah… but it’s gone now…" I run my hand down Levi’s arm, making him look up at me. "…and I don’t know why…" I feel Levi rest his palm on my cheek, his face frowning slightly.

 _"But_ I’m _not gone…not yet…"_ My stomach drops, knots forming from all my fears. I peer up, catching a glimpse of the both of us in the mirror, his reflection forming after our touch.

"I can never tell if you’re getting closer to me… or if I’m just closer to losing you." I don’t step away from Levi but look up into the mirror again. "…Sorry Hange, didn’t mean to…Hange?" I take a step back, keeping my hand resting on Levi’s side, and I turn to look at our friend. "Hange are you alright?" Their eyes are wide, staring into the smudged mirror, their face paling, almost as if they’d seen a…

_"Hange?"_

"Hange…can you…?" I spin my head back to stare into the mirror, seeing the three of us, then back to Hange. "…can you see him…?" My voice is quiet and they still haven’t looked away. I’m about to walk over to them when they take a step forward. I watch as Hange reaches an arm out and runs their hand gingerly down the mirrored glass.

"…Levi?" Their voice is so quiet, I wonder for a second if I’d heard them say anything at all.

"Hange?" I suddenly feel Levi turn around, holding my hand against his side to make sure he doesn’t disappear. I look up and I can see Levi’s perfect face obstructed in the mirror by Hange’s hand roaming down the glass.

 _"Hange…you can see me? You can…"_ Levi’s voice catches at the end and tears start falling down Hange’s face. They turn their head to look at us.

"You’re here…" They point at the mirror, then to where I appeared to stand on my own. "…but you’re not there…it’s…I…"

"It’s okay Hange, you can see Levi’s reflection, you can…" I find it hard to finish, Hange turning back to smile at Levi’s reflection.

"Hey…"

 _"They can’t hear me can they?"_ I shake my head, clinging to him a bit tighter when a flicker of pain crosses his pale face.

"No…" I whisper it in his ear. "…But I can, and they’ll hear anything you want them to hear, I’ll make sure of it."

 _"…Hey…"_ The fact they can see each other in the mirror is one of the most surreal developments as of yet, but I can see the happiness in both of their faces. The happiness of seeing a friend for the first time in years…

And the happiness of being _seen_ by a friend…

"He says 'hey'…" I pass on the message, so simple, yet the markings of a moment so…massive…

"I c-can see you…Levi, I can see you’re face, a-and… and I can see your stupid hair cut…" Levi scoffs and Hange starts crying, their words muffled, but they keep going. "…and your p-perfect suit and that…annoying expression which makes it r-really hard to tell what you’re thinking…" I hear Levi chuckle at that, but his hand reaches round for mine, clutching it tighter. Even though he holds that expression, I can tell that Levi isn’t finding this easy.

To be present but not there is one thing…it was a silent existence, but a simple one…

But to be seen and not heard…must be frustrating…

I watch as Hange lamely raises their hand, giving Levi a little wave. It was kind of adorable, and also kind of heart breaking. Levi spares no time in returning the wave, letting out an awkward laugh as he does.

_"This is so fucking stupid…"_

"It is not stupid!!" Hange frowns, pointing a stern finger at Levi’s reflection.

_"How the hell did you hear that!?"_

"Hange how did you--?"

"I could _see_ him say it! Wasn’t difficult, still got a right potty mouth too!!" I can’t hold back the laugh that comes out and I watch Levi lean forward, carefully pronouncing every word.

_"I. Missed. You. Shitty. Glasses."_

And I’m pretty sure Hange got that message all on their own too…

 

 


	11. Just A Taste

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg, it's been a whole month since I last updated and I am so sorry!!! Life and all that jazz - right? But anyway, really hope you guys like the new chapter!!  
> I didn't get around to replying to everybody's comments last chapter but I still want to say thank you!! to every single reader for your time and feedback!! It really means the world to me <333 
> 
> P.s - I finished writing and proof read this at about two in the morning, so I apologise for any mistakes ( I will go over it once more in the morning like a sensible person) XD

“Are they gonna be okay?” I glance away from the road to look at Levi, whose attention is already off in the far distance.

 _“We’ll see them later, probably best let it sink in for a while…”_ I look back at the road and grip the steering wheel a bit tighter. We left Hange back at the precinct after the whole ‘Oh my God, I can see my dead best friend’ thing. Both of us were rather reluctant to go but we had to get to Furlan’s Primary school out in the Colossal district before we missed his teacher. Jean rang ahead earlier in the morning to ensure the Principle was aware we were coming.

“It’s just… I bite my lip as I indicate into the down town high street. “…It’s a lot going on, you know. Part of me feels this…th-this relief that they know. Almost like this last confirmation I didn’t realise I needed to _know_ I wasn’t crazy.” I can hear Levi turn in his seat to look at me and I meet his eyes. One perfect thin eyebrow raised.

_“You telling me, part of you still thought I might be some elaborate figment of your chronically ill imagination?”_

“Oh, I’m sure you’ve been called worse Levi…”

_“Eren…”_

“Okay okay, look, it’s just rather discouraging when…when the whole world doesn’t see what I see. Doesn’t see you…! I know you’re there Levi and…and that’s enough, but…” It’s quiet for a moment whilst what I say floats around in the car between the two of us. “…sometimes I feel like I’m having some kind of affair and nobody’s allowed to know about you.”

 _“Affair?”_ I can tell without looking that the eyebrow is raised again.

“Y-you know what I mean…I didn’t, it’s not… will you shut up and let me finish?” I run my free hand through my hair and wait for a couple of kids to cross the road. “It’s the fact that… you mean so much to me Levi and I care about you but I can’t tell anyone about you.” I decide to risk a glance in his direction. “I meant what I said yesterday, I’m worried and scared and…Arrrhghg! I don’t know how much more I can take, you know!?” I take a deep breath and let it out in a sigh. I feel like a lot of our conversations lately have been in and out of the same circles. Constantly talking about what we need to do and avoiding the inevitable dead elephant in the room…

What’s gonna happen when we finish doing it…

 _“Eren…”_ I don’t take my eyes off the road but I feel a weight rest on my knee. I look down to see Levi’s hand, pale, slender and gentle on my leg. We finally reach the school and I park the car outside the entrance, nearly all the kids having been let out a while ago now _. “I’m glad we have Hange too, you have… you have no idea how happy I am to know I’m not just…”_ I look over to him and see a smirk spreading across his face. _“…some manifestation of your overactive imagination. And I’m also very happy you’re not crazy.”_ I let out a short laugh at that and gingerly cover Levi’s hand with my own. _“But first, we’re gonna fix this, we’re gonna help Isabelle and then we’ll figure out where to go from there…okay?”_  I look up at Levi and catch his eyes. I nod.

“Okay…okay, we’ll deal with this first and I’ll call Armin later…” I face the school again and take in the busted up fence by the lunch tables. “…we’ll get his help…”

 _“So how are you going to go about this?”_ I turn back to Levi and push that conversation to the back of my mind, willing myself to focus on the job at hand.

“Well, I’ll talk to Miss…” I have to quickly grab the print out Jean gave me from my bag. “…Miss Brzenska, and I want you to watch any reaction she might have to some of my questions. If you notice anything funny just…” I shrug. “…I don’t know, give me a poke or somethin’” Levi raises his eyebrows but nods his head in understanding.

 _“Okay, sounds like some semblance of a plan…”_ I don’t dignify his remark with a response and get out the car, walking around to let Levi out his side.

 

We head towards the entrance and let ourselves in. The whole building has that rough seventy’s architecture with grey concrete blocks and no character – and the inside didn’t fare any better. I walk up to the front desk and notice a very petite blond woman on the other side. She’s on the phone and glances up, catching my eye and smiling shyly.

 _“I’ve only known you for little over a week and I’ve seen more women look at you like that…”_ Levi gestures nonchalantly to the blushing woman in front of us. _“…than I can count.”_ I know I can’t say anything with her sat right there so I just settle for some stealthy side eye in Levi’s direction. He shrugs. _“I’m just saying, I imagine it comes in handy…”_ Levi turns around and leans against the desk, knowing he won’t have to engage in the incoming conversation. _“…looking like that.”_ I can’t resist raising my eyebrow in question, a small smile creeping onto my face.

“I’m sorry for making you wait.” The pretty woman puts the phone down before I can slip up with Levi and I let out a small sigh of relief. I take my badge out and lay it firmly on the desk.

“No worries at all…” I give her a smile. “…My name’s Detective Eren Jaeger and I’m here to talk to Miss Brzenska. My colleague did phone ahead…”

“No, yes! Mr Harrow will be out in a second to take you down the hall to Miss Brzenska’s classroom.”

“Thank you...” As if on cue, who I can only assume is the Principle of this school, speed walks around the corner – hand already outstretched for me to take before he even lets out a word.

“Detective Jaeger! It’s a pleasure, your partner called earlier and I’ve organised for you to have a private chat in Miss Brzenska’s classroom. If you’ll follow me?” The man, now red and flustered, gestures down the hallway and I follow onwards. The halls of the school are dim, the walls littered with what must be some of the student’s school project work.

I glance behind me and see Levi lagging at the back, his attention on the colourful displays of artwork.

“Just in here Mr Jaeger…” I jump at the Principle’s voice and spin around. We’re stood outside a small classroom with different coloured animal cut-outs aligning the door and then suddenly a short, pale haired woman with glasses.

“Hello... I’m Miss Brzenska, you must be the detective?” I take her offered hand and nod my head.

“Yes, my name’s Eren Jaeger…Miss Brz--”

“Please, call me Rico…”

“…Rico…Thank you for agreeing to talk to us-me… talk to me…” I smile again and see Levi walk forward to stand beside us, a small smile on his lips.

“You’re here to talk about Isabelle, my late student, right?” It was said in almost a rush, as if the woman had been hanging onto the question all day.

“Yes! Uh, yes if that’s alright…” Mr Harrow turns to leave, biding us a good day and a ‘nice to have met you’.  

Levi and I follow the teacher into her own classroom and she gestures to the tiny desks displayed conveniently in front of her own. I take a seat in the one to the left. It was far too small and I could only sit precariously on the edge of the seat in order to stop my legs from ramming into the underside. I look beside me whilst Rico closes the door to see Levi settle down into the desk beside mine.

It was like the desk was made for him…

“Awww, it’s almost as if they knew you were coming…” I whisper it and risk letting out a chuckle before the teacher gets back – admiring the glaring look sent my way.

 _“Careful Jaeger, or I’m coming back to haunt your ass…”_ I lean forwards and wiggle my eyebrows with a smile.

“Ohhh, sounds like fun…” I can see Levi hold in a chuckle, turning to me with a look of mock disgust.

 _“You really shouldn’t flirt whilst you’re on the clock Eren. It’s not very professional…”_ Before I can hit back, I’m pulled back to reality and my day job.

“So Mr Jaeger, what was it you wanted to discuss?”

“Yes, um…” Come on Eren, focus. “…I helped work on Isabelle’s case…”

“The hit and run?” Rico interrupts and I bite my tongue, resisting ‘no, I’m talking about the predicted eight years of child abuse’.

“Yes, the hit and run… you taught her, didn’t you?”

“I did, Isabelle was in my class during her third year…that was last year…”

“And you teach her brother now…?” There’s a small pause, as if the first school teacher was trying to figure out where I was going. She answered – hesitant.

“I do, yes…but I don’t see what Furlan has to do with what happened, in fact…” Rico leans forward, and that’s when I decide that she was kind of intimidating for a first school teacher. “…I don’t really understand why you are here detective. The case is closed and unrelated to Miss Magnolias school life. I don’t know what I could possibly divulge with you today that can help in any way.”

 _“She’s kinda intense for a first school teacher…”_ There goes Levi, reading my mind again _. “…but she doesn’t sound defensive…maybe you should just be honest…”_ My eyebrows raise involuntarily at Levi’s suggestion. _“…She sounds up front but you can tell she cares about her students. I think she’d help us.”_ I want to ask him why, want to converse with him before continuing this messy discussion.

Damn it, this is why you don’t have dead detective partners…well…

Amongst other things…

“Rico…” It felt weird being so formal with her. “…I came here to talk to you today about your past experiences with Isabelle and your opinion on her home life…” I decide to trust Levi’s instinct and be more honest than I was originally planning. I had this whole script ready about potential insurance fraud and suspicious behaviour during the case claims, but…heck let’s just do this.

“Why do you ask?” Miss Brzenska leans back, and I can see her swallow, face becoming harder to read.

“I have…” I think frantically about the best way to word it. “…recently come faced with recent information that may suggest the Magnolia’s were not the most… _attentive_ of parents.” Rico looks like she’s going to stay quiet, but then she leans forward, pushing her glasses up her nose.

“This isn’t strictly about the accident is it?” Well…

“No, no it’s…” I sigh. “…Having dealt with the Magnolia parents and then their children in this safe environment, I wanted to hear whether you had anything you might be able to tell me--”

“In regards to their…” Rico gives me a pointed and questioning look. “…home life?” I nod my head, fully prepared to back track and try again. “Furlan is a…very quiet young boy.” I bite my lip and wait for her to go on, relieved she was cooperating. I’m so getting shit for this if Erwin finds out. “…after his sister died, Furlan seemed to retreat even further. I always prided myself on being able to encourage my students to engage and feel like they can speak out…”

“What about Isabelle, did she ever show similar behaviour, in terms of timidness…?”

“No…not really, Isabelle was a lot more boisterous, loud… she could light up a whole room. Don’t get me wrong, it sometimes was a bit too much. She got in trouble occasionally, but she wasn’t afraid to express herself….and that’s where her and Furlan differed.” I nod my head again and run through everything she's saying.

“What about the parents, did you have a lot of interactions with them?” Rico nods her head slowly.

“They came in a few times, parent/teacher evening, bits like that…Mr Magnolia was far more distant than some parents, but I can’t say I ever saw anything from them which would give me any inclination to say something.” I lean back in my chair and let out a breath I didn’t realise I had been holding. I felt both relieved and disappointed…it was another dead end and I would have to find another way to help Isabelle… “However…” My shoulders perk up, equally apprehensive and hopeful as to what she might say.  “…that doesn’t mean I didn’t see other things which made me speak out.”

“You actually said something?”

 _“That would explain why Mr Principle was so nervous and flustered over your visit…”_ I momentarily forget about the situation, whipping around to Levi. I shake my head and turn my attention back to Rico – understanding where he was going.

“You said something before, but the school stopped it from going anywhere…” I let the assumption sit in the air between us, waiting for the teacher to go on.

“…Bruises…red marks, overtiredness, and suspiciously quiet morning registers... It didn’t take a world class teacher to understand what was going on.” She looks down, then back up at me and sighs. “I told higher ups, people I thought could take further action, but…” She shakes her head. “…it’s risky, for a school to make these kind of claims. If it turned out to not be true, it would cause hell for the school. The Magnolia’s could sue, it could just…get really messy. The school decided it wasn’t serious enough for the risk. It was just the foggy presumptions of a fourth grade teacher.” I lean forward on my own desk, looking Rico in the eye.

“You were right to speak out and, as Isabelle’s teacher, you were someone she could rely on.” I can see her starting to get upset. The strict stoicism she obviously reserved for class falling away.

“I-I was supposed to protect them and…” She takes a tissue out of her top draw and gently wipes underneath her glasses. “…I knew what was happening and I just let the school sweep it under the rug…”

‘Sometimes things need to be swept under the rug for the good of the bigger picture.’ I share another look with Levi, both of us fully aware of who it sounded like…

“Miss Brzenska, Rico, it’s not your fault… you clearly care about your students and you did everything that you could…” I glance over to Levi briefly, needing that familiar reassurance. He nods his head, face sombre from the conversation. I turn back to Rico. “…but I’m here today to ask you to do that little bit more…” She looks up, eyes red, but expression serious, ready for what I’m about to ask. “Miss Brzenska, I need you to file a new report, go over your superior’s heads, and tell someone what you have seen and what you suspect might be happening in the Magnolia household…and what could have happened in the past.” I emphasise each word with my finger against the desktop.

“I’ll do it…” She nods her head. “…I’m worried about Furlan and since his sister’s…well, I’ll…”

“Miss Brzenska--”

“I really appreciate your concern for those children. I can see this wasn’t part of the case. Too many people turn a blind eye at these things, you know. It can change a person, their outlook on the world, their behaviour and the way they treat others… Did you know Isabelle before the accident?” I’m taken slightly aback by the question. It wouldn’t really make sense if I had. “You just seem…” She shrugs one shoulder. “…you just seem to feel quite strongly about it all… I’m sorry, I don’t mean to pry…”

“No! No, it’s…it’s fine…” I run a hand through my hair and glance once again to Levi. “…I never knew Isabelle whilst she was alive, but…since working on this case it’s, uh… it’s become, kind of…” My voice goes quiet and I feel Levi’s hand rest gently on my left leg, mirroring the same gesture from earlier. It helps…

It always helps…

“No, I get it…” Rico smiles at me and leans forwards, adjusting her glasses. “…It’s hard not to start taking things like this to heart when the children are involved.” I smile back at her and stand up from the desk, more than pleased with the outcome of our somewhat unorthodox meeting. Rico follows suit and stands, correcting her skirt and outstretching her hand. “Thank you again detective.”

“No, thank…” I take her hand. “…thank _you_ , you have no idea how much this will help.” I catch Levi standing up beside me and walk away to wait by the door. “If you head down to the precinct, I want you to ask to talk to my colleague…” I grab a piece of paper and scribble down a name and contact. “…. Krista Lenz, she’ll help you give your statement.” She nods and takes the piece of paper.

We shake hands once more and I leave her classroom, feeling like we were really getting somewhere for the first time in days.

Everything’s gonna be okay Isabelle…

 

 _“So that went quite well…”_ I shrug against the window, both of us now back in the car outside the grey building.

“Depends on your perspective on the situation…” I stare out the window, my mind buzzing from the past half hour.

_“Yes, it wasn’t nice to hear our fears confirmed but it does mean that we have someone who can help stop it now… someone who can help Furlan and in turn help Isabelle move on… Eren?”_

“No, yeah, I know… I know you’re right.” I peel my eyes away from the outside and turn to Levi in the seat beside me. “Thank you…” It comes out quiet in the car, my eyes fixed on his.

 _“For what?”_ He looks mildly confused.

“Everything…for being here…” Levi’s lips lift precariously at the corners before he shakes his head.

 _“Don’t thank me kid, thank whatever mediocre reaper that fucked up my less than timely send off.”_ I chuckle at Levi’s attempt at lifting my mood and finally turn the keys in the ignition.

Isabelle’s mystery is coming to an end and soon she’ll be at peace. She’ll leave the cold plains of the living world and the bench outside the precinct will soon be just that… a bench.

It’ll be weird when she’s gone…

 

 

We drive back to the precinct. I need to ring Armin before the end of the day and inform Krista on the visitor she’ll be having. I park in the underground lot, slamming the door behind me, the noise echoing across the dark concrete. I walk around and let Levi out, his energy not enough to physically manipulate the car – just to exist within it…

Energy was confusing…

 _“So, you going to continue your streak of forward honesty today with your friend Armin or…we gonna pull some half decent cover story out our asses?”_ We head towards the lift and I make a noise between a mixture of reluctance and frustration.

“I don’t fucking know…I’ll probably just wing it and see where the conversation takes me in the moment…”

 _“How professional of you…”_ Levi mutters it under his breath, forcing me to bite back.

“Hey!” I spin around on my heels, pointing a finger into his chest. “I feel inclined to remind you that _this_ …” I gesture my arms out. “…is not my profession. My tax forms state ‘Shiganshina Precinct Detective’, not, ‘Mysterious Ghost Bullshitting’ – no matter how nice a ring to it it has.” Levi folds his arms across his chest and glares up at me.

 _“Ghost bullshitting…?”_ He shakes his head in mock sincerity. _“…is that all I am to you?”_ I take a step forward, trying hard to hide the smirk falling from my lips. I cup Levi’s face in my hands, letting my fingers spread across his pale, model worthy cheekbones.

I lean in a little closer and smile…

So close, I can see the different blue flecks in his irises… fucking beautiful…

“Yes, yes you are…” I somehow manage to say it straight faced, which cracks the moment Levi shoves against my chest.

 _“Asshole…”_ I cackle openly, completely enamoured by the faint blush covering Levi’s face. My laugh echoes through the underground building.

“Eren!?” My chuckle fades when I hear my name. I look down at Levi and the voice sends a shiver of surprise and anger down my spine.

I whip around to see Reiner standing about four cars down from us. He couldn’t have been standing there for long, his presence looming in the dim lights of the parking lot.

“Reiner? What…w-what the fuck are you doing here!?” He appears to completely bypass my question and takes a step forward – my whole body taking an involuntary step back.

“You have no idea how nice it is to hear you laugh…I…” He runs a hand through his blond hair and takes another step. “I just really needed to see you, you’ve been avoiding me…” I take another step back.

“Well yeah!!” My voice cracks slightly and I curse myself internally. What the fuck was he doing here?

“It’s just, you won’t answer my messages; your sister wouldn’t give me your new number. Eren, you were in a _coma_ , you’ve got to understand that I needed to know you were alright…” Another step forward.

Another step back…

“You need to leave Reiner…now…”

“Eren, please just… give me a little time…I miss you so much…”

“No! No, nope, nuh uh, not happening!!” Another step forward…

Another step back…

“Everything happened so fast. You said all those things but before we could work it out you were…y-you were gone to me Eren and I didn’t know what to do. I think if you just hear me out--”

“When I said all those _things_!? Reiner, I broke up with you! You need to stop bugging my family to get to me. They accepted that I did what I felt was right, but trust me, they don’t know the extent of why. They don’t know why I left you in the middle of the night or why I threw myself completely into my work afterwards…”

“I never meant to hurt you Eren…!”

“Fuck…f-fuck _you_ Reiner, and I never meant to end up in a _fucking_ coma, but you know what…?!” I gesture my arms out wide. “…sometimes shit just _fucking_ happens.”

“Eren…” Another step forward…

I hit a wall…

“Please leave Reiner, you can’t be here. Just move on and leave my family alone…” For a moment he looks like he might take another step, but he stops himself.

“I can’t just move on Eren when I know it was my fault…”

“It wasn’t your fault Reiner…” I try to make my voice come out gentle, but it just sounds small to my ears. “…It was my fault…” That wasn’t strictly true. Yeah, it was me driving that night, I was being reckless, and I wasn’t acting myself.

But _that_ was Reiner’s fault…

Because when someone treats you like that, it’s easier to throw yourself into something else than deal with it…something like your work, or in my case…

A delivery van and across twenty-five metres of side-walk…

“I just think--”

“Reiner!! Just go!!” I want to take another step back but know I can’t. I watch Reiner fight the urge to push me, but he finally backs off. As soon as he takes the first few steps in the opposite direction I feel my shoulders relax. He doesn’t say anything else and I don’t offer any parting words.

I wait until I can’t see his retreating form any longer before releasing the breath I was holding, then I remember Levi beside me.

“Shit, I’m so sorry…!” I rest my head against the wall behind me and cover my face with my hands. It was too much.

 _“Eren…”_ I feel Levi gingerly pull my hands away and I glance down at him. He rests his hand on the side of my face, copying the movement I made only moments ago. I can feel his fingers, cold but not in an uncomfortable way, rest against my flustered cheeks. My heartrate was finally calming down, my mind now focused entirely on Levi.

“I’m sorry…” My voice was so quiet.

 _“Eren, you don’t have to apologise…”_ His other hand comes up and he uses his position to angle my face down towards his. _“…I just want to make sure you’re okay.”_ I nod my head slowly and lower it to rest my forehead against his. I close my eyes, feeling my body coming back down from the shot of adrenaline the confrontation with Reiner gave me. It was easy to forget with Levi.

To forget the entire life I had before the accident, and the problems I left behind…

Everything was just easier…

“I’m okay…” I meant it. “I just…need a minute.” I raise my head and open my eyes, staring into Levi’s.

 _“Sounds like there was a lot more to that break up than most understand…?”_ I nod my head lightly, absently biting my bottom lip.

“It’s complicated…” Levi looks up, one side of his lips raised in a small smile.

 _“Isn’t fucking everything…?”_ I return Levi’s smile at his too true sentiment. I pull my eyes away from his lips and back to his eyes. _“But that’s what makes it so interesting…”_ And I let out a chuckle.

Interesting is one way of putting it…

 

We head up to the 104 Department and I head for my desk. Most are empty now and the room holds a still feeling. Jean’s desk is already empty, but he has a habit of leaving early on a Monday. I settle into my chair and watch Levi stand beside it, waiting for me to get this conversation started.

“Right…” I take out my phone and press firmly on Armin’s name. I look up at Levi. “…half-truths?”

 _“I think you should trust your friend, Eren. But only say what you feel comfortable with.”_ I nod, listening to the phone ring on the other end. What if Armin doesn’t answer?

What if he can’t help us?

What if he _won’t_ help us?

**“Eren! Hey!”**

“Armin…hey…” I feel like I’m suddenly thrown into the conversation and I have to stop myself from lobbing the phone to the other end of the office.

**“How are doing? I heard you managed to get home alright, your sister told us…I’m sorry if something I said made you--”**

“Armin, no, no it’s… I’m fine now, really, a-and it wasn’t anything you said, trust me. If anything, your words meant a lot in the moment – they really helped.”

**“Oh…well, I’m really relieved about that to be honest.”**

“…”

**“Eren?”**

“Yeah, um, I was actually calling about something else…I kind of needed your help with something?”

 **“Sure, of course. Anything!”** Anything? **“What do you need?”**

“It’s um…” I look up at Levi. “I need some information, on a case…”

**“Um…okay? I don’t really know what I could offer you that you can’t get yourself? You’re higher up in the department than I am in terms of authorisation.”**

“Well, it’s…fuck…Armin…” I lower my voice, overly aware of my surroundings. “…I need the forensic department case file on a job from five years ago…”

**“…Why do you need the forensic file, the precinct will have more thorough files for what you might need…”**

“Yeah, well, that’s the thing… I don’t think it does, at least, not…accurate ones…” I shrug, even though I know Armin can’t see it.

 **“…Okay…well, five years is quite a while in terms of cases Eren, I’ll have a look, but…”** I can tell Armin’s becoming suspicious of my request, his words coming out slower and more fragmented.

“Please Armin, it’s really… _really_ important…” I let some of my inner desperation slip into my tone.

 **“…”** There was silence on the other end…

“Armin _please_ …” My voice lowers even more.

 **“…Eren, you haven’t gotten yourself into some kind of trouble have you?”** Naturally that’s where Armin’s mind goes. Part of me is slightly insulted and normally I’d jump in with the defence – but the other part of my brain makes a ‘eh, can you blame him’ noise. I sigh down the phone.

“It’s… it’s really complicated Armin…”

 **“Right, of course it is…Eren if you’re having a problem, I’d really rather you told me what it _is,_ so I can help you more. I’m your friend Eren, you can tell me anything…”** My heart jumps a little, knowing full well Armin meant every word he was saying. And I believed it – he would help me no matter how I was in trouble.

But this is all just a little too much…

To ask for that kind of understanding…

‘Hey, yeah, so, I can see ghosts now and I have a dead friend who needs my help in proving that the Shiganshina Police Department is corrupt and went out of their way to cover up his death and the details that ultimately were divulged from the case…’

Yeah, I don’t think so…

**“Eren?”**

“Yeah, sorry…I’m not in trouble Armin, I just…” 

‘…sometimes you need to stop and see that there are people who want to help you...’

Armin’s own words echo through my head from last night – God, this has been a long fucking day…

“…If you could get me this file Armin, I promise I’ll tell you what’s going on, but I’d rather do it in person…okay?”

 **“…”** There’s more silence on the other end and I clutch my phone tighter. **“Okay, I want to help you Eren, but you’ve got to trust me on this. Don’t start taking on more and more on your own.”**

“Okay…I trust you Armin…” I smile, knowing that I was lucky to have the friends I did. Armin asks for the case file name and location so I pass it on, letting Levi’s name fall from my lips. It felt weird, to actually talk about him in some way to somebody else. I know Mikasa has already picked up on it, but I never said his name myself.

It was official, he was real…

He had been alive, and now Armin was going to help figure out what happened to change that…

“Thank you, Armin… you have no idea how much this means to me…”

 **“It’s no problem Eren, you just have to remember that your friends are always here to help – no matter how crazy you start acting.”** I ignore the last jab and let out a light chuckle in relief. **“I’ll have to wait to look for the file tomorrow but I’ll be as quick as I can.”**

“Okay, no that’s fine. Once you do get it, you’ll have to come over and, um…and we’ll talk, yeah?”

**“Definitely… I’ll be in touch soon Eren…”**

“Thanks again Armin…” I hang up the phone and take and deep breath, letting it out in a sigh as I twizzle the chair around.

 _“So…? What? Your gonna tell him everything?”_ I look up at Levi and angle my head to the side.

“I…honestly don’t know, but…it’s starting to feel right, you know?” I scrunch my face up, suddenly doubting every decision I just made.

_“I think if it’s what you want, then it’s a good idea…”_

“Really?!” Levi shrugs. “We’ll see what Armin comes out with, then we’ll see where it goes from there. It’s probably best to have Hange there when he comes over, even if it’s just to go over the forensic perspective of the case.” Levi nods his head in agreement and I yawn.

I’m so tired…

“Let’s get out of here…” I stand abruptly from the chair and stack all the files on my desk. “I’m bloody knackered and…” I whip around to Levi, smiling. “…I need my beauty sleep.”

 

We leave the precinct and walk back to the apartment. The air was cooler and crisp, helping to clear my head from the fog the day had created. I look across the road and see the bench empty. Isabelle’s energy has been getting weaker and weaker over the past few days so it’s a good job we were able to get somewhere with her case today. I didn’t know what would happen if we were too late, if she was too far gone. I don’t even know how that happens. Could she become so encompassed into the living world she was stuck here forever?

But then surly the same would apply for Levi… and he’s been stuck here much longer than Isabelle.

I’m sure it’ll be fine…

We make it to the apartment door and I slide my key in. It’s quiet down the hallway, most people home from work and having dinner with their families. Mikasa’s working a night shift tonight so she’s probably already left, having grabbed dinner on her way.

When I open the door I’m immediately hit with the glowing lights of the kitchen. My first thought is ‘oh, Mikasa left the lights on…’ then I notice my sister sat at the counter, her uniform on, keys in hand, and a very serious expression on her face.

That lead to my second thought…

‘Oh shit, what have I done?’

“Mikasa, what, uh, what are you doing here? I thought you were working a night shift tonight?” I put on my best innocent expression, trying to think about anything I might have done to piss her off over the past twenty-four hours.

Well, you know, besides the obvious…

 _“I think you’re in for a good grilling Eren…”_ I pinch my eyebrows together, resisting the urge to glare at Levi beside me. I slowly close the door behind us and take a step further into the room.

“Well, I was about to go, but I wanted to wait for you…” She stands up from the counter but stays on the other side. “…there was something I wanted to talk to you about.”

“Okaaaay…?” I let the word out long and slow – my question already embedded in there.

“Eren…” My sister says it with a sigh and pinches the bridge of her nose. “…I understand that you have been going through a lot of stress lately and… sometimes people turn to certain things and habits which might alleviate that stress…”

“W-what the hell are you talking about Mika?”

“I’m saying…” My sister abruptly takes something out of her pocket and firmly places it on the counter between us. “…I want you to explain why I found these in your bedroom this morning?” She says it evenly, but I can see the cracks hidden beneath which I needed to avoid breaking. I frown in confusion, then look down to see the pack of cigarettes Hange brought over last week.

The pack I hid in my room for later on, to see if Levi could learn to interact with them…

Shit…

“What were you doing in my room?” Okay, _so_ not the right thing to focus on right now Eren…

“Eren! Really…!?” Mikasa lifts her hands in exasperation and slaps them back down against her legs. “I was in there to get your washing, you’d been huddled up in there all weekend, I thought it might need airing out a bit!” I close my eyes for a second, cursing myself for being a lousy brother. “Eren, I just--”

“I’m sorry, okay! Look… I didn’t mean to, no, there… th-there not mine, okay?” Mikasa raises her eyebrows, immediately not buying it. “I was just holding them…for, um… for a friend…” Literally - I hear Levi holding in a laugh beside me and I take a deep breath.

“Really, you expect me to fall for that Eren? Look, you might have gotten away with pulling this kind of stuff when we were younger, but I won’t just sit by and let you--”

“Mikasa, it’s the truth I swear! They’re not mine, I haven’t smoked anything since college…” I raise a hand to my heart and hold up my other hand in the appropriate sign. “…scouts honour!” My sister looks torn, almost like she wants to believe me but can’t ignore the evidence.

I mean, it’s all circumstantial – it means nothing…

I would know, I’m a detective…

“Well, if they’re not _yours_ , then whose are they?” I rack my brain around for a good cover – whose?

“Just…” I openly struggle with my answer – completely blowing my cover. You’d think I’d be better at thinking on my toes in my line of work, but nope. Shit liar, remember.“…just a friend’s, Mikasa…” My sister looks tired, then as if she’s unsure about what she wants to say next.

“Are they Levi’s?” My eyebrows shoot up and I can only imagine what my face must look like. I have to wait a few seconds for my brain to catch up and then figure out what the fuck I was gonna say.

“Uuuuugh, um, uh…” Nailed it…

 _“What the fuck Eren, your sister knows I exist!?”_ I lift my arm to calm Levi.

“Kind of…”

“Kind of…?” I turn back to my sister.

“No, well…” Okay, I can work with this. “Yeah, actually they are…”

_“When the hell were you gonna tell me, Eren? Who else knows, you been sending out fucking emails or something?”_

“No, it’s complicated!”

“Is it!?” I wasn’t talking to you Mika!

_“Yeah, Eren, we’ve already established that…”_

“Will you just shut up for a minute!?” I whisper it harshly, but obviously that doesn’t help when my sister stood three feet in front of me across the counter.

“Excuse me?”

“No, it’s…” I scrunch my eyes up and run both hands through my hair. I take a moment to turn in the opposite direction, take a deep breath, then back into the conversation. “Look…” I look my sister in the eye and make sure she can see my sincerity. “…I’m sorry, okay. I’ve been a real pain in the ass lately, I know that.” Mikasa stays quiet – a silent agreement and nudge to press on. “Yes, they are Levi’s, my _friend_ who I merely mentioned in a _delirious state_ of distress at the hospital… _”_ I stress that point to make sure Levi’s listening. “…I didn’t mean to make you worry, Mika…again.” My sister appears to think my excuse over in her head, expression giving away nothing.

“Okay, I believe you Eren.” My shoulders instantly relax and I lean against the counter. “I’m sorry I jumped to any conclusions, I just worry, you know…” She gestures to her uniform. “…being a nurse and all.” She smiles gingerly and I return it.

“You don’t need to apologise Mika…” She finally settles up from the counter and picks up her bag by her side.

“Well, since that’s all cleared up, I really do need to get to the hospital.” Before walking off she seems to reconsider, stopping to pick up the box of cigarettes in between her fingers. She shakes the box gently and gives me a stern look. “You tell your… _friend_ … that these will kill him, if he’s not careful…” And with that, she places the box down and heads for the front door.

“I’ll, uh…I’ll be sure to tell him that!” I see my sister smile before walking out the door and leaving the apartment. I take another deep breath and turn to look at Levi, his face holding in a smirk. “Oh yeah, I bet that was all _really_ amusing for you…” I walk up to the counter and pick up the box my sister miraculously left behind. “…It’s your fault I got in trouble…”

 _“Oh come on, I didn’t bring those into your apartment, technically it’s Hange’s fault you got in trouble.”_ I spin around and lean back against the surface top, shaking the box between my fingers, just as my sister did.

“Well Hange wouldn’t have, if they didn’t wanna _feed_ your dirty, _dirty_ habit…” I watch Levi’s mouth finally curve up into a smirk and my eyes travel down to his lips.

 _“It’s not like I can actually smoke them…”_ He shrugs one shoulder. _“…so don’t you think I’ve been punished enough already?”_ I let out a chuckle and take a step forward, my attention back on his eyes.

“I suppose you’re right, you really have suffered enough…” I walk over to the corner of the kitchen and make to throw the box in the bin.

 _“Wait…wait, I mean…”_ I grin and take a step back, looking over my shoulder at Levi. _“…Don’t waste them.”_ I shake my head and walk away from the bin.

“I’m not gonna smoke them, so what’s the point – it’s bound to be too much for your body to deal with…” I stop again in front of Levi and see a thought cross his mind.  “…What?”

_“What? I didn’t say anything!”_

“No, but you had that look on your face…”

_“What look!?”_

“You know, that look…”

_“I don’t have a look!”_

“Sure you do, you have lots of looks…”

 _“Shut up…”_ I shove the cigarettes into my back pocket and cross my arms. We stand in silence for a moment before I decide I needed to clear something else up.

“I’m sorry, by the way, for not telling you about my sister. She doesn’t really know about you, it was…” I awkwardly scratch the back of my head.

 _“…a delirious state of distress?”_ Levi raises his eyebrows and smiles at my uncomfortableness.

“Oh come on! I woke up in a hospital and you weren’t there, I was worried!” Well now I just sounded overly defensive. Levi takes a step forward.

_“It’s fine Eren, I wasn’t actually mad.”_

“So why’d you yell at me!?”

 _“Because it was creating a difficult situation, and it was funny…”_ I gape at him indignantly, shaking my head.

“You’re still the same twisted ghost I met in that evidence room, you know that…?” Levi openly laughs at me and takes another step forward, my back pressed firmly against the counter. 

_“You love it really…”_

“Eh…” It was my turn to laugh and I could feel Levi’s body press against mine with another step. “…I tolerate it.” I rest my hand on Levi’s chest and angle my head down to look into his eyes. My mind captivated by the grin on his face.

 _“You tolerate it, but as soon as I’m not there, my name is falling from your lips…”_ Levi’s voice has gotten quieter, his hand pushed into my own chest, grasping my shirt. His other arm circles around my waist, fingers playing against the skin above my pants.

“In my defence…” I lean a little closer, our noses inches apart. “…I was suffering from severe exhaustion…”  I look down once more at his lips when my mind is distracted by a sudden pressure on my ass, and then suddenly there’s too much space between us. I look up to see Levi still clutching the front of my shirt, now stood a good foot away with the cigarettes in his free hand.

The bastard…

 _“I just want one Eren…”_ He has the audacity to give me an innocent expression, biting his bottom lip.

“You _seduced_ me…” I try to say it seriously, but fail miserably, causing Levi to chuckle. “…I feel so… so _used_ …”

 _“Sorry, Eren…”_ Levi takes a step forward again, closing the larger distance between us. _“…I just need a taste.”_ I shake my head.

“I don’t know Levi, you heard what my sister said…it’s a terrible habit…”

 _“Well, I appreciate your sister’s concern, but really, I think we both know that ship has sailed…”_ Levi holds the box up and rattles it lightly.

“If you say so, but…” I frown slightly. “… in all seriousness, I don’t think you’ll be able to, even with this new energy. You don’t actually have any… breath… how are you supposed to smoke?” Levi looks down for a moment then looks up, closing the last bit of distance between our chests once again.

 _“Well, then you can smoke it… for me…”_ I raise my eyebrow in confusion.

“What good will that do?” Levi sighs and runs his tongue across his bottom lip, his next words coming out slow.

 _“You smoke it, and I…”_ He gives me a knowing look, urging me to catch on. _“…just want a taste, Eren.”_ Levi’s hand finds my cheek and we’re so close I know I would have felt his breath – if he’d had any.

“Oh…” Oh...!

 _“So?”_ I try hard to keep my own breathing even, my heartrate picking up at every touch.

“Just one?” The question comes out in a single breath. I feel Levi nod against my forehead.

 _“Just one taste, Eren, that’s all I need…”_ Fuuuuuck…

“I don’t know, I wouldn’t wanna…” I take a second to close my eyes and keep my body under control. “…feed a filthy habit like that.” Levi smirks and angles his head again to look into my eyes.

 _“Oh, I think you do Eren…”_ I close my eyes again and knew for a fact…

I really fucking do…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr - in case you wanna chat about the fic or have any questions about updates - jovialjellyfishreaper


	12. For The Best

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry ONCE again for the massive delay - I blame summer and my inevitable inactivity due to slightly warmer than average weather...
> 
> Thanks again to everyone for reading and the lovely comments! Really hope you enjoy the new chapter!! It was supposed to go a bit further on in the story but then I got distracted by dialogue and angst that just sprung out of nowhere and I was like 'eh, I'll go with it...' 
> 
> But anyway.. <3333 And remember, it's a slow burn for a reason - soz for the tease XD <3333

(Levi POV)

 By this point I honestly didn’t really care about the nicotine, I just wanted Eren. I wanted to feel everything I couldn’t without him there, I wanted to feel alive again…

At least, that’s what would have happened…

“HEEYYY!! GUYS OPEN UP!!” Both Eren and I jump back from each other, the loud banging on the door jarring us out of the moment.

Fucking Hange…

“COME OOOON!” More banging ensues. I risk a glance up at Eren who looks just as deflated by the situation as I felt. I haven’t removed my hands from his body, my right hand still tangled in his hair. I sigh.

 _“Maybe they’ll give up and leave…”_ I whisper it and Eren lets out an exasperated laugh, closing his eyes, no doubt trying to get his own body under control.

“We can’t just leave them, it’s been a…” Eren sighs this time and finally removes his hand that had been resting gently against the curve of my jaw. The sudden lack of heat is like a slap in the face and I try hard to push the feeling to the back of my mind. “…it’s been a long day for all of us, they’re going through this just as much as we are.” I knew Eren was right, Hange had to deal with the shock of seeing her dead best friend this morning. The fact they’re here now probably means that they needed to be. I nod my head.

 _“Okay…”_ I let go of Eren and take a reluctant step back.

“GUUUUYS!! I KNOW YOU’RE IN THERE EREN, I SAW YOUR SISTER DOWN STAIRS!!” More banging on the door. “SHE TOLD ME YOU WERE HERE!!” Hange didn’t sound in a panic or anything, just loud as usual. Eren runs a hand through his hair and looks over to the front door.

“Yeah Hange we can hear you!! Just a second!!” There’s a moment of silence between the two of us. Eren looks torn for a moment until his eyes fall back onto mine. “Maybe…” His voice is quiet again, the greens of his eyes swimming in an emotion I’ve been too disassociated to name. “…maybe it’s for the best…” Eren doesn’t look overly convinced by his own words but I nod anyway.

Maybe it was…

…for the best…

Eren walks around me towards the front door and I stay where I am, staring in the other direction. I throw my head back for a second and take a deep breath, clenching my fists. This was so fucking stupid. I pause for a minute and look down at my hand, the cigarette box crumpling in my grip -but that doesn’t make any sense, without Eren I haven’t been able to interact with anything. The box should have dropped to the floor as soon as he left…

But I can still feel it, as solid as ever…

I can hear Eren open the front door and Hange’s voice starts to fill the previously quiet space. I don’t hear what they’re saying, my eyes glued to the box in my hand.

What the fuck is happening to me?

I don’t think before I lob the cigarettes across the room, hearing them hit the back wall and slide down, then under the couch. I take another deep breath and finally turn around to see the other two staring at me.

“Levi?” Eren’s face is a mixture of confusion and…something else – fuck! Why am I so shit at reading him all of a sudden!?

“What’s going on?” Hange looks back to Eren. “Did I interrupt something?” Eren brushes the question off, his eyes not leaving me. I can feel them, so I look down, my stomach sinking.

“No, it’s…nothing Hange…”

“You sure? You look very tired Eren, make sure you‘re still resting properly. Don’t want a repeat of Saturday.” I look up at Hange’s comment and take in Eren’s face. He did look tired, no, more _drained_ than before… I look down at my hand again then over to the couch where the box of cigarettes had slid underneath.

Yeah, maybe it’s for the best…

 

(Eren POV)

I turn back to Hange and give them a smile, best to just move on from everything else. I watch Levi walk over to us from the corner of my eye and jump when Hange thrusts a plastic carrier bag in my face.

“Well! Since that’s all cleared up, I wanted to discuss something with you…well, with you both…” Hange gestures awkwardly to me then to the rest of the general area of the room – clearly not overly sure as to where Levi was now. “I’ve been thinking-…” They walk further into the apartment and drop the bag onto the coffee table.

 _“Eh oh, that can’t be good…”_ Levi’s tone is flat, dripping with sarcasm, but still distant enough to be out of character. Hange continues oblivious.

“…-since I saw you guys earlier, about the new development in Levi’s energy behaviour and what this could mean.” I glance a look in Levi’s direction and see his shoulders stiffen at what Hange says. My eyes then travel to the other end of the room where something landed moments ago.

Levi wasn’t holding the cigarettes anymore…

“So…what do you mean Hange, you think you’ve figured why Levi’s body’s been reacting differently?” I decide to distract myself by encouraging Hange to go on. They smile then gesture to the table. I take the cue and take a seat on the opposite side, pushing the chair out beside me as a gesture for Levi to join me. His mind was elsewhere, and I could tell that what had just happened had bothered him. My stomach spun and I can still feel the warmth in my fingers from where I held the curve of his jawline.

I wanted to kiss him…

But that would be like taking a bite of something you wanted more than anything, only to have it ripped away before you could take a second taste.

It’ll be easier if I take _no_ bites at all…

Levi takes a seat in the chair beside me and I give Hange the go ahead. They immediately start unpacking some things from their bag and I grab Levi’s hand under the table. I really didn’t want what had just happened to create a new distance between us.

Even if I couldn’t have him the way I wanted, I won’t let him go just yet…

My fingers slip in between Levi’s and I squeeze his hand to tell him that I was still here and I didn’t want him to pull away – not again. I feel a light squeeze back and it settles a tension in my shoulders I hadn’t even noticed was there.

“Right, so!” Hange takes an old rustic ornament out of the carrier bag and I let a confused expression settle across my face.

“Hange, w-what are you doing?” I glance at Levi and we share a silent look that makes my skin heat up across my neck.

Levi wouldn’t pull away from me now…

“I just wanted to test something!” Hange takes the ornament and settles it on the table. They then gingerly angle it around and that’s when I notice it was a mirror. Some kind of portable make up mirror?

“What do you mean?” Hange settles the mirror at an angle just so that it reflects Levi and I, but also allows Hange to still peer into it from the corner.

“I can see you!!!” Levi and I lean forward at the same time and look into the small reflective glass. Hange claps their hands together frantically. “I knew it, it works with any reflective device, just like in the gentlemen’s toilet’s.” Levi angles his head to the side whilst staring at his reflection. It was a gesture you might see from a curious toddler or a confused kitten. It made his front bangs fall just over his face and was probably one of the most adorable things I had ever seen. A smile falls onto my face before I can stop it.

 _“What are you smiling at?”_ Levi sees my face in the same reflection and sits back, now glaring in my direction.

“Nothing…” The glare doesn’t disappear, but it doesn’t hold any malice either. “So, you can still see him?” I turn my attention back to Hange.

“YES! I can, it’s truly fascinating. It is the manifestation of the energy that’s left in Levi’s life force, reflected in such a way that makes it visible to the human eye. Imagine it like a telescope – everything in a reflective telescope is reflected and flipped. In this case, the mirror represents the telescope and is reflecting and flipping the energy particles in such a way that they become recognisable.” All of the words Hange just said make sense, but almost too much sense…

Like it was too simple…

“You hear that Levi…” I adjust myself in my seat so that I can lean my elbow against the table and face the grumpy spirit. “…you’re like a celestial ghost object…a deep space apparition if you will?” I smile at him and catch a hint of a smirk at the corner of his lips. I turn back to Hange and see them just staring awestruck into the mirror at an awkward angle from their side of the table. It was like watching a child who had been told they could stay up and watch that grown up movie for the first time, simultaneously amazed and slightly concerned they may be ever so slightly in over their head.

 _“What are you looking at shitty glasses?”_ Levi directs the question into the mirror and Hange just smiles.

“So…” They look up then and glance between the two of us. “…are you two connected at all this very moment?” I’m slightly confused by what Hange means for a second but before I can ask them to clarify Levi lifts our hands up from below the table – our fingers still entwined with each other’s. “Fascinating, yes! That would explain why the pictures so clear. Could we see what happens if you’re apart?” I don’t really see why not so I begin to release Levi’s hand, but this just makes him hold on tighter – his fingers clutching mine as if his life depended in it.

Which was kind of ironic…

I look up at Levi’s face, but he won’t look at me, his grip staying firm. I don’t ask why or try to encourage other wise, I just tighten my grip back, watching Levi’s shoulders relax ever so slightly when I do.

“Maybe later Hange…what- uh…you said earlier that you’d been thinking about the energy and how it might be working?” That sparked a new light in Hange’s eyes and I lower our hands beneath the table once more.

“Behold!” Hange makes a grand gesture when removing something else from the plastic bag and turns a massive grin on us, revealing a large lollipop. I get the overwhelming sense that I’m supposed to understand what’s going on but I'm way too tired for this.

 _“I think they’ve finally lost it…”_ Levi shakes his head slowly, glancing in my direction.  _“We broke them…”_ He shrugs his shoulder as if he just found out it was raining outside. I smile, then raise an eyebrow at Hange.

“It’s a…lollipop, Hange?” They launch themselves slightly further across the table, the lollipop suspended in front of my face.

“Yes, and no…! It’s a metaphor, Eren!” Their smile doesn’t even begin to fade due to my blank expression.

“No, I’m, uh…I’m pretty sure it’s a lollipop…” Hange finally lets out an exasperated sigh and sits back in their chair.

“No, Eren, it’s a symbol for my analogy.” They hand me the candy and I take it gingerly in my free hand – scepticism still splayed across my face. “I’ve been thinking about why _your_ body.” Hange points at me, a twinkle in their eye, and they shoot forward again across the table. Elbows on the table top, their head resting on top of their folded hands. “Think about it, of everybody’s energy that Levi’s come into contact with, why was yours the one he took from – assuming that that theory is accurate.” Hange waves their hand about nonchalantly.

“Oh-kay…” I let the word stretch out, giving me time to catch up with where they were going. “You think that…what – Levi’s ‘life force’ _chose_ my body to take from?” I look down at our joined hands, words like fate and destiny going through my head.

That was stupid…

“Well, not exactly…I actually believe it may be the other way around…” Hange gestures to the lollipop I had begun to subconsciously twirl in-between my fingers. “Take this candy for example. I believe the behaviour of your energy is similar to the situation of ‘taking candy from a baby’. We’re talking about ionization energy in a way – now – if a baby really wants the candy, it will hold on tight and it will take someone else a lot of energy to take it away.” Hange goes to take the lollipop from my hand but I hold it out of their reach. “Exactly! It would take me much more effort to get it from you in this state.”

“What does this mean in terms of our energy though?” I feel Levi adjust our hands beneath the table to rest on top of my thigh.

 _“So… if I had wanted to take energy from anyone else before, it would have taken me far too much energy to accomplish it due everybody being too damn subconsciously possessive of their own energy…”_ I look at Levi and he just gives me a ‘seems simple enough to me’ look.

“Well, way to make me look like the dumb one.” This cuts Hange off from explaining it themselves and I spot them watching our argument in the tiny mirror. Levi raises his free hand and gestures out towards my lollipop.

_“They obviously picked this analogy for a reason Eren, it paints a pretty clear picture – don’t get so defensive!”_

“I’m not getting defensive!” This pulls an unimpressed eyebrow raise from Levi.

 _“It’s fine Eren, you are the baby in this analogy after all…”_ This earns him a glare.

“Fine!” I knock the lollipop across the table. “Finish the analogy Hange…” They smile at the lollipop and continue as asked.

“So yes, this would suggest most people are far too difficult to take energy from usually, but…” Hange slowly begins to slide the lollipop towards themself. “Alternatively, if the baby…” Hange gestures up at me with a wicked grin. “…doesn’t want the candy that much, it won’t take much energy for someone to take it away.” Hange suddenly grabs the lollipop from my hand and twirls it between their own fingers. There’s a moment of silence after the analogy is supposedly finished and I try wrap my head around what they’re trying to say.

“So, you’re saying that…I didn’t really want the candy…?”

_“You know we’re not actually talking about the candy Eren…?”_

“Shut up Levi, yes I know!” He gets another glare and I see him smirk down at the table. “Energy! You’re saying that I – what, that I didn’t want my energy?” My question actually puts a sombre expression on Hange’s face and I can feel Levi’s grip tighten briefly in mine.

“Well, in this case Eren, you are the atom and your energy is being passed between you both. The situation and outcome of the analogy suggests you have almost like a… uh, low ionization energy – meaning it’s _easy_ to take them away. Now this isn’t strictly accurate since we’re obviously dealing with a different form of energy and… I don’t want you to feel like this is a bad thing Eren, it’s just difficult to explain it in such a way that doesn’t make it sound negative.” I nod my head slowly, not really fully comprehending what this means.

 _“So you’re suggesting Eren didn’t really want his energy?”_ Levi doesn’t look happy when he says it, a light coldness in his eyes. Hange looks over at me, clearly assuming Levi was saying something based on my attention completely in his direction.

“What…wait – what did he say?” Hange leans forward, almost as if that would help them hear Levi speak. I look down for a moment, my stomach sinking on the subtext.

“Why wouldn’t I want my energy?” My voice is quiet and I don’t look up from the worn table’s surface.

“That’s not exactly what I’m saying, it may be more of a subconscious thing, I mean it _would_ be!” Hange seems to take a few second to think about what they want to say. “It’s just…you were maybe more susceptible in your current state to give away your energy. Your recent accident and somewhat…unbalanced head space…” I look up at Hange’s choice of words and feel my jaw clench.

“You what, think I subconsciously wanted to give away the thing that was keeping me going! That I wanted to just…just, not exist…!?” I run a hand through my hair, willing myself to calm down.

“No Eren, I just think maybe…maybe we could think of it more of your body reaching out rather than giving away?” I look into Hange’s eyes then and see their sincerity – they just wanted to help me understand.

“Okay…”

“Okay…? You’re strong Eren, you’re so strong. I would never suggest you would just give up or anything like that – I just believe that you’ve been in a rather vulnerable space and…” Hange looks over to Levi’s ‘empty’ chair then back to me. “…and I think that Levi couldn’t have come along at a more opportune time for you. The whole seeing ghosts thing aside, it’s more than that.” I take a deep breath and give Hange a smile.

It made sense, to some degree, what they were saying, and was better than any other vague explanation I could seek out.

 _“Okay…since we have that theory down to a ‘T’, do we know about how it’s affecting Eren?”_ Levi looks over at Hange and I silently wish they could hear him.

“What about the effect it had on me, you reckon what happened a few days ago was a result of me…giving this energy away?” Hange makes a face like they’ve just remembered something.

“Ah, well, that’s the other thing I was thinking about.” They route around in the plastic bag and take out a diet coke.

“Oh God, no more analogies Hange…” I pinch the bridge of my nose. I’m so ready for bed.

“No, this is just for me.” Hange opens the bottle, taking a big sip before turning their attention back to us. “Right, so, think about it this way, when we use our energy actively at the same time every day, that signals to our bodies and spirits to produce more energy. However, if we use our energy passively, watching tv, sitting on a computer, being still at the same time every day, _that_ signals to our bodies and spirits to _conserve_ energy.” I let out an involuntary sigh, uhhhghghugsh it’s too late for this.

“…What?”

“Think of it like breastmilk…”

“NO more analogies!!”  
_“NO more analogies!!”_

Levi and I let out the pained reminder at the same time and I take Hange’s bottle of coke, letting myself have a generous swig – God I needed some caffeine.

“Okay, okay…well, what I’m basically saying is: before you met Levi, you produced a regular, if not slightly lesser, amount of energy on a daily basis to get you through. You had previously just come out of a coma and so your activity levels were lower than most, so your body wasn’t producing a massive amount. Jump forward to you…” Hange gingerly gestures to me once more, taking their bottle back in the process. “…giving Levi some of this energy – which was already in low supply – and so your body began to feel the effects quite drastically. You were tired and became over exhausted.”

“But that doesn’t explain the change in the behaviour…”

“No, but think about it. After everything you guys went through, your attachment and your relationship changed…” Levi and I share a look between us, Hange blissfully unaware as they went on. “…your body became more aware of the energy it wanted to give out in order for you to sustain your relationship with Levi. Sustaining this became a level of activity on your body on a daily basis and so your body has responded accordingly by producing more energy to split between the two of you.”

_“This pseudoscience bullshit is doing my head in…”_

“Do you see what I’m saying Eren? You have started to, almost consciously by this point, produce enough energy for the two of you.”

“That still doesn’t explain why Levi’s changed…”

“Not specifically, but remember Eren, this is all just some flimsy theory based on ninth grade science. I think that perhaps by you producing more energy it has purely given Levi a bit more of a home in this world.” I nod my head again.

“Yeah, I…guess that makes sense.”

“But we’ll have to be cautious, going by this theory we need to watch how much you _do_ give. Just because your body produces more energy doesn’t mean you can’t give too much still. We’ll need to keep track of Levi’s body’s behaviour – we don’t want anything happening to you, as much as we love Levi, we have to be aware in what it’s doing to _your_ body.” I feel the grip on my hand become weaker until Levi finally pulls away. I go to grab it again, but he folds his arms across his chest, avoiding looking in my direction.

“They’re just saying we need to be careful Levi, don’t do this again.” My eyes bore into the side of Levi’s head and Hange goes quiet, obviously understanding his reaction.

 _“We need to be careful Eren…”_ Levi’s voice is quiet when he finally speaks, still not looking in my direction. _“…we can’t risk…”_ He sighs. _“…getting too close.”_

“So what, you just gonna take off again…!?” I mentally chastise myself for getting angry but Levi’s words send a wave of panic through my body – and it was easier to replace that panic with anger.

“Eren…” Hange leans forward, desperate to cool the situation but I stand up from the chair, running my hands through my hair once again.

“No, it’s fine, God forbid something might happen to me, being in such an imbalanced head space and all!”

“Eren, you know that’s not--” I take Levi’s badge out from my back pocket and slam it down onto the table, my whole body working on semi-autopilot by this point.

“I guess you should stay out here since, you know, we shouldn’t get too close.” I walk away from the table before I can think about it anymore and head for my room, slamming my door behind me.

‘You need to watch that temper Eren, one day you’ll do something you can’t take back…’ My sister’s words of warning twist around in my head…

Maybe it was for the best…

 

(Levi POV)

I don’t say anything as Eren gets up and leaves. Looking at my badge sitting in the middle of the table fills my body with a cold empty feeling.

“I’m sorry Levi, I, uh…” Hange gingerly reaches forward and picks up the badge from the table and runs their thumb over the golden plate. Their eyes filled with an awe like fascination. “…I didn’t want to cause any of this, I just thought it was best to consider what is really in effect here.” Silence stretches out between us. I wanted to tell them that they shouldn’t be sorry, that if anything we were thankful – I was thankful. To have them here and to know that even five years after I was gone, I still had someone like Hange who cared so much.

I sure as hell never acknowledged that whilst I was alive.

But I can’t say anything…

Because they won’t hear me…

“I guess this is the most quality time we’ve spent together in a few years, huh?” Hange lets out a chuckle but it just sounds forced. “Even though, you know, the conversations pretty one sided and I can’t…” They wave their hand around in my direction. “…actually see you, it’s still nice.” Part of me is worried Hange will start crying or something, beacuse I don’t think I could deal with that right now.

I needed to talk to Eren…

“Eren will be fine, he just needs some rest, I’m sure. He’s been through so much, he hasn’t really stopped.” They smile in my direction and I let myself return it with my own strained one – even though it was a pointless gesture.

I don’t think I’d ever felt so on my own. Even though I’ve spend months alone, years even, it was different. I was barely existing, but these past few weeks have given me a taste of what I’d left behind – and then with Eren… Sat here now in the silence, unable to physically talk to my best friend whose sat directly in front of me.

What even was the point…?

I was afraid of what could happen to Eren. I was afraid of what would happen when we discovered more than we should, of what will happen to me…and then what will happen after I’m gone…

“Well…I guess I should probably go…” I felt bad, Hange just came to help us and they were forced to let themselves out – I couldn’t even say good bye. I look down at my hands, now clenched on my lap, thinking back to the cigarettes under the couch. I stand up from my chair whilst Hange packs their things away.

My body was already starting to change again and that scared me too. I wanted more than anything to talk to them about it, ask what it could mean, ask if I was taking too much from Eren. I walk around the table until I’m stood behind them. I reach over and adjust the mirror, it was a gamble, but I was going off a hunch. My fingers clasp around the metal ornate stand and I turn it around so that Hange could see my reflection over their right shoulder.

My body was becoming more independent again…

“Levi?” Hange jumps slightly when the mirror moves but smiles at my reflection non-the-less. Even I must admit, if it had happened with anyone else stood behind them, I imagine it would have been a rather terrifying occurrence. “H-how did you do that?” They turn in their seat to look up me, totally missing the point of me moving the mirror. I roll my eyes. “Your body’s changed again, you threw something earlier didn’t you?” Hange’s eyes light up for a second in typical Hange fashion before a frown replaces the initial excitement. “You’re worried about the change in energy again…I understand…” They look down then back up into the mirror. “It may be that the new deposits of energy have just balanced out a bit more?” I watch my reflection shrug in the mirror and give Hange a sad smile.

 _“Thank you…”_ I try to pronounce the words clearly and Hange smiles up at me once again.

“You don’t have to thank me Levi, I do it all because I love you…” Hange stands up, holding their arms open and I take step back. “Air hug!” They don’t make any attempt to physically embrace me, because it would be futile.

I wish I could hug them…

I take a step forward and watch Hange lower their arms, letting out a small chuckle.

“Not that you ever let me hug you before, but…” They smile again. “I like to think these are some extenuating circumstances. I’ll just pretend we had a loving and much needed embrace.” They wink at me and turn to pick up the mirror along with the plastic carrier bag. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow, okay?”

Hange starts to head towards the door and I clench my hands into fists, frustrated by everything.

 _“Wait!”_ My voice sounds loud in the silent apartment, but Hange doesn’t hear anything, continuing for the front door. I frantically run my hands through my raven hair and run over to the phone. Eren’s sister always kept a pen and paper next to it on the side table for jotting down messages. I pick up the pen in my hand and pause for only a second by the ease of which I do, and jot down a message on one of the small slips of paper. _“Wait…”_ I turn around just in time to see the front door close behind them.

I approach the door and place my hand against the surface. I could go after them but I can’t risk going too far from my badge…or Eren. I slide down until I’m sat on the floor, by back up against the door. I look down at the frantically written message in my right hand…

Thank you  
See you tomorrow  
X

It was stupid, but it would have meant the world to them. I crumple the piece of paper up in my hand and lob it over to the kitchen waste bin. It misses, and I watch it fall onto the linoleum floor. I feel so tired – which didn’t really make sense in itself. I lift my knees up and wrap my arms around my legs, resting my chin on top.

It was so quiet…

I peer up over towards the table and see the light from the window reflect off of my badge that Hange had placed back on the edge. Part of me felt like it was mocking me… So much control, yet nothing…

You can do this, and now you can’t…

You can have this, but they can’t have you…

I think back to what Hange explained to us this evening, how Eren had been reaching out. Whether that was true, I don’t know, but surely if Eren had been reaching out then I had equally reached out back. I took what Eren offered me because he was alone, and so was I, but once I took what I’d needed, I started to pull away.

If I was Eren, I’d be feeling pretty used around about now…

I finally stand up and my legs have gone stiff, my body feeling more real than ever, but as a result I felt every wave of tension and stress that had built up over the past twenty-four hours. I walk over to the table and look down at my anchor. I pick it up, which takes me back to yesterday, and the lengths Eren went to find me again. How we manage to go from one extreme to the other. How we can go from teasing in the kitchen one moment to storming away from each other the next. I imagine it has something to do with the both of us being as hot headed and as stubborn as each other. I run my thumb over the precinct’s insignia…

I didn’t want to pull away any more…

 

 (Eren POV)

I’m woken up by the birds that perch on the apartment building’s edge, their chirping filling up the still city atmosphere. My head is foggy for a few minutes, my body having passed out as soon as I hit the mattress. The night before comes back in snapshots.

I let my fucking temper lead the way…again…

I lay on my back and take a deep breath, running my hands up through my hair – probably sending it in all directions imaginable. I close my eyes and try focus on what had happened.

I fucked up…

I start to get out of bed when I feel a warm, solid body pushed up against my side. I turn my head to see Levi seemingly sound asleep beside me? His eyes are closed, jacket and shoes removed. I adjust myself so that I can watch his chest rise and fall with every pseudo breath he takes. Something digs into my bare shoulder and I fish out the object now jammed into my side.

It was Levi’s badge…

Did Hange throw it in here? No. Hange wasn’t the best with boundaries but I can’t see them doing that. It must have been Levi… I look up at him again and see his steel grey eyes staring back at me. I keep hold of the badge in my hand and rest it on my chest, my neck angled to the side, not taking my eyes off of his for a second.

“Sorry…” It was the first word I wanted out of my mouth, I didn’t want to keep doing this. Levi just shakes his head briefly.

 _“You don’t have any reason to apologise Eren…”_ Levi looks away for a moment then back at me. _“It’s been a lot to take in, and I…”_ He seems to give up on what he wants to say so I try change the subject, making sure he doesn’t feel put on the spot.

“Did Hange leave okay…I feel bad for leaving them…” I do, and the lump in my throat grows thinking back to the way I treated them after everything they did to try and help.

 _“Yeah…”_ Levi looks sad for a second and I think about asking if something happened after I left – but then think better of it. _“…they weren’t mad or anything Eren, Hange understands, probably better than anyone.”_

“Yeah…”

 _“I’m sorry…again, I…”_ I quickly cut him off, refusing to let him apologise for anything.

“No- Levi…just…” I sigh again and turn to lay completely on my side, facing him. “…don’t…” I can tell that he wants to keep going, his jaw clenched from keeping it in. I reach out and run the back of my fingers along his jawline, the sharp edge leading all the way up until my fingers run through his hair. My voice comes out quiet. “I don’t wanna keep doing this…” Levi nods in response and I start to pull away, but Levi grabs my wrist and I look up into his eyes, and I see a vulnerability…

A vulnerability I’d never seen before…

I pull Levi against me the next second and feel him rest his head into the crook of my neck, my arms circled around him. We lay there for a while and I can feel Levi circle one arm around to my back, his other hand resting on my chest.

Fuck not getting too close…

I rest my chin on the top of Levi’s head and lift up the badge still in my hand…

“Did you bring this in here?” I feel Levi nod his head against my chest. “So you can touch things again…on your own?” …nothing… “That explains how you lobbed those cigarettes across my apartment last night…” I say it this time with a hint of tease, I wanted to let Levi know that I wasn’t angry, or scared… I just wanted him to talk to me. “…Also explains why you freaked out after what Hange said…”

 _“I was hardly the one who freaked out…”_ Levi’s words come out muffled against my skin but it was nice to hear him sounding more like himself again.

“Yeah, well…” I pull away slightly and reach for my phone on the side table. “Now what? I really don’t wanna go into work…”

_“Don’t you need to see if the intense primary school teacher shows up?”_

“Eh…” I shrug and struggle to unlock my phone with my non-dominant hand. “I can wait to hear from Krista I guess.” I open it up and notice a missed call from Hange. “Oh…Hange tried to call this morning…I still feel bad after last night…”

 _“Don’t Eren…”_ Levi rests his hand back against my chest and then slides it down to settle on my stomach. The touch sends flames over my skin and I settle back slightly so my face is level with his. _“…They weren’t mad, and you were tired…frustrated, you had every right to be…”_ Hearing Levi say it lessens the weight on my shoulders and I lean forward to rest my forehead against his own, our noses brushing for a moment. My arm that’s now trapped under Levi’s body still clutches the phone whilst I raise my free hand to run once again through his charcoal hair. My voice is so quiet in the space between us when I finally know how to respond.

“We have some really fucked up lives Levi…” It comes out in a sigh and I can feel Levi chuckle beside me.

_“You can say that again, Eren.”_

“…like…really fucked up…” I smile, and my eyes trace every corner of Levi’s perfect face.

‘…maybe it’s for the best…’ My own words go around my head from yesterday.

Is it though…?

“When did it get so complicated?”

_“Probably around the time I died under suspicious circumstances and you fell into a coma only to wake up with crazy Whoopie Goldberg powers…”_

“I already told you I’m not being Whoopie…”

_“Well your hair isn’t nearly as on point enough for Demi…”_

“Hey, my morning hair’s adorable and you know it.” Levi smiles at me then and every complicated scenario that led us to this point seems more than worth it. I knew that I’d fall into that coma all over again if it meant I’d meet Levi.

 _“I really want to kiss you Eren…”_ My heart jumps at Levi’s words, they were spoken on a whisper, but with such sincerity.

“…I know…” And I did, but we were supposed to be being cautious. I mean, what was gonna happen, he accidently sucks out my entire life energy like a frickin’ banshee. Can’t see that happening…although it would be pretty cool…

I’m pulled out of my weird train of thought by my phone vibrating in my right hand. It makes us both jump and our eyes dart away from each other – we were officially pulled out of the moment. I switch the phone to my free hand and hold it up.

“It’s Hange…”

 _“I swear they never use to be this much of a cock-blocker when I was alive.”_ I let out a laugh, unable to resist with Levi’s deadpan but serious tone.

“Hey Hange…”

**“Eren! Oh thank God, I hope I didn’t wake you!”**

“No Hange its fine…hey, I um…I’m really sorr-“

 **“Psshhht, don’t worry about it Eren, there’s no need to apologise. You were tired and it was a lot to take in. We all still love you, even though we do need to work on that temper of yours…”** I can practically see Hange wave their free hand out nonchalantly.

“Thanks Hange.”

 **“Did you and Levi make up after I left?”** Their voice takes on a hint of seriousness, the protective friend of Levi’s slipping through.

“Yeah, Hange, we’re um…” I angle my head to the side and catch Levi already staring at me, probably listening to the conversation since Hange talks so bloody loud. “…we’re alright…”

**“Good! See, I told him it’d be fine, he didn’t need to worry his cute little head about it…”**

_“’Little head’… better not be a short joke…”_

**“I actually wanted to call to tell you that I’ve organised it so you can have a sick leave day today, I think it would be good for you to rest a bit. There’s an official doctor’s note sitting on Erwin’s desk – I’m sure he’ll understand. I’ll pop into the department later and check to see if Krista is around and get the scoop on that…”** I can hear a shuffle of some papers in the background and I assume Hange must already be at work. **“…let me know if you hear from Armin, okay?”**

“Yeah, of course! Thanks, Hange…I- _we_ …couldn’t do this without you…”

 **“Aww, shucks! That is true…”** Hange cackles down the phone. **“I’ll see you boys later…”**

 _“Later Hange…!”_ Levi turns to lay on his back and raises his voice to the room as if it made a difference to Hange on the other end.

“Yeah we’ll see – …”

**“Eren…?”**

“Uhh…Yeah? Hange, what…” My name was said so quietly, the tone dropping to a level of seriousness so suddenly I didn’t really know what to think.

**“Tell him to say it again…”**

“What?” I frown and turn to Levi, whose eyes have gone very still. Oh… “Say it again...” Levi looks over at me but stays silent. “Say it again, Levi…” I hold the phone out and put it on speaker phone. I watch Levi’s jaw clench slightly before he sits up slowly, his shirt riding up as he rests his hands by his sides.

 _“…Later Hange…”_ He says it almost warily this time. I sit up too, the silence dragging on the other end of the phone. Levi’s dead still.

**“…”**

“Hange…?” I say it quietly, careful not to tread on the moment.

 **“Say…p-please say it again…”** I can hear the tears in their voice and I sit up a bit straighter – they can hear Levi through the phone. Levi leans forward a few inches until he’s directly in front of the phone resting in my palm.

 _“…Hey shitty glasses…”_ Hange’s choked sob comes through and I can feel my own eyes become watery.

“That’s not what you said before…” I smile at Levi and when his eyes find mine, there’s so much emotion in that one look. He shrugs.

_“I didn’t want to say goodbye again…”_

**“It’s really you, you guys a-aren’t dickin’ around w-with me?”** Levi lets out a chuckle in a single exhale.

_“That would be kinda fucked up Hange…”_

“ **Yeah** …” The word comes out strained.

“So…” I try to collect my own thoughts. “…phone lines huh? Who knew.” Levi gives me a look and I shrug back. “What?”

 **“I suppose it, uh…”** Hange pauses for a second to blow their nose. **“…it makes s-sense, the um – the line scrambles signals, reorganises them in a sense so…”** They pause again to catch their breath.

“Maybe you’re a bit too emotional for science right now, Hange?”

 **“N-never too emotional for science Eren, don’t be ridiculous…!”** All three of us laugh and all of the shit from last night seems like a lifetime ago. I decide to take Hange off of speaker phone, handing it to Levi. They have a lot to catch up on and it wasn’t my place to get in the middle of that. When I pass Levi the phone he still looks slightly taken aback.

It was weird to see him so _not_ composed…

I head off to take a shower and spare one last glance at Levi sitting crossed legged in the centre of my bed. His free hand running through his hair and a genuine smile on his face.

And I can hear Hange’s enthusiastic voice all the way from over here…

 

-The same day -later that afternoon-

“We could bake a cake?”

 _“Great, we’ll bake a cake and then I’ll sit and watch you eat it…”_ I roll my head to the side and catch Levi’s eyes.

“Fine, point taken. What do _you_ wanna do?” We managed to rest most of the day and I could tell my body really had needed it, but now we were starting to scrape the bottom of the barrel for ideas. We were both antsy and apprehensive for what was to come and distracting ourselves was proving to be harder than we’d anticipated.

We were trying to be ‘cautious’, which didn’t help certain aspects of the frustration…

We had to be fairly inactive to avoid any weird looks from my sister, who watched me like a hawk before she went back off to work – although she seemed rather pleased when I told her that I was taking a ‘me’ day.

Levi had stayed on the phone to Hange for a good hour after I got out the shower this morning whilst I went through various files from work. Then we killed a bit more time by re-watching ‘Ghost’ which then lead to another forty-five minutes killed from arguing as to who would suck at which roll. In which I insisted I’d have the creative skills to pull off the pottery scene, which then lead to me searching for a ceramic bowl I made in eight grade as proof…

Levi said it looked like a cereal bowl and a 70’s jumper had a love child…

In which I got angry…

Now it’s broken and sat on the kitchen side…

That was about two hours ago, and now we were laying down on the front room floor between the TV and the coffee table. Our bodies out in opposite directions but our heads level together.

 _“You got a stack of cards?”_ I sit up slightly and rest my body up on my elbow.

“Why, what you thinking…snap?” I smile down at Levi and his eyes send a thoroughly unimpressed look my way.

 _“Poker?”_ Levi sits up and mirrors my own position.

“Okay…we going to make it interesting?” I didn’t mean to make it sound suggestive but I can tell Levi’s mind went _there_ as soon as mine did, going off the journey his eyes make down my body. “Mind out of the gutter Patrick Swayze.”

We’re being cautious…

_“Single dollar chips…”_

“And what are _you_ gonna put in, that astral plain money ain’t gonna fly at Starbucks man.” Levi shrugs and moves to a sitting position so that he’s above me. “Fine…I’ll go find the damn cards!”

-Thirty minutes later-

“This is bullshit, you practically live in a poker face!” Levi finishes stacking his newly won chips and I throw my hand up in the air.

_“Don’t be a sore looser Eren.”_

“Sore looser, dude, you’ve seen nothing, wait ‘til you play monopoly with me.” Levi looks up at me then and I see a faint look of disgust cross his face.

_“You’re a board flipper aren’t you?”_

“Hey…” I lean back on my hands and let out a smug smile. “…You love me at my best, you gotta love me at my worst…” Levi doesn’t humour me with a response, but I can see the edges of his lips lift slowly, and they were my favourite smiles…

The ones he thinks I don’t notice…

I’m suddenly jolted back to the game when my phone vibrates loudly on the table in front of me. I take a look and see a string of messages from Hange and one from… Armin…I look at Hange’s first.

“Hange says that Miss Brzenska has been to the precinct and Krista walked her through a statement…looks like it could go well…” I look up and smile, finally some good news.

 _“That’s good…”_ Levi’s short statement would sound disinterested to anyone else, but I can tell he’s happy about it. I scroll through the rest of Hange’s messages and they start to go off on a tangent after a while, as per usual, so I take a look at Armin’s – my heart beating faster than before.

“He’s found it…” Levi looks up at my change of tone and I quickly clarify. “Armin, he’s uh…he’s found your case file, says it seems legit…” He looks back down at his chips, restacking them again systematically. “He’s gonna come over later this afternoon to talk...I better tell Hange.” I quickly inform Hange in on the plan, I’ll need them there for emotional support.

Now we just had to wait for Armin to get off work…

I look up at Levi and I can tell that knowing about the existence of the file makes everything feel more real, to him and me both. Armin hopefully had answers…

Answers that’ll inevitably lead to more questions…

Which will then lead to some kind of conclusion… It’s for the best…

“So…” I sit back up, picking my cards up off the floor. “One more round?”

 

 Hange shows up shortly after six and I can’t sit still – Armin should be here soon. I pace around the dining table whilst Hange and Levi watch me with concerned expressions.

 _“Would you sit down Eren, you’re making me nervous?”_ I stop mid pace to glance at Levi.

“Sorry…” I stop in front of the couch and lean back, taking a deep breath.

“Perhaps we should think about something else…” Hange plonks their plastic carrier bag on the table, removing the same ornate mirror from yesterday. “Wait, do you know what happened to the lollipop from last night?”

_“Eren ate it-…”_

“I ate it-…”

_“Whilst we watched ‘Ghost’-…”_

“Whilst we watched a movie.”

“Awww man, I was hoping it would still be around.”

“Well, I was the analogy’s baby, it was only fair they I got the candy!” Levi gives me ‘that’ look again and I immediately jump on the defensive. “What?!”

 _“I really hope you regain a bit more tact by the time your friend gets here.”_ I only have time to glare at Levi in response before there’s a knock at the door. I jump back from the sofa and compose myself quickly before swinging the door open to reveal my best friend.

“Hey Armin…!” I can tell my blond bobbed friend picks up on my nervousness as soon as he steps into the apartment.

“Hey Eren…” He smiles at me then glances to the dining table. “Oh…Hey Hange!” Armin seems to accept their presence here and smiles.

“Hey Armin!!”

 _“Hi Armin…”_ Levi waves at my friend but the greeting doesn’t really hold any enthusiasm. Armin takes off his coat and I take it to hang up.

“So… how you been?” Armin sees right through my small talk, dropping a thick file down onto the dining table surface. There’s a silence across the room. I walk over to it and sit down in the chair beside Levi, opposite Armin, who now looms above me. I gingerly reach out for the file but I’m stopped by Armin’s firm hold against it. I look up at him.

“I know this is what you want Eren, but first… you need to tell me who this Levi is to you…?”

And then my stomach sinks…

Because my friend’s gonna think I’m crazy…

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr (incase you have any questions on the fic or updates) - jovialjellyfishreaper


	13. If Only It Were That Simple...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to rewrite some parts a few times on this chapter because I really wanted Armin's reaction to be realistic but also fitting...it was hard - But I hope you enjoy the new chapter!!  
> Thank you so much to every one who leaves comments and kudos - I was over the moon when the fic reached 300!!<3333  
> Happy reading!

(Eren POV) 

“Do I believe in…what?” Armin sits back in his chair, opposite mine, and a frown settles across his blond brow.

“You know, like…the supernatural?” I wave my hand nonchalantly out in front of me, using it to desperately hide my nerves and I hear Levi snicker beside me.

“You mean like, ghosts?” Armin doesn’t sound convinced, but we’ve only just started so I try not to let it discourage me.

“Yeah…like ghost!” I lean forward in my chair, the same time Hange adjusts their glasses with a big smile. “Casper? Beetlejuice? The Flying Dutchman, Slimer, Dr Malcolm Crowe…?” Armin continues to look at me with a closed off, slightly concerned expression, so I fervently continue my list. “…Big Boo? Moaning Myrtle…? Binky, Pinky, Inky and Clyde?”

 _“I don’t think listing fictional apparition types is working Eren.”_ I send a quick glare in Levi’s direction before giving Armin a desperate expression.

“Yeah, Eren, I know what ghosts are…” Armin holds up a hand but his frown doesn’t go away. “I just don’t understand what this has to do…” Armin points down at the manila envelope in front of us. “…with this?”

“I’m getting there Armin, I’m just…building up to it…” I take a deep breath and watch Hange stand from their chair out the corner of my eye, their plastic carrier bag in hand. I turn my attention back to Armin and focus. “Well?”

“Well…?”

“ _Do_ you believe in them, Armin?” My best friend sputters for a second and shakes his head.

“I mean, from a scientific standpoint, no, Eren, I don’t.”

“O-kaaaay…well, what about from a ‘magic is just science we don’t understand yet’ standpoint?” I raise my eyebrows and stretch my arms out in front of me.

“I suppose…” Armin seems to consider my question, finally accepting that I wasn’t letting this go. “I’m a man of logic, Eren. If I see something with my eyes, then I’ll believe it.” I nod my head slowly.

“Uhuh, uhuh, seems fair…” I stop talking just as Hange puts a heavy-set glass down in front of me, and then another in front of Armin. I cautiously pick the glass up – I mean it was from Hange after all – and sniff it.

Alcohol?

“I thought you might need it…” They give me a wink then turn to Armin who scrutinises the content. “…especially you, trust me Ar.” Hange whacks a friendly hand onto Armin’s back before picking up a glass of their own.

“Oh, uh…thanks…” Armin smiles but appears still slightly on edge. “Actually, is it alright if I grab a glass of water as well?”

“Sure!” I gesture towards the kitchen area and watch Armin get up from his chair. Hange takes the opportunity to ‘look’ across the table at Levi and lowers their voice – well, as much as Hange can.

“You don’t get one…”

 _“Well I didn’t want one anyway, Four eyes!?”_ Levi’s voice comes out snippy. I roll my eyes at them and lower my own voice so Armin can’t hear.

“Would you two stop it, this is hard enough as it is…and don’t call them that!?”

“What’d he call me!?” Hange looks at me, then back to the empty ‘chair’. “Huh?! Dwarfy!?”

 _“Dwarfy? What the fuck, that supposed to be some half-assed short joke?”_ Hange leans forward abruptly, oblivious of Levi’s response, and smacks the portable mirror down onto the hard wooden surface in front of him.

“…Why don’t you say it to my face, hmm, Kili!?”

“Guuuuys…” The word comes out exasperated on my end, but they keep going.

_“Kili? We doing lame ass Hobbit references now, and jokes on you, Four eyes, he’s the hot one anyway so fuck you and your fucking short jokes!”_

“What did he say Eren?!!!” Hange scowls at Levi’s chair again. “And that was a short joke by the way, in case you missed it!”

 _“Jesus, Hange, I’m dead not fucking stupid!”_ Levi looks over at me then, completely caught up in their ridiculous double – one-sided argument _. “Would you tell them I’m not stupid!”_ Before I can reply I catch movement in front of me and smile at Armin as he settles back down. I give both Hange and Levi a sharp glare to shut them up and pick up my drink.

Yeah, I did need this…

“Is everything alright?” Armin looks slightly wary when he looks at Hange, who had- not so surprisingly- raised their voice too much by the end of the argument.

“Yeah, its fine!” I brush Armin’s concern off quickly and try to get back on track. “So, ghosts…what would you say if I told you they were real?” I wait expectantly for the reply. Armin glances over to Hange then, almost as if expecting them to jump in and be like ‘we’re working him through some things’, but Hange stays silent – thankfully.

“I, uh…suppose I’d ask w-why you… think this, Eren?” Another glance at Hange.

“Would you stop looking at my therapist!” My anger rises up like a familiar flame and I push it down, knowing I was just frustrated with the situation.

“Sorry, Eren, it’s just…” Armin shrugs and gives me that look – pity – and concern.

Yeah, I had been trying to avoid that…

“I know this probably sounds weird Armin, and I don’t blame you, I really don’t…but you need to hear me out.”

“Eren - …”

“I CAN SEE GHOSTS, ARMIN!!!” I blurt it out because I was sick of beating around the bush.

There’s an awful silence that follows…

 _“Remember that thing we talked about, tact? – yeah? – well you fucked that up…”_ I can practically hear Levi roll his eyes at me and I close my own to stop myself from doing anything else prematurely. I open them up and see Armin sat in silence, his face holding an unreadable expression.

“You…w-what do you mean, you can…” He lets out a humourless chuckle, looking around as if waiting for the cameras to come out. “…you can see ghosts?” Armin looks to Hange again and they give him a sympathetic smile.

“I know it’s a lot to take in Armin…” My friend holds up a hand, stopping Hange mid-sentence.

“You’ve been encouraging this!?” A slither of anger comes from Armin before anyone can jump in.

“Armin!” He looks at me and I take a deep breath, letting it out in a sigh and running a hand through my hair. “Armin, Hange’s just been helping me out – don’t get mad. It’s all a lot to take in, like they said, and I don’t blame you for not believing me but this is what you asked for.”

“What I asked for? Eren, I just wanted to know who this ‘Levi’ guy was that I put my ass on the line for earlier.” Armin lifts the envelope from the table and waves it around before letting it fall back down. “Do you know how much shit I’d get into if my boss found out I took this?!”

“Armin…” It was Hange again, they put a gentle hand on Armin’s shoulder, willing them to calm down.

Oh God, I can’t do this…

“I’m trying to explain that to you Armin…”

“No, you’re not, you’re…Eren I’m worried about you, you’ve been through so much lately and I think that…that maybe it’s all got a bit too much…” I run my hands frantically down my face and let out a sound of frustration.

“Why don’t we…?” Hange leaves their sentence hanging in the air so I look up and catch them holding out the mirror sheepishly.

 _“Maybe we should hold off on the props for now, you know…”_ Levi looks over to me. _“…teach him how to walk before we teach him to dance Irene Cara’s ‘What a feeling’…we don’t want to scare him off too quick?”_ I can’t help but let out a small chuckle at Levi’s oddly specific analogy and I shake my head at Hange, a silent ‘not yet’…Levi was right. I glance up at Armin once more and see that same look on his face.

I needed a minute to figure out what I was doing…

I stand abruptly from my seat, letting my hand run through my hair yet again. I recall giving some non-descript excuse and I leave the table, head for the bathroom and slam the door closed behind me. My breathing was faster than normal and I can feel the onslaught of panic rising in my chest. If Armin won’t listen to me then how the hell was I supposed to get through this. I lean my back against the door and take a deep breath.

 _“Eren?”_ I jump at the sound of my name and spin around, opening the door to pull Levi inside before slamming it once again. “ _What the hell, Eren!?”_

“I can’t do this Levi, it’s going horribly!”

_“It’s not going that bad - …”_

“Oh come on, he thinks I’m fucking crazy!”

 _“Well, maybe at the moment, but you know what probably doesn’t help? Running off mid-conversation to shout at yourself in the bathroom…!”_ I stop arguing for a moment and think about what Levi was saying – I had started to raise my voice, so I take another deep breath before he continues. _“Eren…”_ His voice was softer now and he takes a step forward _. “…You’ve gotta give the kid some credit, he’s still here isn’t he, he’s listening, yes, okay, he isn’t quite jumping on the paranormal bandwagon, but personally, in my opinion, that reflects very healthily on your friend.”_ I dip my head to the side, Levi had a point there.

“Okay, but…what if he doesn’t believe me Levi? What if I can’t convince him?”

_“Then we’ll just have to make him believe, I’m sure there’s plenty we can show him – in time…”_

“Right, well, then… what if we shove it all in his face, make him believe in the supernatural and then he thinks _he’s_ gone crazy!? I don’t wanna do that to him Levi, I don’t wanna push his little melon head over the edge…”

 _“Would you calm down, Eren…”_ Levi takes another step forward and rests his hands on my shoulders. _“That’s not going to be a problem, trust me, your friend out there has got far more marbles than the rest of us put together by this point.”_ I try to interrupt him but he continues. _“He said so himself, he’s a man of logic, if we show Armin something he can’t deny then he will have to believe us. Plus, he’s your friend Eren, I can tell he’s just here to help you…”_ I nod my head and rest it briefly against Levi’s.

“You’re right…” My heartbeat has calmed down and I can breathe easier again.

 _“Of course I’m right…”_ I smirk at Levi’s deadpan smugness _. “And think about it Eren, how did you feel when you first started to see ghosts, started to realise that all of this was real?”_

“Well…” I look off to the side, then back, making sure to make pointed eye contact with him. “…I’d just woken up from a coma and kind of thought I’d gone _insane_!” My voice raises slightly to a whisper shout and Levi makes a face that says ‘okay, maybe not the best example’.

 _“Look, we’ll just go out there and we’ll have to start with a slightly different approach - to the point, but not quite so ‘I’m Bruce Willis and I can see dead people’…okay?”_ I sigh again.

“…You’re making a lot of pop-culture references today.”

_“Eren…!”_

“Okay…Okay!”

 

 Round two…

“Okay…so, let’s start from the beginning…” Once I’m sat down in my seat again, Armin holds up his hand, an apologetic look on his face.

It made me wonder what Hange had said to him whilst I was freaking out in the bathroom…

“Eren, I’m sorry I started to get…frustrated, I just…” He seems to struggle with what he wants to say – a feeling I am becoming far too familiar with. “I’ll let you talk, Eren, but you need to be honest and answer my questions.” I send a glance at Hange when Armin finishes, hoping to get across my gratitude for whatever they said whilst we were gone.

“Uh, of course! Yeah…anything you wanna know Ar.” Armin nods, it would seem we’ve come to some new understanding.

“Eren, before we continue, and I ask some more questions…” He gently places his hand on top of the case file envelope, never taking his eyes off mine. “I’ve read what’s inside here, and going off what you’ve already… _revealed_ to me, first you need to tell me…”

“You wanna know who Levi is?” Armin nods and I shrug. “Well, he, uh…”

“Did you know him, did you ever meet this man, Eren?” I frown slightly at Armin’s question, the past tense creating a knot in my stomach.

“Yes…I met him…” I keep my tone flat, and I can tell Armin’s really trying to hear me out this time.

“When?” He sounded slightly confused, but I shrug nonchalantly.

“Um, ‘bout a week ago…?”

“A wee - …Eren, h-how could you have possibly…?” He stops abruptly and sends a look Hange’s way, then swiftly takes a sip of his drink (not the water) – composure back in place. “So…you met Levi a week ago - …”

“ -ish …”

“Yeah, -ish…okay…” Armin takes a deep breath before continuing. “…and you’ve been, helping him?” I nod, choosing to let my friend lead the conversation. “Have you seen him since?” I can’t help but let my eyes shift to Levi beside me.

 _“Don’t look at me, answer his question…”_ Levi raises his eyebrows and his tone turns purposefully condescending. _“…You’re doing very well, Eren.”_  

Stupid ghost… I sigh.

“Yes…” Armin seemingly follows my eyes and looks at the spot beside me.

“Can you… _still_ see him?” Another glance at Levi…

“…Yes…” My best friend appeared to be expecting that answer and lets out a breath.

“Because he’s a ghost?”

“…Yes…” There’s a weird silence again, not as awkward as the last, but lasting just a little too long, until Hange bursts at the seams.

“Whoo, look – at – that – progress… we’re all on the same page now, how great is this?!!”

 _“We’re hardly on the same page, Hange, more like…in the same general vicinity of the library...if that.”_ I let the normalcy of Levi’s arsy comment settle my building anxiety. Armin looks down for a while, oblivious of the additional commentary.

“Armin?” I let my concern come through in my voice and wait for him to raise his head to look at me. “I understand if you think I’m crazy for saying these things, o-or that I’m not taking _this_ …” It was my turn to point at the envelope. “… _seriously_ , but trust me _nothing_ , is more important to me right now.” I spare one last glance at Levi…

No one is more important to me right now…

“No, Eren, I … I get that, I really do. I’m just letting this all sink in. I know you’re not crazy, and yeah, you’ve been acting kind of weird lately, but – honestly? – this would kinda explain _that_ …” I smile at him, glad that we’re getting somewhere. “So, where does Hange fit into all of this?”

“Oh, uh, well… Hange’s been…helping me adjust, and understand what’s been going on. I mean, as you can imagine, it was quite a - …”

“We had a mutual interest in the circumstance…” Armin turns his attention to Hange, who has a huge smile plastered to their face and an almost proud look in their eye. “…Levi was my friend.” And then the look turns sad.

“Oh, Hange…” Armin’s voice comes out softer. “…I’m…I’m so sorry.”

Sorry?

Oh yeah…

He read the file…

I take another deep breath and watch Hange place a hand on my friend’s shoulder – a silent ‘thank you’. I adjust myself in my seat and take a second to calm my frantic heartbeat. I still felt a bit nauseous, the whole situation not settling well. It was like when two completely separate parts of your life come together in a really weird way. Like when you introduce that one friend to your parents, or you see your teacher outside of school and realise, ‘wow, you’re a real human being’…

Over the past week Levi has become so central in my life even though no one else – par Hange – knew he was there. He became like this secret I had, a secret that made me feel safe…useful…

Wanted…

“So?” I’m taken out of my thoughts quickly, looking up to see Armin, his face serious – like he’s building up to something. “Is…is this _Levi_ , here now?”

 _“In the flesh…”_ Levi’s voice leeks a ‘bout time’ tone, but he sits up suddenly, a thoughtful look falling across his face. _“Well, not ‘in the flesh’, that would be kind of besides the point.”_ Then he looks at me with a fed-up expression, letting out a humourless chuckle. _“If I had flesh, we wouldn’t be having this problem in the first place.”_ I return the sentiment with my own deadpan sigh and then shrug.

“Sometimes you have flesh...” Levi doesn’t look convinced when I say it. “Of course you do…” I lean forward then, additional company forgotten. “…I would know, I’ve felt it…” I can’t hide my smile when I catch Levi suppressing one of his own, hiding it behind his stoic exterior – a faint blush climbing up his neck.

But then someone clears their throat… I shoot my head up and see both Hange and Armin staring at me. Hange’s expression wickedly knowing and Armin’s doe eyes flickering between the two spaces.

“I take that as a…yes?”

“Yeah, he’s here.” Armin looks between ‘us’ a couple more times before turning to Hange – who I’m assuming has become some kind of anchor for him by this point. “Do they…do this a lot?” Hange rolls their eyes and waves their hand out dismissively.

“Flirt? Yeah…” They scoff. “All the time, its gross…” Then they look over to Levi and lean forward, shoving their face into the palms of their hands. “And adooooorable.” I don’t have to be looking at Levi to see his eyeroll. Armin stands up abruptly and runs a hand through his neatly parted bob.

“Right, so…I’m really trying here, Eren, but let me get this straight…You woke up from a coma and suddenly you could see _ghosts_ …I-I’m assuming that’s when this all started?” I nod, pulse pounding in my skull. “Then, you met Levi, a _ghost_ , and you became…friendly?” I nod again, slightly deterred by his use of words. “And you can see him, _right now_?”

“Yes, Armin…”

“Can anyone else see him?”

“Well…no, but - …” Hange sits up suddenly, voice screeching through the room.

“Did you want to Armin!?!” Armin stutters a bit, taken aback by the offer.

“D-do I…want to see him?” Hange nods frantically, smiling.

I sigh…

“It’s complicated Armin, but we’ve figured out a way that it works. It might help you take all of this in…accept it, you know…” He nods his head slowly, still obviously unconvinced but up for whatever I put forward. “I’m sure we can find some way to convince you, or Levi can _do_ something - …”

“ _Do_ something, so, what, can he do tricks?”

 _“Tricks, what do I look like, a fucking chihuahua?”_ Levi jumps up before anyone can say anything and points a finger at Hange. _“And you shut up, Shitty Glasses!”_   Hange cackles without having to see Levi’s reaction.

“Not tricks, just…” I rub the back of my neck, thinking of how we can do this.

“Eren!?” I look over to Hange, a building glint in their eye. “Which one’s your sisters room?”

“Huh?” I’m totally dumbfounded by the sudden non-sequitur. “Why?” I point behind me towards the door at the very end on the other side. Hange doesn’t stop to explain and jumps out of their seat, heading for Mikasa’s bedroom. I turn to watch them, then share a look with Levi.

 _“The hell are they doing?”_ I shrug, then look at Armin, who looks just as lost as I feel. _“I swear to God if they come out with that bloody Ouija board again, I’m leaving Eren, mysterious death or not, nope – not happening…”_

“Relax Levi, I’m sure they’re just…” I try to think of something, but come up empty – heck – it’s Hange, they could be doing anything. I realise suddenly that it was the first time I’d referred to Levi by name since this all started, and going by Armin’s expression – it surprised us both.

“You’re talking to him? Is he…sitting right there, in that chair?” Armin’s voice was quiet, eyes wide and lingering on the piece of furniture.

“Yeah…” I watch him slowly lean forward across the table to ‘stare’ intently at the ghost and Levi leans back, his expression borderline offended.

_“Stop staring!”_

“He can’t see you Levi!”

 _“I know but it’s still pretty unnerving…”_ Levi’s tone ended up coming across childishly defensive and I smirk. Armin leans forward a little bit more with a scrutinizing and thoughtful expression. An expression that’s swiftly cut short when Levi puts his hand out, bopping Armin on the nose. The scene itself would have been a lot more comical, if it weren’t for the terrified look that swept across Armin’s face as the shiver ran down his body. My friend throws himself back into his chair and tentatively rubs the tip of his nose.

“Jesus Levi, you could have scared the shit out of him!”

_“Sorry, but the kid was getting way too in my personal space.”_

“You’re a ghost, you don’t _get_ personal space.” I give him a flat look then turn back to my friend. “You alright Armin?” Armin’s expression has had time to settle down into a look of fascination. He nods.

“Y-yeah…yeah, I… he touched me…” It wasn’t a question as such, but I could tell that he was looking for some confirmation, for someone else to tell him that ‘yes, that did indeed actually just happen’…

“Well, technically his residual energy – a.k.a my second-hand energy – touched you…” Armin’s eyes widen in question and I hold my hand up. “It’s complicated, b-but we’ll explain it all.” Before Armin can actually voice another question, the three of us are pulled away by a crash in the corner of the room. Hange appears around the edge of my sister’s door, head poking from around the corner and both hands full, holding some piece of furniture.

“Hey guys!” When they shuffle out a bit more, not without banging against the door frame a few more times, Hange finally appears with my sister’s full length mirror.

“Damn, Hange, you better have not made a mess ‘cause my sister’s gonna kill me if you did?”

“Pffft…” Hange waves a dismissive hand at me and struggles with the large mirror over towards the table. “I figured this would be a lot better.” Given, it was a much better idea than the tiny makeup mirror Hange had been carrying around, but…really?

“I…guess…” I let out a quick sigh before standing up to help Hange place the mirror down at the far end of the table.

“And why is there a mirror now?” Oh, right… I turn to Armin still sat at the table and gesture to the mirror, then to Levi’s chair.

“Levi is able to manifest his full apparition when seen through a mirror. Hange has seen it - ….”

“But you don’t need a mirror?”

“ - … no, I don’t – but this is the only way we’ve figured out for others to see him so far.” Once Hange and I finish adjusting the angle of the mirror, Armin stands up and makes his way over. I take a step back and catch Levi still sat down at the table in the reflection, then I notice Armin in the background – mouth open, eyes wide, and his face pale. “Do you see him?”

It was a stupid question…

Of course he saw him…

I take a step back and let Armin approach the mirror. He runs a hand gingerly down the reflective glass, turns around to look at the chair – empty – then back to the mirror – and there he is. I smile, my mind only now catching up to the prospect that someone else, someone as close to me as Armin, can finally see my ghost…

Might finally understand…

Armin doesn’t say anything for quite a while and so I nudge Levi’s shoulder.

“Say ‘Hi’ Levi.” Levi raises his hand and gives my best friend a quick wave.

“Ho – ly crap…” Armin lets out the soft whisper as I smile back at them both in the reflection. “He’s real, like…ghosts, sat…he’s sat, like – right there…” I don’t think I’ve ever seen Armin struggle so much with words. He stares at the mirror, then back to look at us again, then back to the mirror. This is repeated a few times before Levi stands up and approaches the mirror himself. I can tell Armin considers backing away, but he keeps his ground. The two of them are now stood side by side, looking at each other in the reflection.

“So…Armin, Levi…Levi, Armin…” It seemed like a good time for a proper introduction.

“…H-Hi, Levi” Armin raises his own hand and gives Levi a little wave.

 _“It’s nice to finally meet you properly, Armin…”_ I know Armin still can’t hear Levi, and it was quite hard to make out the words through reading lips alone, so I wasn’t surprised when Armin spun around giving me a questioning look.

“He, uh, he said it was nice to finally meet you properly.” I smile, and Armin gives Levi one in return.

This was really weird…

“Wait, ‘properly’, we’ve, um…we’ve met before then?”

“Well yeah, Levi’s practically been by my side since I found him…most of the time, anyway…” My stomach sinks at the memory of the weekend.

“So you were there…”Armin addresses Levi in the mirror – slowly coming to terms with talking to the ‘dead’. “…when we went out to lunch…” His eyes widen in realisation. “…the coke can!!” Levi gives Armin a ‘what you gonna do’ shrug and I run a hand down my face.

“The what what now…?” Hange’s head appears from around the corner, behind the mirror.

“Long story…” I wave it off.

“You said ‘most of the time’…?” Armin frowns for a moment, thoughts and memories running through his head. “At the weekend, all of that…was that about…” Armin gives Levi a soft but pointed look in the mirror. “…you?” Levi looks down for a moment and looks back at me. It wasn’t something either of us wanted to revisit – especially after last night. Levi nods at Armin, avoiding any eye contact.

 _“Sorry…”_ And I know Armin got that one from the reflection. I take a few steps forward and slip my arms around Levi’s waist, resting my chin on his shoulder. I was never one to shy away from public affection with boyfriends in the past, and now didn’t feel any different…

Not… that Levi was my boyfriend…

I just…

Yeah…

I watch Armin share a look with Hange behind the mirror, then he smiles at us in the mirror. He looks genuinely happy when he does, but then it turns to something sadder, an affectionate display of concern.

But then he hides it…

“A lot has happened, so…maybe we should fill you in, then we’ll talk about what’s in there.” All three other sets of eyes look down at the file I gesture to on the table.

_“No more living in blissful ignorance…”_

We spend the next half an hour filling Armin in on the ins and outs of the past month, starting from when I first woke up from my coma to when I first met Levi in the evidence room. We go over the events leading up to the incident at the hospital, Hange’s theories on our energy, our concerns and our challenges over the past week. I explain how Levi left, then explained how I got him to come back. I explain how the badge seems to work and tell Armin about the other ghosts we’ve met along the way.

“So it… works like an anchor to this world?” Armin runs his thumb over the gold plating of Levi’s badge before passing it back to me.

“Yeah, basically…” I quickly put it back into my pocket. “You have any questions?” I’m not sure what to say after having put everything out in the open. I felt strangely vulnerable.

“I don’t think so, at least, not at the moment.” Armin turns his head to glance into the large full body mirror we left at the end of the table. If you angle your head right you can make out Levi sitting in his chair, arms folded across his chest and a grumpy look on his face. “It’s all still so…” Armin sits back in his chair again, then gestures to Levi. “Before, I didn’t think any of this was remotely possible, I mean, I respected that people genuinely thought they experienced the paranormal but I always figured that there was some easy scientific explanation, s-such as electromagnetic fields and infrasound.” He runs another hand through his hair then takes out a pen from his pocket and begins scribbling a quick diagram on the back of the manila envelope. “It’s been demonstrated that the application of varying electromagnetic fields to the temporal lobes of the brain could produce haunting experiences – such as perception of a presence…” Armin quickly gestures to Levi again. “…a feeling of God, or sensations of being touched.” He gingerly runs a finger across his nose. “Certain areas that have been known for their high levels of ‘activity’ also frequently possess erratic magnetic fields.”

 _“If only it were that simple…”_ Levi sounds bored and Armin continues clueless.

“But I’m sitting here, and…and even though I have every intention of trusting and believing in you Eren, my brain couldn’t help but sit there and try to come up with some completely logical – supernaturally void – explanation for this.” Armin shrugs then looks me in the eye. “But I haven’t got one.”

“Well, guess that means you’re one of us now, Ar.” I smile and he returns it with a small one of his own, then his eyes shine a bit brighter and he begins scribbling down a second diagram. Hange leans across and peers over Armin’s shoulder, curious.

“The mirror thing, a-and this…”Armin quickly looks up at Hange. “…the phone scenario you mentioned, it actually makes a bit of sense.” Levi and I both lean forward to watch the diagram take form. “The main factor here for the mirror is a completely smooth surface, everything else around you, Levi…” Armin gingerly addresses the ghost. “…is too rough, too many edges and this scatters the light instead of reflecting it. This in turn would take far too much energy to send you’re ‘body’, so to speak, across multiple surfaces. If you have been absorbing Eren’s excess energy, this gives you some semblance of solidity that begins its vibrations when interacting with the world. It’s this solidity that then enables you to produce light…although it would be interesting to think whether _a soul_ actually has some viability on the appropriate portion of the electromagnetic spectrum…y-you have a soul right?” Levi looks seemingly unimpressed with the implication but nods non-the-less.

“Debateable…” I chuckle when Levi sends me a dead glare and I turn back to my friend – now in his element. Hange beams down at the building circle of diagrams scattered across the still unread file. I stop for a second and frown – catching up to what he was saying. “Wait…what do you mean by ‘the appropriate portion of the electromagnetic spectrum’?” The sciencey words felt stupid coming out of my mouth, then Hange jumps in to explain.

“It’s the portion which makes up what we call, ‘visible light’, it’s the part of the spectrum that is visible to the human eye.”

Oh…makes sense – Armin gives Hange a smile, then continues with his quick-fire theories.

“Exactly, I mean, I wasn’t all for souls and things before, but now clearly I need to be a bit more open minded. However, whatever is giving Levi his ability to absorb/give off light, it is this that then strikes the smooth surface of the mirror and then bounces back at the same angle. We then see these reflective protons as a mirror image.” After Armin was finished with the explanation I nod my head slowly, feeling like I was back in Highschool. Confirming my understanding whilst simultaneously knowing ninety-five percent of the words definitely didn’t compute.

 _“So how much of that went over your tall ass head?”_ Levi gives me a side eye glance and I frown.

“Well you’re not exactly Mr Scientist…!!” Levi just shrugs at my retort and we settle back as Hange asks about the phone.

“It’s pretty much the same kind of thing…” Armin goes on as if it’s the simplest thing in the world. “…distributing the energy in an auditory manner through air requires the molecules to vibrate and move in a pattern – also known as a wave – this would be far more complicated than the light since light travels in a straight line. The patterns would take a lot more energy and effort from Levi. The phone, however, enables those waves to convert into an electrical signal – far easier on Levi’s energy – which is then transmitted as a radio wave, then finally back into sound by the receiving phone. It’s a far less strenuous journey for a ghost, I-I mean, theoretically speaking.” Armin gives a sheepish smile, almost as if he’s concerned he may have stepped over the line or got a little too enthusiastic.

 _“So…can anyone tell me why we didn’t recruit him, like, right at the beginning?”_ Levi leans forward, and I scan my eyes over the biro covered file. _“Because he didn’t use a single analogy, which was kind of refreshing…”_

“You know it wasn’t that simple, Levi…” I look up at Armin. “Thanks for…being here Ar.” My friend seems slightly taken aback by my words then returns the gesture.

“Thank you for letting me in…it couldn’t have been easy, doing all of this on your own.”

“I wasn’t on my own…” I share a look with Hange. “But it’s gonna be a lot easier now you’re here.”

“I hope so, I’ll help in any way I can.” Armin looks down at the envelope and turns it over, getting rid of the rushed drawings and science explanations. “I…take it nobody else knows?” I shake my head and Armin looks as if he wants to say something else, but thinks better of it. “Actually, um… could I quickly talk to you Eren…” He looks over at Levi, then back at me. “…in private?”

“Oh, um…” I go to take the badge out from my back pocket and squeeze it in my hand. “I guess…?” I look over to Levi and he gives me a ‘go ahead’. I place the badge in the centre of the table and stand from my chair. Armin follows suit and we make our way into my bedroom, closing the door behind us.

 

 

 Armin looks around the room briefly as if he were checking for somebody else.

“He’s not here Armin, you wanted to talk to me alone, so…” I gesture my arms out, an invitation to say whatever he wanted to say.

But I had a pretty good idea what it was about…

“Eren, it’s been a…kind of a crazy evening…” I nod – it had. “…but it’s also explained a lot, I feel better knowing rather than sitting around worrying about you.” I smile at that because I felt better too.

“Same, Ar…”

“When you first got out of the coma, we all kind of picked up on something, something about you was different, but then it kind of went – Like you had readjusted…?” That’s one way of putting it. “…We thought maybe it was because of what happened with Reiner, but then he was out of the picture.”

“Armin - …” He didn’t let me talk, wanting to get the words out himself.

“You got better, but you weren’t the same, you seemed pulled down by something, like there was this…” Armin’s eyes get misty for a second and I don’t think I can deal with it – but then he takes a deep breath and continues. “…this weight on your shoulders that you didn’t know how to deal with. We didn’t know how to help you because you wouldn’t talk about it.” He looks up at me and I catch the sincerity in his eyes, making my stomach form knots. I felt guilty for hiding things, but I knew Armin understood now why I did. “You wouldn’t talk to any of us…” his voice catches on the next sentence. “And then you changed again!” I take a step back, running a hand through my poor dishevelled hair.

“Armin, I’m sorry, it was complicated, and I didn’t - …” He cuts me off again.

“I’m not mad at you Eren, I’m not…” He seems to struggle, taking a step towards me – keeping his voice steady so the others didn’t hear. “We love you, Eren, and we were just worried, but then you changed again, your passion came back, you got _angry_ , and…the weight didn’t go but some of it was replaced by something else. You seemed _happy_ underneath it all, you were happy – you laughed more, you _smiled_ again – and not that fake smile you had been plastering around for the weeks prior to that.” My face falters at Armin’s words, not even noticing they had realised. “But the anger and everything with work?” He shakes his head and avoids looking me in the eye. “Mikasa thought maybe you had gotten a boyfriend but I said that that was too simple, that it had to be more than…just…you had always been so open about that kind of thing in the past.” Armin finally looks at me again and I swallow, biting my bottom lip to stop my breath from shaking.

“Mikasa asked me something similar, at the weekend - …”

“But that was just it, Eren, the weekend...! After that weekend I thought, actually, maybe Mika was right. The way you were acting and…” Armin runs a hand down his face and takes his own shaky breath. “After that, and now this evening…” He takes an abrupt step forward and points behind him at the door. “Eren, I’ve read that file…I’ve pieced together _enough!_ I’ve interacted with the dead man in your apartment, _Eren_ …” His voice drops even lower and I can feel my heart beat faster. “I’ve seen the way you look at him, Eren…”

“Armin - …” I shake my head slowly and my body jumps when I hear Hange cackle from the other room, but Armin doesn’t seem remotely perturbed.

“Jesus Christ, Eren, I need you to tell me _right now_ …are you in love with that ghost?”

And there it was…

My whole body freezes and I can hear the blood rushing through my ears. I close my eyes and try to even out my breathing. What was I supposed to say?

“Eren?” Armin’s voice was so quiet, and the plea was obvious – ‘please say no’…

“Armin…it’s fine…” Armin’s face crumples and he takes a step back.

“Fine!?” His voice rises suddenly and my breath hitches, but he adjusts himself. “Eren, how is any of this fine? W-what are you gonna do? I read the file Eren, whatever happened to your friend, it’s not…something isn’t right, you were right about that. I don’t know what you’ve got yourself mixed up in, and yeah, of course I’ll help you, but…what are you gonna do when it’s all over? Is he just gonna disappear? Are you just gonna _watch_ him disappear?”

“I’m…” I hold a hand out in front of me to calm Armin down and keep my own voice steady. “…I’m okay with that…”

“How!? How could you possibly be okay with that Eren?!” I have to close my eyes again and will away the stinging building behind my eyelids. When I open them again and start talking, my voice is firmer.

“Because I have to be, okay…because he needs me to be okay with that! I will help him anyway I can, I will do anything, and then he can r-rest, or…or whatever…if I have to lose him at the end of this then fine…”

“Eren - …”

“No, Armin…” I finally have to wipe away a few tears frantically that managed to escape, but I keep my voice firm still. “I already know this, I already know _all of this_ , you don’t need to tell me…” My voice is so quiet by the end. “…I know…”

 

(Levi POV)

“Whatcha think they’re talking about?” Hange twiddles Armin’s pen in-between their fingers and I just shrug, not even sure if they can see me in the mirror by this point. Hange doesn’t wait for an actual answer but begins to rummage through their bag. “I, uhh…” They find whatever it was they were looking for and smile ‘at’ me. “…I thought about buying you like, a little Nokia, or burner phone, or something, but then I figured that might be kinda weird whilst we’re together in the same room, so…” A heavy thud lands on the table in front of me and I see a simple blank notebook. “…I brought one of these. I thought that since you’ve been able to interact with smaller things so much easier, maybe you could write, c-can you hold a pen?” Hange’s eyes shine at me and my mind goes back to the short note I wrote for them last night, the note that ended up in the trash…

I guess this is my second chance….

Hange slowly slides the pen across the table towards me, and I catch their eyes dart to the mirror beside us – can they even see me from this angle? The question hangs in the air whilst I stare at the pen. I didn’t know what Armin wanted to talk to Eren about, but I had a bad feeling it wouldn’t be making me look like the most favourable investment.

My stomach drops at the thought, so I pick up the pen and gingerly bring the paper closer. Hange jumps in excitement at the action and I stare at the blank page.

What the hell do I write – I needed something to distract me from whatever was being discussed in the other room, their voices jumping in volume every so often – but I couldn’t make out the words. I ignore it and start scribbling down onto the paper…

‘Of course I can hold a fucking pen’

My hand writing was as elegant as always, something I don’t think even death could change. I spin the pad around and Hange beams at me, taking the pen from my wavering hand and scribbling down something in return.

‘This is awesome!!’

 Their handwriting on the other hand was atrocious…

 _“What the hell are you doing Four-eyes, I can hear you, just fucking talk to me…”_ I roll my eyes and Hange must catch that in the mirror.

“Oh right!!” They jump again and hit themselves on the head lightly. “Silly me, I don’t need to write back, I just got caught up, you know!?” Yeah, I did know… “So, cool, now we can talk whilst Eren isn’t here… I wonder what they’re discussing whilst we’re not around?” Hange makes an awkward expression but mine falters at the mention of Eren and I pick the pen back up. 

‘Probably the weather’

 Hange peers down at the words and chuckles, although I know they see through the joke as a deflection and their expression turns softer, voice quieter.

“Yeah, probably…” They look away for a second then swiftly change the subject, something I was extremely grateful for. “Hey, so…that was crazy huh? Armin seems cool about it though, I mean, to an extent, it’s probably pretty weird at the moment…hey, hey, did you like my short jokes?” Hange looks far too proud considering the poor effort put into the insults, I swear they use to be more creative. I scribble my reply…

‘Piss poor effort, Four-eyes. Hobbit reference was on point though’

I have to keep the reply quite succinct because it still took quite a bit out of me, especially since Eren wasn’t nearby.

“Four-eyes? Is that what you called me earlier, you’re getting slack in your old age, Levi!” Hange laughs loudly this time and I can’t help the smile that forms on my lips – I really miss hanging out with them like this. I pull the pad close again…

‘Do you think th –‘

I don’t finish the sentence, a sharp rise in voices from the other room makes me freeze in place – it sounded like Armin, but then it quickly goes quiet once again. My hand stays suspended above the paper and I quickly change my mind. I didn’t want to talk any more.

~~‘Do you think th –‘~~

I scribble the words out and put the pen down. Hange notices the change in my behaviour, quickly trying to lighten the mood.

“Sooo, do you think they’ll mind if I order take out, I’m really hungry after all that talking?” Before I have a chance to respond half-heartedly in some way, the door to Eren’s room opens and the other two walk out. I turn around in my chair and take in Eren’s face.

It seemed too blank, like he was hiding something underneath. Armin looks slightly red in the face and takes a deep breath as he sits down. I turn back to Eren who leans his elbows on the table and runs his hands through his hair.

“Everything alright?” It was Hange who broke the silence, and Eren lifts his head up, putting on a smile – quickly picking up my badge and sliding it into his back pocket.

“Yeah! Yeah, of course, everything’s fine…” I see him share a look with Armin, his jaw clenched and eyes pleading. I want to lean across the table and close the space between us, but I felt overly aware of the mirror beside me.

I preferred it when Eren was the only one who could see me…

“Armin just had a few more questions, but we’re all caught up now…” He turns back to his friend. “Right, Ar…?” Armin nods, a sullen look on his face.

“Right…” He finally picks up the file from the table and opens the first page. “I guess we should get into this then…” I catch Armin take a deep breath and then his focus seems to change. Everybody sits in silence and waits for him to start. I felt uneasy, partly because Eren hadn’t looked at me once since they had their little talk and partly because…

I was kind of sick of hearing how I died…

I look down and close my eyes. I have no doubt that if I was more than just a pathetic bunch of second rate molecules, I’d feel my heartrate increase, I’d feel sick, I’d feel dizzy…but I felt nothing…

And that was kind of the point…

“Now, I went through the different aspects of the case as by protocol, so…” Armin turns the page again and gestures with his hand. “When a crime scene is looked over by forensics, the first thing we consider is body count, who _was_ here, who _is_ here, and who is alive? Given, it’s not our jobs to find out who killed who, it’s more of…how they were killed.” I don’t look up from the table top, my hands clenched on my lap, and then I feel fingers wrap around my own. Warm, and firm, and real. I still don’t look up but curl my own around theirs – around Eren’s.

“So what are you saying…?” Hange frowns down at the papers then shares a look with Eren.

“Well…I’m just reiterating that, it doesn’t necessarily mean it affects what you’re looking for.” Armin takes a minute and flicks through the pages. “Eren, what did the other files say?” Eren takes a deep breath and lets it out in a sigh.

“The file that Levi and I both read from the precinct said that Levi died from bloodless, a gunshot wound at the scene of the crime.” Armin nods as if he expected something like that, and urges Eren to continue, but its Hange who follows on.

“Five years ago, we were told that he was found in the river, a few days after the incident…” Hange looks sad when they say it. “His body wasn’t found at that scene of the crime…”

“Well, that’s actually true.” As Armin says it, all three heads twist up, Eren’s eyes were wide.

“What?”

“The layout of a forensic file is a lot more diplomatic than a usual case file, we go through the different angles and prospects of possible scenarios that could have taken place based off of the evidence left behind. For this case, five years ago…” Armin looks down then and begins reading from the file. “…’Levi Ackerman, Detective of Shiganshina District, Precinct 104, was wounded in an altercation during an undercover case lead by Dhalis Zachary.”

“Wounded?! So what happened to him?” I can feel Eren’s grip on my hand tighten, so I cover it with my other and watch his shoulders come back down.

“The scene consisted of six different bodies, four were filed Titans, one was Levi, and the last was unidentified. The chase and shooting took place at around two-thirty-five in the morning, down one of the back downtown Shiganshina streets – parallel with the Shiganshina river.” Armin turns to Hange. “That’s why many people would have probably believed that Levi’s body was found in the water.”

“But it wasn’t?” Armin acknowledges the question, but doesn’t answer it.

“It was written off, pretty much, as a straight forward gang dispute. Downtown, they happen all the time and so little investigation is put in.” Hange leans forward, their hand making rather loud contact with the table.

“But that doesn’t make sense, if they knew Levi was undercover during this period and involved with this altercation, then why would they label it as run of the mill Titan bullshit!?” I could tell that Hange was starting to get upset and it made it hard to focus.

 _“Hange…”_ I let their name slip out, but it was pretty useless on my end – but Eren never lets me go unheard.

“Hange…” They look over to Eren and lean back in their chair. “It’s okay…” Eren’s voice was calm, making Hange take a deep breath, waiting for Armin to continue.

“I know, it doesn’t make sense, and that’s the part where I realised something was wrong. If someone had changed the results of this case within the main file at the precinct, chances are they wouldn’t be able to in our department, so what’s written here, is legit. The amount of blood found at the crime scene was fitting to five casualties, one stab wound and three shot down. One missing…”

“Armin, I don’t - …” The blond man quickly turns the file around and pushes it towards Eren, across the table. Armin points to a black and white photograph of the crime scene covering at least half of the page. Eren leans forward, eye’s taking in the blurry forms of the image.

“There were four bodies by the time forensics got to that crime scene, Eren. Four bodies, all Titans, all dead – but there were signs of five bodies having been injured, there was enough blood there, so much, there should have been five dead bodies. Again, this was written off, looked over. Levi’s body was moved without approval, or at least, without document.” Armin stops for a moment and glances in my direction, it was full of sympathy which he then turns on Eren. “Eren...” His voice was low and steady. “…I don’t know what happened to Levi’s body, but I _can_ tell you…” He leans forward again and points to the photograph once more. “… that is _was_ here, at _this_ crime scene. This is the only file that exists which does not pronounce Levi dead or missing on scene, this is the only file which tells the truth, but there’s also so much it doesn’t tell us, because that wasn’t its job…which I can only presume was the reason it was overlooked by whoever changed the originals.”

 _“Well shit…”_ Everyone was silent. Even though we all knew what we had been told, or what we had read, was a lie – the truth wasn’t really helping. I still didn’t know what happened to me that night, heck, I didn’t even know what happened to my body…

“So, let me get this straight…” Eren sits up a bit taller and pulls my hand over to his lap so that he can lean forward. “Levi went undercover on a Titan case, something happened, there was an altercation, a car chase? I-I don’t know…then somewhere downtown, across the river, there was a shootout, a fight? Six people were there, six people witnessed this, four of them ended up dead, one of them – what? – got away? And Levi, who was ‘wounded’, was taken by somebody who decidedly tried to cover up the fact he had been there at all? He didn’t die - …?”

“He didn’t die here, Eren. I can’t tell you what happened after that, a forensic case file doesn’t have the same kind of details you would be looking for.”

“Yeah well, the details I’m looking for are non-existent by this point, Ar…they don’t fucking exist! Now we’re sat here, with more fucking questions, we still don’t know what happened to Levi, we don’t even know what happened to his body!”

 _“Eren…”_ I clutch his hand tighter and bring it up to my lips. The action seems to bring Eren out of whatever spiral he was going down and he looks at me. _“It’s okay…”_ I repeat the same words he spoke to Hange just moments ago, which seems to calm him down.

“Sorry, Armin…” Eren’s voice is low again.

“It’s okay, you’re frustrated and…” Armin’s eyes go between Eren and myself, his attention on our hands interlocked in the mirror. “…I get it…”

“Besides, Eren…” Hange leans far across the table and flicks the file closed. “This hasn’t told us nothing, we now know that someone covered up Levi’s involvement in this altercation, we know that someone else was there, someone else witnessed what happened. We may not know the specifics yet, but we have some confirmation, and we will get the rest, in time.”

“Actually…” Armin’s voice cuts in and we all look up, his face suddenly determined. “…the file recounts the four bodies and the obvious evidence of a fifth victim of the…incident, evidence which showed severe injuries – like – really severe, and we may not know who took Levi’s body away, but if it ended up anywhere, Eren, with wounds like that - …”

“He was taken to the hospital…” Eren finishes off the sentence, a new thought piecing together in his mind.

“I would bet anything, if I was a powerful official within the department, within the force, within the government, I would have connections in the hospital. But regardless, a patient like that would need to be treated like any other, and so things would be documented.”

“You think there’s evidence of Levi back at the Shiganshina Heart hospital?” Armin nods.

“If there’s anymore, anywhere, it would be there.” Hange frowns at the new conclusion.

“And how are we supposed to get a hold of hospital files?” Eren shares a look with Armin, then turns to me. I could see the conflict in his expression. I knew he wanted to help me more than anything, but I also understood that he didn’t want to drag his sister into this twisted bullshit. I shake my head.

 _“Eren, you don’t need to do this, it…”_ It was getting ridiculous, someone wanted me out of that picture, and they did just that, and they did a pretty damn good job of it as well.

Might as well let them have it…

“No…” I look back up and see Eren shaking his head, he looks angry. “I’m not letting you just give up now…not after everything. My sister will help us, we’re gonna figure it out, we’re gonna find out what happened, and then…” Eren stops.

Exactly..

And then…

What?

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr - if you have questions on the fic or updates - jovialjellyfishreaper


	14. One Photo, A Thousand Words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whooooo, look at this prompt update! Hope you enjoy!!! <3  
> LOVE YOU GUYS and I can NEver thank you enough for your lovely comments!!!

It’s been a few days since our evening with Armin, and probably one of the most difficult conversations I’ve had since the time I came out to my sister…although, I think there was more crying in that conversation…

Happy tears, mind…

I still haven’t found the right time to talk to my sister about going through old, potentially classified, illegal activity riddled, hospital files regarding the ghost whose been living in our apartment for the past week and a half. Yeah…somehow the topic just hasn’t rolled off the tongue at dinner. It doesn’t help that we tend to work on alternating shifts. I’m away at the precinct during the day, working normal, human-like hours, whilst my sister sleeps and then heads to the hospital for the graveyard shift…for the third week in a row.

When I went back to work on Wednesday I tried to focus on the other cases I’d been expected to follow through with. I still had superiors who had expectations of me doing a job that I came in for. Given, that superior is currently a tall, 6.2, blond - cryptically dismissive of certain subjects (I think we all know what I’m talking about) - pencil pusher, who I don’t know whether or not I can trust. All the more reason I need to keep my head down and not draw more attention to myself. If the higher ups in the department really are covering up shady shit, then I definitely didn’t want them sniffing around _my_ desk.

The past two days have been strangely normal, I went to work, I had lunch with Hange, I got the update files for all of my current cases on Erwin’s desk and Jean hasn’t been nearly as annoying as he usually is. Yeah…the past two days have given me time to rethink, go over recent developments and catch up on the non-paranormal part of my life…normal…

Well, apart from the ghost that’s currently pinging paperclips across my desk…

“Would you stop doing that!” I snap at Levi in a whisper, careful not to draw attention to us whilst the precinct was still full at the beginning of the morning shift.

 _“I’m bored…! I can’t do anything whilst we’re here! Do you know how difficult it is to just sit here whilst the world harpers on around you? All I can think about are the same things, over and over again until I come to exactly the same conclusion I did fifteen minutes ago when I was thinking about the exact same thing!”_ I knew Levi was getting agitated, our progress on the case had taken a brief backseat whilst we were at the precinct and I hated not being able to just talk to him like normal.

“I know, Levi…” I sigh and run a hand through my hair, not taking my eyes off of the computer screen in front of me. It had a list of Titan names on file under various years from when Levi worked at the department. I reach out and lay my hand carefully over Levi’s which lent restlessly on the desk in front of him. I tried to make it look like a casual gesture and then I wrap my fingers around his. “A couple more minutes and then we can go out the back.”

We’d decided that we’d use the free morning to look through the case files for the Titan cases covering the time of the ‘incident’ which resulted in Levi’s injuries, and ultimately…his death. Since it was finally Friday it seemed like a good time to gather information and be ready to talk to my sister at the weekend when she’ll finally be around. I finish what I’m doing on the screen in front of me and send the page to print. I stand up abruptly, sprint walking to the printer in the corner of the room.

“Yo, Jaeger?!” I grab the piece of paper being spat out by the LaserJet and jump at my name being yelled across the room. I turn to see Ymir wheeling her chair slowly in my direction.

“Yeaaaah?” The word is pulled out slow and warily from my mouth. Ymir stops right in front of me with a coffee in her hand and looks up, a bored expression adorning her sharp features.

“Krista wanted me to tell you she’ll be around later to talk to you regarding the Magnolia case, she’s in court this morning but hopes to discuss it with you when some answers come in this afternoon.”

“Oh, awesome! Yeah, I can be here…thanks.” She gives me a half-hearted smirk and wheels her way back to her desk, narrowly avoiding Connie’s arm as it flings out during an animated discussion with Sasha. I head back to my own desk and gesture for Levi to get up, then I turn to Jean.

“Dude…” Jean’s head shoots up and I nudge my head in the direction of the evidence room. “I’m just gonna go through some old files to follow up on the Wall Rose case. I’ll be out the back if you need me.” I take off before he can say anything and head towards the evidence room, Levi at my heals.

“ _Soooo…?”_ Levi kicks the door shut behind us and takes a big sigh. _“Home sweet home, am I right?”_ I walk further into the room without looking back, rolling my eyes at Levi’s dramatic hand gesture. I look up, my eyes trailing over the shelves upon shelves of overflowing boxes. I needed ‘T’ for Titans, files categorised for 2012 through to ‘13 and any, and all, information on case specifics around March 3 rd… I sigh and take a step forward, grabbing the first Titan box I can find and lugging it onto the floor.

“There are like…a gazillion case files on the Titans so we’ll need to go through them until we find the right year, then figure out which covered your jurisdiction whilst you were in the precinct…” I kneel down and take the lid off of the first box, then look up to see Levi lent against the shelves, arms crossed, looking down at me with his eyebrow raised. “What?”

 _“Nothing…”_ He shrugs, but smirks before looking away.

“Well, as I was saying…” I look down again and start flicking through the files, searching for the right dates. “… If we find the cases, or at least ones closely linked to the ones you were working on at the time, it might help give us some idea of what caused the incident that night.” The files were getting more and more frail as I went through the box, ‘1998’, ‘97’…yeah, we’re going in the wrong direction here. I throw the lid back on and stand up, kicking the box off to the side.

 _“Why do I get the feeling I’m gonna grow old watching you do this…?”_ Levi leans more of his weight onto the shelf, jutting his hip out, oozing just enough sass to turn obnoxious into sexy. I roll my eyes again and lift the next box down.

“First of all…” I turn back to the ghost and drop the box heavily on top of the last, holding my finger up. “…you’re dead, so growing old is no longer a luxury you can complain about…”

 _“Ouch…”_ Levi’s voice comes out thick and facetious.

“And second of all, if you put some of that aforementioned energy we currently share towards helping, rather than standing around with your thumb up your ass, maybe this would go a little faster…” I gesture my hands out in a ‘what say you, ghost?’ strut and watch Levi’s smirk turn into a full-on smile.

 _“Seems fair…”_ I smile back and bring another box down, placing it carefully on the shelf in front of him.

“We’re looking for the year 2013, 2012 if it’s a late annual case…okay?” I glance up from my own box to see Levi gingerly flick the lid off the one I just brought down. “Okay!?”

 _“Okay! Jeez, kid, you want it in fucking writing…?”_ I shake my head and start flicking through files once again.

“Yeah, like we have time for you to pick up a fucking pen…”

_“Asshole…”_

“Short-stack…”

_“Short-stack? What are you, twelve?”_

“Your face is twelve…” I smirk at my own childish behaviour then pause. “Do you remember the first time we met in here…?” I stop what I’m doing again to look at Levi.

 _“Yeeeah…course I remember, why?”_ Levi seems slightly confused by the change of subject and I shrug, quickly getting back to work.

“No reason, just…we’ve come a long way since that.”

 _“Since what? You taking God knows how long to get out an actual sentence and me insulting your horrendous wardrobe decisions.”_ Levi looks up at me _. “As first meetings go, Eren, it was sub-par.”_ I chuckle.

“Yeah, but…” I can’t hold back the smile that grows on my face, and I catch Levi’s eyes when I look up. “…it’s been my favourite one so far.” Levi stops what he’s doing to look down at me, his face softening. “And you had no right to insult my tie like that…”

_“It’s an awful contribution to the accessory pool, it should be burned…”_

“It’s adorable and you know it…”

 _“Once the floor opens up and finally welcomes me into the pits of hell…”_ Levi pauses to glare at me. _“I’m taking it with me.”_

“Something to remember me by?” I wiggle my eyebrows as I lug down another box.

_“For the good of humanity, Eren…I’m not that sentimental.”_

“Whatever helps you sleep at night.” I smile once more, and I let out a chuckle as a sudden cold air whips around my body. After spending so much time with Levi, the cold spots and the shivers down the spine had stopped…Levi was as real, and warm as any other person around me. So, when the shiver runs down my spine in that evidence room, I quickly straighten up, until I’m face to face with an old woman.

It was the same ghost I saw when I first came in here, when I was looking for another box of evidence, and instead, found Levi. I hadn’t wanted her to notice me then and I didn’t want her to know that I could see her now, because something about the old ghost felt wrong. She looked at me but didn’t really look like she was seeing me at all…like she was seeing a whole different space. Her eyes were dark, as if the colour that had once been there had sunken in, leaving nothing but a pool of dark grey. I could feel a cold feeling in the pit of my stomach and as her arm slowly extended towards me, I took an involuntary step back, my body crashing into the shelves behind me.

 _“HEY!”_ Levi’s sudden shout pulls me away from the old lady’s eyes and he whistles into the still storage room, getting the other ghost’s attention _. “Keep moving, grandma!”_ The older ghost freezes, it’s arm flopping back down to its side. I look over to Levi and he sends the silent ghost a glare, watching as she slowly walks away from us, paying the rest of the room no mind.

“Thanks…” My voice sounds small to my own ears.

 _“You alright?”_ I close my eyes and lean my head back against the metal surface. The concern slipping into Levi’s voice fills my chest with a wave of warmth – the cold from the other ghost forgotten. I don’t open my eyes, the dark pupils of the old lady still etched into my mind. It wasn’t like the other ghosts I’d spoken to before. It looked like there was something missing from behind her eyes…it made me wonder how long she’d been in here…

How much longer than Levi?

What anchored her to this room…?

How did she die…?

What did she want from me?

After all the joking about Levi not having a soul, it was obviously not true – Levi was clearly as ‘Levi’ as he’d ever been. But that women…she didn’t look like she’d had one, at least, she didn’t look like she’d seen it in a long time…maybe that’s what eventually happens when a ghost isn’t set free…

 _“Eren?”_ I feel a soft touch along the edge of my jawline and I lift my head up, finally opening my eyes to see Levi standing in front of me. A subtle frown ruining the perfect porcelain complexion that would appear almost too much on anyone else.

“Sorry” I step slightly away from the shelf and look down, letting out a deep breath. “She was just…” I shrug, not knowing how to explain the uneasy feeling I’d felt when she’d gone to touch me.

 _“I know…”_ Levi’s long, elegant fingers brush up across my temple and through my hair. _“…She’s probably been in here for a long time, a long, long time, Eren. Eventually, it’s gonna take its toll.”_ I rub the back of my neck and feel the last remnants of the cold disappear. _“She probably felt your surplus of energy and wanted a…”_ Levi shrugs. _“…-a taste?”_

“A taste?” I feel the smirk ease onto my face, my body shifting back to normal and I lean forward, my voice lowering between us. “Is that what _you’re_ doing, having a taste?” I watch Levi as he pulls his bottom lip in between his teeth and takes a step away from me, his hand left resting in the centre of my chest.

 _“Head out of the gutter, Jaeger…”_ He walks away and gestures to the walls around us. _“We need to get this shit over with so we can get out of this glorified cupboard.”_

 

It takes us another ten minutes before I come across the right year. I yank the file out and immediately notice the difference in weight – must have been an active year for the Titans. I sit down on the floor with my back against the shelves and kick the box out of the way for Levi to join me. The 2012/13 file was brimming with single pieces of paper that threatened to come loose every time I moved. Once Levi was sat beside me I open it up and rest the double page spread on top of my thighs, running my finger down the crudely written out contents page. There were separate operations spread across all fifteen months, through two different years.

 _“What the hell are we looking for exactly?”_ Levi leans a bit closer and I turn my head to look down at him.

“I guess we just want some idea as to the nature of what it was you were investigating. Ideally whilst we go through this you’ll remember some stuff before you went undercover. We don’t have any way of knowing how long you were undercover, or for what specific purpose.” I pause for a moment and raise my eyebrows, closing more of the space between us. “I don’t suppose you have any convenient memories knocking around inside that lovely little head of yours?’

 _“If I did remember anything, Eren, I promise, you’d be the first to know.”_ Levi’s expression doesn’t change from his usual stoic demeanour, and I huff, turning my attention back to the file.

“Anyway, we’ll see what the Titan’s were up to and work up from there.” I decide to start from the beginning, we had plenty of time and there’s no use rushing if it meant we might miss integral information.

Page after page covers mostly circumstantial evidence, various detectives trying to put together a case which could ultimately lead to some kind of bust. A few arrests were made during the last few months of 2012, which led to a lead in Shiganshina’s fishing district. I shift in place as I read through the written-up notes by some un-named detective from six years ago. The fishing district must be a big place of activity, coming back around to one of the more recent cases today in the precinct.

 _“The main food contributors and outlets throughout the downtown areas have always played a big part in gang activity around these parts. It’s been a go-to for years.”_ I feel Levi shift, his head resting on my shoulders as he’d started to space out whilst I read through the old paperwork. _“That’s why, when I tried to help you with that Wall Rose connection after we first met, I told you it was a simple idea. Where large quantities of produce come in, so can…”_ Levi shrugs and moves his head to stare up at me _. “…pretty much anything you want – given you bribe the right person enough.”_

“So, even five/six years ago, when you were working in the precinct, the docks were a hot spot for Titan activity.”

 _“Yep…”_ Levi sounds rather disinterested, like this was all old news. I keep reading and the first signs of legitimate evidence of drug smuggling shows up around early January of the new year.

Drugs…

Should have guessed really…

“Where there’s drugs, there’s money, and where there’s money, there’s corrupt assholes making the world just a little bit shittier… “

 _“That’s very profound, Eren…”_ Levi adjusts his head again. _“You gonna put that on a bumper sticker?”_ I jolt my shoulder up, knocking his head away from me.

“Shut up, I’m serious!”

 _“I know…”_ Levi sits up and rests his arms over his knees. _“In my earlier years at the precinct, something I do remember, the biggest game was drug activity, it’s what kept the gangs fed, so to speak. When I was in my mid-twenties, there was this massive scandal about the governor in Trost working with the MP’s to smuggle in cocaine across the wall county’s.”_ I knock my knee against Levi’s, making him look at me. It was the most he’d ever said regarding his time as a detective. _“I worked on the case with Erwin and we both got put up for promotion after it went to court. We both accepted the promotion and it left us in the senior leagues, still on the ground, but now we were amongst larger fish, you know.”_

“What happened after that?” I kept my voice low and Levi shrugs.  

 _“Not much, the Titan case has been pretty much on going since before I was around…dirty cops and back-alley deals have always been a part of it…I don’t really remember anything around my final case…”_ He’s quiet for a moment, then frowns. _“…but I know that I…I did a lot of work on the underground deals within the Titan affiliation.”_

“So…what are you saying, you actually looked into corrupt officials whilst you worked here?”

 _“Yeah, it’s not an easy job, it involved getting close to pretty powerful people.”_ Levi sighs. _“Honestly, I think that – maybe - if I went undercover, found out that a certain person, or people, were involved with the Titan’s…why wouldn’t that someone want me dead?”_ Hearing the words come out of Levi’s mouth sent a numb shock through my chest, but it was the soundest conclusion. Armin suspected a similar scenario and promised us he’d look into it, but really, in his department, there was only so much he _could_ look into.

“That makes the most sense…” I lean my head back and stare up into the cold lamps hanging from the ceiling. “So…what the hell did you come across whilst you were inside the Titan’s?” It was a rhetorical question, but Levi answers none-the-less.

 _“Beats me…there’s still a great big void in my memory with a sign that reads ‘fuck knows’ where that information should be.”_ I let out a dry chuckle and run my hands down my face.

“This is so ridiculous…” Levi gives me a ‘no shit’ expression and I carry on. “We need to find out who else was there that night, they’re obviously behind what happened to your body. If you went undercover to find out about the drug trafficking, then found out important, trusted people were involved…” I lower my head and turn a pointed look onto Levi. “If you found out something…something you _knew_ you shouldn’t, something you _knew_ would get you into deep shit, would you go up against it…? Or would you turn your back and pretend like you didn’t see anything?” It was an unnecessary question, because I already knew the answer…

I knew Levi…

 _“I’d…”_ He looks down for a moment, then lets out a cold, humourless laugh. _“I’d probably go and get myself killed.”_ Levi looks up at me and his lips lift at the edges in a sad smile. I shake my head slowly.

Yeah, that’s what I thought…

I turn back to the files once again and flip to the next page. A hand-full of photographs fall out into my lap and I scramble them up, holding them above the pages on my lap. The first photograph showed a rather blurry image of a crime scene, bodies were scattered around the edge of the river side with gunshot holes brandishing the outer wall. I go to the next photo and feel Levi lean against me to get a better look. This one showed four men, all in smart suits with cocky expressions on their faces. One of the men had their back to the camera and I only recognised two of the other three - Dhalis Zachary…

The man who sent Levi undercover…

My bosses boss…

And Kitz Wielman… the man who was found dead my first day back on the job…

Wielman was a known corrupt politician, but that was overlooked by those who could do anything about it, provided he kept their dirty laundry in the dark. He looked slightly younger in the photograph, which makes sense given it was taken over five years ago, but I didn’t even know he was working his way up back then.

“Do you know who this man is?” I tilt the photo towards Levi and point to the last man facing the camera.

 _“Next to Zachary? Yeah, that’s…”_ Levi tilts his head to the side. _“…Rod Reiss…he had what is Zachary’s job now. When I was working here, Erwin and I answered to Zachary and_ _Zachary answered to Reiss. This photograph’s just a bullshit snapshot of, what was, the chain of command.”_

“So, what happened to Reiss when Zachary got promoted?” Levi shrugs.

 _“Hell should I know, I wasn’t exactly present when the desks shifted.”_ I roll my eyes and look back at the picture.

“What do you think Wielman’s doing in this photo?”

 _“Looks to me like he’s desperately trying to fit in with men who clearly outclass him by at least $50,000 annum…”_ I stare dryly at Levi’s joke and he sighs _. “I suppose…five years ago…? I guess Wielman was just getting his political career off the ground. He invested a huge amount of money into the department a few months after the Trost scandal, although back then he was just a business man…”_ I nod my head.

“Once a business man, always a business man…And what about this guy?” I point to the only other man in the image with his face hidden from view.

_“I don’t know, can’t make out his face, but…this photo doesn’t exactly look staged.”_

“What do you mean?”

_“I mean…whoever took this picture clearly didn’t want to be noticed taking said picture. Plus, it’s kinda shitty quality.”_

“Okay, so, whoever took this picture might have some information we could use…we just need to-…” I turn the photograph over and notice a series of elegantly written short-hand notes on the back. “…-to figure out who took it.” I read through the notes…

‘Kitz Wielman, Dhalis Zachary, Rod Reiss, T’  
Shiganshina Docks  
15th February 2013  
T pick up. 2549 Karanese’

I go over the graceful lettering, whoever it was had clearly scribbled the words down in a rush, but that didn’t stop them from creating the perfect curls of the ‘K’s and the flicks of the ‘R’s. I knew I recognised the writing, my mind flying back to the bright red pen on Jean’s file and the graceful, succinct words left in the back of Hange’s notebook.

“Hey?” I show Levi the back. “You recognise any of this?” He looks them over and gestures in a non-comital manner.

_“Names, dates, locations…why would I know?”_

“Because, Levi…”I look down again, then back into his blue eyes. “…I’m pretty sure that you wrote it.” Levi doesn’t say anything, but his face tells me he doesn’t recall taking or documenting the photograph himself. I turn my attention back to the thin stack of photos and flick through the remaining ones. Most are of various locations and crime scenes, taken from a distance with no more words written on the back of them. Except for one…

I get to the end of the pile and my fingers halt as they graze over the edges of the photographic paper. It was taken outside of a large factory building. I recognised it from some of the quick patrols I’ve done with Jean down in the lower parts of downtown Shiganshina. In the photo stood two figures, one was tall and blond, sporting a smart but practical suit- gun in the holster and badge on display – and even though he was partially distorted by the angle of the photograph – it was clearly Erwin. The other man, though, his face was as clear as day. With dark, raven hair and eyes that looked like they could pull secrets out of a brick wall.

It was Levi…

I turn the photo over, and all there is…is a date…

‘2nd March 2013’

This photo was taken one day before Levi was killed…murdered…?

 _“Eren…?”_ I start at Levi’s voice and drag my eyes away from his perfect captured form.

“Sorry…” I hold the photo up and run my thumb down the creased edge. “..it’s uh, it’s you…” Levi takes the small piece of card when I offer it over and frowns at the carbon copy of himself. “…it’s weird because you look…exactly the same…” It was true, he wore almost exactly the same suit, his hair was the same length and obviously, he hadn’t aged a day.

 _“I’m thinking…”_ He hands the photo back. _“…that I probably didn’t take this one.”_ I bite my bottom lip and let out a sigh. Yeah, clearly somebody else was behind this one, somebody who knew Levi had been undercover. I couldn’t help but wonder why Erwin was in the picture and what the hell he was doing there if Levi was supposed to have infiltrated the Titans by this point.

One day before he was killed…

What the hell happened in the time between this photo being taken and Levi being killed… to result in us sitting here now?

“Do you think anyone would notice if I kept this?” I look over to Levi and see him raise an eyebrow.

 _“It’ll be a little weird having a photo of your boss hidden away inside your nightstand, don’t you think?”_ His expression turns teasing and I take the photo in-between my fingers. I begin to fold it as neatly as I can, a third of the way through the image until all you can see is Levi – Erwin neatly hidden away underneath. I hold the ‘new’ photograph up, tucked between my middle and forefinger.

“Can I keep _this_ one inside my nightstand?” I let a suggestive smirk cover up the building nerves inside my body. Levi scoffs.

_“You kidding? That deserves to go on the fucking fridge…”_

Yeah…I think I’ll frame it…

 

(Levi POV)

“Hey, sorry we’re late…” Eren stands by the head of the table and waits for me to shuffle along the red leather bench so he can sit beside me. “We had a…busy morning…” He sits down and Hange waves their hand at us dismissively.

“No problem!” They turn their wide grin into a suggestive smirk and lower their head. “Busy morning, ai?” They wiggle their eyebrows as Eren rolls his eyes.

“Jesus Hange, how ‘bout keeping it PG 13, we’re in a _family_ diner here…” I smile at Eren’s reply and watch as Hange repositions themselves in the centre of their side of the booth.

“Well, anyway…we’re here to reconvene and catch up! Anything to declare?” They wiggle their eyebrows again and slide a notebook towards me as they do. I pick up the pencil they situated on top and flick it to the side, watching the Winnie the Pooh cap on top jiggle around.

 _“You know a biro would have sufficed?”_ Hange cackles at me jiggling their ridiculous pencil about when Eren’s hand gingerly lowers my hand back down onto the table.

“How about we _not_ parade the magical floating Disney pencil around in public?” Eren gives me a stern look and I feel my lips lifting into a genuine smile.

I think I’ve smiled more in the past two weeks than I had the thirty-four years prior…

“We found some interesting stuff back in the evidence room, going through old Titan case files… including…” Eren was all business again and takes out the photographs we found this morning. “…these.” Hange splays the different images onto the table top and rakes their eyes over each one. I notice that the one with me in it…the one Eren folded to his own liking - was missing – still stuffed into his back pocket with my badge.

The thought made me smile a little bit more…

“These are all from around the same time? Right before-…”

“Right before Levi died, yeah…!” Eren starts reiterating everything we’ve discovered in the past 24 hours, so I zone out. I had been there, I didn’t need to hear about it again.

Instead, I look around the diner, it was a classic American diner, red and white tiles on the walls and sticky, dark wooden tables. We always seem to come here now because Hange likes their burgers. The diner itself was full of couples and families out to lunch, kids scream from risen booths and busboys in tacky uniforms run around clearing tables. The smell of fast food lingers in the atmosphere and I run my tongue around the inside of my mouth, each of my senses now as clear as the day I died…at least I presume…

Memory’s still a bit fuzzy…

I pull my eyes away from the chaotic room and catch Eren’s animated gestures from the corner of my eye, it was endearing. The way his eyes light up when he talks about something he’s passionate about, the way the tips of his ears turn bright red when he’s embarrassed or frustrated…or the way he half-heartedly pushes his hair out of his face whilst he thinks.

Oh God, I sound like a fucking fifteen-year-old girl…

Snap out of it Levi…

I catch movement around the table and see Hange shuffling along to let Armin slide in beside them, his arms flapping around in explanation.

“Sorry I’m late, there was this whole homicide thing out in the west Stohess district. It was kinda messy and I couldn’t get away as quick as I’d have liked…” Armin sits down and Hange slides a menu out in front of him, followed by one of the photographs. “Whoa, you find these this morning…?” I start to tune out the conversation once again. I watch Armin’s eyes grow bigger and smaller as Eren and Hange fill him in. Every so often I see him look at me, and even though I know Armin still can’t see me on my own, I felt slightly self-conscious.

At the end of the day, Armin was Eren’s best friend. He cared about Eren just as much as I did, just as much as his family – and here I was – dragging his best friend into all kinds of shit.

Armin _should_ hate me….

“…-ave you tried it, it might work?” Their conversation sinks in and out, my mind only catching onto the end of the last question.

“No, I haven’t…”

“Ohhh! We could though, might be fun…!” Hange jumps up in their seat and turns to Armin who cuts them off.

“I doubt it would work, reflections are one thing but capturing light in a digital camera would require vast amounts more. As the light from Levi enters the camera this would have to be captured and turned into electronic signals. The incoming ‘picture’ of a ghost would hit the sensor chip which breaks it up into millions of pixels. This is where you’d struggle since these millions of pixels have to rely on coming back together perfectly and the light energy coming off of Levi is likely far too unreliable to form back together comprehensively and - ….”

“Whoa whoa whoa…Armin, dude…no science talk over lunch, okay?” Eren holds his hand up and punctuates his point by taking a bite out of his sandwich.

When did they even order?

“Okay, but…” Hange dips a fry in their ketchup. “You’re talking about a digital camera, I reckon that with the chemical reaction inside a film camera, we might be able to capture more with that since it works similarly to a tiny mirror…” Armin raises his eyebrows and shrugs.

“True…”

 _“What are you guys talking about?”_ I look over to Eren and he answers without turning his head.

“Hange wanted to see if you would show up on camera…” He throws his head back and looks at me from the corner of his eye. “Bet you’d love that wouldn’t you, definitely strike me as a someone who loooves getting’ his photo taken.” Hange chuckles, having overheard our conversation, pulling my attention away from Eren.

“I don’t think Levi’s ever smiled in a single photograph the whole time I knew him…besides, I just thought it’d be nice, you know.”

“It doesn’t really matter... We have way more important shit to focus on.” Hange scoffs but replies, their mouth full after taking an unnecessarily large bite out of their burger.

“-Ike you ooont ‘ant a pictur of tha erfec ace…” They grin and continue eating as if they had said the most coherent sentence in the world.

“I’m sorry, what?” Hange laughs again and Armin makes a face, passing them a napkin before turning back to his own meal. I turn my attention back to the diner, but my mind was further away.

After we had found the picture of me and Erwin earlier, my mind had been going around in circles, trying desperately to remember something - anything. I remembered everything about my life prior to that case, my final case. I remember working at the precinct and climbing through the ranks. I remember having Erwin there, a partner who never doubted my instincts or my blunt declarations.

He was a good partner…

So why did it feel so sour when I saw him now?

“-…esus, Hange, stop talking with your mouth full, we’re trying to- …” I tune it out again…

I turn my head to look out the window and I see the clouds starting to darken, rain was coming. Rain was one of those things I missed most, that feeling of getting drenched, and the fresh smell after. The feel of it on your skin, your face…getting caught in the rain with Eren was definitely one of my favourite memories throughout this whole experience – regardless of why we were out there. I notice a movement of colour and see an employee burst through one of the back doors, folding his jacket tighter around his middle and a cigarette in hand.

Lucky bastard…

“Can I get you anything else?” The chipper tone of the waitress breaks through my reverie and I look up to see her bright smile beaming down at Eren.

“No, thanks…”

“Ooh!! Yes! Lovely waitress lady, may I have another coffee please?” Hange waves their hand to get the girl’s attention before she left.

“Is that such a good idea, Hange…should you even be drinking caffei - …” I tune it out again…

If whoever wanted to kill me succeeded that night, did Erwin know about it? Did he try to help me?

Did he help them?

I lean my arms on top of the table and take one of the sugar packets, flicking it around whilst my eyes glazed over. My body was still getting stronger. I could interact with almost anything solid, anything physical, although, I couldn’t for that long, but I was becoming more and more a part of this world as time went on. I lean my head in the palm of my hand, resting my elbow up as I turn my head, watching Eren give Hange a painfully dry look.

Eren was the reason I could touch, the reason I could feel…

The reason I wasn’t slowly fading away in that God forsaken evidence room…

“I take it you haven’t spoken to your sister yet?” Armin’s eyes dart over to me again and I sub-consciously sit up straighter in my seat…he can’t see you Levi! Eren follows his friend’s attention and glances at me, making Armin turn his head away quickly. “I mean, I imagine I would have received a rather frantic phone call or something after, if you had…” He chuckles to lighten the mood. “Or at least a text message.” Eren must sense my unease and he rests a hand on my knee – a gesture he’s been doing a lot lately…

“No, not yet, Ar. I figured I’d wait for this weekend, we’ll both actually be at home during the day, hopefully, so I can sit her down and…shit – think about what the hell I’m gonna say to my overbearing, intense, overprotective, and over all ‘don’t fuck with me, Eren’ sister.” Eren’s voice raises towards the end in a crude and, quite frankly, completely off the mark impression of his sister.

“Did you want either of us to come over, it might help?” Hange wipes their mouth with the back of their hand and gives Eren a reassuring look.

“Nah, it’s fine, it’ll…” He shrugs. “…I’ll think of something.” Armin and Hange both nod and I lace my fingers through Eren’s, still on my knee.

 

We head back to the precinct not long after two o’clock and the wind picks up. I know that I can’t really feel it – the cold – but I shove my hands deeper into my pockets non-the-less. Like my body remembered what the cold felt like, and that shiver of a memory ran through my body. I take my hand out to pull my jacket tighter and feel Eren grab it, shoving my hand into his own pocket. He curls his fingers around mine and runs his thumb in absent minded circles.

The gesture forces me to walk closer and my hand hidden in his jacket means that nothing would look weird to the outside world. Eren smiles down at me and I feel a heat pool in the pit of my stomach. It felt as if there were so many things that hadn’t been said, but silently accepted between us. Like if the words were actually spoken aloud, then it would be like breaking some unwritten rule…

Like crossing a line…a line between reality and…wherever the fuck I was…

I really didn’t want to hurt Eren…

I could already see the cracks appearing throughout his demeanour, every so often the weight on his shoulders became apparent and the thin ice he’d begun to walk on. He acted like everything was okay, but it’s not…

And I knew he was only acting like it was okay, because that’s what I needed…

I needed it to be okay…

We suddenly stop, and I notice we’re just outside the precinct. I look up at Eren and see his eyes staring across the street where Isabelle’s bench sits, still unattended.

“It’s been almost a week…” Eren finally looks at me and the pinch in his eyebrows tells me his concern for the ghost. I look at the bench and think back to the last time we saw her. I had sat with her after I ran off. The eight-year-old girl had sat with _me_ , a thirty-four-year-old dead man who didn’t know how to deal with his emotions and just listened…gave me advice and basically kicked my ass into gear.

She had been a good listener…

 _“I’m sure she’s alright…”_ Eren doesn’t look convinced so I squeeze his hand inside mine. He keeps his voice low whilst we’re on the street.

“Do you think she knows, like…what we’re trying to do, that I’m still trying to help her. I promised right from the start that I’d do something and…w-what if she thinks I’ve forgotten about her?”

 _“Eren…”_ I turn my body to face him and rest my free hand on his chest. _“Isabelle thinks you are one of the most amazing people, ever… trust me, she told me that at least three times whilst we sat on that bench and I wallowed in self-pity. There is no way she thinks you would forget her – stop being so hard on yourself. You’ve done so much, and soon she will know that….”_ Eren’s face breaks into a small smile and he takes our hands out of his pocket.

“Thanks Levi…”

 

(Eren POV)

As soon as I step out of the elevator, a scrunched up piece of paper bounces off of my head…

“Jaegerrrr….” I look around and see Jean walking towards us, a smirk on his face.

“Kirstein…the fuck do you want?” My voice comes out flat but there’s no malice behind it. Jean’s been my partner for about three years now and I haven’t exactly been the most reliable one of recent months, but he hasn’t given me any shit for it, for that I’m grateful.

“Nice lunch?” I catch the file he flings at me and hold back the harsh words now sitting on the tip of my tongue. I don’t answer and make my way over to my desk. “Any, uh…plans this weekend?” I freeze in place and share a quick look with Levi. I raise an eyebrow and turn around to see Jean, looking off awkwardly to the side.

“Do I...have any plans? Why, you go the hots for me all of a sudden, Jean?” His face immediately scrunches up and his chest puffs out.

“Ew! Dude! No, I just…” He shrugs. “I-I don’t know, I just wanted to know if you were doing anything exciting, _seeing_ anyone exciting… _new_? I don’t know…” Jean trails off towards the end and rubs the back of his neck nervously. It was weird behaviour, that was for sure and I didn’t really know what to say.

“…I guess…not…” He nods his head slowly, crossing and uncrossing his arms before taking a step towards me and throwing one over my shoulder, pulling me a little closer.

“It’s just been a long while since we hung out, talked like bros - …” I throw his arm off.

“What are you talking about, we never just _hung out_ and we certainly never ‘talked like bros’...” I wave my hands around in a mocking gesture.

“Sure we did! Back in the day when we’d go to a bar...Your stupid pretty face brought the girls to us and as soon as they found out you were gay, they were forced to talk to me.” Jean gives me that annoying, cocky smirk. “You were a great wingman…and very effective lady bait…”

“Lady bait? Dude…! Besides, aren’t you, like…dating my sister?” He shrugs and walks back over to his desk.

“Well, yeah, but that wasn’t the point, I just thought…you know what - forget it!”

Okay, guess this conversations over…

 _“Lady bait?”_ Levi chuckles and I shut him up with a glare. _“But that was…weird...”_ I shrug before settling back at my desk.

Wasn’t any weirder than every other aspect of my life right now…

“Eren!” I jump in my seat and let out a sigh of frustration – can I just have like five minutes…

“Oh my God! What!?” I spin my chair around and come face to face with a rather sheepish looking Krista. Well now I felt like an asshole… “Shit, sorry Krista, just…”

“Long day? It’s fine Eren, I understand.” Her smile was like frickin’ sunshine and the precinct gets a little bit brighter every time she walks into the building – a polar opposite to her girlfriend. “Are you alright to talk Eren…?” Her spirits seemed high, so my own hopes get up.

“Y-yeah, sure…” Then I follow her out back.

 

“You’ve done a great thing Eren, caring for that boy…” Krista sets the papers back on the desk behind her and rests her hand gently on my arm. “The previous charges certainly helped, but overall, the statement from Miss Brzenska really pushed things along.”

“So what does this mean?” I share a quick look with Levi then back to Krista.

“Well, the most likely scenario from the court outcome will probably be a conviction of a misdemeanor child endangerment charge. Prison time isn’t always in the question but Furlan will definitely be taken away from the parents. The plan at the moment is to have him live with his grandparents.” My head shoots up and Krista gives me a small smile. “They’re good people, Eren. Furlan should be a lot happier living there. Once he’s older, things may change slightly but right now…it was probably the best outcome we could have hoped for.” I take a deep breath and let it out in a sigh.

After all of our efforts, it finally paid off. I wanted to tell Isabelle, I wanted to know that this is what she wanted and what was holding her back.

I needed to know…

“Thank you, Krista… thank you so much…”

“Don’t worry about it, it’s my job after all. Honestly, I was so happy when I found out the lengths you’d gone to help this child. It wasn’t even your case…” Krista stands up from her chair and gingerly squeezes my shoulder. “You’re a good person, Eren. You help people because it’s what comes naturally to you.” I smile at her and then she leaves, having finished with her good news.

 _“Well, finally some good shit…”_ I stand up from my own chair and turn to Levi, lent against the far desk.

“Yeah…” I smile, finding it hard to keep it at bay. “…Yeah, it really is…” My smile must be contagious, because Levi’s grows as well. “Finally, some good shit…”

 

The rest of the day goes by in a blur, I finish filling in the paperwork from earlier that Jean flung at me and I manage to avoid Erwin for the third day in a row. I know I’m eventually gonna have to talk to him, he’s still my boss at the end of the day, but right now, I really didn’t know what to say to him.

When I finally finish my shift, I lead Levi and I down the elevator and back out into the cold air. My eyes immediately run over the bench on the far side of the road, but it was still empty.

Still no Isabelle…

“I don’t understand…” I quickly check there’s nothing coming, then sprint across the road. “I need to talk to her, I need to tell her…”

 _“Eren, I’m sure…”_ Levi rests a hand on my shoulder. _“…in some way, she already knows.”_

We head back to the apartment, the sun fully set and the streetlights showing us the way home. The sky was letting out a light sprinkle of rain, nothing hard enough to get us particularly wet, but prominent enough to get another smile out of Levi…

He liked the rain…I’d noticed…

 _“Is it just me, or has it been a particularly long day?”_ Levi sighs as I hold the building entrance door open and let him inside.

“Is it just me, or has that been my life for the past two months?” I let the door close behind me and shake the excess water from my hair. Levi turns around to scoff at me.

 _“You always gotta one up me, don’t ya…lady bait…”_ He smirks, and I had the right mind to lob something very hard and very painful at him.

“Please don’t let that be a thi - …”

“Eren? My boy, how have you been?” I’m cut off by the sound of Mr Pixis tapping on the mail boxes.

“Pixis, hey, uh…I’ve been good…yo - …”

“I see that your friend is still with us…” Pixis turns his moustache smile onto Levi who nods in return. “Have you moved in, boy?” He chuckles. “Careful, or I might have to start asking you for rent.” And with that the older ghost vanishes. There’s an odd silence to the room and then a large stack of letters falls from the top mailbox. I sigh and walk over to clear it up.

 _“At least I don’t make a mess…”_ I stand up and carefully place the letters into their appropriate slots.

“True…” I finish, then turn back to my ghost and give him a knowing smirk. “Mind you, Pixis might be right, maybe I should start charging you rent…”

 _“And what exactly am I gonna give you Eren? I thought my ‘astral plane money wasn’t gonna fly’, or at least that’s how you put it for poker…?”_ I chuckle and start heading up the stairs. My voice carrying to Levi behind when I answer.

“I’m sure we could think of something…”

We get to the apartment and I flick the lights on, we must have just missed my sister leaving, a scribbled note on the kitchen counter telling me to eat the leftovers in the fridge. I walk over to the machine and check for messages, but for once – nothing. Levi walks to the other end of the room and kneels down onto the floor.

“What are you doing?” I slowly walk up behind him and admire the view from up here, Levi’s arms reaching out underneath the couch. He doesn’t answer my question but makes a small sound of triumph before standing back up. I look down at his hand and see the cigarette box from the other day – I’d forgotten Levi had lobbed it across my apartment. “I forgot about those…”

 _“Yeah, something just…reminded me of it, today…”_ He looks up to me then walks over to my room and chucks them onto my bed. When he turns back around I give him a look and he shrugs. _“What? I don’t want your sister finding them, she’ll probably throw them out!”_ I roll my eyes and start to turn back around towards the kitchen, but then I freeze…

The air was colder than before and I could feel a slight unease settle in the pit of my stomach…

“Eren?” The voice that travels through the newly cooled atmosphere wasn’t Levi’s. It was a high, gentle and sheepish sound. I spin around and see Isabelle stood in the centre of my apartment, pigtails high and her eyes sparkling in the low light of the evening.

“Isabelle? W-what are you doing here?” I take a step forward and see her smile. I was shocked to say the least at seeing her here – seeing her anywhere but that bench…

“I’m here to thank you, Eren…” She smiles, genuine happiness highlighting her youthful face, but then it fades…and she looks sad. “…and to say goodbye…”

Goodbye?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr - jovialjellyfishreaper  
> <33


	15. A Thousand Goodbyes For One Hello

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy CRap, How longs it been? I don't know, A little over a month - eh? - I'm so sorry XD  
> Life's been hectic and I just started my last year of college and I'm supposed to be writing my dissertation, not sweet sweet Ereri content - but here I am!!!  
> I slowly wrote this over the passed month whenever I had time and so I hope it came together alright and it's a little shorter than I'd usually like a chapter but HOPE YOU ENJOY!!! <3 <3 <3 
> 
> (Sorry for any mistakes - I uploaded this frantically cause I really wanted to get you guys something soon)

“Goodbye…?” I take a step forward and see the solid frame of Isabelle’s body deflate gently at my question. She nods her head.

“Four weeks ago, Eren, I was alone…and scared, and I didn’t know what I was going to do. I was stuck, trapped somewhere I couldn’t escape, just because someone else wasn’t looking where they were going.” Isabelle looks down, her voice is low, sadness slipping in from reliving the past. “I didn’t understand, and I felt like there was so much that was left behind that I…that I couldn’t...” She shrugs, struggling with her words, then looks up and smiles, her eyes shining in the low lighting of my apartment. “But then I met you, Eren…”

“Izzy…” My own voice is quiet, and I can’t control it when it cracks saying her name. I still didn’t understand how she was here, what was happening.

“You promised you would help me…you didn’t have to.” She shrugs again. “I was just some lost eight year old girl on a bench…scared, you didn’t have to sit with me, but you did! I didn’t know why I was there, why I didn’t just disappear like I should have. It was like something nagged at the corners of my mind…” Isabelle looks older all of a sudden, her shoulders squared, and fists clenched. “But I know now, I couldn’t leave my brother…I couldn’t leave him all alone in that hell hole!” Tears start streaking down her cheeks and I take another step forward. I think about reaching out, but then stop, not sure whether I would be able to touch her or not.

“Your brother won’t be left alone now Isabelle, we’ve made sure of it…” Her eyes look up and stare right into mine.

“I know…my brother is going to be okay now, I-I can feel it…” She raises a hand and holds it against her chest. “…My brother will be happier, even without me there…” Then she smiles again, and I can feel my own composure breaking more and more by the minute. “And it’s all thanks to you, Eren…Thank you! Thank you so much! You helped me, just like you promised…” Before I have a chance to process her words, Isabelle flings herself forward, wrapping her skinny arms around my torso, latching on like her life depended on it.

I stand there, frozen, in shock. For the past few weeks I hadn’t seen Isabelle’s ghost touch anything except that bench. She possessed so little energy that standing alone wore her manifestation down to nothing. But now, here she is, her body as solid as my own, her little fingers digging into the back of my jacket. I still haven’t moved, my own arms held up at my sides, looking down at the young girl still crying in front of me. I momentarily come out of it and look over to Levi. His eyes are slightly wider than usual and he’s looking at Isabelle, a sad look in his eyes, but a soft smile on his lips.

He looks up after a second, noticing my attention on him. I don’t know what my expression says but he immediately takes a step forward and runs his hand gingerly down my right arm, easing it around Isabelle before he runs his hand affectionately through her hair. I take my other arm and wrap them both around the ghost.

She felt so real…

Quiet murmurs of ‘thank you’s are muffled against my shirt, her fingers only just starting to loosen, and I can feel her weight get ever so slightly lighter. Levi doesn’t move from our side and Isabelle looks up, then she’s suddenly wrapping her arms wound Levi. It takes him by surprise and I quickly put a hand on his lower back to keep him steady.

“Thank you both, I’m gonna miss you so, so m-much….!” I can feel the cool air drop again and this time it sends a sharp shiver down to the base of my spine. It makes my breath catch in my throat and Isabelle takes a step back, her smile still there. But it was the epitome of ambivalence…

Happy? Sad? Relieved?

This is what we wanted, right?

…this is what we want…

“I’m going to miss you both…” She takes another step back and I see her body start to shimmer, the furniture on the other side of the apartment flickering into view, then disappearing behind her. It was like in her last few minutes, she was allowed this moment. To be one with the living again – to feel, to touch, to escape – just to say goodbye.

“You’re welcome…” I realise that I hadn’t even replied to her ‘thank you’s, to tell her how helping her was all I wanted. “We’re gonna miss you too…” I smile, but I can still feel the rush of my pulse and the sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach.

I hated goodbyes…

She smiles once again at my words and she walks backwards, almost as if she had been told she only had so much time, and now she’s getting ready to go.

“Good luck with everything, Eren…” Then she turns to Levi, still by my side. “I really hope you find out what’s got you stuck here, Levi…and I hope it all works out, because we all deserve to rest.” I can feel my jaw clench at her words, my heartbeat pounding in my ears. “Oh!” She beams a smile, one that had a habit of lighting the whole street at night when she was left on that bench. “I wanted _you_ to keep it!” I frown in confusion.

“Keep wha - …”

“Goodbye, Eren, Levi….!!!” She waves…

And then she’s gone….

 _“Bye Izzy…”_ Levi’s voice is dead quiet in the now silent apartment and I stare at the spot which held her wonky pigtails just seconds ago. _“Eren…?”_ I take a deep breath and let it out in a shaky sigh. I didn’t notice the tears that had escaped until they start to curve down under my jaw. I frantically wipe them away and run a hand through my hair.

“Is this gonna be it now…?” I look down at Levi and see his eyebrows pinch in confusion and I clarify. “…My life, is this gonna be my life now, just this constant stream of goodbyes?” My voice is still low. Any other time I have no doubt my temper would have flared up from frustration, but I didn’t have the energy right now.

 _“Eren…”_ Levi says my name so softly that it momentarily turns my churning stomach into butterflies.

“No…” I close my eyes, feeling more tears escape, and I frantically wipe them away again. “…no, Levi…I can’t _do this_ …” I can hear my voice start to crack on the last word. “I didn’t ask f-for any of this…” Levi moves around so that he’s stood in front of me and I reluctantly look up, my eyes instantly falling to his.

 _“I know, Eren.”_ He runs his fingers along the inside of the curve of my jaw, then wipes away the last tears with his thumb. The weight of what just happened sits between us.

One minute she was there, and then she wasn’t…

No more Isabelle…

But that’s what we wanted…

 _“But, she’s happy now…you did exactly what you promised, and you helped her move on.”_ Levi’s fingers stop moving and I can feel the small sparks of energy that keep him grounded to me. _“It may have been a goodbye, yeah, it was bittersweet…just like most of them are throughout our lives. But if a goodbye really means anything at all, it’s got to hurt…”_ His voice lowers. _“…at least a little. It’s what makes the time you spent together worth it…”_

I have to take another wobbly breath and I focus hard on the spot just over Levi’s shoulder…

…It’s what we wanted…

I’m about to say something to Levi, something to reassure him and let him know that I’m okay…

I’m not okay…

But something catches my eye and I take a slow step around him, squatting down to have a better look. There was something left on the floor where Isabelle had disappeared. I reach out and my fingers curl around a small stuffed toy. It felt real, it’s fur was soft in places but had been made hard in others by the rain. It had obviously been a brilliant white once upon a time, but now streaks of dirt have turned it a muddy off white colour.

But you can tell it had been loved for a long time…

I pick it up and stand, turning to Levi as I do. He looks at the small white rabbit and he frowns…

 _“She wanted you to have it…”_ He looks up at me and I run my finger over its fraying nose.

“I don’t understand…why…w-why is it here, what…?”

 _“It was her anchor…”_ Levi says it like it was obvious, but his tone is still soft, and when I look up he smiles at me. _“And she wanted you to keep it…”_ I look back down to the toy and my mind plays back to the plethora of flowers and stuffed toys adorning the corner of Isabelle’s bench since the day we met. I assumed they were left by family and friends. It would explain why she was stuck there.

I vaguely recall seeing a similar shaped toy inside the top of a bunch of bright orange petals…kept safe, hidden from the world whilst Isabelle was living between them…

It must have been her favourite, a toy that she took everywhere in a life before, a toy that made her feel safe – she loved it – and now she’s given it to me… And now it’s all I have left of her, because that’s how this works…

People are gonna come and go from this world, each one leaving me as they do, and every time I’ll be left with nothing more than a passing token…One moment they’ll be stood there, as real as ever, then they’ll be gone, and all that’ll be left behind is a small ragged rabbit, sat with his ears curled down and legs spread out at odd angles.

It was like a magic trick…

Blink, and they’re replaced with a bunny…and the only magic word you need is ‘Goodbye’…

I can feel Levi’s badge tucked into my back pocket and I quickly push away the images that come to the surface - the glint of gold, tough leather…and nothing more…

 _“Eren, say something…”_ The concern in Levi’s voice brings me back to the present and I bring the toy down by my side, giving the space behind me one last glance.

“I’m okay…” And in a way, I did feel a bit better, the solid object in my hand making everything that I did seem more real. I helped Isabelle like I had promised, and everything worked out.

So why was there this hollow feeling left behind, a feeling I could feel building, like I was going to collapse under it…

 

(Levi POV)

 _“Eren?”_ I follow him into the bedroom and watch as he places the rabbit on the side table and methodically starts to remove his shirt. He was on autopilot, and those cracks I noticed before…

They were falling apart…

 _“Eren, talk to me…!”_ I walk further into the room and walk around the bed. I watch as his eyes rake over mine, they were colder and a little wider than normal. Saying goodbye is never supposed to be easy, but even I could understand how this was different. Eren has been dealt a hand that no one person should have to shoulder, no one should have to deal with loss after loss.

It was fair in a way, he deserved a meltdown around about now…

“You know what’s funny?” Eren’s tone didn’t sound remotely amused. “When I was younger, all people ever did was leave...first my mum then my father. It was like holding onto someone became this impossible task. My sister was my rock for years and I totally took _that_ for granted…!” He’d started pacing around the room, his hand running through his hair, making it stand up at odd angles. “And n-now…now every single person I meet daily on the street is a god damn ticking time bomb, just waiting for me to get attached just so….!”

 _“EREN!”_ I take the last few steps between us and gingerly place my hands on his shoulders. My touch seems to bring Eren out of it for a moment and he looks at me _. “Eren, I know this isn’t easy but you need to calm down.”_ Then the moment seems to pass and he shrugs my hands off, taking an abrupt step back.

“No, Levi! Y-you don’t know! You don’t understand…” I can see his eyes starting to glass over and he points a finger into the middle of his chest. “… _I’m_ the one who gets left behind _, I’m_ the one who has to carry on after they go…” His voice lowers to nothing. “…after you go…how am I supposed to do that?”

I don’t know what to say, I’m not even sure there’s anything I _can_ say. I didn’t have any answers and I had the same empty feeling in the pit of my stomach that I could tell resided in Eren’s when the topic came up.

“It’s all so ridiculous…!! A mistake!! What the hell am I supposed to do!?”

The cracks turned into chasms…

 _“A mistake?”_ I felt my words drop into my stomach. _“I…I get that it’s not…ideal…”_

“Ideal!? No shit, Levi! None of this is ideal!”

_“Yeah, I get it, Eren…”_

“Will you stop saying that!?” Eren rakes both his hands through his already messed up hair then takes my badge out of his back pocket. “This is all that will be left, Levi…this and…and…” Eren throws his arms up, letting the sentence fade away in frustration. “It would have just been so much easier i-if, if - …”

 _“If what!?”_ I take a step forward and throw my own arms out, my eyes catching the glint off my badge clutched in Eren’s grasp. _“If you hadn’t fallen into a coma, if you hadn’t woken up with some freaky ass Oda Mae Brown powers...? If you hadn’t met me!?”_ I let the last question hang in the air between us and I see Eren’s shoulders sink. I didn’t want to yell but I was angry – angry at the situation – at the raw ass deal we had been given and I was sick of being yelled at over circumstances I couldn’t control. But I wasn’t angry at Eren…

I was just…scared…

“No…I didn’t…” Eren sits down at the end of the bed and shrinks away at my anger.

 _“Yeah, Eren, you did…but you know what…!?”_ I was still yelling, because it felt a hell of a lot better than slowly disappearing behind the fear of the inevitable. _“…you’re probably right, it would have been soooo much easier if none of this bullshit had happened. And yeah it’s not fair, but neither is being murdered…”_ I give him a pointed look, losing some of my initial steam. _“…so I’m sorry to have inconvenienced you!”_

As soon as the words leave my mouth, I sense something fly past my face, hitting the back wall with an empty thud. I look down and see my badge lying dead still on the carpet, then I look up and see Eren’s face. His eyes were glassy again and his jaw clenched along with his fists.

“You know that’s not what I meant…” He was trying hard to keep his tone level and he never lets his eyes stray from mine.

 _“Well that’s kind of what it sounded like, and it’s true…”_ I let out a humourless laugh. _“Heck, if I could go back in time and save you this…”_ I wave my hands around _. “…trouble, God, Eren, I would…”_

“NO!” I stop talking, surprised by the rise in Eren’s voice and the conviction in his eyes. “No...don’t even _start_ to think that that’s what I want!!! Don’t you _dare_ think…” He stands up. “…that for a _second_ I would want to change any of this. If I had to go through all of that shit again, the car accident, the stress, the DEAD… God, Levi, I’d relive it all twice over if it meant I would have still met you…!” Eren takes a step towards me and I feel the sinking feeling in my stomach turn to a warm burst in my chest when his voice turns softer. “I would go through a thousand goodbyes if it meant I could have that one hello with you.” By the time he finishes talking he’s stood directly in front of me.

Eren looks down at the badge on the floor by our feet, then looks up and he lets out a small chuckle, a smile finally getting rid of the tension between us.

 _“Eren…I…”_ I can feel the heat coming off him in front of me, my eyes travelling down his chest, avoiding eye contact whilst I try hard to keep my face blank. I close my eyes, finding it hard to not breakdown. _“That was really fucking cheesy, you know that right…?”_ I try hard to break the tension. His hands come up to rest on either side of my face, his thumbs gently tracing up along the top of my cheek bones as he chuckles at my comment.

“I’m sorry I freaked out…again.” Eren leans forward and I feel his forehead touch mine. “But, it was just…seeing Isabelle disappear like that.” He sighs and I feel his breath fan across my lips. “It just reminded me of how real this all is, how little control I have over anything that’s happening here…but that doesn’t mean I regret any of it, I was just…talkin’ shit…” I let out a quiet laugh at Eren’s words and open my eyes properly, looking up into his. I shake my head and look down.

 _“You think too much of me, Eren…”_ His fingers slide under my chin, forcing me to look at him once again, our noses brushing against one another’s as I search his turquoise eyes.   

“You have…no idea, what I think about you, Levi.” I didn’t, but I had a pretty good idea. Eren’s voice drops even lower. “I wouldn’t trade these past few weeks for anything…even the less than ideal parts, the fighting, the breakdowns…quoting 1990 five-time academy award nominated classics…every second has led to this…to you.” He smiles and it’s like the fucking room smiles with him. “Levi, I lo - ….”

 _“No!”_ I cut him off, slamming my hand over Eren’s mouth before the words can fall out. I shake my head, pleading silently with my eyes into Eren’s. _“Don’t…”_ Eren’s eyes look down and I can see the hurt in them, which hurt more than being shot – or however it was that I died. I remove my hand ever so slightly and hear his breath hitch as I do.

“Sorry…” The hurt had gone from his eyes but had seeped into his voice. Eren takes a step back, his hands dropping to his sides.

 _“No, Eren, it’s not….”_ I run a hand down my face and blink fast to shoo away the stupid fucking stinging behind my eyes. I had never been one to get like this, I never showed how I really felt before, but this kid had broken me. _“…it’s not because I don’t feel…”_ I feel frustration run through my body. _“…that! I just...as soon as it’s said out loud Eren, that’s it!”_ I look down to the floor, my badge still in the same spot. _“And that’ll just make it harder.”_ My voice was quiet and I pinch the bridge of my nose.

“Okay…” I look back up and Eren nods, his eyes boring into mine and I can still feel the stinging making my thoughts scrambled. “We won’t say it…” He takes a step forward, closing the space we had just made. “…but that doesn’t change how I feel…” His fingers cup the side of my face once again, tilting it up so that my nose brushes his. “…or how you feel…” My resolve was crumbling and that was it…

I close my eyes and feel Eren’s lips brush mine, it was fleeting, light and sent all of my senses into overdrive. He leans away just enough to search my eyes and I reach up to run my hand along his jaw, then up into his hair to pull him back. As soon as our lips meet again Eren angles himself, fitting against my body as he leads me backwards. I kick the badge out of the way as we go and feel a solid surface lock me between the wall and Eren.

I run my free hand down Eren’s chest and grip my other into his hair. I can feel his lips smile against mine and I waste no time biting his bottom lip to wipe the smirk off his face. Almost as if in an attempt to fight back, Eren deepens the kiss, his tongue fighting to get through and I don’t take long to oblige. The height difference allowing him to take lead, his hands going down to rest on my hips, pushing me against the wall a little bit more.

“You know…” Eren breaks away from me for a second, his sentence broken by our lips locking back together. “…it’s way better…” His hand trails up from my hip and runs over the flat plains of my stomach. “…than…the million times I imagined it.” I feel him smile again and I raise my chin up, away from his lips to reply. Although, instead of patiently waiting for me to go on, Eren lowers his lips to my neck, running his tongue over a sensitive spot, making my voice waver at the beginning.

 _“A million times…huh…? Where…”_ I internally cringe at the second hitch in my voice when Eren’s thigh slides in-between mine. _“…the hell…did you find the time?”_ The teasing lilt in my voice makes Eren chuckle and he kisses up along my jaw, stopping just short of my lips once again. He shrugs.

“You’d be surprised…” He smiles, and I raise an eyebrow at the suggestive undertone. As I smile back, Eren closes the distance between us again and I felt so fucking happy.

 

The next morning -

(Eren POV)

 _“Just shut up and eat your cereal, Eren…”_ I smile and shove another spoon full of cornflakes into my mouth. We’re sat at the kitchen counter, I’m hunched over my bowl whilst Levi sits beside me, facing the other way, neither of his feet quite touching the floor – which was kind of adorable.

“I’m just saying…” I drop my spoon into my bowl and twirl my stool to look at him. “…you never hear about ghosts from the noughties scaring the shit out of people, they’re always, like, little girls from the 19th century or some shit. Why is that?” Levi shrugs and runs elegant fingers through his hair.

 _“Maybe, I don’t know, because most ghost sightings are actual bullshit and the real ghosts go blissfully ignored to lead unexciting lives in their 21 st century fashion…”_ He looks over at me and raises an eyebrow. _“…but that’s just me spit ballin’ here, Eren….now eat your cereal.”_   I do as he says but roll my eyes.

“You’re such a buzzkill…” Although he was probably right…

“Eren?” I look up to see Mikasa throw her bag onto the counter beside the empty milk carton. She looks like she’s about to say something when she notices the carton and picks it up, looking at me like a small child. “Eren, how many times have I said to throw the milk carton in the recycling when you finish it?” I go back to my cereal, making the muffled noise equivalent of ‘I don’t know’, then precede to talk with my mouth full.

“Screws fall out all the time, the worlds an imperfect place…” I shrug and shove more cereal into my mouth.

“Don’t think quoting your silly 80s movies at me will get you out of everything.” Mikasa points a finger at me and takes the carton around the corner to the recycling bin.

 _“So you use outdated movie quotes to get out of shit with everyone?”_ I spin slightly in my seat again to give Levi a guilty look.

“Yeah, but…” I hold a hand to my chest, swallowing. “What we have is special.” Levi doesn’t look convinced, but I can see the affection in his eyes. I spin back the other way and see my sister coming back around the corner. “And ‘The Breakfast Club’ is not a ‘silly’ movie, Mika! It’s a classic!” She rolls her eyes and gets a mug out to make some coffee.

“Whatever…”

“You need to be educated on the matter, Mika…a movie night is upon us…” Even though I know she’s exasperated by my comment, I can see her smile. “Speaking of being uneducated…”

“Don’t say it, Eren…”

“Your boyfriend was sure acting weird yesterday?” I raise my eyebrows and shove my bowl away. I see Levi perk up at the change in topic and spin around to listen in.

“You don’t have to be cruel Eren, Jean is your friend as well…”

“Jean’s my partner, on some rare, seasonal occasions when he’s not acting like an ass, do I see him as a friend…? Yes, yes I do…but he _was_ being weird, Mika? Explain…” She sighs but turns to fill up her mug.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Like hell you don’t! He was asking if I wanted to go out for drinks and catch up, talk like bros – the fucks up with that? I don’t think I’ve ever talked like a bro in my entire life.”

“But you guys used to go out all the time when you first started at the precinct.”

“Yeah, because Jean wanted to use me for my pretty face…”

 _“Lady bait…”_ I frown at Levi’s comment but point in his direction.

“Exactly!”

“What?”

“N-nothing, just…” A new thought jumps into my head after Mikasa’s words. “Was it you?” I see my sister’s face tighten ever so slightly. “It was! What the hell Mika, you want me to like, bond with your boyfriend or something.” I throw my hands up and shake my head. “Look, I get that he’s gonna be around a lot more but I’m not gonna force this awkward, cringy bro relationship with him because of it.”

“That’s not…” Mika sighs and takes a deep breath. “…I asked Jean to see if you would open up to him about anything.” I frown, confused by the entire premise. 

“What, why!? Like what?”

“Just, anything that’s new, o-or different in your life…” I keep frowning and notice my sister’s face fall slightly. “You just don’t seem to want to talk to me about that kind of stuff anymore.”

Oh…

“Mika…” My stomach drops when I start to understand – my sister sent her socially awkward boyfriend to buddy buddy information out of me about my personal life because she thinks I didn’t want to talk or share with her anymore.

“I get it, Eren. We’ve grown apart, you have your life, I have mine. I’m the naggy big sister who gives you disapproving looks and berates you, a-and I understand that you’ve had a lot going on lately…I just wanted to know about…anything…” Mikasa shrugs, her sentences becoming fragmented and losing any real conclusion. “It’s fine…

“No, Mika, it’s not fine…” I felt guilty. “…you feel like I’m cutting you out of my life, and that’s not what I’ve been doing at all, at least…that’s not what I’ve wanted – not for a second!” Her face lights up a bit more and I lean forward across the counter. “It’s just been difficult and complicated, I haven’t really had…a lot of people to talk to about it with – for reasons – but that doesn’t mean I _don’t_ want to talk to you about it. Mikasa you are so important to me, you’re my family, and don’t think for a second that I would even begin to cut you out.” She smiles.

“Okay…thanks, Eren…” I sit back in my seat and take a deep breath, setting my hands down on the cold surface top in front of me. “Soooo, do you think you would want to…?” She does a weird little dance with her coffee still in her hand. I raise an eyebrow.

“Do I…wanna dance?”

“No, Eren! Talk, you know…about stuff…” Her voice almost takes on a whiney tone at the end, which rarely comes out of my sister’s mouth.

 _“Stuff?”_ Levi says it in a very suggestive tone and I crinkle my nose up at the implication.

“Stuff?”

“Yeah…you know, boys…” Ohhhh, boys… “You just seem so…” She looks wistfully at her mug. “It’s like your in lo - …”

“WHOA-kay!” She looks over at me and I scratch the back of my head. “I get the gist Mika…”

“I’m sorry Eren, but I’ve seen it for a while and I wanted to ask about it, and we kind of started to cover it but you always got so…funny when I brought it up.” I can feel a blush starting to creep up from the bottom of my neck and I try hard not to look over at Levi. “You won’t have bro talk with Jean, but maybe we could have some girl talk?” I make a face and run a hand through my hair.

“Doesn’t anyone just have, you know, like, people talk – why does everything have to have a gendered undertone?”

“Fine, Eren, then can we just talk?” The wistfulness was gone from Mikasa’s face and she rests a hand on her hip. Before I can answer, her phone begins to ring obnoxiously loud in her back pocket, leading to my sister swiftly dismissing herself from the room with a soft… “Work…”

 _“So…your sister wants to talk…”_ I nod my head. _“Sounds nice…sharing… catch her up on the paranormal, highly illegal riddled life that has been thrust upon you…”_ I give Levi an unimpressed look and groan into my hands.

“I mean…” I shrug. “Maybe I should just tell her everything, you know…Armin was alright…”

 _“Armin is a highly intelligent, open minded realist with an overly understanding yet critical temperament…”_ Levi pauses as if to imply the second part of his sentence.

“And…?”

_“I don’t know about you, Eren…but your sister seems like she could kind of go either way…”_

“Those ways being - …?”

_“She’ll either embrace the pseudoscience phenomenon that has wormed his way into her precious brother’s life…or she’ll wrap you up in proverbial bubble wrap and start shoving meds down your throat.”_

“Okay, point taken.” And he was probably right. If my sister could be anything, it was unpredictable.  “Well, I’ve gotta tell her something if we need her help. I can’t just be like ‘hey, sis, do you think you could find these really specific files for this guy that died five years ago under very suspicious circumstances… Levi…? Yeah, we did talk about me knowing a guy by that name… The same guy? No that’s crazy, this guys dead…Illegal activity? Are you kidding, this is totally standard protocol...”

 _“Okay, Eren, I get it…so what are you gonna say?”_ I sigh, because hell if I knew.

“Maybe I could just…” I gesture my hands wildly in the air around me before settling with a confident… “…I dunno…”

 _“Great…”_ I spin in my chair again and lean my elbow on the counter to steady myself whilst scowling in Levi’s direction.

“Sass ain’t gonna get us anywhere Patrick Swayze…”

 _“Neither will your 1990 critically acclaimed film references…”_ I stick out my bottom lip and pretend to pout.

“You love our little ‘Ghost’ bits and you know it…” Levi rolls his eyes and I lean forward to receive a quick kiss. As Levi leans forward to meet me half way, I smile - I really did love this new addition to our…arrangement. When I pull away I take a moment to take in his beautiful dark blue eyes which were currently looking at me with a unique mixture of affection and jadedness.

“What are you smiling at…?” I jump a little in my seat at my sister’s voice, I hadn’t even heard her come back in the room. “See, that’s the look I was talking about…” She makes her way back around the counter in front of me. “…like you’re in lo - …”

“Mikasa!” I sigh and run a hand through my hair – it probably looks like a frickin bush tail around about now. “…Don’t…its…we can’t say it…okay?” I give her a serious look and she frowns.

“What do you mean…? You and…who, can’t say…?”

“The ‘L’ word, yeah…and it’s…complicated.” My sister raises her eyebrows and taps her delicate fingers on the counter top.

“Sounds it…” There’s an awkward lull in the room and I clear my throat, deciding that it was time to move on from this – time for business.

“Mikasa, I need a favour…” I blurt it out, making sure that I can’t slowly talk myself out of it in my head.

“What kind of favour?”

“Like a…my sister is a nurse and can get her hands on information and files of which I am unable to…that kind of favour.” I take in her expression and decide that it was safe to go on. “It’s for a case, a big one…it’s really important Mika, and you have no idea how much you’ll be helping if you just - …”

“Hold on, Eren, just… what kind of files and info are we talking? Is it about a patient?” I nod my head. “Eren you know I can’t give you information on patients, it goes again all hospital policies…”

“I know, I know, Mika! But, it’s so much bigger than that, it’s…” I try and wrap my head around something that will spin this around.

 _“Tell her it’s about a dead patient, the rules are different for the deceased after a period of time, information, in some circumstances, can even become public – the bigger obstacle will be if my file is even gonna exist anymore.”_ I nod my head at Levi’s advice and take a deep breath.

“What about information for the deceased?” My sister frowns and seems to consider it for a moment.

“It depends, how long are we talking?”

“Five years?” Mikasa’s expression turns to one of swift shock then curiosity.

“Well, I guess I can have a look…”

“Yes! Oh my God, thank you so much Mika, you have no idea what this means to me!” I lean forward and grab her hand, squeezing it in my own.

“Yeah, well… you better let me know what it is I’m looking for because I’ve got to go in the minute.”

“Right, yes! Of course!” I grab a piece of paper and start scribbling the info of Levi’s file down: dates, names, ect…

 _“Do you think it’s okay for her to go by herself?”_ I sneak Levi a questioning look. _“It’s just, I get that she works there and it’s her turf, but…I feel like one of us should be there to make sure that if anything weird happens or in case she misses something…”_ I stop my scribbling and lower my voice to a non-existent whisper.

“I can’t go with her, it’ll be totally off limits to anyone without scrubs on…especially since I’m a cop.”

_“Well then…what about me?”_

“And how the hell would that work?!” I quickly check Mikasa hasn’t noticed the quiet argument with myself. “My sister doesn’t even know you exist, I’d have to sneak the badge into her back pocket or something…” Levi gives a nonchalant shrug.

_“Tell her it’s good luck or some shit…”_

“Seriously?”

 _“Well I don’t know…! It’s either that, or…”_ I swiftly cut Levi off and spin around in my chair, putting my pen down with more vigour than necessary.

“Mikasa?” My sister looks up from her phone and sets her coffee mug back down.

 _“Eren, what are you doing?”_ I can hear a touch of concern and trepidation in Levi’s voice, but I choose to ignore it.

“Yeah?”  

“What would you say if I told you that you’ve been living with a ghost for the past three-ish weeks due to me having gained supernatural, sixth sense abilities after waking up from my unfortune timed car accident?” There’s silence after I finish talking and I just wait for my sister to say anything. She lets out a short laugh, a tension breaking puff of air.

“You’re…you’re kidding…” I make sure to keep my face completely serious.

“That depends, if I said no would you start wrapping me up in proverbial bubble wrap and shove meds down my throat…?”

…

…

…

..

.

My sister finally shakes her head slowly, and I smile…

“Then no, I’m not kidding…”

 


	16. Seven Months

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mikasa reacts to Eren's untimely confession...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And she's back again...crawling out of that dark hole and into the ereri light!!!  
> Sorry once again for the long wait but it's so hard to find time to write amongst college, but I reaaaaally wanted to get more chapters to you guys. My present to you!!!  
> So for anyone who's out there that's still reading this I THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart, SO much LOVe and I really hope you enjoy the new chapter!!!!  
> I actually found Mikasa to be the hardest reaction to write so far so I really hope it seems some what believable and in character... also the first ever Mikasa POV so...yeah XD
> 
> HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!!!  
> <33333

(Eren POV)

Okay, so…I admit that was a little impulsive, but I was sick of beating around this proverbial bush…

“Mikasa, I understand that this is a bit of a…whoa, what are you doing?” My sister comes shuffling around to our side of the counter and places an elegant hand on my forehead. I turn my attention to Levi and see him with his head against the counter top.

Okay…maybe I should have beaten around the bush a little…

“I don’t understand, Eren, is this supposed to be some kind of test?” She removes her hand.

“A test!? I just told you I can see dead people and you think I’m testing you on your, what…your loyalty?” She takes a step back and I take in her eerily calm expression. “For god’s sake Mikasa, if I were crazy, would you still love me?” My tone comes out condescending but I couldn’t help how displeased I was with her initial response.

“No, Eren…I just…”

“You wouldn’t love me!?” I was just joking, and I put a hand to my heart to show as much.

 _“Come on Eren, you’re just making this harder for her…”_ I take a quick glance at Levi and sigh. I know he’s right, I was trying to lighten the mood even though I knew Mikasa was too confused to appreciate my approach.

“Eren, I’m just confused…” She takes a quick look at her watch and bites her bottom lip. “…you’re actually serious? You must be joking…”

“Nope…!” I stand abruptly and gesture my hands out in a dismissive manner. “No more jokes, complete seriousness…” I take a deep breath and try from the beginning, my voice calm and to the point. “Mikasa, I’m so sorry for what I’ve put you through recently and I know this sounds… _absolutely crazy_ , and I’m sorry for my initial approach.”

“Eren, please tell me you’re just messing with me because I don’t think I can handle it if something else is wrong…I almost lost you once, I can’t - …”

“No, Mika!” I stop her from rambling on and make sure to clear a few things up. “Nothing’s wrong…well, nothing’s wrong with me…” I pause for a moment and have an unwelcomed subdue of self-reflection. “…okay, so… I’ve been better, _but_ …” I dismiss that. “…Mikasa, since I woke up from that coma, I’ve seen people everywhere, people who aren’t with us anymore... I can see Mr Pixis down stairs, going to the hospital was horrible…I’m not joking Mika…” I carefully watch my sister’s face to see how the information’s going in.

She’s gonna be late for work…damn it Eren, need to work on your timing…

I notice Levi get up from his stool and he walks around to stand beside me. My sister takes another step back and leans her back against the counter – part of me is worried her legs might give way.

“Please say something Mika…”

“…I…” She sighs and runs a hand down her face. “I’m not really sure what you want me to say…m-maybe we should have a few - …”

“Don’t say tests!!” I hold a finger out in front of me and my voice gets an edge of panic. Part of my brain was convinced my sister would just believe, blind confidence in her brother’s stable mentality. The other part of my brain knew that was a bit of a stretch. “I’m not sick, I’m not _faking_ anything…I just need your help.”

“Well if you’re not sick Eren then why would you need my help…months you claim to have b-been…been seeing dead people.” She says it like it was still a joke. “How the hell did you think I’d react, Eren!?” I wasn’t overly sure where the anger was coming from but I decided to just go with it.

“Well, I guess…I know it’s kind of…”

“A joke?”

“NO! Not…” I sigh again. “…not a joke…it’s unbelievable, I get that, heck – when I first woke up I just assumed I was either dead or had some kind of horrendous brain injury…but it’s real Mika!” She’s quiet for a moment and I start to think I’m getting through to her. She looks down at her watch again but makes no effort to leave.

“So…all this time…you’ve been dealing with this…” She still didn’t sound convinced, but it was something. “…have you told anyone else about your…condition, Eren?” I nod.

“Uh…Hange knows…”

“Your therapist?” She says it like it was a stupid thing to say, like I had just made _her_ point, but I quickly make sure to get rid of the notion that I was crazy. ..again.

“Yeah, Mika, my therapist…but they know it’s not just in my head, Hange understands and can see…”

“The dead people?”

“Will you stop saying it like that, Jesus…!! No, they can’t, but…but, Levi…” I stumble at Levi’s name because it was too early to go there.

“Levi? So, this comes back to him, again…can Levi see dead people?” Her tone was getting more and more snippy and I felt as if any progress was just going out the four-story window. I decide to ignore the question and carry on answering the first.

“Also, Armin knows…”

“Armin knows, and he didn’t tell me you were like this!?” I take another breath…God give me strength.

“No, he didn’t! Firstly, because it wasn’t his place, and secondly… because, God damn it Mika…would you seriously have believed it anymore coming from him than me!?” She shakes her head and I can see her eyes getting watery. I really didn’t want this to get in-between us. I wanted my sister to be there to help me, I wanted her support and I needed her…I needed her to get me through this and to pick me up after all of it was over.

“Mika…” My voice is quiet and my mind scrambles to think of how to steer the conversation back in my favour.

“You said there’s been a ghost living with us for three weeks, wouldn’t I have noticed Eren?” It was a serious question and – I’ll give it to her – a totally logical one.

“Well, too an extent I guess you probably have, it’s just that you’d only really see it if you were looking for it.” She frowns and looks down. “Remember when we uh…” I smile at the memory, feels like a life time ago. “When we did the Ouija board the other week and we spoke to Patrick?” I glance at Levi and he smiles, which fills me a with sense of ease to go on. Mikasa nods at the memory and looks up into my eyes. “That was Levi…”

“What…?” She stands up straighter and I can tell that her head is going back to that evening, remembering the ease of the game and the honestly of the answers. “W-why…I don’t get it, this Levi…he’s…he’s dead?” There’s a silence, time for it to settle in. “…why Patrick…?”

“Oh, well…” I shrug. “He was trying to be funny.”

 _“Trying to be funny?”_ I smile at Levi’s comment.

“Eren…” Mikasa’s voice has gone quiet and there’s a sad expression on her face. “Okay, so…let me get this straight…for about three weeks we’ve had this…Levi, living with us? You’ve gotten close to this ghost, yes?” I nod my head slowly and see that she wants to say something else but the change in her posture suggests she changes her mind. “Is Levi still here?” I was waiting for that question and run a hand through my hair.

“Yeah, he is still here…with me…and he will be until I figure out how to send him away…” The words tasted sour, but I needed to get Mikasa to understand where I stood in this mess.

“Send him away?”

“Y-yeah…” I look down and get a hollow feeling in my chest…it felt so much more real when I had to discuss it out loud. My sister must sense my unease and takes a step towards me, resting a hand on my shoulder. The fact that she was still willing to be there for me meant the world.

“Eren…?” I clear my throat and go on.

“No, I, uh…I’m fine. Yeah, ghosts appear to get stuck in this weird in-between realm when they have unfinished business…so to speak…like - …”

“Like in ‘Ghost’?” My sister’s voice is a bit more chipper than before and I can’t tell whether she’s just humouring me or not – but the comment makes my heart swell all the same. I can feel my breaths getting heavier and my eyes sting at the casual way my two worlds were coming together.

“Yeah…” My voice cracks ever so slightly and I have to clear it again. “…Like in ‘Ghost’… So, um…so the files I asked from you, they’re Levi’s…something bad happened to him which we need to figure out, so he can, uh…so - …”

“So he can move on?” I nod my head and find my sister’s expression void of its initial doubt and filled with…sympathy? Pity? …Oh god I hope not. “Eren…” She sighs. “Of course, I’ll help you, but…” But? My sister takes a step away from me and takes a deep breath. “But first, if Levi really is here, then I want proof.” Holy crap, she’s actually going along with it…right, proof…

 _“I mean…”_ Levi steps off to the side and crosses his arms in front of his chest. _“…it’s a reasonable request.”_ I close my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose.

“Well how do you suppose we do that, we don’t exactly have time for the whole ordeal we had with Armin…heck, Mika’s already crazy late for work…Oh shit!” I turn back to my sister who looks slightly paler and confused. “Mika, I’m so sorry, I really hope you don’t get into trouble for this.” As if my words brought her out of some deep thought, Mikasa lifts her head and shakes it suddenly.

“No, don’t…don’t worry about that, I’ll just have to go a bit over time later…” Her eyes are still a bit far away and I notice her attention to the spot just right of where I stood. “Do you talk a lot?” Her question confuses me slightly and I’m thrown ever so slightly off course.

“Well yeah, you’ve known me for a long time Mika, I don’t shut up. I kind of figured you’d accepted that about me by now…”

 _“No, you dumb ass, she’s asking about us…”_ Levi gives me a flat look and I hear Mikasa chuckle in front of us.

“Ooooh, you mean…?” I turn back to my sister and she rolls her eyes. I awkwardly rub the back of my neck. “I suppose…kinda hard though ‘cause I have a tendency to look like I’m arguing with thin air.”

“Do you…argue a lot?” Mikasa smiles slightly and I feel my shoulders settle down at the new comfortable tone of the conversation.

“Well…sometimes…he can be a bit of an ass - …”

_“Seems a bit rich - …”_

“Well it’s true…” I turn to Levi on impulse and stick my tongue out. “And besides, it’s just one of the many things you love about me...” Levi rolls his eyes but doesn’t argue. It was true…but it wasn’t the same as saying it forthright.

It was like telling a person you ‘looooved…spending time with them’… it was a bit of a cop out…

But it was safe…

 _“I can’t argue with that…”_ Levi’s words are full of such warmth I can feel my pulse climb and my lips curl upwards as if they had a mind of their own. It takes me a second to realise we’d gotten lost once again in each other and I quickly turn back to my sister.

“There’s that look again…” Her eyes were watery, and she smiles so genuinely at me. “You can’t fake that look…”

_It’s like your in lo - …_

My mind goes back to what my sister said only moments ago and that’s when I realise, it’s not the scientific explanations or the magic mirror tricks that are going to convince my sister…it was the soul crushing honestly that were my feelings…

Sigh…

I really preferred the mirror way…

“So, what exactly am I looking for?” I toss my head up and see a new look of determination on Mikasa’s face.

“I’ll um…I’ll write it down…” I scramble together the words I’d started to jot down before I blurted out everything that had gotten us into this mess in the first place. “Here…” I pass the note to Mikasa and she reads it over.

“Levi…?” She looks up and a small frown adorns her thin brow. “…what if I can’t find something, or…or if I’m not sure what’s important?” I share a look with Levi.

“Well, Levi could go with you…” I continue on quickly before she can butt in. “…I can’t because it’ll be too obvious but if Levi goes then he can give some indication whether you’re heading in the right direction.”

 _“Do you think I’ll make it that far without you?”_ Levi’s question voiced my own concerns, but I can’t help the chuckle that comes out.

“Awww, Levi…” I give him a look which said exactly what I was thinking. “…I didn’t realise how cheesy you could be…” He hits me lightly around the side of the head and I hold up my hands. “Okay, okay…jeez…look, I think that we’ve gotten to a point in your energy where a couple hours won’t hurt. You’re stronger than you were last time and I’ll come pick you up later – I won’t leave you for long.” Levi nods and I take the badge out of my pocket. “Okay, so…” I walk up to my sister and offer the badge out. “You’re going to need this, it’s his anchor.” My sister takes the shiny object in her hand and reads the tattered inscription.

“This was his…? He was a cop?” I nod again and shove my hands into my pockets to hide the unease handing over the badge made me feel.

“Yeah, five years ago, he served in the same precinct…hell of a detective.”

 _“Awww, Eren… you make me blush…”_ Levi’s deadpan tone was perfect, and I walk up to stand behind him whilst my sister puts the badge away in her scrubs pocket.

“Don’t let it go to your head…” I chuckle in Levi’s ear and catch my sister watching us…probably looks right weird. “Well…” I place my hand on Levi’s arm and walk around so that I’m stood in front of both of them. “Maybe you guys should meet properly…” I clap my hands together and gesture for Levi to approach my sister. He doesn’t. “Levi…”

 _“What exactly am I supposed to do Eren?”_ I glance at Mikasa and see a very unsure expression on her natural pretty face. I could tell she still wasn’t overly convinced, but I can’t really blame her – she was still helping me – and she was trying.

“Well, you could - …”

“Hi Levi!” My sister interrupts my flippant suggestions and holds her hand out, the action giving the impression she was making herself fall into it before she could opt out. If I were a lesser person I would probably have a little giggle at how utterly ridiculous she looks – but she was doing this for me. I catch the movement out the corner of my eye and see Levi walk passed me, taking my sister’s hand in his own. You can see the moment they touch because my sisters back straightens. The cold rush of a ghost can fill your entire nervous system and feels like a shock to your body… and I knew exactly how she felt.

 _“Hi Mikasa…”_ Their grip on each other doesn’t last long, but you can tell she felt something.

“He says ‘hi’…” I smile at my sister’s confounded expression and Levi takes a step back. “Awesome! Now everyone is acquainted, you guys should probably go.” I turn my attention onto Mika and give her a very stern expression. “Now hold onto that badge like your life depends on it…okay?”

“Okay, Eren…” I don’t take my eyes off her just to get my point across for a bit longer. “…I won’t let it out of my sight…promise.”

“Thank you” I turn back to Levi and let out a wobbly breath. “You ready?”

_“Ready as I’ll ever be…”_

“Good…” I smile and already hate the knowledge that he’s about to go…it didn’t bode well for our future. I give myself an internal slap and move forward. “I’ll see you in a few hours…Mikasa, call me if anything goes wrong…or if you need help, or…or if Levi needs help, or needs me - …”

“Eren…” Mikasa puts a light hand on my shoulder. “…I’m sure we’ll get on just fine…even if a small part of me still feels like this is all just…well, just crazy.” She smiles to reassure me and I watch as she gathers her things and heads for the door. I jump forward and open it, letting my sister go through and I wait for Levi to catch up. As he stands in the door way I hold it open, my heart beating faster and faster as he stops to plant a quick kiss on my lips whilst my sister wasn’t looking.

 _“I’ll see you later…”_ And with that he follows my sister down the corridor and out of sight. I close the door behind me, back in the apartment and sink to the floor.

I’d just sent my sister and the dead man I’m in love with out on a mission of stealth and self-discovery…

I should write a book…

God, I felt nauseous…

 

(Mikasa POV)

I stop at the end of the corridor and take a minute to clear my mind…

I just agreed to go through classified files of a dead man I’m pretty sure my brother’s been ‘talking’ to for the last three weeks and claims has been living with us. What if Eren really is sick? Am I endorsing behaviour that could make him worse?

No, I saw the look on his face, in a lot of ways it makes sense…his behaviour since he came home from the hospital and the talking to himself…

I look down at my watch and sigh. I was already exceedingly late for work and I really didn’t have time to dwell on this. I could either stand there and call my brother crazy – my brother who I like to think I know better than anyone, who I _love_ more than anyone – or I could just help him…I felt the cold, I felt the handshake.

To an extent, it’s not like it’s that out of the blue…Levi did come up more than once. I knew he was someone important in my brother’s life…I just wasn’t aware that he was… dead…and at that, under suspicious circumstances no less…

I start heading down the corridor again and decide to take the elevator, my legs feeling a little like lead by this point. I stand patiently and try to clear my head, I’d taken on this task and I would get the information my brother needed, whether what he was saying was true or not. If it helped him, then I’d do what I could. I hear the ‘ding’ of the elevator and I step inside. As the doors begin to close behind me I hear them stutter and open once again, then finally settle before closing completely – that was weird. I lean against the back railing and let my head fall to the back wall, peering at my reflection to the mirror on the left beside me. I jump a little when I notice another person in the elevator, I hadn’t notice them get in, but it would explain the behaviour of the elevator door.

He was a well put together man in a suit, sharp features and dark hair. He was pretty…very good-looking. I frown for a moment as I try to see if I recognised him. Does he live in the building? No, surely I would have noticed…something about him does seem weirdly familiar though…? I straighten up against the wall and adjust my hair – I felt like a mess after this morning… I face the door of the elevator and take a steady breath and sneak another glance into the mirror. The stranger appeared to be smiling to himself about something, then he looks up and I see his dark blue eyes widen ever so slightly when they meet mine. I quickly turn around to apologise…

But there’s no one there… I frantically turn back to the mirror and see him awkwardly raise his hand to wave at me…

I think I screamed…

My hands reach out behind me and I have to steady myself against the wall. I slow my breathing down and hear the faint ring of the elevator as we get to the bottom floor – but I don’t get out. I look to the spot beside me…

Empty…

I look in the mirror…

The guy holds his hands up and I can see my own face stricken with shock and fear. I reach out and touch the mirror, which is stupid…this is all so stupid. He looks as if he’s trying to say something but my mind is swimming… I hear the door ding again, its own way of telling me to go up or get out.

I try to take in the mirror guy once more and see that he’s a bit on the short side but well built. I focus on his mouth and watch him roll his eyes…

“You know the attitude isn’t necessary…” My own voice surprises me and by the looks of it, it surprises him too. He’s saying something else and suddenly…it made sense. “Levi…?” My voice was quiet, and I don’t think I’ve ever sounded so unsure in my entire life. At the mention of his name the… _ghost_ , throws his arms in the air. It was a clear ‘finally’ gesture and I scowl at him. “My brother was right, you really can be an ass…” And with that he smiles…it was a beautiful smile.

I could see why my brother liked him…

I watch his mouth sound out something and you could tell he was trying hard to make it easy for me to understand.

“I don’t…” I shrug and glance briefly behind me…yeah, still no one. “…I don’t understand…” He then gestures his thumb towards the door and makes an exasperated shrug with his shoulders.

Oh!

I quickly catch the elevator door before it closes on us for the fifteenth time and I step out. I really need to get to work. I glance around the apartment lobby and realise that the mirror must be the only way for me to see him. I guess if the right person explained that to me it’d make sense. I feel the badge in my pocket and take a few deep breaths as I make my way towards the parking lot. As soon as I get in the car I pause and try to figure out what the hell to do next. How do I know if he’s still with me?

How do I know that wasn’t all in my head?

I have been working a lot of hours lately…

I sit for a second then move before I think better of it. I open the door of the passenger side and watch with wide eyes as it swiftly slams shut a moment later on its own. Okay, so he’s still here…

I turn the engine on and slowly ease us out of the underground parking lot. I adjust my hair again once we’re on the road and take another deep breath. Right, work, hospital…I glance in the rear-view mirror and bite my lip before opening my mouth to essentially talk to thin air.

“So…how do I know you’re still here?” My question is left unanswered – surprise, surprise – and I let out a frustrated sigh. “Is there any way we could communicate…please…prove to me I’m not crazy…” I mutter the last bit under my breath. Well, I suppose if he can’t talk back it would be a good time to get stuff out in the open. “Look…” I indicate onto the main road, the hospital only a few miles from home. “I realise you must mean a lot to my brother…I obviously don’t know all of the details, but I’ve watched him over the last few weeks and something’s…something’s clearly different about him. I don’t know if you’re actually hearing any of this and…to an extent part of me kind of hopes I _am_ talking to an empty car…but clearly you exist, and you’ve had a big impact in Eren’s life.” I stop for a moment and focus on my driving, the silence making my part of the conversation a little unnerving.

I continue despite myself…

“Some things are starting to make more sense in a way…like when Eren got upset because somebody left…I assume that was you…?” Silence… “…and I’ve heard him talking with someone in his room, I just always assumed he was on the phone or something…Before all of this happened, the coma, the…ghosts…my brother wasn’t in a great place and…” I sigh, my mind going back to late nights and fake smiles. “I just… I don’t understand how this is supposed to work, you’re dead…you are dead right?” I gesture my hand out into the car and pull into the staff parking lot in the west wing of the hospital. “Well, if you are dead, like…like fully dead…” I lean back in my chair and leave the engine running – afraid that the stillness would just make me more uneasy. “…that means you’re gonna leave if we figure out this information…” I take out the scribbled words Eren wrote for me. “…and then Eren’s gonna be alone again…” I look over to the passenger seat against my better judgement and speak with a sincerity I can only muster when talking about my brother. “…I don’t really know a lot, Levi…but I know that my brother must care deeply for you…and he’s going to be broken if you disappear…”

I felt slightly guilty saying it all out loud. It wasn’t Levi’s fault if my brother could see dead people and they stumbled into each other’s lives. It wasn’t Levi’s fault if my brother fell in love…

_…Don’t…its…we can’t say it…okay?_

My brother’s words from this morning echo through my mind and I realise that he already knew this…they both already knew this.

They didn’t need me pointing it out…

“Sorry…” I don’t say any more and I let the silence sink in, a cold chill runs through my body…

‘AND THIS JUST IN…ALNF~~DFHOS~…UNSHINE WITH SHOWERS…~~GNAO~MNFSO~…THANK YOU, NEXT…~~’

The radio scares the crap out of me and I jump up in my seat. I hadn’t touched it and then suddenly it turns off again - all on its own…I guess that was his way of saying… ‘thank you…next…’

A convenient chart topper…

“Well, uh…I suppose we should go…figure out what happened to you in this hospital…” I turn off the engine and make sure Levi has a chance to get out of the car before we set off.

I graze the top of the badge in my pocket once again…the object lets off a weird kind of comfort. I imagine Eren hasn’t let go of it for the past few weeks… We step into the hospital and the real world crashes back down…

We’ve got some information to find…

 

(Levi POV)

Hanging around someone who essentially has no visible awareness of your existence can get exhausting. I follow Mikasa into the hospital and she’s immediately greeted by an abundance of patients and hospital staff… she was a popular that’s for sure. We head around to a small staff area and I watch whilst she puts her things away and punches in.

“Now, I just need to quickly sort a few things out and then I’ll…” She gets the information out of her pocket. “…I’ll look for this.” I wasn’t too sure whether she was actually just talking to herself or whether she was attempting to talk to me. Obviously, she didn’t know where I was, but I had to commend her on her efforts. I gently brush a hand along her upper arm and notice her stiffen at the cold air my touch seems to bring. Her attention whips over to my direction and she nods.

Not quite sure what the nod means, but I’m gonna interpret it as a ‘good, you’re still here…’

I can sense my connection to the badge as Mikasa carries it around, there’s a pull that makes me follow her…but I was weaker. I knew straight off that I wouldn’t be able to interact with the environment as much as I usually could. I couldn’t open the car door and I know I won’t be a lot of help if she needs it.

It was because Eren wasn’t here…

Even though the badge was my anchor, Eren was my life source…and I believed that more than ever…

“Mikasa…!” As we walk out into the nurse’s station, Mikasa is greeted by two other nurses, one larger women and another who leant against the counter looking at her nails. “Honey, you look like the mornings beaten you with a long stick…you alright?” The larger woman raises an eyebrow and I catch Mikasa fix her hair self-consciously.

“It’s just been a…” She tucks a length of the dark hair behind her ear and looks down at a patient’s chart the slimmer woman hands to her. “…difficult morning…” She sighs. “Eren’s - …”

“Oh, sweetheart, that brother of yours is always causing you trouble…” The nurse makes a point of jutting a hip out and pointing a finger. “…mind, lucky he’s pretty….don’t suppose - …?”

“Still gay Helen, yep…” The two nurses shrug and Mikasa chuckles, sparing a brief glance in my direction.

“Worth a shot…” Helen picks up another chart and makes her way around the counter.  

“Actually…” Mikasa looks up and it prompts the other nurses to stop in their tracks. “…I think he’s been seeing someone.” Her words make my spine stiffen.

“Really?” The news perks up the other nurses and Mikasa smiles.

“Yeah, he’s…he’s been through a lot lately, but I think it’s really something special.” I walk up beside Eren’s sister and watch as she feels my presence. It was weird, like a small gesture of acceptance…

It was nice…

“Well he deserves it, after everything that happened with the Reiner guy…your brother deserves something good Mikasa.” And with that the two ladies take off down the busy corridor.

_“Thanks, Mikasa…”_

 

We set off as Mikasa takes care of her morning rounds. We see patients old and young, recovering and undiagnosed. I look up at the clock and see it’s been about forty minutes since we got here. Just over an hour and Eren will come to pick me up…so to speak. It felt weird without him, like part of me wasn’t really here – it was missing…

The feeling didn’t bode well for our future…

I watch as an old man makes his way gradually along the dimly lit corridor, his IV drip in his right hand and todays paper in his left.

“Hey…” Mikasa’s voice is quiet and she ducks her head down subtly as if that was gonna make her seem slightly more discreet. “I’m gonna drop this off then we can go out the back of the storage area and have a look. There aren’t usually many people around, so we should have plenty of time to search. I nod my head, more out of habit than anything else because I know she can’t see me.

The storage of files is full, floor to ceiling of old patient records. I walk into the room and look up, the constant array of white and beige making my eyes sore.

“Now, 2013 should be over in this area, we’ll check under deceased to find out if you really did die in this hospital…or maybe…maybe you didn’t…” She walks over to the far end of the room where files are packed with large stickers and stamps exposing the dead and do not resuscitates. I already know that I won’t be able to touch anything, so I wait for Mikasa to search.

Minutes go by and I feel my body getting weaker and weaker. I’m still anchored to the spot, but my body is becoming more and more transparent. I hold one of my hands out in front of me and look at the shelves through my disappearing fingers.

Better hurry up Mika…

It’s the longest I’ve been away from Eren since the weekend he went into hospital…

“Nothing, I can’t see anything that looks even remotely connected to this time…” She walks back towards me then through the door and out into the nurse’s station. She quickly sits down and starts typing rapidly onto the computer. “A few years ago, they switched pretty much everything into digital copies to reduce paper trails and save space. Some older files were converted and stored on the sub data base…some files that were seen less important, or in your case…” She looks up and I’m surprised when she looks right at me. “…files that others didn’t want just anybody looking at.”

Mikasa turns back to the computer and I watch as she works through various different windows, typing my name into search bar after search bar.

“Oh my god…” I look down to see her wide eyes staring at my precinct photo. The picture must have been stapled to my hospital file due to it being pegged as a crime scene. “Levi, it…” Her voice is quiet, and her tone suggests whatever it says, it really wasn’t what we were expecting. “It says - …”

“Wow, who’s the cutey?” Mikasa almost jumps out of her chair and quickly puts her back up against the monitor, hiding my profile from the prying eyes of the other nurse.

“Uh, um…just…just old files that Dr McCallister asked me to go over for, um…for this new test development. We’re looking at cases in the past which relied souly on the current equipment… for um…We’re trying to put together a good argument for the hospital to update…and…stuff.”

 _“Nice save, Mika…you lie only_ slightly _better than your brother…”_ I roll my eyes and try to get a better look at my profile. The other nurse doesn’t seem overly bothered by the fragmented lie or the blush adorning Mikasa’s face.  

“Fair enough. Going back a way then, hope he’s not got you looking into too many. It’s menial labour and you’re a bloody good nurse” The nurse starts to walk away, then peers down at the monitor once more before she leaves. “It’s a shame really…” I look up at her eyes, painted with too much makeup and a very distinct shade of pity. “…the pretty ones always die young…”

Then she walks away…

There’s a silence that seeps between us after we’re left alone and Mikasa settles back down. I lean over the desk and finally read my file…

But it looks more like a death certificate…

 

‘NAME OF DECEASED:  **LEVI ACKERMAN**

DATE OF DEATH AS STATED:   **27 TH** DAY OF **SEPTEMBER 2013** AGE AS STATED:  **34**

PLACE OF DEATH:  **SHIGANSHINA HEART HOSPITAL**

** CAUSE OF DEATH **

  * Disease or condition directly leading to death **(TBI) Trauma Brain Injury, Infection**
  * Other disease or condition, if any, leading to (a) **Penetrating Injury**



“Levi…” Mikasa’s voice sounds far away and my eyes scan the screen again and again. “…Levi, you did die in this hospital…but you were also in a coma for almost seven months before you did…you were kept in the coma ward under strict orders with no visitors or unspecified treatment.” She runs her fingers along the screen as she reads out segments of the file. I lean against the counter and run shaking fingers through my hair as Mikasa mumbles under her breath. “September of 2013…I’d been working here for only a little while then, Eren and I both started our new jobs around about the same time after we moved here.”

 _“Seven months…?”_ I was talking to no one…seven months I was stuck in this hospital – a vegetable – did I die or did some eager sod put me out of my misery?

“I…Levi, I don’t know if you’re hearing all of this o-or…or what, but…” She looks up at me again, her eyes wide. “Levi, I think I remember you…”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr - jovialjellyfishreaper


	17. Crazy And Sad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guarantee you, I'm just as surprised as you are XD  
> NEW CHAPTER!! I'm on a roll whilst on my hols so enjoy it whilst it lasts! 
> 
> Really hope you enjoy the new chapter! A few more questions starting to be answered and I honestly don't know how many chapters could be left but I have a feeling it won't be that many - we're getting close to that moment!!!  
> The amount of people still holding onto the fact Levi could still be alive - I commend your persistence and, well...who knows (but, I mean, really...)<3 hehee <3
> 
> THANK YOU all so MUch!!! Your continued feedback and lovely words mean this fic has come this FArrr!! It really means the world and I love all the EREri lovers I've met along the way <3333
> 
> Because I'm not sure how many chapters could be left I wanted to open up any small suggestions anyone has or things they want to see before the very end...- a moment you want to see -something I missed - a scene from someone else's perspective - a flashback *shrugs* just in case...  
> As per usual, let me know if I made any stupid mistakes!  
> ANyway, I'll shut up now - ENJOY!!

(Levi POV)

“I’ll call Eren, tell him…tell him what we found.” Mikasa gets up from her chair and makes a bee line for the landline up on the clean white wall beside her.

My mind was still buzzing, like a static was passing through my skull whilst I tried to process yet more information on my own life. I don’t remember sinking to the floor but before I know it my backs up against the counter and I lean my head against the solid surface. I wasn’t sure how much longer my body was going to hold up without Eren, but I could feel the cold surface of the linoleum floor.

“Yeah…yeah, Eren, I think you should come now…I’ll tell you when you get here.” Mikasa closes her eyes for a moment and I watch her pinch the bridge of her nose. My own fingers scrawled through my hair on either side of my head. “I don’t know Eren, I can’t…!” She sighs again and lowers her voice, looking around at the nurses who walk passed. “…I can’t talk to him Eren, I can hardly tell whether he’s still actually here with me.” I tune her out again and watch the assortment of footwear as people walk passed on the other end of the corridor.

I don’t understand how one man’s life could have become so fucked up. How could I have been in a coma for seven fucking months after the incident on the 3rd of march, and only just find out about it? How did nobody else know, Hange never brought up any indication that such a thing happened…there’s no _way_ they could have known?

But somebody must have…

Somebody must have brought my body here and kept it here, making sure nobody else – nobody I loved – could find me. Letting them all believe that I was just dead. If Mikasa remembers me as a coma ward patient, then does she know who kept me here…who visited me?

Was I just left alone…did anyone who meant anything to me know I was stuck in this antiseptic hell hole for over half a year?

“Levi…?” My name is said so quietly but with a warmth I missed more than anything. Part of my brain dismisses the sound, assuming it was Mikasa attempting to get her bearings. Then I feel gentle fingers run over my clenched hands and into my hair, pushing the bangs out of my semi-hidden face. “Please talk to me, Levi…” I lift my head as Eren’s voice begins to register and as soon as I do his fingers are cupping either side of my face, making sure I look him in the eye. “You okay?” I nod.

 _“Yeah…”_ My voice feels scratchy from the recent lack of use and the stress that had slowly been building up inside my body whilst we waited.

“Follow me, I think I know somewhere we can go…” I look up to see Eren’s sister gesture down the corridor and Eren quickly looks around before encouraging me up off the floor. Mikasa leads us down a quieter section of the hospital and into a dark, empty room. The blinds were only half drawn and the bed was neatly made. “We should be able to talk here with no problem.” I sit down on the bed but Eren keeps hold of my hand, our arms stretching across the distance between us.

“So what happened…what did you find…?” Eren’s eyes were slightly larger than usual and I can tell Mikasa’s trying to figure out the easiest or best way to pass on the new lot of information…but the sooner Eren knows, the sooner we can figure out why…

 _“I was in a coma…”_ Eren turns his attention to me and Mikasa must assume I was taking over.

“What…?”

 _“For seven months…after I was injured in the Titan attack….seven months I was stuck in this hospital, and I don’t even know what happened during that time…I don’t know who knew I was here or why no one else seems to know about it…”_ I look down after I finish, and my grip loosens in Eren’s hand.

“Levi…” His voice was quiet, but I don’t look up. “Seven months…?” That must have filled Mikasa in on what her brother knew and I sense her step forward.

“It’s true, I found his online record and Levi spend nearly seven months in a TBI induced coma. He actually died…” She stops for a moment when she takes in her brother’s face, making her slow down a little. “…he actually didn’t pass away until late September…”

 

(Eren POV)

“Late September…?” I look over to Levi still sat at the edge of the hospital bed and walk over to sit beside him. As soon as I do, Levi turns his body towards me and rests his head on my shoulder, burying his face in the crook of my neck.

 _“I don’t understand…”_ His voice was quiet and muffled against my jacket _. “I already knew I was dead…what difference does it make if it happened in fucking March or September….I’ll fucking decompose all the same…”_ Levi’s tone was more strained than usual, like it was more effort to keep the cool nonchalant way he tends to make look so…well, effortless… I reach my arm around and pull him a bit closer, then look up towards my sister – choosing not to acknowledge Levi’s few choice words.

“Anything else?” I try to keep my own tone calm. Mikasa nods her head and I straighten a little, preparing myself for more unwanted revelations.

“August of 2013 was the month I started working here…” Mikasa gestures around her then turns to me. “Do you remember?” I nod and frown slightly, carefully thinking back to five years ago.

“I’d just started working at the precinct.”

“Yes, exactly…” Mikasa rubs her hands together nervously and continues on. “It was a very stressfully first month, that’s for sure, and…a-and so much was happening at once. I do remember, since I was fresh out of nursing school, I was given some pretty menial tasks, you know…scattered amongst the difficult ones. They liked to really pile it on you from the get go, but… I remember, for a few weeks, I was put in charge of various cases in the coma ward, one of them…” I sit up a bit more once Mikasa’s implication begins to set in.

“You remember Levi?” It was kind of a bizarre thought, that somehow mine and Levi’s worlds collided long before we knew it.

“Yeah, I…I think so…when I first saw his reflection in the elevator mirror…” Information I make sure to put aside for later questioning. “…I thought I recognised him from somewhere…I mean, it’s not like Levi has a particularly…” My sister waves her hand out but blushes lightly. “…boring face.” I raise an eyebrow but let her go on. “I remember treating a patient who was suffering with a pretty traumatic penetrating wound and they were kept under very strict operation in regard to who could come see him and what we were allowed to do without explicit permission from his kin…”

“His kin?” From the top of my head I couldn’t think of anyone that could be labelled as Levi’s kin. He had next to no family and the friends he was close to don’t seem to know about… “Mika, do you remember who that was…do you remember who visited Levi in that state?”

“Well…yeah, I do, that’s kind of why the patient…w-why Levi… stood out, but I guess you don’t remember?” I frown a little and shrug my shoulders, feeling Levi loosen his grip once again. I make sure to twine our fingers together and turn back to my sister.

“No, I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”

“Eren, you’d _just_ started working at the precinct. You were so excited, but it was still early days and both of us still relied quite heavily on each other. You used to come pick me up a lot, do you remember that?”

“Yeah…” It was just how we had to function back then, with just one car and little money to go around, we worked heavily around each other’s schedules to help each out and still make a comfortable amount of money. “…you were always running behind, and I had to wait in the nurse’s station whilst your weird co-workers interrogated me…they were always strangely obsessed with my cheek bones.” A quick shiver goes down my spine at the memory and I feel Levi sit up beside me, his eyes wider than usual. “But I don’t understand…wha - …” I look over to Levi, then up at my sister, both of which seem to have cottoned onto something I haven’t.

“I remember it because it was one of those, ‘what a small world’ moments, you know? You loved your job from the very beginning, Eren, and you spoke with so much admiration for the people you worked with, especially your boss…” My boss…Erwin? “I could tell you respected the man a lot and so when you saw him at the hospital - …”

“Whoa, wait…. I don’t remember any of this…I don’t remember seeing Erwin at the…” But I did. It was a late night and I’d just finished a big case down at the Trost nightclub. Jean and I were praised for our first successful bust and I was buzzing.

“Eren?”

“No, yeah…I remember…”

“I bumped into Erwin that night at the hospital and I remember because you were so excited to introduce me to him. That’s when I realised I’d seen him a lot since I’d started. He was always there visiting…” Mikasa slowly turns her body towards Levi whose eyes were ever so slightly misted over. “…to visit a friend…in the coma ward.” Levi looks up at Mikasa and I feel a tight squeeze in my stomach from the look on his face.

“I asked him why he was there, and he wouldn’t really tell me…” I look down, the memory kind of hazy after five years but clear enough due to its unique context. “…he just changed the subject and congratulated me on my bust with Jean…” I shrug. “…I never really thought about it ever again.

“I didn’t really think it was a big deal so I never brought any of it up again…in fact…” Mikasa frowns and looks slightly taken a back. “I’m pretty sure I was taken off of the coma ward after that…honestly I never really thought why, it was just another duty I was able to rid of.” The squeeze in my stomach turns to a sinking feeling and I look at Levi.

“Are you okay?”

 _“Yeah…”_ To give him credit, he made it very hard not to believe…but there’s no way this couldn’t have hit hard somehow. I decide to leave him for now and I’ll make sure to revisit that later when we’re alone. I turn back to my sister.

“So, what…do you think Erwin just had you moved because of your association with me…purely because I worked at the precinct. How come Erwin knew about the coma and Hange didn’t – what the hell gave him the right to hide that kind of thing?!” My voice began to rise as I went on and Mikasa steps forward, putting a tentative hand on my shoulder.

“Maybe we should call it a day and we’ll…we’ll think about what all of this could mean. Maybe you should talk to Hange?” It was a good idea and the fact it was my sister who said it meant the world. She’d looked passed her own doubts and stepped straight on board to help. I agree.

“No, yeah...I’ll, um…I’ll give Hange a call and maybe they could come over later…or…” I shrug, struggling to keep a coherent thought on track. There was so much going on. “I’m worried about what I’ll do if I see Erwin before we figure out what to do next.” I take the silence that follows as agreement on the best course of action. I take a deep breath and go to stand up, but I stop as Levi stands first and positions himself in front of me. I look up at him and see a sad expression in his beautiful blue eyes. He puts a hand out and I take it immediately.

 _“Can we go home now?”_ The way he says it reminds me of a small child, still stoic as ever, but with a slither of unease – a small plea.

I wonder how long it’s been since he’s had somewhere to call home…

“Yeah, of course…” I look him in the eye and I can only imagine the thoughts and fears that must be going through his mind. I bring his hand to my lips and squeeze it tighter. “…let’s go…” I get up to leave and my sister leads us back towards the nurse’s station where she prints out a copy of Levi’s records for me to take back.

“Is he gonna be alright?” My sister gives me a look as she hands over the papers, I make sure to not look at them yet, only seeing a glimpse of Levi’s name in block cap letters. Mikasa’s voice is low but there wasn’t much point since Levi was waiting over by the west wing exit.

“Yeah, he’ll um…I’ll make sure he is. I can’t imagine what he must feel. Erwin was his best friend and everything we’ve found points to… _that_ , maybe…not being as true as he’d thought.”

“They were close before Levi died?” Mika folds her arms across her chest and looks slightly uneasy.

“Yeah…” I rub the back of my neck and sigh. “And Hange too, all three of them were close, which is how Hange was so inclined to believe me from the beginning.” The last part wasn’t meant to be a jab at my sister and part of me quickly panics that she might see it as such. “Mikasa…”

“No, Eren…” She smiles. “…I get it, and…you have no idea how happy I am that you had people there for you…I’m really proud of you, you know.” Her smile gets bigger and I hug her tight. I was so relieved that I had my sister with me now. Since I can remember she’s been there, my rock…and I honestly don’t know what I’d do without her.

“Thanks Mika…thank you so much…” She squeezes back, and I begin to pull away.

“No problem…just…” She sighs. “Be careful, Eren…I really don’t want to see you get hurt…”

“Don’t worry Mika, I’m a big boy now…besides, I really don’t think, even if Erwin does have something to do with this, he wouldn’t really do an -…”

“No, Eren, I don’t mean…”She sighs and puts a hand to my cheek, giving me her most maternal look – something she mastered pretty quickly when we were younger. “…I mean with your heart.”

Oh…

I smile at her once more, saying goodbye then making my way back towards Levi so we can finally leave the hospital.

I think it was a little too late for that Mika…

 

 

We get back to the apartment and I let us both inside. It was quiet and cold. I put the print-out from Mikasa on the side and deicide to read them later. I need to call Hange as soon as I can and probably get Armin’s opinion on it all.

 _“Do you think I could have done something differently...?”_ Levi’s question stops me dead in my tracks.

“What?” I turn to face him as he leans against the couch and I take a few steps forward. “What the hell are you talking about?” He just shrugs and refuses to look up at me. “Levi?”

 _“It’s just that…it shouldn’t be this damn difficult, right?”_ He finally looks up and I see an anger that had replaced the sad expression from earlier. _“It’s like some higher power just wanted to shit on me even after I’d kicked the bucket!”_ Levi’s voice rises as books on the shelf start to fall off and I could hear plates in the kitchen cupboards rattling inside. _“Sharp trauma to the head!? Oh, well sure, how about a fucking coma and a back stabbing best friend to keep you going!? Dead!? Fuck no!? How about a ghost, throw in a bit of memory loss just so you can discover bit by bit what a ROYAL FUCK UP YOU WERE?!”_ I quickly close the space between us and catch Levi before his body falls to the floor. His shouting diminishing into nothing as his sobs are muffled into my side.

“Levi…” I hold him tightly in my arms and watch as the man I love crumbles into nothing.

 _“I died with nobody…”_ Levi’s voice catches and it sends a stabbing wound through my chest _. “…I died and everybody who gave a shit had already finished mourning…’cause they didn’t even know…”_ He struggles to finish the last sentence and I feel him hide his face deeper into my chest.

“Levi…” I make sure to keep my voice low and steady. “Levi, you know that’s not true. Y-yeah, people mourn but… _God_ , Levi I guarantee you, nobody who gave a shit has ever – _not once_ – stopped loving you or forgotten you. You were there when Hange found out you were with me, you think that looked like someone who ever stopped mourning…?” I lower my head so that it rests on top of his. I take a second to compose myself and keep going, tightening my grip a little more. “F-fuck, Levi…I can’t even begin to imagine what it would have been like to lose you. You may feel like you didn’t make a difference o-or…or that you weren’t loved by many but… _Levi_ …when you did…they loved you so _fucking_ much it hurt. I would know…I can tell, every single life that you touched whilst you were here…when you died you left a gaping hole that will never be filled.” When I stop I can feel Levi’s breathing settle back to a slower and more stable rhythm.

There’s a stretch of silence and I use it to close my eyes, getting rid of the pressure building up behind them.

 _“Thanks kid…”_ Levi’s tone is lighter, and he starts to raise his head. I lift my own and look down, our noses brushing as I take in his glistening eyes. The blue was richer and sparkling from his tears.

It was fucking beautiful…

“We will figure out what happened whilst you were in that coma and then, I guarantee…” I lower my voice. “…whatever happened in your last few days in that body…” I lean in closer and dip my head to the side, watching Levi’s eyes flicker closed at my proximity. “…it’s got nothing on what I’m gonna do to this one.” 

As soon as our lips meet I feel Levi’s body relax and his hands worm up to the side of my face. I deepen the kiss at his enthusiasm and sit up straighter as he adjusts himself on my lap. I lift Levi up until he straddles my hips and he can finally attack me from above.

 _“That’s one way to…”_ Levi break the contact for a second. “… _shift the mood…”_ I smile at Levi’s comment. _“…idiot…”_ He smiles back, and I pull away slightly to look him in the eye.

“It’s one of my many talents…” I wiggle my eyebrows and laugh when Levi shoves my shoulder, a smile growing on his own face. I lean my head forward, my forehead resting against Levi’s as he meets me half way.

 _“Thank you…”_ I smile.

“You already thanked me…” Levi shrugs, moving his arms to snake around my neck.

 _“I know but…I mean for everything…I don’t think I have for everything…”_ I rest my hands on Levi’s hips, grazing the perfect edges with my thumb. I look down for a second and let out a sigh. It wasn’t like a tired sigh or exasperation, it was more of a…

I love you…

“Then consider us even…” I smile upwards and watch a small confused frown wrinkle Levi’s nose. It makes me chuckle.

_“I don’t unders - …”_

“Actually…” I interrupt Levi’s obvious question and put on a thoughtful expression. “…you kind of made a mess of my apartment when you got angry so…” I look back at him and see the flat stare I’d gotten so used to. Levi rolls his eyes.

 _“So…?”_ He raises an eyebrow.

“So…better make it up to me.” I lean in closer and catch Levi smile back.

 _“Oh, yeah…guess I should…”_ Levi leans in and I try to adjust him in my lap, but just as my heartrate picks up I feel the weight on me begin to slip away. I open my eyes and see Levi standing above me.

“Where are you going!?” Levi looks down and gives me a blank look, then shrugs.

 _“I’m gonna clean your apartment, that is what you wanted, right?”_ I can only imagine the look on my face and just as I see the first crack in Levi’s blank façade, I ease into an easy expression of ‘I am so unimpressed right now’.

“That’s not funny…” Levi bursts out laughing, and the sound goes straight through me like a fucking siren’s song. It took me back to the day outside of Maria café when I first heard him laugh for real. It was when he managed to steal the badge…the first time he became real in front of me.

 _“I-it…was, you sh-should have seen your fucking face…!”_ Levi doubles over and clutches his stomach.

“Ha ha, very funny…let’s make Eren all horny then throw him under the bus…” My flat tone and comment makes Levi laugh even more and he takes a moment to compose himself.

 _“In my defence…”_ He points an elegant finger at me. _“…you made yourself horny…”_ Then he crosses his arms over his chest. I look up at him for a moment and take in the perfect specimen of a man in front of me. I rest my head against the couch and cross my feet at the ankles – just taking in the moment _. “What?”_ Levi looks down at me suspiciously.

“Nothin’…I wasn’t gonna say anything…”

_“Well then stop looking at me like that…!”_

“Like what!?”

 _“Like you…you know…just stop it…!”_ I raise my hands in defeat and finally stand up, taking a few steps forward so that I can tower over Levi once again. I lower my voice and smile.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about…” I keep my hands held out and start to walk away. “I gotta give Hange a call…” I turn around and head towards the kitchen, but I can feel piercing blue eyes on my back.

And I honestly can’t imagine looking at him in any other way…

 

-Later that Evening-

I throw the hospital record down in front of Hange.

“This is the evidence of the most recent development…” I stand by the table and watch as Hange’s eyes skim the death certificate I was unfortunate enough to come across earlier whilst I was reading it over.

“I-I…I don’t understand…” Hange hunches their shoulders, resting their head in their hands. “It just doesn’t make any sense! How could I have not KNOWN about this!?” They stand up and I quickly put a hand on their shoulder.

“I know, Hange…but that is what we’re here to find out.” I look over at Levi whose kept to himself by the couch.

“It’s just that…” Hange runs a hand over their frizzy ponytail, adjusting their glasses. “All that time…all that time he was still there, and I couldn’t…I didn’t…” I knew exactly what they were thinking and I can’t exactly say I wouldn’t think the same thing if I were them.

I can’t believe I abandoned my best friend when he needed me most…o

“Hange…” I ease them back into their seat and glance up over the rest of the table. Armin gives me a tentative smile whilst my sister places tea in front of everyone. “It’s not your fault, it was…” I shrug. “…maybe Erwin…maybe not, but it’s another step closer to knowing the truth.” Hange nods and I walk around back to the head of the table.

“He was still your friend Hange…” Armin’s voice pulls everyone’s attention to his sombre expression, the patient records now in his possession. “…you loved him and, really…in a sense maybe it was easier for you to have that quick goodbye, rather than seven months of ‘maybe now’…” Armin’s point was a hard love approach, but it felt like a sensible reason to move forward. Watching someone you love lay half dead for months on end…no response…no hope…I think I’d prefer the quick bad news to.

“You’re right Armin…” Hange smiles and the atmosphere in the room gets a little brighter – so it’s time to get to business.

“Right…” I clap my hands together then gesture them outwards. “…I’ve called this meeting to discuss our best course of action. Everybody here…” There’s a quick scan from each individual in the room. “…knows or at least has begun to understand what’s going on. I trust all of you with my life…and Levi’s.” I look up at the ghost in question and kick the chair out from beside me. “You gonna join us?” Levi looks up, arms still folded against his chest with a grumpy expression. As soon as everyone else started to arrive he began to recede back into himself.

 _“Do I have to?”_ I roll my eyes.

“Well…you’re kind of a big deal in the discussion…” A minute goes by and he finally stands back straight and makes his way over, settling down into the chair next to me. “Awesome! Now that everyon - …”

‘KNOCK KNOCK’

 I’m immediately interrupted by a loud knock at the door…

“The hell is that?” I frown and watch Hange count everyone around the table on their fingers, ticking each person off one by one.

“Yeah, no, we’re all here…”

“Chinese?”

“I didn’t order Chinese…”

“Could be your neighbour?” I give Armin a ‘but why’ look and the mystery person knocks again.

“Well you should get it!”

“Why should I get!?”

“Well I don’t even live here, why should I get it?!”

_“Will someone just get the fucking door…?”_

“Then you get it!”

_“I can’t even touch the fucking door!”_

“Excuses, excuses…”

“Maybe it’s the fuzz?”

“Really Hange?”

“What, we’re all involved in some shady shit right now…”

“HELLO…ANYONE HOME…?” Everyone freezes at the sound of Jean’s voice muffled through our front door.

“Why the hell is Jean here?!” I look to my sister and she stands up quickly.

“I don’t know, we must have…” She starts over towards the door and turns back to us. “…we must have made plans and I forgot.!”

“Forgot!? Oh, what a wonderful and devout girlfriend you must be?” My sarcasm makes Levi chuckle and Hange covers their face to stay out of the argument.

“Guys…” Armin attempts a peaceful word.

“Well I’m sorry Eren! I guess it’s just been a bit of a crazy day!” Okay…that’s my bad, she’s been pretty cool. I sigh and run a hand through my hair.

 _“Give the girl a break Eren, she deserves way more than that after this morning.”_ I glance down to Levi and look to my sister.

“I’m sorry, Mika…I was an asshole…” I look to the door. “…what are we gonna do about Jean?”

“Could we tell him?” I look to Hange and just give them a flat look whilst shaking my head slowly. “Why not?!”

“Yeah, Hange, I don’t know if Jean is such a great idea in terms of trying to adjust his way of thinki - …”

“Dudes a total tool and a complete - …”

“Eren!” I shrug.

“What!? You totally knew that when you started dating him…yeah, he’s my friend and a pretty awesome partner but he’s not great at…” I gesture my hand out nonchalantly. “…listening to other people’s opinions and beliefs.”

“But he’s one of your closets friends Eren…he will listen.” I let out a sigh of frustration and try to control the bout of agitation that goes through my body.

“Well someone else has got to tell him ‘cause I’m officially sick as shit of trying to convince people I’m not crazy! Besides, I can already see the conversation play out in front of me… Hey Jean, I can see dead people – The fuck you talking about Jaeger? – Seriously Jean, it’s true. Now me and a group of meddlesome kids are trying to figure out the murder of a dear and loyal servicemen of the precinct – That’s cool, I’m gonna go get a drink, you want anything? – Sure! How about a Jack and Coke and a gin for my ghost friend here? – Whatever, you see the game last night? – Oh My God, no one gives a shit, Jean!” I put my hands on my hips and give my sister a pointed look to emphasise my display.

“Oh, come on Eren, you’re being stupid.”

_“Yeah, I would never order a gin…”_

“Guys, maybe you should…” I silence Armin with my hand and take a step closer to my sister.

“Stupid…? Sure, three weeks of stress, no sleep and chronic exhaustion will do that to a guy!”

“Well, fine…we don’t have to tell him about the ghosts, we’ll just…!” My sister struggles to think of an alternative. “I don’t know, we’ll just explain the general case and leave out th-the…dead….people!”

“The key to a good plan…” Hange stands from their seat and settles a calm tone over the conversation. “…is to always leave out the dead people.”

_“I’ll drink to that…”_

There’s a quiet that hangs over the room and I refuse to make the first move…

“UH…GUYS...?” Jean’s voice pipes up again after a while. “YOU KNOW I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING YOU’RE SAYING…RIGHT?”

…

…

“Well shit…” I run a hand through my hair and walk around my sister, finally opening the door to reveal Jean’s pale face. I grip the front of his shirt and yank him inside. I swing the door shut and point to the seat that remained empty beside my sister who’s settled back at the table.

“You guys, uh… having a party without me?” I walk back around to the front of the table with Levi and gesture for Jean to sit down.

“How much did you hear?” I was fed up of explaining shit and just wanted to get on with figuring shit out for once.

“Not…um…some stuff…”

“What exactly do you think’s going on here, Jean?” My tone was very blunt, which, for anyone who knew me well, could tell it meant no room for jokes.  

“You…” Jean glances around the table and his eyes land on his girlfriend’s (my sister’s). “…have you guys killed someone?”

“That depends…” My answer brings Jean’s attention back to me and seems to make both Levi and Hange chuckle. “…you gonna stick around and cooperate or be a pain in the ass?” I raise my eyebrows and Jean sits up a bit straighter. He nods his head.

“N-no, yeah…I’ll…I wanna help, whatever’s going on…” I catch Jean take my sister’s hand under the table and squeeze it gently. “…I’ll help.” I lean further across the table and scowl.

“Even if we asked you to bury the body and lie through your freakishly white teeth?” Jean self-consciously runs his tongue over his teeth and bites his lip.

He nods, and I smile at his conviction, hitting the table in celebration.

“Awesome…!” I point at my partner who still appears very… _very_ unsure of everything around him. “Any and all questions can be answered at the end of the meeting, but we really must get on.” I turn to my sister who seems a bit hesitant to go on. “Mika…care to take over…?” I slide the record over to my sister and she picks it up, slowly spreading the pieces of paper across the table for everyone to examine.

“Right, uh…so I’ve been looking over the death report and compared it with the other files that all of you have gathered prior to this.” Mikasa precedes to take out Levi’s ‘Deceased’ file Levi and I found in the evidence storage, Levi’s private file we stole from Erwin’s office and the case file Armin took from the forensic database. “You’ve already discovered very obvious contradictions in each file thanks to Armin. “Different spouts of information have been put forward as to where Levi’s body was discovered including in a back alley and floating in the river. Both of which are seemingly untrue. Levi’s death certificate in the hospital file shows no indication of respiratory impairment from submersion, therefore this ‘river’ lie that Hange was told can be dismissed.” Hange looks down for a second and I place a hand on their shoulder, giving it a light squeeze. “Levi’s actual deceased file within the precinct records is the closest to truth…” Mikasa points to the beige file and the highlighted section I read out loud to Levi almost three weeks ago. “…since it says Levi bled to death in a back alley.”

“That lines up with the forensic file since it was looking into the crime scene which took place down town.” Armin clarifies and places both his hands out in front of him, scowling at the next, whiter file.

“Exactly…Armin’s file goes over the crime scene in detail which has suggested to us that Levi was in fact there but was removed before official accounts could be made. The evidence left behind telling Armin’s team that whoever was removed was severely injured.” I remember when Armin explained this to us a few days ago. Levi and one other guy had been taken out of the case report. “Now…” Mikasa lifts up the death certificate which was written in bold and looked…way too official. “…this tells us that Levi was taken to Shiganshina hospital after said incident due to serious head trauma caused by a penetrating wound – most likely caused by a knife. A wound like that can cause the body to go into a coma state, and infections are a big risk…generally if somebody doesn’t wake up from a coma after a couple week…they’re not going to…period.”

“So…” Armin takes the certificate from Mikasa and lets out a sigh. “…Levi was injured during this altercation with the Titans and taken to hospital before any authorities could arrive. At the hospital he was treated and fell into a coma like state, leaving him vulnerable and at the hands of whatever corporate and dirty government officials happened to be involved…?” Armin was pretty much nailing it on the head, some thing’s falling into place, but just opening up more questions.

“What the hell made them do that though, why was Levi targeted as a threat?” Hange looks up at me and I shrug weakly, turning my attention back to Armin.

“It’s hard to know whether his injury – and his eventual death – was premeditated…or whether when it happened, whoever was responsible for what happened next was merely an opportunist…”

“So, what? You think maybe someone high up was working _with_ the Titans to get Levi killed?!” My voice rises a little and I feel Levi’s hand slip into mine. Armin gives me an apologetic look but nods.

“That is exactly what I’m saying, Eren…but we really don’t know yet…” He looks back to the files. “…the other question is why no one was told about Levi when he fell into the coma.” I look to Hange and bite my lip.

“Erwin knew…” Hange looks up at me, eyes shocked – a small piece of information I’d happened to keep out of our last conversation. “Erwin knew and kept an eye on Levi at the hospital until he died later in September…sorry Hange.”

“But he told me…” Hange’s voice catches and I feel a stab in the pit of my stomach. “…he told me _himself_ …that Levi was dead…he looked me in the eye and told me our best friend was DEAD!” I take a deep breath but don’t say anything. I look around the table and it’s easy to see that everyone is tired, even Jean looks drained from being dragged into this shit show (even if the ghost part is still a bit in the dark).

The room’s silence drags on for a bit too long and I clear my throat…

“So…what we need to know now is…what did Levi have on the higher ups that forced their hands to…” I gesture to the plethora of files in front of us. “… and who took Levi away, who hid him in the hospital…” I look over to Hange. “…and how was Erwin involved?”

“Guess we gotta make a visit to the Smith household…”

“You think we should just jump him at his house?”

“Well, yeah…he’ll be too prepared for us at work…catch him off guard…” I make a face at Hange’s suggestion but begin to think it over.

“He’ll probably just dismiss it…I tried to bring Levi up to him weeks ago and he acted like he didn’t even hear me…actually he was kinda threatening…”

“He was what?” My sister bangs a hand on the table and I hold my own up to calm her down.

“It’s fine, Mika, but…”

“Hange’s right…” Everyone turns their eyes to Jean.

“Hell yeah I’m right!” It was Hange’s turn to bang their hand on the table top.

_“Don’t let it go to your head, four-eyes…”_

“No, I mean…if you wanna get anything out of Erwin, you’ve gotta catch him off guard – don’t let him have the opportunity to bring those fucking walls up.” I nod my head at Jean.

“Okay…”

 _“Eren, you still got those photographs?”_ I look down to Levi and nod. _“Go get them.”_ I let go of Levi’s hand and head over to the growing pile of papers on my desk, pulling out the loose photographs Levi and I found a few days ago. I throw them on the table and watch as everyone leans forward to get a better look.

“Some of these photographs were taken by Levi whilst he was on the job, I think maybe he was getting dirt on officials regarding their illegal involvement in organised crime.”

“Yep…that’ll do it…” Jean leans back in his chair and I silently agree. I point to the photo of Erwin and Levi standing together.

 “This photo is the evidence that proved Erwin was more involved than we initially thought. He met up with Levi _one day_ before the incident…and I’d bet a good deal of money that Erwin was the second missing persons from the forensic report of the Titan crime scene.” I’d shown the photos to Hange and Armin the day we found them, so I watch as Armin passes them onto my sister. “If we knew what the hell they were talking about, we’d have a much better idea of what kind of situation we were looking into.”

“Well…don’t supposed a certain undead grumpy pants has any vague memories?” Hange leans forward and wiggles their eyebrows.

 _“First of all, shitty glasses, I’m not undead, those are zombies...it’s just…just dead – got it?”_ I knew it was a rhetoric, the comment alone merely for my benefit and Levi’s ongoing desperate grasp onto sanity. _“…and no, I remember nothing…”_ He sits back in a bit of a huff.

“You know what I don’t really get though…you remember so much now, like…” I look to Levi but direct the question to the open room. “Why wouldn’t you remember Erwin?” Levi shrugs as Hange makes a ‘hmmmm’ face.

_“Just another piece of the existential puzzle, isn’t it?”_

“Wow, he looks just like he did earlier…” The three of us are taken out of our little rift and we look at my sister who stares at the photograph of Levi. She looks up suddenly and blushed lightly. “Sorry, it’s just…kinda crazy…and sad.”

 _“Yep…crazy and sad…”_ Levi looks up at me, his tone condescendingly chipper _. “I’d like that to be the name of my biography, if you don’t mind, Eren.”_ I give him a stern look and he holds up his hands, glancing back down the table to my sister. Mikasa passes the photo to Jean and he leans forward, his brow scrunching – something he always does when he has to use his brain.

“So, what is our next course of action?” I lean a hip against the table and cross my arms at Armin’s question.

“It depends…are we just trying to get justice for a friend who was wronged through the corrupt system of our society…or…” I lift my shoulders in a mid-shrug. “…are we attempting to take down an assembly of dirty officials affiliated with the biggest organised crime syndicate of the city over that past fifty years?” My questions fall silent over the room.

“Um…” Hange pushes their glasses up and clears their throat. “…Maybe…m-maybe we should, you know… start with the first one and then…then see how it goes I guess.” I dip my head to the side.

“Sounds like a plan to me…Jean…?” I offer my attention to the other end of the table. “…anything to add?” I wasn’t really expecting much since he’s still very much in the dark – but he’s still a good detective none-the-less.

“Well, actually…” Jean leans his elbows on the table and holds the photo up to point at Levi’s still figure. “…are we talking about this guy?” Jean’s finger covers Levi’s sharp suit, only leaving his pale face standing out from the dark background of the old photograph.

“Yeah…why?” I didn’t like the turn in atmosphere, Jean was just supposed to be a stand in. He didn’t really know anything…did he?

“It’s just…” He turns the photo back again and looks at it closely “…I think I recognise him…”

“From what…?” I ask it tentatively… like my sister said, Levi’s face wasn’t…boring – once you met him once, he was hard to forget.

“Do you remember a few weeks ago…” Jean sits back in his chair and puts the photo down, looking up at the four (five) other sets of eyes now on him. “…you came in and you were acting kind of weird…”

“Doesn’t _really_ narrow it down much, Jean…” I gesture frustratingly.

“Well, you’d gone into Erwin’s office to talk to him. It was about the Wielman case…you weren’t in there for long, but you seemed kinda annoyed when you came out. Shortly after that you had to go to an appointment to see Hange…” Jean gestures in Hange’s direction. “After you left, Erwin called _me_ into his office. He was acting a little weird himself – maybe whatever you had was catching…” I frown at the comment and Jean continues. “…he asked me to dispose of a few things for him…which I thought was kind of strange since, like…the hell do I look like, a garbage man? So, naturally, I said yeah – ‘cause he’s my boss - and then he went into the back and took out a few files.”

“The private files?” This must have been the day I first brought Levi into the precinct with me…when I asked Erwin about Levi to his face…and he basically told me to keep my nose out.

He must have freaked…

“Yeah, like…from his office…and he took one out and just ripped a whole chunk from the middle, leaving just the front and inside info. I didn’t really think much of it, but I took the file, it was pretty hefty, and disposed of it like he told me to.” I pick up Levi’s thin private file we stole from Erwin’s office – the mystery of its contents finally revealed.

“Why wouldn’t Erwin just dispose of it himself?” Armin leans back in his chair, throwing his hands up in question.

“Less likely to get tracked back to you, I guess?” I shrug… “Do you…” I sigh because it was a long shot. “…have any idea what was written in that file?” Jean was, after all, the best at getting information…

“Well…like I said, I don’t recognise this dude because I have a habit of minding my own business.” Jean smiles and it actually makes me feel a little lighter. “It held mostly the cases and active duty performances you’d expect from a detectives file. But then as you went further through the pile, there were more photographs…” Jean seems to think for a moment. “…there were hospital reports and test results…a lot of test results over the course of…” He shrugs. “…months…there were next of kin papers, blood reports, a recommendation for internal promotion form, there were precinct photos and recreational photos.”

“Recreational photos…you mean like, just everyday - …?”

“Yeah, like…with friends and stuff.” It sounded like a fucking scrapbook…and he got rid of it…? I don’t look up and I feel the hollow clump left behind from the small hope Jean had given us.

“What did you do with everything after you went through it?”

“I didn’t really think much of it…so I shredded it and went about my day…” I close my eyes and let out a sigh. “…sorry Eren…” I open them and give Jean a small smile.

“That’s fine Jean, you were just doing your job…thanks anyway…”

“Back to square one then…?” Hange sits up and we all let out various sounds of fatigue.

“Why get rid of it now…?” I actually sit down and lean my head on the back of Levi’s chair. “Why hold onto all of that…photos…reports…just to get rid of them now?”

It didn’t make any sense…

“Maybe he cared more than we’re giving him credit for…” Armin’s suggestion agitated me for some reason and I can tell he was wary about saying it.

“Well, he’s got a funny way of showing it…!” Hange snaps but looks down apologetically.

“True…” Armin continues regardless. “…but maybe we’re looking at this the wrong way…sometimes, it’s easy to judge someone’s actions when you don’t have the whole picture. I don’t know about you guys…” Armin looks to both me and Mikasa. “…but if it was the only way to protect _you_ …I’d like to think I’d go to some pretty crazy lengths to make sure I could.” I cross my arms and throw my weight back in my chair.

“But would you mess into my undercover Titan operation case, steal me away from a crime scene, hide me in a hospital whilst I spend the rest of my days in a coma and tell every other person I loved I was dead, shot in a dirty back alley or found floating in a _fucking_ river!? Then take a _fucking_ promotion to top it all off whilst spending the rest of _your_ days trying to convince yourself and EVERYONE ELSE that I. Never. Fucking. Existed!?” I meant for it to come out snippy and condescending – but Armin just smiles.

“If that’s what I _had_ to do…then you bet your ass I would…”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr - jovialjellyfishreaper 
> 
> xxx


	18. Tragic Romance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took a bit longer than I'd hoped but I had a little writer's block for this chapter - figuring a few things out and such...  
> Thanks again guys for all of your beautiful messages, I love hearing what you all hope will happen and the reluctant acceptance if you are to suffer anyway XD  
> Hehe - Love you all!!!! <3
> 
> Really hope you enjoy the new update!!

(Eren POV)

“So, uh…” I close the door after saying goodbye to Armin and Hange, then turn to look at Jean, still sat up the table. “…can I ask some questions now?”

Oh yeah…Part of me had totally forgotten that Jean still didn’t really understand. He’d sat there and helped in anyway he thought he could, even without really knowing what the fuck was going on.

“Sure…” I sit down opposite him and gesture my hands out in a ‘go ahead’ gesture. “…I did promise questions at the end, didn’t I?” Jean nods and my sister looks over at me from the kitchen, giving me a look that said to take it easy. I sigh. “What do you wanna know?” My partner leans forward and takes a minute to put together whatever it was that he wanted to say in his head.

“You’ve, uh…” He sits up straighter and looks me in the eye. “…we’ve been partners for some time now Eren, and…and I know we don’t always get on or we don’t always see eye to eye, but you’re my friend and I _do_ care about you Eren--”

 _“Awwww…”_ Levi gets up from his chair and makes his way over to the couch. _“…isn’t that sweet.”_ I ignore him and let Jean go on.

“—I know you haven’t really been yourself for a while. I notice you acting weird…y-you talk to yourself and you’re late. You’re always busy doing things that have nothing to do with the cases we’re _supposed_ to be working on.” He runs a hand through his hair. “I guess I just kind of put it down to stress, the accident…everything…” His voice goes quiet toward the end and I lean forward.

“Jean…” He looks up at me. “…I’m sorry that you’ve had to deal with my shit…I mean...” I chuckle. “…even way before any of this, you dealt with a lot.” Jean returns the laugh and nods his head.

“That’s true…when I came here this evening and heard everything that you guys had been doing…” He spares a quick glance at my sister and a slightly guilty expression crosses her face. "...some things started to make sense. I understand why you didn’t tell me, I’m not—”

“Jean..." I hold my hand up and cut him off. "...the situation was so…messed up – honestly, Mika only really found out today and everyone else…” I struggle to put what I want to say into words. “You would have thought I was crazy—”

“I already think you’re crazy…you suicidal bastard…” Jean gives me a smile and carries on. “…So, this Levi…when I was listening to you all talk I got the impression we were talking about a dead man, but _also_ that we weren’t…how does that work?”

“It doesn’t…really—”

“So, which is it, is he dead or not?” I let out a tired sigh and shrug my shoulders.

“Yes…?” I glance over towards Levi as he leans against the back of the couch, watching the conversation unfold. “…and no.” I turn back to Jean, a confused expression, verging on impatience. “He’s dead, Jean…but I can see him.”

“He’s… _dead_ …” Jean points a finger at me. “…but you can _see him_?”

_“Catches on quick this one…”_

“Levi-!” I shoot Levi and glare and he raises his hands innocently. Jean’s eyes travel to the other side of the room where my own eyes keep flickering back to, then he let’s out a humourless chuckle.

“You…you’re, what, telling me you can see dead people, Ghosts…?” I nod my head and smile.

“It’s true Jean…” My sister walks over to the table and lays a tentative hand on her boyfriend’s shoulder. “I’ve seen it, he’s really here…” Jean looks around the table and I catch Levi move across the room in my peripheral.

“This _whole_ time…” Jean shakes his head. “…you’ve had some guy looking over your shoulder whose been dead for the past four year?” I shrug and tilt my head to the side in a ‘kind of’ motion.

“Well yeah…not so much looking over my shoulder, he’s a bit short for tha—”

 _“Whoa, watch it –”_ I raise my own hands up in surrender and watch Jean place his head in his palms, still shaking it in denial.

“I just…” He looks up at me. “…when I first came in here, I thought… you know, maybe at worst you were gonna tell me you guys accidentally killed somebody— not that – I…” Jean rubs his fingers on his temples.

 _“It’s okay, Jean…”_ I watch Levi raise a hand to rest it on Jean’s shoulder, his voice flat and condescending – for my ears only. _“…we promise that next time, it’ll just be your good old-fashioned murder cover up—”_ As soon as Levi’s hand touches his shoulder Jean’s eyes go wide and he throws his head over his right shoulder, moving too fast and pushing himself backwards. This causing him to lose balance and fall onto the floor.

“Jean!” Mikasa kneels down beside him to see if he’s alright. “Are you okay?” Jean nods slowly but doesn’t take his eyes off the spot beside his chair.

“He’s usually got a bit more tact than that…” I let out a sigh and stand up from the table.

 _“What? I figured I should push this along a little. It’s late, you’re all tired and we’ve got a lot of shit to figure out.”_ Well, that _was_ true… I look down at Jean and smile, hoping we can move swiftly passed the initial shock and jump right back to what’s important.

“Well now that everybody’s officially met…” I walk back over to the table and collapse with a sigh. “Maybe we should talk about what really matters here--”

“Can I have a drink?” Jean looks to the floor and my sister stands up, gesturing towards the kitchen when she replies.

“You mean like a tea?”

 _“I’m thinking he wants something a bit stronger than tea…”_ Levi sighs and makes his way back over to me, hands in his pockets. Jean shakes his head without looking over and Mikasa understands pretty quickly. She walks over to the kitchen to grab her boyfriend some form of strong spirit to calm his nerves. _“You know, I know it’s an involuntary reaction of some kind but…”_ Levi shrugs as he settles down beside me. _“…some small part of me is still a little hurt when people react like that to my presence.”_ I let out a chuckle and turn to take in his sharp profile.

“Oh yeah? Somehow I find it hard to believe you were ever much of a touchy feely person before all of this anyway.” I raise an eyebrow.

 _“Still…”_ Levi gives me a pointed look. _“…bet people never flinch and throw themselves onto the floor when you try console them.”_

“True…” I smile and look across the table as Mikasa helps Jean off the floor and back into his chair, gently pushing a small shot of vodka towards him.

“It’s all we had.” My sister sits down next to him and Jean picks the glass up, downing it in one go. He slams the shot back on the table and my sister picks up the bottle – I hadn’t even realised she’d brought the thing back to the table – and pours him another.

 _“We all cope in our own little ways…”_ I turn to Levi and frown, but he makes a dismissive gesture. _“Hey! I would have started drinking through this a long time ago…”_ He shrugs. _“…if I could.”_ I’m about to claim that I should have been enough to help cope, negating the need for alcohol, but then I think that he’s probably referring to the four long years he was stuck here without me.

“No, yeah…I get that…” I watch Jean’s shoulders relax a little after another shot (and maybe another) and wait for the room’s atmosphere to shift towards something slightly less wound up. We sit there for a few minutes when an unbalanced Jean suddenly stands from his chair and makes his way around the table. He settles down abruptly beside me and a hard expression falls across his face. It was as if he was having to think really hard, then the expression turned to something of concern. His eyes shift over to the seat next to me, then the expression changes once again into one of curiosity.

“So…s-so, what exactly are you gonna do, like…” Jean gestures his arms out dramatically around the room. “…are -are you…are you gonna use your powers for good or for evil?” He chuckles lightly and turns back to me. We hadn’t really gotten anywhere in regards to an immediate plan and now Jean’s found a way to ‘cope’ with the situation I suppose this is what we’re talking about. His rational brain shutting down and his curiosity waking up.

“I, uh…I really don’t know Jean…”

 _“Well…you could open up one of those ‘speak to your dearly departed’ bullshit scam businesses?”_ I glare at Levi and Jean sits up curtly, looking me in the eye.

“He’s who you were talking to all this time!” He smacks a hand to his forehead, a bit harder than you might if you were sober. “I just kinda thought you were talking to yourself o-or…or, like—”

_“Rehearsing a play?”_

“—going clinically insane…”

“Gee, thanks…” He looks back to me with a rather intense look and lands a heavy hand on my shoulder.

“Dude, I was worried about you.” I raise my eyebrows and share a look with my sister.

“That’s…that’s real nice to hear buddy.” I awkwardly pat Jeans hand that still rests on my shoulder and he squeezes lightly before sitting back. I sit forward and figure it’s probably best to call it an evening. Nothing more could really be done, and tomorrow was going to be a long day…

I could feel it…

“I think I’m gonna call it a night…” I stand up, sending my sister a smile and nodding in Jean’s direction – a silent ‘good luck with that’. Mikasa frowns and I start towards my bedroom with Levi at my heals.

“Night guys…” My sister’s voice bounces off my door and you could tell she still felt weird referring to the both of us. I close the door and lean against the hard surface, using the moment to ground myself. I swear to God, if I have to explain my crazy life to one more person I’m just gonna cut my loses and sit down and write a book…it’ll save me a lot of time.

 _“It was a good question you know…”_ I look up at Levi as he makes his way towards the bed. I raise an eyebrow.

“What? Whether I’ll use my powers for good or evil?” I head towards the wardrobe and go to take off my shirt.

 _“No…”_ Levi lets out a quick chuckle. _“…I think we both know you’re not capable of true evil Eren.”_ I turn around to spare him a glance and smile. _“…maybe cause a little misdemeanour chaos and generally irritate people…but not evil.”_ I pull my top off from over my head and throw it into the laundry. _“I meant the one about what you’re gonna do…?”_ I stop frozen for a second then look up at Levi, his manner cautious. _“…when this is all over?”_ I let out a brief chuckle and shrug. _“Don’t you think we should talk about it—”_

“What’s there to talk about?” I gesture my hands out to the room, my own irritation flaring at the question.

 _“Eren, every time this comes up you shut it down! Don’t you think it’s important to prepare for…”_ Levi flails for a moment and I can see the sincerity in his eyes – he was worried…about me. _“For whatever happens…More and more things are coming together every day, given there’s still so much I don’t remember and there’s a lot we still don’t know, but…”_ He sighs and runs elegant fingers through his hair. I take a step forward and try my hardest to keep my expression passive.

“I guess I’ll just have to accept whatever happens and get on with my life.” I didn’t mean to sound so harsh, but it was the reality of the situation…

It was _my_ reality…

Levi’s quiet for a moment and I bite the inside of my cheek, the pain helping to quell the sinking feeling in my stomach.

 _“So that’s it—”_ I deflate my shoulders in frustration, running my hands down my face.

“Jesus, Levi…!!” I take a deep breath, pushing my temper down. “What exactly do you _want_ me to say? That I’ll _never_ move on? Th-that I’ll be so _broken_ from loosing you that I’ll cease to function, the world is fucking _cruel_!? What’s the _point_!?” I move over to sit on the end of the bed and bury my head in my hands. I let out another shaky breath and I look back up, my ghost still hovering over the other side of the room. Levi’s face was carefully blank, showing nothing except the subtle dullness of his eyes.

 _“I didn’t mean…”_ He looks off to the side for a moment _. “…I didn’t mean it like that, I just want to know that you’ll…”_ He shrugs, a confused and pained look flashing across his features. _“…I just wanted to make sure you’ll be alright, I guess…?”_

…

…

“No.” I let my body relax a little and relish in the truth for once. “No, Levi…of course I won’t be alright.” My voice is weirdly flat for what I was saying, like I’d completely come to this resignation of sadness in my future. I wasn’t okay with it, but I sure as hell wasn’t going to scream and fight over something I knew - deep down – I had no control over. “We’ve been at this for so long, well…” I tilt my head in contemplation. “…seems like it’s been a lot longer than it actually has I suppose. But that’s the thing, after everything that’s happened and everything we’ve been through, there can only be so many chapters left…and eventually it’s gonna end and it’s gonna fucking suck…”

 _“I guess so…”_ Levi’s voice was quiet, uncharacteristically lacking in confidence.

“Personally, though…?” He looks up at me when my tone becomes lighter and I offer my hand out, urging Levi to step closer. He closes the space between us and I look up at him from my spot on the bed, running my hands down the length of his strong arms. “…for me, a good story is all about the journey, the ups, the downs and the fucking stupid bits…” I smile. “…regardless of how it ends, it’s been a pretty damn good story so far, don’t you think?” Levi smiles sadly and runs his fingers through my hair then down along the curve of my jaw.

 _“Yeah…you’re right…”_ He slides his fingers under my chin, tilting it gently so that I looked up at him. _“I’ve never really been into tragic romance novels though…”_ I smile at him and pull him closer, my voice dropping an octave as my hands slide up his back.

“Well, then we’ll just have to sop reading before the tragic part…”

 

(The next morning – 104 Precinct Department)

“Someone doesn’t look so good…?” I throw my stuff on my desk and I look over to Jean as he throws back a couple pills, scowling in my general direction.

“Yeah, yeah…I had a helluva night…” He sits up in his chair and washes the meds down with a glass of water.

“Yeah? How so?” I play along innocently, my tone nonchalant. 

“Well…” He sits forward. “…my partner dragged me into some pretty crazy shit…the guy’s been going through some stuff.”

“Awww…” I raise an eyebrow and sit down at the desk, resting my chin in my palm. “…well it sounds exciting, this partner of yours must be one interesting fella—”

“You could say that.” Jean’s voice comes out flat, but he smirks, and I nod my head slowly.

“Sounds it…” I lean back in the chair and rest my hands behind my head in a contented gesture. “…handsome too—”

“Yeah, yeah, alright – funny – you can wipe that look off your face…” I laugh and sit back up as Jean lowers his voice. “…Just…” He takes a moment and puts his hand out in front of him. “…I just want to double check that – that it really happened…all of it…like, what do I need to do now?” I nod my head and smile apologetically.

“I’m afraid so Jean, it’s all real…welcome to the crazies club…” I whisper it and hear Levi sigh beside me.

 _“I don’t remember agreeing to that…”_ I look up at him and watch as he folds his arms across his chest. _“…it’s a very prestigious club, we can’t just let anybody in.”_ He raises his eyebrows and I let out a laugh which draws Jean’s attention.

“What’s so funn—are you talking to him now, here!?” He looks up to the space over my shoulder and I keep my voice low.

“Levi says that you can’t join the club…” I shrug my shoulders and watch Jean’s face fall.

“What, that’s not fa—wait, are you just bullshitting me…?”

 _“There’s a very complex initiation process—”_ Levi starts off and I smile, reciting it all to Jean, relishing in his darkening expression.

“It’s a very complex initiation process…”

_“He doesn’t have the membership card--”_

“You don’t have the membership card--”

_“-the badge, he’s not fitted for uniform—”_

“-you don’t have the badge, and you’re not fitted for a uniform—”

“Uniform?” Jean gives me a quizzical look and I gesture casually.

“A fashionably designed straight jacket…” I raise my hand and point behind me. “…and it’s got our logo on the back.” I smile and look back up at Levi.

_“Nice touch…”_

“Thanks…” I shrug modestly. “…it seemed fitting.”

“What the hell are you talking about? Are you just trying to be irritating now Jaeger, ‘cause it’s working--“?

“No Jean, we’re completely serious, if you can’t comply with the required criteria then we can’t give you the secret password…” I put a finger on my chin thoughtfully. “…although we will have to _come up_ with one…and a logo—”

 _“How about God giving us the finger, for a logo…?”_ I glance to Levi. _“…I mean, because that is what it feels like a lot of the time lately—”_ I tilt my head in consideration.

“Maybe, we’ll have to draw up some ideas for that, also the secret password—”

 _“What about…”_ Levi seems to think for a moment before I see a glint in his eyes, his voice impersonating a terrible Whoopie Goldberg. _“… ‘I know you don’t think I’m giving this four million dollars to a bunch of nuns!’…?”_ He looks to me and I laugh, snapping my fingers.

“Perfect, a ‘Ghost’ reference will ensure our authenticity and security of the club…mind, perhaps we should do one of those ask and answer passcodes, it’ll increase its efficiency and the legitimacy of our member’s commitment to the movement.” Levi looks down at me and nods – both of us getting carried away in – what was originally – us dickin’ around with Jean.

 _“What about the Orlando possession?”_ My eyes light up and I spin my chair to face the ghost, putting on the worst southern accent I can muster.

“… ‘Damn, baby, what’d you do to yo hair?’…” Levi laughs and stands straight, running his hands up the sides of his head and copying my terrible southern drawl with a hint of femininity.

 _“…Orlando, you like it? It’s Autumn Sunrise’…”_ We both laugh and for a moment I totally forget where I am. I take a moment to calm down and turn slowly in my chair to face Jean.

“It’s a great movie, Jean – you have to have seen it…” I watch my partner pinch the bridge of his noise and gather his thoughts.

“You know, I feel like _this_ …” He gestures between the two of us, getting Levi’s position pretty on point. “…should be weirder…” He shrugs. “…but now it just kinda makes sense… You’re both clearly insane, and you both have shitty taste in movies…” I gape at Jean and point my finger at him.

_“Blasphemy!”_

“That’s Blasphemy!!

_“He’s outta the club…”_

“You’re outta the club!!” Jean just rolls his eyes at me and stands from his desk, sparing a moment to run his hands down his face in frustration before walking away. I look back up to Levi and smirk, taking in his glinting eyes and the remnants of his smile.

“I’m gonna miss this…” He looks down at me and raises a hand to run lithe fingers through my hair.

 _“Yeah…”_ Levi’s voice had turned quiet and almost nostalgic – already missing a time that hadn’t yet passed. _“…me too.”_

 

 

I stay at the precinct for most of the day, looking over the various files and cases we’d all gathered together over the passed couple of weeks. The same files we’d all discussed last night. I look for anomalies we could have missed or even evidence that could suggest where Levi might be – anything of where his body ended up.

But nothing…

The afternoon turns to evening and I lean back in my chair. Jean had left a few hours ago to go check up on a case down by Trost, leaving just Levi and I, the only ones left in the main area of the department. I let out a frustrated sigh and adjust my position in the chair. Levi’s badge digs painfully into my side so I remove it from my pocket, placing it on the desk.

“It feels hopeless sometimes…” I sit forward, Levi’s fingers edged into my peripheral as he leans back onto the piece of furniture.

_“Maybe you should take a break, you’ve been at it for hours –”_

“No, Levi, I need to figure out something that I can use to confront Erwin. I need something to spark suspicion or a connection to some other case.” I look up at him. “I can’t just run in there guns blazing and accuse him of shit that _one_ : I should have no idea ever happened, and _two_ : that I have no legitimate evidence for. I’m but a blip on the raider compared to that man, I’m a fucking lemming – and lemmings don’t get to make radical accusations…” I give him a flat stare. “…you know what lemming’s do Levi?” He shrugs. “They jump off cliffs, they do what they’re told, no questions asked, and they jump off the fucking cliff…” I hear Levi sigh.

 _“I understand what you’re saying Eren but it’s not like you don’t have anything to throw in front of him, and you said so yourself, all it took was a passing mention of my name and you had the guy scared. Kinda seems to me that you’d just be opening up a can of worms that leads straight to that man’s conscience – not his job description.”_ I look down then push my chair back, standing up for the first time in too long.

“I’m gonna grab a coffee, I’ll be back in a second.” I don’t look back as I make my way out of the room and into the darkened corridor. I push open the double doors and head for the coffee machine which was situated out in a dingy hallway between a stairwell and the next department. I pick up a mug and begin making the shitty cup of coffee when I hear the soft patter of footsteps and turn to see Marco push through the stairwell door.

“Eren! Just the person I was looking for. I was afraid you might have already gone home but here you are…!” The flustered guy smiles at me and I raise a curious eyebrow.

“Here I am…” My wry tone doesn’t deter the sunny disposition that was Marco and he adjusts an old looking shoe box in his hands, preceding to hold it out in front of him for me to take. “What’s this?”

“It’s from Hange. I just had a session with them and they had to run but they asked if I could give that to you. They said they’re very sorry and hopes to see you tomorrow. I have no idea what it is, they said they thought you might appreciate them, maybe they’d help – help with what I don’t know – but they didn’t say. I hope its something good, I know you’ve been going through some stu—” I hold my hand up to stop Marco’s rambling.

“Thanks Marco, that’s…” I felt kind of awkward, not really knowing the guy. “…thanks--” I look down at the battered show box then back to the guy in front of me. The last time I saw the health department officer was a little over a week ago when I barged in on his session with Hange. I had been pretty rude – given I was going through some stuff, which was clearly evidend enough for someone I knew as little as Marco – but who was I kidding…

I had been a dick…

“---Hey, Marco…sorry for…” I rub the back of my neck. “…the other week—” It was Marco’s turn to hold a hand up, stopping me in this pitiful display of an apology.

“That’s okay, Eren…like I said, you’ve been going through some stuff.” I nod my head and pick up my lukewarm coffee.

“Thanks again…” I lift the box half-heatedly. Marco smiles and I turn back towards my department. I push the door open and walk across into the reasonably lit room, heading back to my desk, the space…

\--empty…

“Levi…?” I can feel the onslaught of panic already settling in. I plonk the show box on the desk and spin around. “Levi?” I call out into the vacant room. I walk around the other desks and start to run frantic fingers through my hair.

Where the hell has he gone?

“Levi!?” My voice was getting wobbly and I jog around the other side of the desk. That’s when I notice the badge wasn’t where I’d left it. “No, no, nononononono…” I move piles of folders, papers scattered across the surface and under my chair. I get onto my knees to make sure it hadn’t fallen off and skid under something, my desk, the cabinet – but nothing…

It was nowhere…

“It’s okay Eren…” I take a wobbly breath and close my eyes. “…it’s fine, I just…” I open my eyes and take another look around the room. There was nobody here, nobody to take it…My eyes are drawn to the only other light source in the room which comes through the blinded windows connecting Erwin’s office to the rest of the department.

I thought he’d gone home ages ago…

I walk over to Erwin’s door and feel my heart rate beat faster and faster in my chest. Could he have taken it. Could he have waited for me to leave the room, gone over to my desk to see what I was doing then seen the badge – of course he could have! God, Eren!! How fucking stupid can you be?! I shouldn’t have left Levi’s badge just sitting on the side, it was fucking naïve…

I take a deep breath and knock on the door…did he hear me talking, how much does he know…?

There’s no answer so I knock a little harder…nothing. I become inpatient and try the handle, it pushes down, and I walk into the room with a force. I immediately spot Erwin at his desk, just sat there looking down at some papers – as if I hadn’t just been banging frantically on his door.

“Where is it?!” I’d planned on keeping it cool, but apparently that wasn’t going to happen. My eyes rake over the entire room but there was no Levi in sight. The man doesn’t even look up at me from his desk, which just makes me panic more…

So, I turn the panic into anger. I take a step forward, slamming the door behind me…

“Where the hell is it, Erwin!!?” The blond man finally acknowledges me, and sets his pen down.

“Perhaps you could try knocking before barging into my office, waiting for me to invite you inside and then we can talk…?” His tone was so condescending, I found it a miracle I didn’t start throwing things there and then.

“Oh, cut the bull, Erwin…there’s a time and place for your prissy little rules and it’s not fucking now!” I take another step into the room and gesture my hands out. “Where the hell is it!? What did you do with it!?”

“I don—”

“Don’t FUCKING lie to me _Detective Smith_! You make a habit of stealing from your employee’s desks?” Erwin stands from his chair, part of me expecting to see anger but he merely smiles.

Aaaarghghgh!

“It was hardly yours to keep in the first place _Detective_ Jaeger…” He adjusts his jacket and precedes to take a seat once again. “I was merely returning a piece of property to it’s rightful place.” I walk up to the desk, placing my palms on the obnoxiously varnished wood. My voice comes out low, the panic inside slipping out.

“You had no right—”

“Eren…” Erwin appears to see some of the desperation in my eyes and lowers his own voice, it becomes tentative – which I don’t much care for. “…I don’t know, or understand, how you managed to become involved in any of this. I told you the other week to forget about h—” I slam my hands on the table and run my fingers through my hair.

“Don’t FUCK with me Erwin!! Just…j—” I take a deep breath, trying hard to calm my temper. “…just give it back to me, please.” My slow unravelling seems to dawn on Erwin and he sits up straighter, his tone more assertive when he next speaks.

“I don’t have it, Eren. I don’t know how you got hold of it, or why it was still lurking around here somewhere, but you need to forget about it. It’s disposed of—”

“BULLSHIT!!” Tears start to fall down my cheek. “You’re lying…!! You’re lying, I _know_ you are!!” He holds up a hand to calm me down, but we seemed a little passed soothing gestures. I feel a sudden reassuring calmness settle over me, I don’t know where it comes from, but I accept it and sooth my temper some.

“Eren!” He doesn’t yell but stands his ground. “None of this concerns you, I don’t know what you know or why you seem so invested in a man you never even met…or how much you seem to have _weaselled_ yourself into—

“Weaselled into?! I know you fucking betrayed your best friend, I know you took a fucking _promotion_ not months after he was murder by your FUCKING superiors!!” Erwin stands up suddenly and clamps a hand over my mouth. I don’t move, not scared of what he’d do, just tired and drained. I feel another tear escape and look Erwin in the eye. They were slightly wider than before, and he shakes his head slowly.

“You don’t know—” I shove his hand away and take a step back.

“I know enough…I know _enough_ , Erwin, so you can either give me back what’s mine…or you can sit the fuck down and explain a hell of a lot of shit to me…and _then_ give me back what’s mine.” The taller man takes a moment to consider my words and settles back in his chair, running a hand down his face.

“I don’t understand how you managed to get involved with any of this?” He looks up at me and I gingerly take a seat on the opposite side of the desk. My hands felt antsy without Levi’s badge, a heavy feeling in my chest not knowing where it was – where _he_ was. I watch as Erwin pushes his chair back a little and opens a small cabinet. He lifts his head a moment later, placing a bottle of dark brown liquid and two glasses in-between us. He lifts the bottle and gestures it to the glass closest to me.

I shake my head – a polite decline. He pours one for himself and takes a sip, then sits back in his chair. We sit there for a few minutes and I feel myself become more and more on edge, but the calmness appears once again out of nowhere and I take deep breath.

“Sir—” I let it out in a sigh but Erwin interrupts before I can go on.

“You know…” He laughs almost silently to himself. “It’s funny really, like some bizarre divine intervention.” Erwin looks over to me and I say nothing, wanting to know where the hell he was going. “He was a damn good detective, Eren…you probably would have liked him – at least, admired him…I did.”

“Erwin, I…” I struggle to think of the words to say, how much do I tell him? Do I play dumb…do I tell him everything? “Please tell me what you did with hi—th-the badge, where is the badge…” My voice sounded annoyingly vulnerable to my own ears. I didn’t want to sit here and listen to Erwin talk about how much he admired his friend which all evidence points to him screwing over in some way. Erwin shakes his head.

“I can’t Eren, that thing shouldn’t have even been around here anymore, I must have missed it.” He says the last bit quietly to himself and I watch his demeanour turn almost defensive. “I don’t know what you _think_ you know, Eren…but there’s a lot to that story which you would fair far better not knowing about…” I’m about to interrupt but he carries on, talking over my protests. “…I get that you’re a young, ambitious detective, but taking on something to this degree is just idiotic and naïve.” He thinks I started looking into the case for, what, the fucking credit of solving the thing.

“I just want to know what happened, Erwin.  I want to know what happened to Levi --Mr Ackerman…” I look down for a second, nearly tripping up. I didn’t want to let Erwin in on how deep I’d really gotten. “I know I don’t know everything, and I never _claimed_ to but there’s some pretty shady gaps in a lot of the stories going around. Hange—”

“You spoke to Hange about this?!” He raises his voice slightly and I jolt up in my chair. “How much exactly have you discussed with them?” I shrug.

“More than you’ve discussed it with _me_ thus far, that’s for sur—”

“Don’t get _snarky_ with me, Eren!!?” I jump again when Erwin slams a hand on the table and swiftly lifts it to run a hand through his perfectly styled hair. “Shit…” He sighs and leans back, looking across to me with a sad look in his eyes. They appeared to be somewhere far away.

“What did you mean, before…?” The man gives me a brief look of confusion before I clarify. “…about divine intervention?”

“I don’t know, I guess…” He shrugs and picks up the almost empty glass, sloshing around the brown remnants at the bottom. “…how you’ve become so involved with a man you didn’t even know, but you probably wouldn’t even have a job if it wasn’t for him.” I frown and lean forward in my chair. I don’t understand, what the hell does that mean – Levi wasn’t even around when I started working here.

“That can’t be possible.” Erwin lets out a humourless chuckle.

“Of course it is, new precinct recruits are picked for numerous reasons. The process is a reasonably long and gruelling one which starts when you first pass the third term at the academy. We consider how well possible applicants have done so far and watch them from there on. We started considering the 2013 104 precinct recruits nearly a year in advance before your place here was announced. You would have been told after you graduated, but your name would have been put forward long before that--” I didn’t know this, I just kind of assumed they picked whoever passed with decent enough credit scores. Erwin continues when I say nothing.

“—That year was the first time the responsibility was put down to me. I was up…” He looks down for a moment and swigs the last drops of alcohol, clearing his throat. “…I was up for a promotion that year, so it seemed reasonable, but it was a tough job. There were so many applications and I only had so many spots to give to graduates. Only so many could be taught once they were on the job, so I had Levi help me look them over. Obviously, we both had rather different opinions on what made a good rookie, we always did work with rather different methods…”

“What does this have to do with divine intervention – I don’t see ho—”

“Well, after looking at various stats, credit scores and physical performances, certain students were narrowed down. I had the ones I approved of and Levi had picked some of his own…one of those being you…” I felt my body stiffen.

“What…?” It came out breathy and I slouch down in my chair. “…so, he…” Erwin shakes his head.

“But we decided, ‘ _we’_ being me and the head of the department at the time, that you were deemed too unfit for training on the job. You had records of starting fights and your temper caused too many problems at the academy. Your background got you off on more than one account, but _here_ , that wouldn’t have cut it. I dismissed the suggestion, but Levi argued for you. He felt that rather than discounting you for what was deemed a liability, we should see it as an asset, he saw you as passionate and felt that if you managed to hone your aggression into something else you would make a bloody good detective… and you did, Eren.” He smiles at me sadly. “But Levi was overruled, and you were cut from the application process.”

“But then how come…?” I stop for a second and let the implications of Erwin’s words sink in. They only had so many spots for recruits that year, and _I_ didn’t fill one of them… “…a new spot opened up?” My voice is quiet, and Erwin nods his head.

“Due to unforeseen circumstances, the precinct needed an additional recruit that year…after Levi’s death… I thought it would be…” He shrugs his shoulders. “…what he would have wanted, I don’t know.” I rest my head in my hands and let out a shaky breath.

No, no nonononononono…

This was like some sick joke…

Divine intervention?

It was actually crudely accurate – I sure as hell don’t know if what brought Levi and I together could be consider divine, but it was fucking cruel that’s for sure…

“You turned out a good detective, Eren…” I glance up at Erwin, my eyes stinging as the tears started falling. “He would have thought so…” I shake my head.

“I can’t…” This wasn’t fair. The only reason I started working here was because Levi wanted me to, but I was only _able_ to because he died, and then five years later, due to an accident brought on by the very same people that let this happen, I woke up with these fucking powers just so I could find him in the evidence room – where’d he’d been since I started. In a way it made me sadder to think that Levi _didn’t_ remember me, or recognise me at all…although, I guess he still didn’t remember most things… My mind travels back to when we first met, and I asked Levi about it…

_‘I didn’t know who you were when we met Eren, but…’_

But…? He never did finish that sentence…

“Eren, I know it’s hard to hear, and somehow you’ve gotten yourself tangled up in this mess, but you can’t look any further, it’s dangerous…” I break myself out from the spiral my mind had cast me down and I frown over at Erwin.

“Why, how much further does it go?” My voice comes out surprisingly steady.

“That’s besides the poi—”

“No, Erwin, I can’t go back, _you_ think you know it all, but you _don’t_!” I keep eyes on him and watch his shoulders slowly deflate. “I want you to take me to him—

“Eren—”

“No, I want you to take me to where ever you left him, I want to know where he is!” I still didn’t know what Erwin had done with the badge. He hadn’t had enough time to take it anywhere too far, but this was my chance to find out what really happened to Levi’s body. “You think you can just turn me away and make me forget but it’s way too late for that – I’m in this now and, whether you like it or not, I will find out what happened…so, _please_ …just take me to him.” I watch the internal fight happen behind Erwin’s eyes, the debate on whether to let the hot-headed detective in on his little secret.

“Fine…” My eyes widen, and I catch the look of resignation fall across his face.

“You’ll take me to him?” He nods his head.

“Yes…” He stands from the desk and walks across the room to pick up his coat. “…but first I need to make a stop somewhere.” I nod my head frantically and stand up.

“Wait, you promised me I could have what’s mine—”

“Actually, no…” He shrugs on the jacket and gives me a blank stare. “…I didn’t promise you anything…it was never _yours_ to have Jaeger.” And then he opens the door to leave. I push down the sickening feeling his words cause and keep telling myself that it couldn’t have gone far.

He’s still here…

He’s safe…

“Are you coming, Eren?” I let out a sigh and follow Erwin out of the room, picking up my own jacket on our way out. I didn’t know where we were going, and I had this hopeful flutter in my chest…

Which never led to good things…

 

 

(Ten miles out West from down-town Shiganshina)

“Jesus, it’s cold…” Erwin closes the car door behind him and I take the plastic carrier bag he thrusts in front of me.

“What’s in here?” He shakes his head and turns the engine back on. The wind had picked up as we made our way out of the city and the sun was getting low in the sky. I had no idea where we were going. When we first started to drive out into the country a small part of me wondered whether Erwin had brought me out here to kill me – but that seemed rather brash…

Besides, if he was going to kill me, he’d had plenty of chances before now…

“It doesn’t matter right now…” Erwin’s fancy car pulls back out onto the road and I bite my bottom lip, my nerves spinning around inside me and my empty back-pocket reminding me every other second of who _wasn’t_ here. The quiet car starts to make me feel uneasy when Erwin suddenly lets out a sigh. “… ‘At his best, man is the noblest of all animals; separated from law and justice he is the worst’…” He glances over to me, smiling at my confused expression. “Aristotle…when we forget the rules that provide us structure, we so easily become something we despise – I’m guilty of this more than most…”

“That’s--” I’m slightly at loss for words, the quick admission taking me slightly aback. Well, I suppose Erwin’s not the only one who can make profound references. “… ‘In my attempts to see clearly in the deepest dark, in my efforts to go to the still eye in the storm of madness, did I open myself to some pure source of evil? Did I finally reach the limits of reason? And find the devil waiting? And was that fear in his eyes?’…” I look over to him and he frowns in question.

“That’s beautiful…Socrates?” I smile to myself and shake my head.

“No…Batman…” He lets out a guttural laugh.

“Very good…” I turn to look out the window and watch the different colours change in the sky as the sun goes down. “Can I ask you a question, Eren?” I nod my head, my reflection in the window much paler than I expected.

“I guess so…”

“Do you respect me…?” I turn around at the question, not really expecting something so…exposed. “…I mean as your superior, as a detective…?” I swallow and think for a moment, not really knowing how to approach my answer. I look down at the white plastic carrier bag by my feet, then back to Erwin.

“I used to…I used to admire you a lot for what you’d accomplished in your career, for what you represented in the justice system…for what I thought were strong principles…but now I’m not so sure.” Erwin nods his head solemnly at my answer but doesn’t seem deterred by it, almost as if he had been expecting something to that effect. He sighs.

“I suppose I feel the same…” He indicates down a smaller lane and the trees cast shadows across the narrow road. “I used to think I could take on the world, I _did_ have strong principles, and in my mind, they were what kept me apart from everyone else. I used to see people be swayed so easily in this corrupt society and I vouched I’d never be one of those foolish enough to fall for the hand that offered…” He runs fingers through his hair. “It’s surprising how quickly one’s own ideals can become nothing more than a distant obstacle when circumstances call for it--” He glances at me and I feel a twinge of remorse for the man beside me.

I’d started to understand there was more to the story than I’d initially presumed, much like Armin had claimed. I wasn’t in a position to point fingers and drag anyone down when all I really knew were the skeletal remains of a buried case and the aged words of a man who deserved far more than he got.

“--We’re here…” Erwin stops the car up a small grass bank and opens the car door. “Don’t forget the bag…” I look at the darkening surroundings and see nothing but tall trees and hedges. I grab the bag and make my way out of the car, slamming the door behind me. The path was crooked, and I follow closely behind Erwin. He pushes open a gate which creaks on its hinges, sending an eerie noise through-out the cold surroundings. “Just up here…” We walk along a gravel pathway which leads up towards a bespoke house, its windows boarded up and its gardens overgrown.

I look off into the distance and see the tops of more buildings not too far off, behind a series of statues and flowerbeds.

“Where are we?” Erwin doesn’t stop walking and grabs the bag out from my hand.

“We’re where you asked me to take you…” I watch him remove the contents out the plastic and shove the discarded rubbish in his pocket. He holds a bottle of whisky in one hand and a packet of cigarettes in the other.

He was a mirror image of Hange the first time they showed up at my apartment nearly three weeks ago…

_‘I brought commemorable items!!!’_

_‘Smokes and booze?’_

_‘YES! Two of Levi’s favourite things!’_

The memory makes my eyes go glassy and I look down at the items…

“They’re for Levi…” Erwin says it nonchalantly, as if he turned up in the middle of no where everyday to give his friend smokes and booze. “…two of his favourite things…” He smiles briefly and begins walking once again. I continue to follow and watch as the last remnants of sunlight cast rays across the field…but it’s not a field at all – not in the grander sense. I take another look at the statues and flowerbeds, the new level of light revealing them to be angels and an abundance of gifts left by loved ones…

It was a cemetery…

We were in a graveyard…

My stomach drops, and I stop walking. This is what I had wanted…this is what I’d asked for…

So why does it feel so wrong?

Erwin stops in front of two smaller graves, they’re appearance slightly less significant than to those around them. One was bigger than the other, its high stone covered with veins of ivy – suggesting it had been there for a long time with fading red tulips lain at its base…the other was even simpler, with little words and no flowers. He bends down and places the two items in front of the near bare stone, then he turns back to me.

“Here you go Eren…” He gestures to the grave. “…this is what you wanted, wasn’t it?” I shake me head, my feet refusing to take another step forward. Erwin looks back down and adjusts the flowers to the other grave. He cleans some of the dirt off the stone revealing a name, ‘Kuchel Ackerman’…Levi’s mum. I take a step back and catch movement from the corner of my eye. Erwin frowns at me, taken aback by my reaction and reaches into his pocket.

A figure stood around the back of the graves, one hand resting on the taller stone…

It was Levi, meaning he must have been with us all this time – that calming presence from Erwin’s office… I feel the stinging behind my eyes diminish as the tears fall freely once more. Erwin moves to stand behind me and holds his hand out, the glint of metal causing Levi’s badge to appear almost celestial in this light. 

He’d had it on him this whole time and Levi had chosen to stay hidden through it all…could he not manifest, was he disappearing…was he just hiding, so that he could listen?

I don’t know…

I look back up to Levi and see a sad look in his eyes, everything said over the past couple of hours thrown at him from the shadows. I finally step forward towards his grave and make out the weak scribings of his name – simple – no dates, no ‘beloved’ …just ‘Levi’. I bend down to run my fingers over its rough surface, then down over the cold glass bottle, the cigarettes the same brand as the pack still sat in my room at home. I read his name over and over – feeling the ridges and bumps of the four simple letters.

_“I think, maybe…it’s a little too late to stop reading our story, Eren…”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr - jovialjellyfishreaper
> 
> ASfhjajdf SORRY if you got feels!!! XD


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